ITT: Were all on a plane

ITT: Were all on a plane.

And dillhole baggins just farted

*has an autistic crying child that wont shut the fuck up

a what?

and all of a sudden I wake up and I’m still in my shitty Fulham apartment. the end

I brought a little pig with me, so no muslims are gonna take us down.

ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!

cute as fuck

Ohh, flatulence is disgusting and these children need some discipline.


Excuse me madam, would you mind accompanying me to the bathroom next to the cockpit? Thanks.

Wow guys I can't wait to get home and operate on my patients tomorrow! I hope they figured out the overbooked issue they were having.

got some nice digits her boys

/thread

A couple towel heads walk on. We all get ready...

IS THIS NOW A GET THREAD???

that's exactly what this is

i just out the the very end and kill the AFKers. works everytime.
I then continue to work my way inward of the map just lurking on the outer edge of the zone.
I loot a few houses and find a SCAR and an M16.
I kill one guy as he drives by on a dune buggy.
The zone is closing faster and faster now. its just me and 18 others.
My heart beats faster...faster...
Im still alive.
zone shrikns again.. only 11 left now.
I run to the outer edge of the zone and hide in bush. fuck me! another guy is in bush too and shooots me,. top 10 finish #8/97

back to the lobby. I love you PLAYERUNKNOWNBATTLEGROUND

check em

*kicks seat infront of him*

*stop kicking faggot*

What am I supposed to do with this hot towel anyway

*leans all the way back*

*PA: Captain here, we have lost all 4 engines

>if you two children can't sit quietly, I will TURN this plane around!

i fuck my girlfriend in the isle for all to see, butt naked. i take a shit on her

"Stop kicking the chair, Im trying to watch the new Godzilla movie!"

BOMB!!!!!!!

MY DUBS CONFIRM.

The thread has been hijacked, this is now a get thread

...this mechanical CONTRAPTION SHOULDN'T BE FLIGHTING!

Wipe ass

the gets are unreal

PEANUTS!

GET YA HONEY ROASTED PEANUTS HERUH!

GET EM WHILE THEY'S HOT!

ALLAH

Hostess! I've burned my ass on this towel

the dubs tho

this is the pinnacle of anti-terror technology

Draxx them sklounst

im sick and tired of the god damned snakes on this god damned PLANE!

toss me a bag user!

Fuck, those peanuts are like 5 dollars a pack, damn thieves. *hands over money*

Reddit tier post

*stands up from window seat as soon as the plane lands*

Lads what's that ticking sound?

Anyone want some chips?

hey guys this gonna be too much luggage to lift off

Everytime Im on a plane I struggle with those nuts actually

ALLAHU SNACKBAR

>hears loud shout from the back of the plane
>ALLAHU ACKBAR!!!
>plane suddenly depressurises
>there is a huge fucking hole in the fuselage
>shit's blowing everywhere
>one towel head sand nigger's towel flies past my face and out of the hole
>"now what are we going to do Sup Forumsros?"

Hey, I think you're in my seat. Also my wife and our toddler triplets is gonna need to sit right here.

AIGHT HERES SOME FRESH NUTS COMINS YA WAY
*whoosh*

THIS ONES GONNA BE A CURVE BALL HOPE YOUVE GOT HANDS LITTLE FELLA
*zipzopboopity wooowooowhoosh*

PLEASURE DOIN BUSINESS WITH YAS

*starts clapping like a retarded seal as soon as the plane lands*

Hello, this is your pilot.
Welcome to United Airlines
We need someone to leave since we are overbooked
We can offer 500€ or some kicks in the face, but somoene must leave.

Thanks you and happy flying!

*stays in toilet for the entire flight to avoid socializing with strangers

DONT KNOW WHY I HANDED THAT OTHER GUY TWO SACKs A NUTS BUT HERES YOURS

*zoom*

Hey man you gonna be in there long? My gf and I wanna bang, dude

Those bags are made of adamantium and Kanye West's ego; completely indestructible.

Thanks for the nuts!
and
>From the flight deck, this is your Captain speaking.
>Drinks up here are free, but we have to do this on a rotational system
>and try not to make the plane tip as you rotate in and out for drinks.

*claps*
Hey guys I'm from Europe

*slides a package of peanuts under the door*

AYYYYY FORGETABOUTIT

> ALOHA SNACKBAR

i like to burn things

>whisper in some dudes ears
hey u wanna join the mile high club?

Done, next?

Well, guess I'm gonna start popping off stowbins and playing bathroom peekaboo

Anyone up for a campaign

Omg yes

*Walks in*
>Hah
*Walks out*

*Liam Neeson gets up from multiple seats in the cabin and stops all terrorist threats.*
*This move is irreversible*

Looks like we have an open east on the right or on the left if you promise to behave.

ALLAN SNACKBAR YALALALALALA

This good enough to get me onboard? Also, where da white wimmins seated?

meanwhile behind my seat
some idiot let off some firecrackers

Poster above me is to my left
Poster below me is to my right

Both are morbidly obese and stink like shit and BO. Please fucking kill me.

>close eyes
>tilt head back
>reach into pocket
>"praise allah"

I'm sorry sir, but we are overbooked

hmm,,...guys the right wing is on fire...

The flight attendant just intimated that I could lick her pussy. (True Story)

these fucking kiddos give me a hell of a headache

...

I'm fucking the flight attendant in the rear bathroom. Door status: occupied. Brb.

Yeah... I don't fly coach.

*Engine noise which is slightly too loud so you have to talk at a higher volume than usual*

*stewardess comes by and asks you what you would like to drink but you don't understand shit because you are flying with Lufthansa and she is speaking German*

*You want to ask for an apple juice but you don't know what that is in german so you just say "cola" desperately trying to pronounce it as German as possible saying "Kholah".*

*You are served a pleasantly cold coca cola which is not really coca cola but some german variant of it, in addition to this you get a surprisingly delicious sandwich with mustard, salami and pickles which are only slightly salty*

*You eat and try to connect to the Wi-Fi but you realise it is paid so you just play some shitty game on your phone*

*Your ears are hurting and you feel so tired for no reason you fall asleep while you are flying somewhere across northern Austria*

*It Is still going to take a while until you arrive at your desyination*

what you need is some music dude

please let the 8 hours be over

Could be worse man KLM just weren't funny sometimes

I hope it's not Germanwings

one more song and i do it

BOMB!

...

The other pilots where caught being gay so here's your surrogate

"WHY ARE THE BOOZE BOTTLES SO FUCKING SMALL?!"

Aw, shit. Good thing I chose the one without a bulge in her panties.

meanwhile in the radar station

That would never happen on easy jet

finally a solution to watch nsfw on plane

The flight plan I just filed with the agency lists me, my men, Dr. Pavel here but only one of you! First one to get dubs gets to stay on my aircraft

I might have had a little bit too much...*drool*

>be flight attendant and roll cart down isle humming shadilay

Is this a log of shit on the left?

It's one of my men

actually im out of here