Cow Fucker user here. Will tell stories if interested

Cow Fucker user here. Will tell stories if interested.

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iwatchitfortheplot.romesilvanus.io/Zoo/Videos/Canine » Dog » Bitch and Men/
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dont

Yes!

Does your dick smell like beef afterward?

don't you dare bring my mother into this

Greentext plox

Do it cowfucker.

What other animals?

any videos or pics?

Yasssss tell us bump this shit

You ever do anything with the udders?

Its rare to come across a cow fucker. I bet you've got a small dick, medium at best. Well done, You officially are a total embarrassment to your family.

interesting, i've only ever tried dog. i wonder how it compares

have you let the cow lick your dick?
What does it feel like?

Pics or it never fucking happened

Already told you my first time in the other thread, got the UTI, put me off cow pussy for about a month. Remember how good that nut felt.

>hot August day
>owner tells us we are doing a half day of fencing cuZ of the heat and a fucked up Bobcat
>he heads off with his family to go to pool (his house is a mile away from the farm)
>me and another farm hand (late 40's) stay back at the farm, crack a few beers and put out feed.
>start talking about nudie calendar on wall of milk house where we keep medicines and papers and stuff
>joking about jacking off to one of the bustier girls, looks like one of the mixed girls that works at the feed store.

Will continue, posting on phone

>Only tried dog.

Eh. Cows aren't my thing. I'm more of a Horse / Zebra / Siberian Husky / Golden Retriever guy

Record yourself fucking the cow.
Or any animal desu

Probably feels like sex with a cow.

Continue

>farm hand put two and two together after I had the fire pisses
>13 year old girls aren't putting out in my town, so I either got a dirty dick from an animal or from one of the older lady lizards hangin around the church bar
>had pulled me aside a week or two earlier to call me out
>said I had to be smart and use condoms
Anyways
>still joking about the calendar girl and taking turns jerking off to her behind the silo
>he takes the calender off the wall tells me to follow him
>get in the truck and get the cow in the cattle run
>closes the gates on her, leaves the back gate open, hangs the calendar on the front gate.
>explains to me that he uses the cow like a fleshlight, fucks it while he looks at porn
>pulls out a condom, shows me how to get the cow excited, and make sure it shits before you square up.
>I've fingered a couple girls in town, but cows are different.

Sorry trips, I haven't lived on a farm for over 8 years.

/thread

555r

>>fingered a couple girls in town, but cows are different.
top fucking kek

so Emperor what do you plan to do about the Skyrim Rebellion?

well more accurately, ive only been with dogs (besides my wife)

"tried" makes it sound like it was a one time deal, but i do it quite often. monday was the last time, might do it again sometime this weekend

>get cow wet, he lubes up, pumps for a few minutes, hnnnnng's, and pulls out
>tosses me a condom, I put it on and line up
>cow is into it now, tail is pulled to the side, hips are clenched
>I don't last more than a minute and a half before I fill up the condom.
>we open the gate, put the calendar back on the wall, and got drunk

This started a weekly tradition, we'd do it once ir twice a week. He lived on the property, and I had a shack there that I would stay in a few nights a week so I didn't have to go back to my moms house before work the next day.

The calves can give blowjobs, cuZ they suckle on udders. I prefer human woman blowjobs, feels better and less chance of losing your pecker.

im more of a squirrel guy

Bump

more

Green text takes to long

When I was about 15, I had had a lot of practice on the cows by that time.
But, girls are finally starting to put out more, start chatting with the girls at the feed store, church, etc.
I don't get into town as often as the kids that live there, but have decent success with the farmers daughters, etc.
mainly end up making out with girls, getting some handjobs, but girls think I'm pretty cool cuz I don't make a huge deal about blue balls.
My secret is, if I get blue balled, I end the date early, retreat back to my fortress of solitude and pump a load into Kelly (oldest cow stays in the stable by the cattle run)
Also helps to have a big pussy to practice fingering on, so not completely retarded when it comes to pleasing girls. If only they knew where these hands had beenZ

After a while, not getting any pussy from girls gets boring, start asking them if I can maybe put it in their rear hole.
Most of them are pretty disgusted by this, not a huge turn on.
I'm frustrated by this, start fixating on how to get that girl butt.
After awhile of pounding my sexual frustrations into Kelly, realize that she is a girl, and she has a butt...

My stamina is pretty good at this point, can pound away for about 15 min before I cum.
Since I'm getting bored, decide I'm gonna rubber up, ignore the shit, and fuck Kelly's ass.
At first, Kelly hates it, but I used a silicone lube, and then she doesn't give a fuck.
Hole is different than pussy, much tighter.
Cum in like two minutes from the tightness.
Minimal shit on condom, but enough to put me off anal except for special occasions.
Girls in town breathe a sigh of relief, thinking their rectal integrity is safe.

>fucks cows
>cant greentext
>gets dubs
>fucks cows

>cow is into it now

This will not hold up in court.

Look, in today's PC gone wild culture, we can't expand the parameters of rape. If the cow wanted me to stop, all she had to say was "No".

Touch the cow. Do it now.

Again, I don't live there anymore. I live like 40 miles from the nearest cow.

>I've fingered a couple girls in town, but cows are different.

>Gets Dubs twice
> fucks more cows.

Start to go steady with a girl we will call Rachel
Lots of making out, fingering, handjobs
Says she wants to give me a blowjob but we have a hard time finding times and places
We used to hook up by the corn stove at her place, but she burned an ass cheek on it. Also, her dad hates me and chased me off his piece with a tire beater, threatened to put a load of rock salt in me if he caught me on his piece again.
Mom is always drunk or high, doesn't give a shit about me hooking up with girls at her place, but will probably scare Rachel off.
Decide to take her to my shack at the farm
Things go well, we drink a bottle of apple pie I made out of white lightning and cider
We fuck around the farm, she lives in town, thinks being around the animals is cool
Go by Kelly, drunken giggles from Rachel when the cow backs her pussy against the fence for me
"Wow user, she must really like you!"
Kek
Rachel leans into my ear and offers to do the same thing
Kelly just wing manned me with her cow puss
Got first blowjob and first human pussy in my shack on the farm
Come out afterwards while Rachel is asleep to pet Kelly and thank her.
She smells the sex on me and moves away from me
>jealous bitch.

is this it? I want more!

How many times did you lose your pecker to a calf?

W-whats wrong user-kun?
C-could you be craving my mcTitties?

0. Got real tight on corn whiskey with that same pig farmer, we wanted to show me how calls could give blowjobs
>sure, whatever
Let it suck me for a few minutes, didn't feel that good, pulled out and zipped up. Owner gave the calf a carrot, it crunched through that ducker with no effort. Never stuck my dick near it again.

What do you want to hear? I've barebacked cows, done anal with them, DP'd a cow, fucked horses, sheep.

>DP'd a cow
wut

You voted for Trump, didn't you?

double penis detected

Tell us about sheep?

It was lame, basically a stepladder and a face full of man ass. We both wanted to bareback the cow, neither wanted sloppy seconds, and we decided if we went at the same time, it would take like 10 min instead of 30 min with cleanup. So he mounted her ass, one foot on either side of her on a stepladder. I got her pussy. Basically fucked her while staring at another dudes balls and asshole. Lame.

I've typed up the story of almost getting caught twice, and both times my browser crashed. Fuck it, drop kiks, I'll do a kik group if you wanna hear that story.

kek, thx for sharing

Tell us about sheep

Even worse, didn't vote. His daughter Ivanka is hot though.

Sure. Those are the best pussies but harder to fuck. Have a kik?

Add me in the group : bta1619015

what kind of dog?

how do you get it going?

and tips/tricks?

Mostly meat farming around me, but the town had a lot of Swiss/German culture, so some sheep for the local Stube food. The owner raised a couple for specialty mutton etc. basically figured a sheep would be easier to control than a giant cow, but harder to fuck because they lived in between the farm and the owner's house. Me and the farmhand were up around the fire one night, had a couple drinks, discussed the possibility of fucking one of the sheep. We decided we would take his truck with the lights off to the sheep pen. We would take spotlights and rifles, and if the owner saw any movement, we could say we had seen some coyotes and we're waiting to shoot them.

fpbp

/thread

>mixed girls
get a life

kek

We came up the other side of the hill, killed the truck's engine and coasted down to the sheep pen. It was pretty hard to wrangle a sheep in the dark, but we did it and got it behind the truck. Basically, one dude held it down while the other one fucked it. Sheep are pretty tight, so you actually have to stroke them and get them horny before you stick it in. They are the most like human girls. The pussy was mind blowing. So wet and tight and it kind of gripped you and throbbed. If you could get a sheep pussy on a human girl, that would be heaven.

Do you think bestiality should be legal (>inb4 no, white men shouldn't fuck black "women")? Why or why not (maybe you have an argument/point to make based on your experience)?

One mixed girl in a town full of white people is noticeable. I'm a cow fucker and I still find you detestable.

>I'm a cow fucker and I still find you detestable
kek

Idk, I feel like it doesn't matter if it's legal or not. Anybody who likes to do it is gonna do it anyways. If you make it legal, that just means there is more exposure on mainstream porn sites, or some idiot tumblrina is gonna marry her cat and fuck it to death. Also, I don't want it to be legal for a guy to fuck a hamster to death or something, or people chasing down ducks in parks, or stealing people's dogs to fuck.

>jealous bitch

OP, you card.

german shepherd.

it's really not hard. you just need an intact dog. once you show them that sex feels good, most of them get really into it

>I feel like it doesn't matter if it's legal or not
It seems that whenever I hear this, it usually means "I think it should be legal (but I don't mind if it's not)"
Anyways, right on. You seem like a sane, level-headed person despite your extracurricular activities. Always good to know there are those with sense in groups often portrayed as senseless

no problem fitting into a tight dog pussy?

nope, dogs have similar sized cocks to us, so it's not much of an issue for larger breeds.
a lot of times you have to use lube though, since bitches can be kinda dry when you're first starting out. so either use lots of lube, or eat her out first

If you can wait, I can type out the time I got busted:

underrated post

go a head

>having makeup sex with Kelly
>I had called her stupid earlier that morning
>take off condom, gonna breed her
>see flash of windshield through cracks in her stall
>owner's truck coming up road
>fuuuuuuuuuck

>horses
Talk about them

There is a generalized belief that the people who voted for Trump all consort with farm animals. At least we now know that the reverse is not automatically true.

For what it's worth, Gore Vidal wrote "not voting at all makes the most sense". He had this theory that abstentionism in sufficient quantity should trigger a new Constitutional convention.

chek'd keep going

>hop off bucket, pull up overalls
>kick bucket in corner
>walkout as smooth as butter as owner gets out of truck
>waddup.jpg
>owner goes into milkhouse for papers and sodas he left behind
>comes back, asks me what's up with Kelly since he saw me coming out of her stall
>make up bullshit about we should make a vet appt, her eyes are fucked
>we go check out her eyes, owner agrees
>I walk weirdly in his way to block the sight of her pussy leaking grool

In my country if less than the 20% doesn't vote, there is a new election with new candidates. It has never happened tho.

>we go check out her eyes
she has lust in them or what? kek

It's been known to happen.
iwatchitfortheplot.romesilvanus.io/Zoo/Videos/Canine » Dog » Bitch and Men/

>make it ousside, think I'm safe
>he's about to get in his truck
>he stops, looks weirdly at me , kinda puzzled
>he looks around then shakes his head
>what's up boss?
>he chuckles "just getting old user"
>he pulls his truck around, leans out the window, winks and says "say hi to Rachel for me"
>have no clue what he means
>too agitated from his weird look to go finish with Kelly
>does he know?
>5 min later discover that bright blue condom is hanging out the side of my overalls
>suddenly it clicks
>owner thinks I was banging gf when he pulled up, thinks he interrupted and that I hid Rachel somewhere
>I Kek and go blow my load in Kelly.

>It has never happened
Not that anyone has admitted to, at least.

keked

The time I was rumored to be a cow fucker

>flirting with feed store girl
>ugly wigger townie kid rolls up on heelies (no, really)
>jealous that the qt is mirin
>starts to try to insult me
>calls me a dumb hick in front of the girl
>I ask him, because I'm a dumb hick, what the FUBU stands for on his clothes
>he spouts some shit about rappers or some such niggertry, it stands for For Us By Us
>who is us?
>"black people you hick!"
>son, when you are black, I will come tell you
>feed store girl laughs at this, I smirk
>wigger is pissed

You from Tyne and Wear?

just got to through reading this entire thread. Much enjoyed. Thanks user

>wigger goes red in the face
>asks me why I came into town off my farm
>don't I have cow shit to shovel?
>don't care what he says, my employer is responsible for a lot of money in a lot of folks pockets
>say goodbye to qt, done with wigger's shit
>say "see ya, shithead" to wigger
>he says "back to your herd, cowboy, you prolly fuck those cows"
>something in me snaps
>I push him on the ground, tell him to watch his damn mouth or I'll kick his teeth in
>wigger sees in my eyes that I'm not playing
>qt notices how upset I am
>things start to click for those present
>but my beautiful queen Kelly has been disrespected
>people notice how sensitive I am about being called a cow fucker

>queen Kelly
Sup Forums has a new candidate. Udders or it didn't happen.

but did you ever got caught?

>I leave feed store in a rage
>rumors start to go around town that I am a cow fucker
>people laugh and whisper
>qt eventually straightens out what went down and the rumors die
>damage has been done
>wigger continues to shout "cow fucker" at me from a distance
>one day see him riding a bike by the lumber yard
>I give him a tap with the truck, he flies over his handlebars
>I get out of the truck and ask wigger to call me a cow fucker
>having just learned a lesson, a slightly smarter wigger declines to insult me.
>I go back to the farm and fuck Kelly for comfort

This was around 10 years ago, before everyone has a smartphone, and 15 year old farmhands didn't have camera phones.

c o w f u c k e r

Trained my dog since a baby or tried shes not that big. Recently moved away so i dont know how she will be when i get back but i could get about an inch in before i stopped didnt wanna hurt her. she loves it tho always laps my cum up

I've grown user. I haven't touched an animal like that in years. I have a girlfriend, I live in the third most populous city in the States. And more importantly, your words cannot turn what Kelly and I had into something cheap and Tawdry.