What is something really weird you do that other people probably don't do?

What is something really weird you do that other people probably don't do?

After going to the bathroom I put a folded up wet wipe in my ass crack so I don't get skid marks.

I sometimes photoshop my sister's face into pornography then beat off to it

My wife is 75 pounds and lives partially off my cum. Pic related

I edit people's photos without their consent like take out acne, scars, red patches. It passes time.

i do that.

I have a hard time sleeping without my blanket.
And when I replace my blanket (after years of abuse) I need time to get attached to them again.
Not any blanket will do, there's a certain feeling the edges of my blanket needs to have. I run my fingertip over it as it suits me and calms me down. It has been that way as long as I can remember.

On another blanket related thing that's pretty unique:

When I was small I used to bite my blanket all the time. That's why eventually my parents started calling my blanket my "bite".
The act of calling my blanket turned into calling all blankets bites. And now "bite" is the word for blanket at my house. It took me years to realize the proper word for blanket wasn't bite.

I still call it a bite though.

I did that as a little kid, until my mom realized and confronted me about it. Now I just wipe better.

Is there a name for this fetish?

How long did it take to train her?

Partially? With food.. drink..? Explain me!

Why don't you WIPE with the damned wet wipe, so you don't get skid marks?

I touch the orb with my eyes closed

Not that long, she has a choking fetish. I'm 6.7 inches and she can take my entire length and girth. She tells me that she loves the way my cock expands in her throat and how warm my cum is.

I like to push frankfurter sausages into my rectum

I cut them in half, wipe with one, and then stuff with the other. Very useful for if you have gas.

She doesn't eat very much to begin with, she's only 4'11 and 75 pounds. Each morning she swallows my load for breakfast. She often will suck me off multiple times a day to fill her stomach. Her favorite thing is when I cum in her pussy, she likes to eat that. Her pussy is very sweet tasting.

> Be me.
> Work as state level lobbyist.
> Wear suit everyday.
> Wear buttplug when I call on any female legislators to feel powerful.

I like to fold my legs over my head, curl up into a ball, stick my dick in my mouth and roll around the house.

This dream girl..! Moar of her? She have any others fetish?

I'm known in my community as being extremely fertile, I get paid to get women pregnant. I don't advertise, it's only word to mouth. I make a comfortable living doing this and I'm living the dream. So far I have 37 kids that I know of. Life is fucking weird and amazingly random.

I pee in the toilet brush holder in public bathrooms. To me, the irony is hilarious.

kek

>37 counts of child support pending
What public bathrooms have tooth brush holders wtf?

Post her sweety sweet candyhole.

She likes when I bind her hands together and I make her piss herself, she also likes being pissed on.
She likes being a slave and put on a leash, calls me Master. Incest fetish, she calls me big brother and screams it when I blow my load inside. My favorite thing is she likes to use my cock as a pacifier when we watch movies, sometimes she just likes to do it.

this is intriguing

I've posted this picture several times on this website, I see some people posting her sometimes.

When I'm excited I like to grab a pencil and rapidly bang it against my chin. Or just above it if I want to calm down. The perfect pencil is the one with the perect eraser. The kind of eraser you can abuse with your fingernail.
But my mom keeps fucking using them.

I make each one sign a document that I had my lawyer draw up, essentially making me not responsible.

>I make her piss herself, she also likes being pissed on.
>use my cock as a pacifier

Yeah, I'm sure that relationship is gonna go well in the future.

I'm gonna guess you probably got married less than 5 years ago. OR, you just like to lie.

If this were 200 years ago I would have murdered you and stolen her by now fyi.

Lrn2r33d

I just destroyed my step sons weed stash. Ive told him not to bring it in my house and he still does it. He thinks hes so smart and tries to hide it in places I cant find. Stupid fuck has no clue that I have his room under video survellance at all times.

Exactly as one of my ex.. lucky bastard :)
That's for me.. the real dream girl.. you can really enjoy and share with theses kind of "games"
Longtime relationship?

This sounds like the essence of a Sup Forums user.

Incest you dummy

which mormon cult do you live in?

I'm just not sure that would hold up regardless.... But, I want to believe.

Why don't chicks think some other dude can knock them up?

The photoshop part not the sister part, probably should have made that clear.

>I make each one sign a document that I had my lawyer draw up, essentially making me not responsible.
>making me not responsible.

LMAO. You poor fuck, I hope you're kidding.

Any sort of "agreement" probably won't hold up even with the weakest of judges when it comes to child support.

You'll be getting a summons eventually for one of them when they want child support. You are still biologically the father.

Nothing against people who smoke I dont care but that legitimately made me laugh, thanks man it brightened up my day.

I have a fan against people who smoke, don't need second throat cancer

We got married December 14th, 3 years ago. How did you guess that?

it doesn't. precedent indicates that the state/federal laws regarding paternity always trump any individual contracts.

if he lives somewhere with some slightly more lax rules about paternity he's probably in the clear though.

My neighbor and I share a laundry room. We both have doors to it leading to our apartments. I have a little room set up on my side of the door when I can watch her while she is in there. Occasionally, she will take a load in and if my wash is in she will just sit it on the floor. At those times I like to go in and sniff her panties. I know she leaves the door between her apartment and the laundry room unlocked. I haven't worked up the courage to go in there when she is out yet. I know she uses a vibrator as I can hear it late at night. I bet it smells heavenly.

do it pussy

I've sniffed the panties and used them to fap of every female in my life.

Oh.
I'm drunk.

Some pic? creep? Of her

my friend has a fat NEET gf and she's one of the most annoying bitches I've ever known.

I frequently steal her underwear because the scent of her pussy drives me fucking insane, like my cock is so hard it fucking HURTS when I smell her fucking underwear.

It's easy to steal too because every inch of her fucking place is a god damned mess. I stole 15 pairs in one day. I don't understand why my dick loves that fat bitch so much.

I have yet to acquire nudes. Shouldn't be too hard if I ever find flash drives lying around.

There's was enough to be a creep, and then there's sad enough not to have a worthy creep target.

speak english motherfucker

I give myself enemas everyday.

A few years ago when I was constipated, I used the hand shower to spray water on my anus some of which went upstream and eased the pressure off of my rectum.

Ffwd a few years, now I do it everyday when I'm takin a dump.

In fact I'm about to do one now. Brb.

>There's sad enough to be a creep, and then there's sad enough not to have a worthy creep target.

Fixed.
Gay auto correct.
One three letter word.

My mom had a friend who's daughter was molested for years by her father. When I was 12 and the girl 9 they left me to watch her while they went shopping. Everything was normal until I went to check on her a second time. She was still playing dolls but she was now just in her underwear and the dolls were in sex positions. When I asked if she was ok she blindsided me by asking if I knew how to "sperm". I had recently discovered jerking off but I as still embarrassed about it so I said no. I wanted to walk out but she followed up real quick with "let me show you". My hormone filled head was curious so I said ok. She approached me pulled down my basketball shorts and underwear and put my dick right in her mouth. The feeling was overwhelming I could feel every little part she was touching in her mouth. She knew more about sex than me at this point. In what was probably two minutes I feel the familiar feeling building but this time it was far more intense than usual. While trying to hold back I can tell I can't and I just let my load go into her mouth. She swallowed then said "see that's how boys sperm" I told her thank you and she smiled. From then till she was 17 we would hook up and have sex often. Her mom found out when she was 13 but she wasn't upset( of course that when she thought it started) and just told us to be safe.

the hard-on wants what it wants. idk what to say.

I'm a closet bisexual. I constantly go on grindr, but then chicken out and don't actually do anything. I'm considering going on their and finally finding someone to fuck me tonight.

Gotta love suck the bottoms dick after I'm through fucking them. They moan more this way.

It sounds great to me, but I always get to nervous

I bind my dick and balls with swaths of cloth cut out of old shirts.

It started when I was back in school and I absolutely always got BONERS if my package swung too freely. Even tighty whiteys weren't enough confinement, and I would just get hard all the time and have to bite my had and hit myself to kill my stiffy before I could get up out of my desk to change classes.

So one day I heard about women breast binding to reduce the visibility of their chest bumps, and figured I'd try it out with my cock.

It worked marvelously, but it became a habit and I developed a complex about not wanting to show my bulge either, so I've kept doing it for 20 years or so.

I've never had any complaints or anything, but it's pretty amusing when I get sexual with a chick and she has a look of confusion and then pleasant surprise when I unbind and it turns out I have a normal sized cock instead of a microdick they were expecting due to not seeing a bulge

>i've posted this pic here several times
>tineye 0 results

i'm afraid of being an adult
>i've been one for 20 years

Eat chicken seasoning powder
I had eaten it since 8yo

Oh man, I used to nibble on beef or chicken boullian cubes when I was a kid.

It was great

you might just be salt deficient

I pee into gallon jugs so I don't have to use a bathroom at night. It's very hard for me to fall dack to sleep if I trudge to the bathroom and turn on the light. Sometimes I forget to empty a bottle I'm using and I gave to use the bathroom, in which case I pee in the shower.

Actually I've a problem with no salt food

I hooked up with a guy from craigslist tonight to give him a public bj. He took me to a park into the darker part, had me put my back to a tree and get down on my knees. I could see cars driving by on a road about 70 yards behind him.

...

I let him fuck m throat and he came pretty fast and a lot. Then we just walked out of the park like nothing happened .

Sometimes I jerk off on the internet for others to watch. I faked my death today to get away from my cunt wife.

kek

Just piss in the sink so you don't have to turn the light on you lazy fuck

Or sit

...

Neckbeard fantasy

Virgin detected

Projecting detected

Nigga you gay

I want to cum in my gf panties and make her wear them

I'm sorry but I've seen some girls really getting off on being submissive to discount this offhand.
Apparently it is really freeing

I am genuinely in love with Anne Frank. She was beautiful, witty, and graceful young woman whose light was snuffed out far too early.

I frequently fantasize about being Peter van Pels hiding with her.

Oh god, just imagine deflowering that sweet girl on a lazy Amsterdam afternoon, lying and learn what each other's bodies were for.

Now imagine nine months later, she's got a massive bulging stomach from carrying your child inside of her and it seems like she’s gonna pop any moment now. Her popped belly button makes it look like she's got a giant third boob where her stomach once was. She waddles around and can barely move half of the time. She's developed an insatiable craving for your dick and you've likewise developed a taste for her pussy. You’re both cooped up in an attic all day have nothing better to do besides fuck like an unsustainable third world population. You lie down on your back, she strips off her almost comically too small clothes and kneels on top of you. She grabs a hold of your rock hard cock, inserts it deep inside of her, and begins to ride you like a stallion. You feel the pressure from her incredible weight and huge round belly bearing down on you but the indescribable pleasure of her tight pussy throbbing on you cock negates any discomfort. You sink into her beautiful soul, into that secret place where no one dares to go. After 30 minutes, you and her are both moaning with ever greater intensity, you know it won't be long now. Suddenly, you feel your cock shaking like a V-2 rocket and the orgasm reaches it's climax as your cum literally explodes like an 88mm AT round inside her Sherman tank, blowing the turret right off. You and her both join as one, souls screaming from the sheer ecstasy. As the elation wears off, she lies next to you. Too exhausted to do anything else, you simply hold her in your embrace. In that moment, there is no family squabbles, no Nazis, no war. Just you and her, watching the sky turn pink with the setting sun.

You dream of the beautiful face you have found in this place. So soft and sweet.

One day you will both die and your ashes will fly from an aeroplane over the sea.
But for now you are young and all you want is lay in the sun, and count every beautiful thing you can see. Love to be in the arms of all you’re keeping here with you.

What a beautiful dream that could flash on the screen in a blink of an eye

Suddenly, you awaken from your slumber to the sound of a bloodcurdling scream. You open your eyes to darkness, it takes a split second for your vision to readjust. You feel lonely and cold. Another shriek knocks you back into reality. Anne sitting next to you, clutching her belly, face contorted from pain. A foul smelling fluid lies pooled on the floor around her mid-section. Your hot dirty fuckfest has brought on labor. she cries your name, begging for help, begging for you. The noise. She’s louder than a line of Louisiana Tigers giving the Rebel Yell right now. You raise your finger to your lips to tell her to be quiet. But the agony is too much for her to bear. You’ve got to do something or else it will awaken the entire neighborhood and with it, the Nazis. Suddenly you remember the bulge in your pants. You’ve got morning wood. It’s not the best gag, but it will have to do. You stand up, squat like a slav, using her belly as an impromptu stool, grab your still cum-crusted cock, and shove it right inside her mouth. At first, she tries to scream even louder in surprise, but your circumcised 100% Kosher dong blocks her windpipe, reducing her screams to a barely audible gurgle. Suffering from unbearable pain, she bites down on her your meat with each contraction. Now you’e in pain too. With each contraction, she bites down harder, it feels like she’s gonna tear your cock right off. Eventually, the pain subsides for her and she doesn’t bite down as much. Now it seems almost as if she’s starting to enjoy it. You can feel your child kick on your testicles. Clearly it’s excited too. Suddenly, your cock starts to shake like a V-2 again, you pull it out of her mouth just in time. You bust your steaming hot and sticky load, blanketing her like an incendiary carpetbombing of Dresden. Semen stains her mountaintops (all three of them), along with her hair and most of her face. She quietly giggles from the ironic amusement of it all. You giggle too

I can read people mind

Then a look of sharp pain shoot across her face. She’s having your baby. You wish you could bear all the pain for her, but all you can do is sit and watch. You look down at her vulva, still oozing with cum from that great fucking you gave her a few hours ago. You can see a head of black hair poking out. You fear that she’s gonna start screaming again, much to your relief, it seems that she’s gotten better control of the pain, thanks to you. She begins to softly moan, it seems as if instead of experiencing excruciating agony, she’s experiencing an orgasm. You can’t help but grin as she keeps pushing. As more of the head becomes visible, her moaning intensifies. Finally a small head emerges from her vagina. You can see a face wrapped in an umbilical cord. A small pair of hands grab the head, she weakly tries to pull the head out. You put your hands around the head and begin to help her pull. Desperately, she goes into the next contraction with all of her energy, and pushed with everything inside of her. She feels everything. She feels shoulders and hips and feet all slide down inside of her and pop out in one long push, with a rush of fluid behind it, and it feels amazing. She throws her head back with a rip-roaring orgasm that penetrates the very heart of her soul.

You look at the newborn now lying on the floor and see that it is a boy. You have a son. Perfect, perfect in every way. He begins to stir and you realize he’s about to cry. After all that’s happened, you don’t to given away to the Germans from the wails of a newborn. You gently lift him up and place him on Anne’s semen stained mountaintops. The baby quickly finds the breast is soon sucking happily. Semen, blood, amniotic fluid, breastmilk all mix and fill the air with a strange scent that while repulsive, is also extremely arousing. You can’t resist the urge anymore. Your mouth land on top of Anne’s opposite breast, sucking first your own cum, but then her tasty milk. You look into her eyes, she’s somewhat annoyed, but too exhaust to really care. A gust of wind coming from a hole in the wall blows through, cooling both of your sweat-drenched bodies, but also disturbing the little one. You’re afraid he’ll start shivering. You look around the dusty attic for something to keep the baby warm. You settle on Anne’s fur winter jacket, having sat unused for the past two years. You know Anne will definitely not be happy that you ruined her favorite coat, but it’s for the best. She hasn’t been able to fit in it for the past nine months anyway. You carefully wrap your little one in the coat and hand him to an exhausted Anne, she continues to quietly feed him. You notice the dead silence for the first time, not even the other occupants of the Annex, mere feet away in the next room, were roused. You feel a sense of relief. You’re safe, for the moment at least. Eventually you curl up next to her quietly and begin to doze off. Your secret sleeps in winter clothes. Tomorrow, you can find a way to explain the night’s events to your parents and hope they don’t kill each other. You can somehow find a way to get your little bundle of joy to safety. But tonight, you just rest, your first night as a family.

Oh god, just thinking about this is making me rock hard. The hardest I’ve ever gotten. Oh, I think I’m gonna… I’m gonna-

*Cums in Diary*

He probably does it because he doesn't respect you. Because he knows you're a paranoid fuckwit who invades other people's privacy. He'll probably continue to smoke weed in your house since you're too much of a pussy to give any real consequences for his actions.

I laughed at the Arianna grande explosion, until I discovered that she was unhurt. Now I am sad.

I Jack off with my daughter's panties and socks

C H E C K E D

Also, same

Interesting

Im a fag who kill animals such cats n dogs just for fun

Fuckin' edgy sperg

i download pepes and never contribute - feels good man