I tried to rape a cat today

I tried to rape a cat today.

It was catastrophic.

...

Go on

I would imagine that would shock the cat deeply - it could even be catatonic

Did it make a lot of noise during the assault?

i could imagine the amount of caterwauling

Kek

If you did this several times and wrote down the details, you could catalogue them

If you wanted to get rid of the evidence, you could hurl the corpse away with a catapult; or hide it deep in some catacombs

If you did this at sea in a boat, you'd need the stability of a catamaran

Nah, I just sold the corpse to a cattering bussines

Stop this right meow

you're lucky its caturday

HAPPY CATURDAY!

And if I was religious I would do it in a cathedral

If you filmed it and put in on Youporn, what would be the category?

If you did, I would categorise that as against the catechism

If you held the corpse by its nose and tip of its tail, it would probably lie in a catenery

...

LOL i love kitties

Oh, so close. There's a "th" there, not a "t"

Was the act very cathartic?

see

It kinda felt like sharing a joint with a cattle

shut up