Sup Sup Forums. I really want your advice. I'm a 27 year old hugless,kissless handholdless virgin...

Sup Sup Forums. I really want your advice. I'm a 27 year old hugless,kissless handholdless virgin. No girl has ever shown the slightest bit of interest in me.

Is it time to get a prostitute? Anyone been in my situation?

become wizard OP, ur so close

Yes it is time.
Engage the services of a clean and safe prostitute.
Only do this if you can LEGALLY do so.
If you cannot legally do so, I have no other advice than: don't do it illegally. Ever.

I do sort of want to become all powerful but the shame that comes with it will be unbearable.

By illegal do you mean picking one up off a street corner or visiting a brothel? I was going to go down the escort route from a site like adultwork.

Get off Sup Forums and get a better hobby.

Yes, get a hooker.

Not a street walker. Go to a massage parlour, or, if you can afford it and have your own place, a call girl.

Have fun!

And don't forget to think of a made up story of how you lost your virginity if a future girlfriend asks you about it.

>future girlfriend
y-yeah. Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it.

I lost my virginity to a hooker. A month or so later I was getting laid regularly with a non professional. Once you get the stink on you, bitches notice.

this is strangely true

By "illegal" I mean actually check if prostitution is even legal in your jurisdiction.
If you live in a place where it's legal to go to brothels (some places even require brothels to be licensed) then do so.
If you live in a place where street hookers are legal, you could try that too. But I don't recommend it.

On the other hand, you might live in a place where all forms of paid sex are illegal. In that case, consider travelling.

Let's get things straight: why do girls not show interest in you?

I don't know you, but I'm going to make some assumptions. You're probably not good looking. You probably don't have a lot of social skills either. Even if you were able to have a conversation with a girl, you would have nothing to talk about.

Sleeping with an escort may be cool, but you're going to be very disappointed in the actual act of sex. It's nowhere near as great as a virgin fantasizes it to be. Regardless of what others say, or all the porn you've watched makes you think, the only good sex is when you love the other person.

You should get off your ass, sign up for a gym and go three times a day. Half an hour cardio, half an hour muscle-building. Couple this with a well-balanced, healthy diet (no bullshit fad diet or /fit/ hypes) and I guarantee you you will look and feel top-notch within a year. A year's a long time I hear you think? Your entire life alone is much fucking worse. Paramount is developing a sense of style and good hygiene. Head over to /fa/ and read their FAQ to get a basic idea of how to clothes-shop. Don't be afraid of asking people for advice, but remember good clothes on a bad-looking body is like putting lipstick on a pig. As for hygiene, learn to stick to a skincare routine that works for you and learn to _never_ leave the house without looking tiptop. It's not so much about looking good for others, but getting into the habit of caring about your appearance. When you look good you will feel confident. People are drawn to confidence.

Second of all develop some hobbies and interests. The right women _do not give a fuck_ about you being into the typical bro-things such as sports. They care about you being passionate about a subject and having values. If a woman tries to change you because of your beliefs/hobbies, dump her and move on.

Remember it's never too late to change your life around user, you're only 27.

By three times a day I meant to say three times a week*

I've always been overweight although I have lost some but am incredibly self conscious, so much so I was planning on losing some more before seeing the escort.

I suppose getting into shape and seeing how it goes is better than settling. I'll go and look around some gyms tomorrow. Thanks brother.

Exactly how many girls have you asked to hold hands/kiss/hug/fuck? If the answer is zero, you will be a virgin until you start asking. But yes, definitely get a hooker.

I've never met a woman who i thought it would be appropriate to ask out, never had any signs. Might end up getting a hooker, will try a gym first though. Thanks for taking the time to post.

Just don't wait for them to come to you. That was my big mistake.

>Is it time to get a prostitute?
When is it NOT time to get a prostitute? Even if you had a girl, you're still going to be paying for shit and spending lots of time listening to her ramble on about gossip and clothes and other petty shit you don't give a fuck about. Time or money, one way or another, you're still paying for sex so better to pay some cash for a girl to get your nut and then you don't have to see her again. Unless she's hot and the sex is good - then you might want to see her on the reg.

>Might end up getting a hooker, will try a gym first though

You don't need to go to the gym to see a hooker, bud. They don't give a fuck what you look like as long as you've got cash.

Hi, previously overweight sack of shit here. My highest weight was nearly 300lbs. After losing ~60lbs and gaining a good amount of muscle, I have soooo much more confidence(I'm tall with wide shoulders). It's sad to admit, but people do treat you like shit when you're overweight. My advice is hit the gym for a while, it doesn't hurt to exhaust that option before doing the extreme of hiring a prostitute with herpes.

>basement dweller detected

Definitely will. Congrats on your weight loss, I know it's hard. Thanks for taking the time to post brother.

>>basement dweller detected
Nah. Got my own house, a nice car, a good job and I get to spend my cash however I choose too. It's pretty sweet to be able to wake up one day and think "I want a new TV" and then I have one later that day. Single with no kids is fucking freedom, man. Anything you want to do in life, you can do it.

Thanks again for the advice. Feel a lot better now and know what I'm going to do. Will sage the thread as it's ran its course. You're good people.

I still wonder how 27 years of your life can pass without a single female showing any interest on you.

I mean, I'm not a Casanova and I average the pathetic 15 shags per year, but still sometimes I get female attention and act accordingly.

Is it that you don't go out? Is it that you cannot detect the signals? Maybe you have too high standards? Or is it that actually they are not interested in you?

When you go the gym, don't think you have to eat 3000kcal and 150g of protein a day to maximize your 'gains'. 70% of your weightloss will come from maintaining a stable diet over time that provides you with all the essential nutrients. Don't worry about 'gains' until you've reached your target weight first (calculate your BMI and then see how much you need to lose). You will still build significant muscle (that you and others will notice) even when 'cutting'.

I myself went through a similar process OP. 2,5 years ago I was a fat neckbeard browsing Sup Forums non-stop trying to hide my crippling insecurity. I've since then lost 35kgs and now lead my dream life. It's your decision buddy. Make the decision to start bettering yourself and put your mind to it. If I can do it then you _definitely_ can.

Some tips that helped me very well when it came to weightloss:

* (Gradually but firmly) cut out sodas and other carbonated/sugary drinks out of your diet. These are the absolute worst thing you can take. Challenge yourself to drink 2L of water a day _minimum_ and reward yourself with a can or two of soda in the weekend.

* Incorporate vegan meals into your diet. Eating vegetarian will lure you into the trap of adding cheese to stuff, don't do it. Eat vegetable-based once a week to start, maybe gradually increase it. I did this and now only eat plant-based. This is an opinion, but I suggest you try it.

* Buy yourself some good, health-focused cookbooks and learn to cook. Try to get enjoyment out of cooking and you will soon find you're in complete control of your own appetite!

* If you commit to it 100%, you will find that you start noticing results in 5-6 weeks. In 9-10 weeks, other people will start noticing them. Keep at it and don't give up. It's a marathon, not a sprint. In the end it will all be worth it and the only regret you will have is not having started sooner.

I hope you make it user. Don't let me down.

yeah but some girls alrealdy showed up some interest. But im strange and hard to really live girls ( cus all was ugley).


Dont hurry sir,

also dubs

Use my catch phrase
>"you're pretty hot, want to fuck? "

49/50 times you'll be rejected, but if there's 50 girls in the bar you're good.

Post face

Screenshotted your post, will take your advice. Thanks for the advice, I won't let you down.

Thanks for posting brother, hope everything turns out good for you. Also check em.

Actually that only renders 64% of probability of getting laid.

Read "How to be a 3% man" from Corey Wayne. Trust me.

I am just a random reader(not OP) and I mostly agree with you, but:

>going to the gym

That really isn't that important. I am almost the same as him (I've held hands 2 times in my life, although I am 22 soon), but for the physical appearance it really isn't that important.
Of course, he shouldn't be fat and should live a healthy life, but he doesn't need to go to the gym.

The only thing that he should do is be himself and do the things that he likes and maybe bond with people a little more. Eventually somewhere he could meet his potential gf or wife.

I know, I don't have the experience, but this is pure logic. If physical looks are so important, why sometimes not so good looking guys(or even ugly sometimes) have 10/10 gfs?

People who are socially successful, how the fuck do I not be awkward and be socially dominant? What is the goddamn secret?

>why sometimes not so good looking guys(or even ugly sometimes) have 10/10 gfs?

Because they've got a 12" cock, or they're loaded?

It's also loneliness, user. Don't end up surrounded by nice shit with no one to talk to but hookers.

You need to have interests.

Just be a decent person with a good sense of humour. It's about practice more than anything.

>Because they've got a 12" cock

Yup. You go to a girl and say that you have 12" cock. It surely works.

And for being loaded. That is the case sometimes, but it doesn't work if you don't have the corresponding attitude. Even if you don't have that much money, that attitude would buy those kind of girls, but do you really want that kind of a girl? I was thinking about real relationships.

I personally know some guys that are not so good looking, don't have money but have top gfs. It's mostly about the attitude, confidence, but not the physical appearance, although it does help, but it isn't the thing that decides.

No you'll just get AIDS. Go to a serious dating website and post the full truth about yourself. Everything bad and good about yourself and you'll eventually find the one. Hope this helps.

Get yourself together, man. Move to Philly. Buy a loft. Start a noise band. Get six or seven roommates. Eat some hummus with them. Book some gigs. Paint. Smoke cloves. Listen to Animal Collective. Start some type of salsa company.

You're absolutely right in saying that going to the gym and looking good aren't the only things that matter, but this is the first step (in my opinion) people should take to get some discipline when it comes to their health and wellbeing. Trust me when I say that life is easier when you look good. Even though it shouldn't be that way, people are very protective of their social circles and usually don't want to let anyone that doesn't at least look as good as themselves into it. At the end of the day, people are superficial and judge others by looks. It's not fair, but it's life and you need to learn to play by its rules.

>Smoke cloves
Jesus there are a lot of freedom in your comment, and I support you;

what kind of cloves are you using?

Also dubs

32 year old wizard here.

Embrace the abyss. Accept that love was a fairy tale and nothing more, and whatever vestigial life others might have with someone who can tolerate them is not meant for you.

Nurture your hatred.

Let every bad experience further fuel your hatred of life, but do not an hero. Rather, spread that hatred. Do not merely become cruel and unforgiving, but become cruelty itself and unforgiveness itself.

HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!

Let that be your chant every morning, every evening!

HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE! HATE!

Until one day humanity grinds away the very last vestige of the very last speck of those diseases we call hope and forgiveness.

Until then, hate be with you.

Almost 24 here
Fat short ugly Mexican looking, virgin too but I have kissed, hugged, had and gave oral sex tho.
My answer is online dating. If I found someone, so can you.
You can even practice with a fake profile first, just so you can practice how to start a conversation and whatnot.
Good luck.

>Yup. You go to a girl and say that you have 12" cock. It surely works.

Showing beats telling...

Faggot

Thats the exact same situation one of my best friends is in right now.

I have thought of this:

>hire a hooker
>set them both up on a date with the intentions of her fucking him
>tell her to keep her mouth shut
>so he ofc will not know that the fine lady is a hooker
>he'll get laid
>the spell of him thinking women are magical creatures will be broken

Thoughts Sup Forums?

Sounds like being a fucking hippie. Or hipster, indie faggot whateva

Lack of social 'dominance' stems forth from inherent insecurity. You need to develop yourself as a person to be fully confident with who you are. Once you have that, being socially confident is just the act of being yourself in social situations. Don't confuse social aptitude with that one guy that's always at the center of attention in group conversations. 8/10 times other people will find him just as annoying as you.

Here's a few tips though:
* Have good posture in conversations and know when/where to look. I always alternate between someone's left eye, then right eye, then tip of nose when making eye contact. Good eye contact is essential. Practice an intrigued look but don't make it creepy.

* Learn to read body language well. When people start to finish your sentences, point their feet in a particular direction it means they want out of the conversation. Learn to read the cues and let them exit gracefully.

* When at parties/gathering, always move with purpose. It's not a bad thing to stand alone. Look around the room and establish eye contact with someone, then go in. It's hard at first, but practice makes perfect.

* When you meet someone at random and you need to exit the conversation, don't make up an excuse as to why you have to go. Just say 'It was great to see you again!' or something similar. This one in particular has helped me a lot. It conveys confidence and makes both participants of the conversation leave it with a good feeling.

* Don't let people belittle you. When in a group conversation, if someone seriously messes with you simply lower your chin, look them in the eyes (once again don't be creepy) and ask them to repeat the sentence. Once you let one person walk over you it'll become a habit for others to do so too.

* Be a good person. Don't gossip. It's not going to help you _at all_. When you gossip, people automatically assume you will do the same about them and never open up to you.

>Happiness only real when shared

Maybe you're right. I really didn't want to accept that the being good looking is something important. By being good looking, I mean having six pack and things like that. I thought that just looking normal is completely ok, but that what you've said now make sense. Especially for girls.

On the other side, I've never had gf as well so all of my arguments are theoretical anyways :)

...

Lack of women isn't a good enough reason to kill yourself.
If you are really at the point of suicide, and have nothing left to lose try something else first.
Spend the next 6 months doing what you told yourself couldnt, or what you think would make your life better (as long as it's legal anyway). Get some lessons on that instrument you always found interesting, no one cares if you suck at first or if you suck in 6 months, but you should just stick with it for 6 months.
Create list of the top 3 books and movies you wanted to read or watch but never made time for and read/watch for 30min or an hour before bed.
Start waking up at 430 am and doing basic stretches/calinestenics plus push--ups and sit-ups see if you feel better.
All you have to do is try for 6 months - what's six months compared to 27 years - and see if at the end you feel differently.
Set an appointment to reevaluate the suicidal desires in 6 months, and see if you still prefer death to this world.
You have nothing to lose by trying for 6 months but stand to gain a lot.
Just focus on each day and each day you do what you planned on is a victory

I know it's hard to believe coming from a stranger on the internet, but once you look good (I looked terrible in the past) the female attention is fun for a while but you get bored of it. Yeah, I know it sound incredible now. The most shocking thing is the way people perceive you differently in your career and such. My career has boomed after losing a lot of weight and dressing properly. The reason behind this is that people subconsciously (and I argue willingly too) associate fat/uglyness with inferior genes and good looking people with the 'elite' of a gene pool, which all makes sense in evolutionary terms.

I love you, user

This is worrisome.

Sounds like something a person who never goes outside would say

Sure man, if you say so. Hope someone picks something up from this and makes his life better because of it, we all deserve it.

>dating website

Avoid these websites like the plague. Everyone lies on their profile. Most of these women are either landwhales, single mothers, and/or emotional trainwrecks

>Thoughts Sup Forums?
You gonna tell him afterwards and tell him he owes you the cash? That would be pretty fucking funny...

>>Happiness only real when shared
Lies.