Tell us a joke, user!

Tell us a joke, user!

womens rights

Why did the man throw the clock out of the window?

Because it reminded him of Richard Clock, the man convicted of knife raping his wife to death.

knock knock

We heard you're really funny!

Best train ever

Why are you so quiet?

im hrony

...

C'mon user! We're waiting...

fuck you

My life

I can already feel my hyperhydrosis and rosacea activating

/thread

your penis

>Ctrl+Alt+Delete
>Task Manager
>Look for 'System' or 'System 32'
>Delete
>???
>Profit

Maybe if we get a bit more comfortable, so will you.

Does this help?

y-you t-t-too...

Why is your face getting all red user? Tell us that joke already!

Yeah user! Let's hear a good one!

shut the fuck up you cunts, and make me a fucking sandwich while i turn on the video game

>oh god, they keep leaving
>I'm only down to 5 now
>ahhhhgg!!!1!
>I need to come up with something
>what would Sup Forums do?
S-so... uhh...
Did you see that one with the banana?

Alright here comes the joke! We're ready!

why is 6 afraid of 7?

kek
now this is getting good
should have posted in ebonics tho

If you don't tell these girls a joke first, I will user!

Statutory rape

>>hah

Why are pills white? Cause they work

...

Oh my god! He's finally telling it!

How much spaghetti can this user hold in his pockets?

"how much, user?"

None...

>What joke? The fuck are you ugly cunts looking at? I need a dick to suck asap

shit user. that was your joke? wow loser

...

norm?

>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>brap

What did you expect, a comedy routine?
Who do I look like to you, Donald Trump?

the one on the far left digged it

Why did the scarecrow win the award?

BECAUSE HE WAS OUTSTANDING IN HIS FIELD.

Are we too young for the joke you're going to tell, user?

Rene Descartes walks into a bar. Bartender asks him if he would like something to drink. Descartes says "I think not" and ceases to exist.

What do you call an islamic woman with an opinion?
Who cares, you'll stone her to death later

Why did the bear go deep sea fishing?

Just for the halibut

I dunno, are you old enough to suck my dick?

>the answer is always "yes"

Yep, He's a real jerk!

She looks like a good fuck too

How can you tell when you're at a gay picnic? The wieners taste like shit

Here's another one.

Guy walks into a bar. He gets a concussion and dies from a brain hemorrhage.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay they'd be bagels

its a bus

How can you tell if the person you are talking to is gay?

They usually have a smile on their face.

a nigg-

You all have probably heard this, but fuck it.
A wise man was relaxing and drinking a beer when his grandchild asked him a question.
>"grandpa, which hurts the worse, being kicked in the nuts or childbirth?"
The wise man pondered this for a second
>"well, user, I believe being kicked in the nuts hurts the most."
>"why, grandpa?"
>"because, once a woman has a baby, she will most likely say she wants another within a year or so; but you will never hear a man ask to be kicked in the nuts EVER!"

that redhead

>muh dick

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why?

To fuck all of you bitches! Cawww!

look out boys there's a rapist behind you

How can you tell when a woman has an orgasm?

>Tfw this really happened
>She wasn't even hot iirc

Why jews love to use soap to wash their hands?
Because not often you can hold your family so tightly!

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?
>Where the hell is my tractor?

How?

See a dermatologist if you haven't. Hyperhydrosis is a bitch. Also, if you have anxiety, see somebody about that. It could be why you're so sweaty.

I go to see my doctor, Dr. Vinny Boombatz. He tells me to stop masturbating. I ask him why. He says, "Because I'm trying to examine you!"

So a literal faggot posts as a woman and you humor the twink?

Two muffins get put into an oven to bake

The first turns to the second and says
>Holy shit its hot in here

The second turns back to the first and says
>Holy shit a talking muffin!

I'm sorry, I think you're confused. Liquor is what you're looking for, not tits.

That took my brain 3 leaps to get to

Have you heard Ariana Grande's latest song?
It's a bomb!

Yes.

Fag

OP's life

Fags being fags

What do you call a bird with no feathers or head?

My ex-wife

A young lady came into the store the other day looking for a German method of coal extraction.

MEIN SHAFT SHE GOT!!!!!!

Top kek, user.

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says "Five beers, please."

Her concerts are a blast I've been told

Of course they are, look at all the public's hands in the air

A woman came into the store asking for help from two strong men.

Help from two strong men she wanted? Double frame she got!

But her encores are a real killer

How do you know you're at a gay barbecue?

All the hotdogs taste like shit.

How long does it take Hillary Clinton to take a shit?
>About 9 months

Because 7 is a registered six offender.

The fans are the deal breaker though, they really kill the mood

What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
>A doberman

Double teamed

Fucking autocorrect

Off to kill myself now


A woman came into the store asking for a cake.

A cake she wanted?
A creampie she got!

A woman came into the store asking for an orgasm.

An orgasm she wanted? WHO GIVES A FUCK WHAT SHE GOT!!!

really?

>Hillary Clinton
Dont you mean nigger?

Well played, gentleman

Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?

A woman came into the store.
The floor was a mess

Um ookk..gksapdgasgkpgsd

Either way works

>... swating like a mf

How do u like them apples?

but seriously though, tfw you will never have the skills to succeed in this social situation. Hell I can't even make small talk with cashiers and people like that

A woman came into a store asking for a orgasm.

A orgasm she wanted?
Who gives a fuck what she wants!

An Irishman didn't walk into a bar.

What did the man say to the woman with two black eyes?

Nothing. He already told her twice. Boooooooooom.

>So a nigger, a spic, and a white man are all walking along a beach
>And they happen upon a genie lamp, they rub it and out pops a genie
>So the genie says for freeing me from my cage I'll grant each of you one wish
>So the nigger says for my wish I want all my people free and happy in my Homeland
>Genie say done and all the niggers are happy and free in Africa
>The spic says I too, want all my people happy and free in my Homeland
>So the genie says done and all the spics are happy and free in Mexico
>And the white guy says so you mean to tell me that all the niggers and all the spics are out of America?
>And the genie replies well yes, why?
>To which the white guy says in that case I'll have a Coke