ITT times when we were alpha as fuck, I'll start
>be me
>15yo sister in her room dancing to Miley Cyrus songs
>go in there, tell her to shut the fuck up
>she turns volume up and keeps on dancing
>I punch her really hard in the tit
>she starts crying immediately
>I unplug her speakers
>eject CD and throw it across room
>tell her I hope she gets tit cancer
>back to my room
>play My Chemical Romance really loud
>alpha as fuck
Wew lad. I hope i never rustle your jimmies IN REAL LIFE
Heres one of my most Alpha Moments;
>my mum is all like "do you have homework?"
>I'm all like "er, nooo"
But i said it in a really cool way
...
TEACH ME HOW TO BE THAT ALPHA WOW
>Mom putting clothes in my closte cus im a lazy piece of shit
>Starts annoying me for school
>Walk up to get some water and say "Just shut up"
>Alpha as fuck
>Sudenly turns 540 degres and stockton slaps me
>Mwf zeta as fuck
>playing WoW
>really need to pee
>run to bathroom
>start peeing
>cropspray errywhere
>run back to computer
>mom goes in bathroom
>shouts at me for peeing on floor, tells me to wipe it up
>I say no I'm busy
>bitch
>she mops up my pee
>I'm a level 72 druid
>I got epic items
>alpha as fuck
>saw a kid crying
>triggered me to start crying
>phoned my parents and told them why I was crying
>they began crying
Feels :(
Now I'm fucking crying but really REALLY salty alpha tears so its all cool
haha. you're a faggot and so are your parents
>be stroking neighbor's cat
>fucking bitch animal scratches me
>kick the little fucker
>run inside
>see neighbor later
>she tells me they had to have the cat euthanized
>thinks a car hit it
>lol fatality
>flawless victory
>alpha
>as
>fuck
Think theres a greentext for this somewhere
>mom be giving me a lift to the mall
>I'm eating a bacon roll in the car
>we take a detour through Jew Town
>girl waiting at bus stop outside kike elementary school
>I flick a piece of bacon gristle at her
>alpha as all fuck
>Be me 11
>First day in new school
>School bully 2 years older than me walks up to me talking shit
>Spit in his face
>teacher's break fight up right after said spit
>bully says he's gonna kill me
>on way home from school
>Ohshit.jpg the fuck am I gonna do tomorrow
>meet my older brother's friend (who goes to a different school) on my schoolyard and talk to him for a while
>next day back at school
>school bully walks up to me and asks forgiveness and wants to shake hands and forget what happened day before
>"Ok dude no worries see ya round"
>turns out older brother's friend was neighbourhood tough guy nobody messed with
you stupid fucking cunt
>be me
>be alpha
>still visiting this board sometimes for the keks
>the end
>Be me
>Walking around in local nature park last summer
>Walking around some flowers
>Walk into yellow jacket wasp
>Ofuck.jpg
>Stings me
>first time getting stung ever
>Smash it with my hand as it stings me
>hurts like a bitch and smashing it cause stinger to stay inside me
>Go to nature park's guest house because my leg hurts too much to drive home
>They give me ice and tell me how to get the stinger out and something to prop my leg on
>15 minutes walk out of there like nothing ever happened
>Alpha af
you stupid fucking cunt
>be me
>tell a girl I have had crush on her since day one
>unfriend her on fb
>delete all messages
>be beta virgin fag
I know
...
>Bacon my only weakness
>Sup Forums
>alpha
what
>go on Sup Forums
>masturbate over trap thread
>dress up in sister's clothes when she's not home
>make thread about being alpha as fuck
>hate my life
OP pls
>be me
>5 y/o
>at convenience store with mom
>find some pokemon sticker book which has all 151 pokemon including mew on it
>costs 2 dollars
>whine to mom to buy it for me the whole hour we're in the store
>says she will only buy it if i agree to pay her back and stop whining
>agree to her terms
>never pay her back the 2 dollars i owed her
>alpha as fuck
>two guys following my brother in traffic
>he calls me and tells me he's about to pull up
>run out of the house with shotgun
>put it in fag boys face
>he nearly shits himself, apologizes and leave
>tell him I will kill him if I ever see him again