I am a user suffering from depression. I really don't know what I am doing anymore. I have lost all control of my life. I feel like I cant stop my life, because its on repeat, all the goddamn time, if that makes any sense. I feel like I will die, and no one would care about me. Not even my friends.
I hate my family, I really do. I only like my friends, and those friends are only online. I only have online friends. They say I am pathetic for having such friends, because I have never met them, and only heard their voices and saw their faces on Instagram and Snapchat. It really fucking hurts.
I role-play on a role-playing server on Garry's Mod, which the server I won't name for privacy reasons. It's a serious role-playing server with serious themes, characters, etc.
I know a friend on there, and she has been really nice to me. She talks to me, and she treats me with upmost respect then any person in the world would ever treat me. When she talks to me, I feel warm, as if she were actually there giving me a hug. I also know another guy, and he is really nice to me. Like, a brother to me.
Is this weird? I love those individuals more than anything, and I don't want to leave them behind by killing myself, yet I really want to die...
Stay, your life is worth living. Just because they're your online friends and people say that they aren't real friends, it doesnt mean that. My best friend I met online, people told me the same, and y'know what, it doesnt matter, because I know that we both care for each other, and when I did meet up with him for the first time, it was great. user, you have to stay, because your life is valuable, and I promise, it gets a lot better, speaking from experience
Joshua Watson
You just have to go outside. If you just feel bad at home, why not feel bad outside, where you can even have possibilities to socialize?
Ethan Allen
user, the thing is, everyone is mean to me. My online friends treat me as if I had been there friend since kindergarten..
Jackson Wright
I don't think a user has made me cry this hard before....
Andrew Myers
Look, I know it's hard now, trust me I do, but a permanent solution isn't the answer to a pain that is temporary. Trust me, I've been suicidal before, I had the noose around my neck, and I stopped because I knew that even just one person cared about me so much, you have 2, stay for them, I know it's hard, but it will be much harder for them if you go.
Logan Moore
I don't know if this helps but here it is op.
I struggle with depression and alcoholism. I have the best job in the world and i never want for anything. Everytime i get home though it's back in the bottle and running it through my head how i will hang myself or finally but a pistol to blow my brains out.
This being said it can get better. I've been diagnosed as an alcoholic for 15 years and only recently have they decided that i am bipolar and probably suffer from some ptsd that i self medicate. I am working on that and trying to fix it the best i can. It has been a long process, but if you sell the help you may find answers and relief.
Love ya user....so do many others even if you don't realize it.
Don't go out by your own hand.....the reaper will cone when he is ready.
John Robinson
Go meet them, Ask them to meet you somewhere. There are plenty of people on this planet with friends in different countries.. or states/provinces etc. Ever heard of pen pals? They rarely ever meet. Doesnt mean that people writing are pathetic.
From: Anonymous penpal
Parker Wright
Buy opioids of the darknet
Camden Richardson
I feel like they don't really like me either...
I love them, bottom of my heart, and I have no clue how to tell them that, without coming off as a red flagish cunt.
Thanks, user...I feel a little better...
I am afraid to meet any of them. I don't think I am physically and mentally ready...
Austin Kelly
If serious. Go get professional help. When you feel like this for a long time you can't get out of it just by yourself. You need help and even medication for depression. If you have no idea where to get help google for "Suicide hotline". I don`t know where you are from, but all the countries I know of have such a hotline. There you can talk to trained people who can refer you to doctors and such.
Aiden Ward
Just say that you really do care about them, and that you're thankful that they're your friend
I am scared what my family (Who I hate) will say...
I might do that....
This is myself...
Anthony Peterson
I all seriousness user, don't do it. Can I ask how old you are?
Jose Harris
Just do it, tell them now, tell them that you care about them and that they're a great friend
Christian Mitchell
If you have to suffer just suffer outside, I'm in a similar situation and I prefer suffering out there, where you can slowly improve your situation,meet people and maybe make a new friend.
Angel Walker
Lets keep that private for now...
Sup Forums was made to be anonymous, so lets keep that way...
Adam Robinson
Tonight. I will, probably...
William Butler
No, you have to do it now, prove that you care enough to stay for them
Jaxon Murphy
>I am scared what my family (Who I hate) will say... If you hate them so much why do you even care? Also it should be your last problem what your family thinks if you have suicidal thoughts. Just call the hotline, it`s anonymous. You asked what to and this is what you should do. At this point everything is better than just sitting around and doing nothing.
Gavin Williams
>35yr old living in his moms basement roleplaying I see how it is
Kayden Brooks
To be fair, saying your age doesn't harm you anonymity, but if you don't want to it's your choice.
But regardless, don't do it. It always gets better, and I know that's a cliché, but it's correct.
Jacob Walker
Now this tard might want to try it. Too bad it's alwahs the wrong ones falling to depression and going suicidal. I don't have much experience with depression and suicidal thoughts that much. I only tried to kill myself once but I stopped in the process, I thought about my entire life and how it can actually get a lot better if I keep at it, show the world you are strong, and if not the world, at least to yourself cause the most important person to you should be yourself and not someone else
Jace Davis
They are offline. I will do it later. Family is scares me. I don't want them to be mad if I die. That made me chuckle a little...thank you for cheering me up a bit...
Austin Sanders
haha, yea it's just a joke right haha...
Camden Lopez
Let me guess. Your "depression" is self diagnosed. You got curious one night and googled "why am I sad", read the symptoms, kinda sorta felt like you might feel a bit like that.
>depression.JPEG >get to be special now >tell everyone you're suffering from depression >never got diagnosis from professionals
Christian Ortiz
Again, get professional help. Everything else doesn't matter right now.
David Cox
Think it this way, you can always check out, but it's a one time move, why not trying your best to change things? you might get to the point when the sole idea will sound crazy.
Alexander Rodriguez
Proffesionals can be wrong quite a bit. That's why they have malpractice insurance you fucking genius
Jaxon James
It's not like he is trying to prove that he has depression, this guy has suicidal thoughts and that's enough to just need some help. Oh wait, you gotta get diagnosed for that too?
OP here. There is a difference between "attention" and "advice."
I am looking for the 2nd one...
Jacob Martinez
>Is this weird? I love those individuals more than anything, and I don't want to leave them behind by killing myself, yet I really want to die... >What do I do?
Simple get drunk and hire a whore Result: Happiness for a week
Brandon Ramirez
It's not as common as you're pretending you fucking autist, go back to your fucking trap thread
He's on a public forum talking about how sad he is and wants to kill himself. Take it from somebody who's dealt with this shit for a lifetime, the truly depressed suffer in silence. The strong ones talk themselves off the edge, the weak do it quietly, suddenly, and alone. It's part of the disorder. If they're lucky, they find ways to manage it like I have, if they're not, they talk themselves off the edge daily, but what they don't do is go attention seeking on Sup Forums
Andrew Howard
Hmmmmm the game
Henry Miller
Hmmmmmmmm the game
Henry Carter
Stop role playing and get your life together
Hudson Hernandez
Do it, you'd be in for one hell of an adventure, probably even more of an adventure than what you can do in Garry's Mod. Do something real in your life and let it test you. It sounds like you have nothing to lose anyway.
Ryder Sanders
Stop contemplating suicide and do it always u fag nut i respect those brave enough to actually get it done with a nice and painless method. Get ur hands on some good heroin and snort the whole bag you wont feel a thing and you will get the job done. Good luck
Mason Phillips
Watch out now we got an expert at all things mental here.
Dr. Dickweed is at our service.
Julian Rivera
Hi OP user, i was in similar situation a year ago. i was alone, i had no friends. just a few online friends. i got up from bed, walk to school. get back and sleep or cut myself. long story short.... i fell in love with one girl. she sent me a text, we started talking about music and other stuff. we liked same music, films, wear same clothes... and later she told me that she is depressed. ..... few months later i told her that i love her. next day i told her what i feel and that she saved my life, i wanted to kill myself but she told me that someone loves me (she) and that i dont do it. .... now we are in relationship for 6 months and all problems that we had(self harm, depression, anxiety...) all gone away.
user, i hope that you feel better and it will be better, no mater what. much love bro!
Christian Sullivan
Thats okay, just like you're not ready to meet them yet. Doesnt mean that you wont. Hold that thought in your head. Granted they might feel the same way. Dont be afraid to dabble in new things as long as it doesnt kill people. Im sure your friends would wanna see you. Even if it is skype or something.
Luke Cook
This thread is pretty gay i dont like it when people comfort others with petty words
Benjamin Smith
Not claiming to be an expert dumbass, but my diagnosis was professionally administered in 2001 before or was popular to collect mental illness. I was medicated against my will for 3 years and forced to make monthly visits to speak with psychologists until I was 18 and could make the legal decision for myself to stop seeing them.
So no, not an expert, but if you have ever fucking been through it you know how to pick out the sad attention grab from the actual clinically depressed
Luke Rodriguez
then you decided that the best thing you can possible do is to come her and get some love without tits?
You know everything get better if you think you are the middle of the universe
Nathaniel Thomas
Horrible way to die, summer..
Jayden Thompson
I hole-hardedly agree, but allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go. Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
Camden Wilson
Girls parts don't interest me anymore.
I only care about their feelings and character.
Xavier Clark
We've got another pseudo intellectual in the thread everyone, be careful!
Owen Baker
Kek
Henry Lee
thats a lie! your standart is so high that it feel low
Kevin Campbell
How real are watches at $ 0?
Anthony Rivera
Best way to deal with depression is with a tumbler full of whiskey. Scotch prefferably none of that bourbon piss
Josiah Richardson
...
Lincoln Wright
Dying is not supposed to look pretty, people who naturally die by old age also go out in horrible ways a lot of times
But if you can choose some ways are better to go than others
Cooper Brooks
Tldr
Nathan Cooper
Because every mental illness and its symptoms and the way people reach out is a bunch of bullshit unless it fits exactly what you went through.
Get the fuck out of here. They should have taken you to an abortion clinic instead of the nut house nigger
Matthew Barnes
Impossible.
Girls bodies, as much as I do like looking at them, don't get me wrong, I could care less about them.
I would rather have an ugly girl, who is flat chested, flat assed, and had a pussy that smelled like a fish who was nice to me, than the hottest fucking girl in all of the human world.
(btw I do have a boundary. Not like Honey Boo Boos mom...)
Benjamin Rivera
Yeah but an OD on herion isnt better than much you penis.
Logan Hughes
>people who naturally die by old age also go out in horrible ways a lot of times
>Also
Retard.
Levi Cruz
I didnt understand exactly what u said but an od on H is pretty painless you would be doped the fuck out of ur mind to feel anything
Brayden Peterson
An overdose on heroin is supposedly painless, just like falling asleep and not waking up, sound better than dying of cancer or slowly dying with alzheimers
Charles Murphy
Thank you for all the support, guys, I really do.
I am going to take all this advice, and use it for the better good.
I am also abandoning the thread, so post about you want related to the thread.
Aiden Lee
that was ruthless.
OP just needs to get laid
Wyatt Young
OP back for one more reply, thats it.
I dont want laid. I want love, and a hug, and a kiss from someone who cares...
ok cya
Parker Adams
rse the experience of a near death by OD is going to be rosy colored compared to the aftermath of actual death. standard format seems to be unconsciousness, respiration stops, heart stops. aspiration of vomit can also occur. the blood in the vomit could have been from the forcefulness of the vomiting or from regular vomiting. i do not recall the feeling before becoming unconscious on heroin to be pleasant, but more of an "oh fuck." not a horrible oh fuck, however...i'd assume that's what the start of death from OD feels like.
James Collins
Realize that life is suffering, and all pain is self causal, be aware of the fact that every bad feeling and every pain you have, is not caused by outside sources, but yourself. Once you realize this, it may help you cope with your depression.
All negative things are negative because your body and mind say they are. Look at everything for what it really is.
Andrew Morris
What good is that to anyone?
Elijah Murphy
Inb4 a 15 year old says "just get some high qual weed dude" or am I too late? Didn't read the whole thread.
Good luck OP
Brandon Watson
He's right man, death by old age usually isn't pretty, sorry for having to let you in on that little fact, very rarely people "die in their sleep" that's why when I'm older I'll try to obtain Nembutal for a peaceful exit when I'm ready to go.
