Mandatory tard stories thread. I'll start

Mandatory tard stories thread. I'll start.
>be me
>high school art class
>someone has the brilliant idea of integrating the school tards into the class for the day
>each normie gets paired up with a tard
>i'm at a table with this guy mark, who doesn't like tards all that much
>the tard i'm paired with is actually pretty cool
>we sit there and talk about video games for most of the class
>mark's tard spends the entire class drawing one shitty picture
>he finally finishes and holds it up to mark
>"i made durf and bernie"
>mark says "what the hell is durf and bernie?"
>tard wrangler overhears this exchange, and sensing something bad was about to happen, rushes over
>"i think he means bert and ernie, like from sesame street"
>mark: "but sesame street isn't a bunch of poorly drawn stick figures"
>tard snaps, screams "I DID A GOOD DURF AND BERNIE!"
>grabs a bottle of paint
>starts chugging it
>wtf.jpg
>my tard says "he does that all the time"
>"he drinks paint all the time? how the fuck is he not dead?"
>"i don't know i think that too"
>my tard goes on to tell me that they usually don't let this potato of ungodly proportions go to the art room for this very reason
>they also don't keep paint in tard HQ
>by this time my sides are in orbit
>they finally wrestle the paint away from him and drag his dopey ass back to tard HQ

Will bump this thread until it gets noticed.

woah i got trips. bump again

dubs now!

COME ON YOU BASTARDS GET IN HERE

This thread needs to get bumped.

thanks user

Bump man

So none of you guys got any stories of your own?

...

I decree that this thread will not die!

Bump

Kek

Tard 1 has transcended to levels burf tard can't imagine

TIL that tards have tards.

I want this. Fuck those trap threads

Once this tard named OP told me a stupid story about paint.

Thank you. Shows you what a faggot shack Sup Forums is starting to become.

Bampy

>Be me, sophomore year of high school
>Take auto class
>Everyone is at least somewhat intelligent and social
>Except for one tard
>Generally doesn't do anything that moronic during class itself
>As for shop time...
>Be second semester
>Friends and I working on our friend's truck
>One of them goes to use the restroom
>Takes a piss but notices tard in stall
>Tells me and another friend
>Walk into the restroom
>Listen as he blows his load
>Laugh our asses off silently as we walk back to the truck
>This goes on for two or three months
>One day, tired of this tard's shit
>Doesn't know I knew he beat his meat
>Ask him how it felt to jerk it in the stall
>He's at a stall, then walks off
>Turn around to see my friends laughing their asses off
>Teacher didn't know any of this
Auto was great.

What that faggot mark did was a total dick move.

>each normie gets paired up with a tard
>i'm at a table with this guy mark, who doesn't like tards all that much

So... OP was the tard?

I thought it was pretty funny actually. It can warm your heart to be mean to a tard.

top kek

I do think op meant that

>be in middle School
>It's before class starts kid playing super tiny harmonica
>Passing tard notices, harmonica kid starts dancing like a goon
>Tard takes acception to that and swings his bookbag with all his might at harmonica kid
>Harmonica kid doges back tard swings again clocking him in the head with God knows what in the bag
>Knocks harmonica kid out snatches tiny harmonica and runs off screaming
>Smfh

You shouldn't be mean to tards, you are just lowering yourself to tard level.

Learn to be the better man.

I don't think so either

>be me
>be about 8 yo
>be visiting grandparents in another state
>sleep on couch because not enough beds
>morning.jpg
>something jumps on my legs
>think it's the dog
>dump it onto floor
>screaming_child.wav
launched 2 y o tard cousin halfway across the room

top fucking kek

>be me
>6th grade art class circa 2004
>kid who i didn't know was full tard at table
He had Tourette's and aspbergers fuck me if he looked it.
>get into argument over something
Nerdy
Basically calling out obvious lies and exaggerations
>this upsets the tard
>instead of a freak out or rage he tells teacher after class
My dad beat my ass when I got home and I honestly didn't know he was retarded. Saw him in a store not long ago and is a full on brony now.

TARDS ARE AGENTS OF CHAOS. THEY DO THE WILL OF KEK

Pretty sure all bronies are tards.

Holy fuck you went 888, 88, 8

Bump

It's the pretty colors and high pitched voices I assume

See, I told ya this thread is good.

>be me
>be sophomore in high school
>just moved to now town
>have autistic kid in class that does anything anyone asks
>hot girl with big tits but extremely unpopular for someone asks me out
>say no so can make friends
>she tells everyone you asked her out and acts like a total cunt
>come up with plan to get back at her
>be in gym class
>tell autistic kid she likes to dance the robot and show him the dance but with pelvic thrusts
>watch kid run behind her and begin doing said dance
>begin laughing as he chases her around the gym for a full 5 minutes
>girl snitches
>suspended for 3 days

>be me
>8th grade
>be in gym
>this one tard named cam (hes a nig btw)
>runs into the bathroom and pushes a few people out of his way
>my friend dale and i watch in awe as after he gets done pissing he flushes the toilet several times
>proceeds to the scream "oh no"
>tries to stop water from overflowing by pushing it down with his hands

my sides

>extremely unpopular for someone
wat

MOAR STORIES DONT LET THIS THREAD DIE

>high school has outdoor pay phones
>prank call 1800flowers
>my dude sees passing tard
>in a sudden stroke of genius he holds the phone out to the tard
>"it's for you"
>tard is in the phone with flower rep
>lunch period ended, we left tard on the phone ordering flowers.
>next day phones are off limits unless supervised
>school staffer assigned to sit outside for all 3 lunch periods to watch phones

Fucking right? English mother fucker do you speak it?

grade a story brah

Nice digits

Some reason* autocorrect

>be me 8th grade
>weak ass tard named Micheal, has OCD and autism or some shit
>Always has to close every door in the school left open
>one day i decide to fuck with him
>i follow him for 15 minutes opening every door he closes infront of him
>starts to get sobby
>looks at me with tears pouring from his eyes
>lmaoidontcare.sociopath
>continue
>eventually he goes to a teacher and starts weeping and crying big time
> get the fuck out of there

checked and keked

I love potato stories.
First time I ever saw a potato was when I was like 8. Didn't know potatoes were a thing until years later. Just thought he was a 'normal' kid who looked fucked up. Wish I had some stories ;-;

eh. 2/10, and you got the extra point for fucking with a tard.

K MOAR

>am me
>am good boy
>am good big boy
>because goodness overseer lets me take walks
>walks outside slow boy containment pen
>am take walks in hallway away from pen
>feel pee coming up
>after while find bathroom to pee because if I pee on floor again overseer says he will tan ass
>tan ass is bad
>stagger into bathroom, throw self into wall toilet and pull pants down to ankles
>there is other boy beside me
>while putting pee in wall toilet have good idea
>i will have fun by challenging boy to pee fight
>yell "pee fight" and project yellow torrent towards boy
>he not play with me
>he has disgust on face then scowl then lunges
>am on ground and he hurt face
>i cry then shit self
>boy pauses in disgust then makes hurt even harder and faster
>my jaw broken before overseer passes by and take back to pen
not allowed walks

Heres another one
>be me
>be in gym in morning sitting with group of friends
>this one tard named Rayne rolls up
>these niggers sitting near us are screaming their monkey talk
>rayne tries to tell the be quite or sumthin
>nigs arent having it and start yelling back at her
>we cant understand anything they say
>rayne tells on them for yelling at her
>they detention for a week
>no niggers for a week
Mfw

fucking niggers

Bump

MOAR DAMMIT MOAR

>be me
>have 5 year old nephew with an extra chromosome(temporary tard)
>nephew does crazy shit like piss on people and throw dirty diapers at people
>be visiting sister one night and wake up kind of early
>walk towards living room finding the bathroom torn up like a dog did it
>getting ready to get on to nephew.jpeg
>that's when I see it
>nephew feeding his niece shit from his diaper.gif
>begin flipping shit while he laughs his little ass off
>wake sister up to tell her what happened
>2 weeks letter start thinking about the incident and laugh your ass off

Dude.

>tard with asbergers in year 10 of christian school who walks around all lunchtime making lightsaber noises and keeps getting in trouble for reading books in class
>English teacher gives assignment to speak for 5 minutes on something you're passionate about
>tardmodeengaged
>2 weeks later, It's showtime
>tards turn to go up
>starts raving about how homosexuality is a mental illness and gays should be killed or at the least medicated
>class sides are in orbit, everyone crying from laughter
>tard thinks this is approval, keeps talking with a big smile between laughs about how Hitler should have won
>teacher frantically trying to make him stop but the laughter keeps spurring him on

Best English class ever

I work at a special needs horse farm, I've raked up a few good ones. Will share if people are still on this thread

Jesus yes!

Do it!

Bump
>Second grade
> Meets Jew tard named Shalom
>Jew won't leave me alone...
>Tells tard all girls have cooties
>Tard runs away yelling don't touch me
>Teacher goes to check on tard
>Tard starts freaking out fullautism.gif
>Teacher summons the tard guard
>Tard guard is Mrs. Candle
>Tard is still losing it
>Gym teacher is called for extra assistance
>Tard is calm now
>Td;lr
>I caused s tard tantrum because I wanted to be left alone

Hand over the memes

Yess

You can't bump your own thread, retard

>why not
it's retarded

forty keks op, good story

> Be in 2nd grade
> Live in quiet and small town
> Class has 2 tards, 1 relatively smart the other has a waterhead
> Me and my friends always pull pranks and do weird shit
> We think of a cunning plan
> Get 2 nerds to rig the waterhead's wheelchair with a device
> Launch the tard
> They explain he will explode when the timer runs out
> Special forces come to help
> Sends in one of my friends to calm the tard down
> Ends up dying
> Timer reaches zero
> Tard disappears
> All we heard was TIMMEH!

>Tard guard

KEK

>Is me
>grade 2
>Potato in my class, name is Shem
>Shem
>The year is 1930s, Bayblades are the shit
>Lunchtime, ripping the blades with friends
>Potato is among us with his shitty beta Bayblade
>Its me against Potato Shem Man
>Let it rip!
>The Bayblade battle of the decade is on
>'Taters Precious gets distracted by some shit and looks away
>I snatch his Bae
>Uncut Fries turns back, sees his Bae is missing, look of horror on his potato face
>Without missing a beat I point to some kid "it was him"
>Poe-Tay-Toe rage mode activated
>Leaps at him, pounding his ham fists at the poor kid, ripping his hair etc
>"Give me back! Give it back!"
>Detention for a week
>Worth.

Bump

Reeeerrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee

Is this even in english?

good episode right there

Special needs horse farm guy here, looks like you people are interested. I'm usually a lurker, but only for you guys.

>be me
>volunteer at a special needs horse farm
>assist with horseback lessons, essentially a tard wrangler
>one day we're short on barn staff, boss asks me to lead the horse
>never lead a horse before, but do it anyway because why the fuck not, I love horses
>start lesson with extremely nervous tard, I mean so nervous we had to pick him up and put him on the horse
>I'm nervous too, this horse, let's call him "Mr. Ed" is fucking Houdini himself, the farm's escape artist
>boss insists on using Mr Ed
>lesson is relatively normal, whatever the fuck "normal" is there
>inside indoor arena
>gate is open
>Mr. Ed sees his next-door stall mate outside in the turnout pasture
>houdinimodeactivated.jpg
>Mr. Ed bolts out the gate, with nervous tard on his back
>nervous tard is screaming and wailing, as Mr. Ed dashes out of the barn across the field to the turnout pasture
>desperately trying to make sure tard doesn't fall off
>miraculously he manages to hold on
>Mr. Ed stops at the gate after a long run with screaming/crying tard
>mfw tard is undamaged, but Mr. Ed is still loose
>every time I try to approach Mr. Ed, he moves away
>can't get panicking tard off him
>eventually get 5 other barn staff to surround Mr. Ed to free the tard
>I wasn't expecting Mr. Ed to pull shit like that, I gave blood that day, plus panic level of stress caused me to nearly pass out. I know horses can feel the emotion of their rider/ones around them, I guess he took advantage of the nervousness of the tard
>pic related, Mr. Ed

Moar?

Great thread sir. You are not cancer. Kill all children.

Bump

>be ADD kid in high school before they seperated full tards from mildly tard such as myself.
>have study hall class required of everyone in the tard program.
>me and some other mildly tard people in class get quake on all the computers and fight.
>extra large full tard sits at the computer next to me.
>he begins to watch hentai full blast no head phones.
>very loud, tard just watches
>look at my teacher who simply say "Oh just let him be"
>mfw

True story
>In high school
>In gym class
>Swimming in pool that day
>Group of retard students in the class, kinda kept to themselves by their own special teacher but still expected to participate in same activities as normal students
>Decide to be nice and tell one of the retarded girls she was cute in her swimsuit
>Didn't know this girl was claimed by one of the retarded boys
>Later, swimming laps in a lane
>Out of nowhere the retarded boy had somehow swam across several lanes (they can barely swim if at all) and was in my lane
>Retarded boy proceeds to swim towards me while also trying to punch me
>I keep away but am like "what the fuck?"
>Eventually special teacher for tards gets control of him
Still don't know if retarded boy was just retarded and jealous, or if he was somehow a man fighting for his honor and his love trapped in a retarded mind.

Lame and gay

>lmaoidontcare.sociopath

Woah m8, now THAT is fucking EDGY.

Top fucking kek

Got a good one but not green texting from phone. In class age 6. Tard named quinton is this dopey nigger that looks about 3 feet taller than the rest of us. Quinton pulls his pants down and starts humping the table while licking it and staring at everyone. Teachers go into panick mode trying to pull this nigger of the table but his tard strength stops them. Ends up sticking his finger in his ass and starts poking teachers with it it. They looked so helpless. Quinton then gets off the table and starts shaking his nuts outside of his righty whiteys parading around before the janitor wrangles the rabid ape down. Pretty disturbing at age 6

lrn2greentext

tard

There was a nignog tard at my college that did a similar thing in the library. I wonder...

>be me
>be in high school
>class has a few tards
>bow-legged nig-tard
>big-assed, horny tard girl
>tism boy named gavin
>deaf, spic tard
>and the golden boy, tard josh
>josh is the tard who goes pants off while having a piss at the urinal
>always grabbing tits and ass at will
>feelsgoodtobegangsta.jpg
>he pulled the pants off a chick in middle school
>he was pretty well tamed

I wish I had better tard stories because our school's tards were always gems.

Read first sentence tatertot

Woah. Shamalan level shit rite there Boise.

No excuse faggot

Any Retard porn?

Dude, just give him a break, he's a tard.

Sure.

>still me
>special needs farm volunteer
>7:30, our last lesson for tonight
>most of us have worked 1w hours, tired af
>but we all know what 7:30 on a Thursday night means
>we get a visit from the super-tard
>this kid is beyond the average autismos we have, I actually like helping tards. But this fucking tard, let's just call him "Bean"
>Bean is so aggravating even our most patient and experienced staff litrrally bring flasks on Thursdays, for what we call the "Bean after-party"
>Bean usually doesn't even get through the tacking up part of the lesson he's that dysfunctional
>that night was one of "those nights", where we couldn't even get him to "brush the horsie" for even 10 seconds
>Bean starts throwing shit fit because we told him he won't be able to ride if he doesn't cooperate
>Literally cannot get him to do anything without him sperging out and doing something else, i.e. fucking up the tack room I just organized


*continue on pt.2

...

Oh tard stories, I'm in

>be me
>grade 7
>tard likes playing out on the field
>ocassionally pics up big sticks
>likes to pretend he's in Africa
>lightbulb.jpeg
>My friends and I convince him to hunt down an elephant in Africa because it's hurting a lot of people
>Elephant is Mr. K, obese old white teacher
>we show him how to throw the sticks like spears and how to use the heavier sticks as clubs
>after teaching him
>moment of truth

Continue?

yes god damn it next time post the whole thing

>boss eventually had enough and tells Bean there's not enough time to ride
>bean harnesses the powers of the Autism Gods, the likes of which I have never seen before, working two years full-time at a special needs farm, which says a LOT.
>Bean is like Hurricane Sandy and Hurricane Katrina's Friday Night love child, destroying EVERYTHING in his wake
>staff try to contain him, sustain casualties
>Bean makes his path of terror and desteuction back to the horse he was supposed to be grooming
>Bean spergs out at horse, horse spooks
>bean BITES THE FUCKING HORSE OF THE NOSE

*cont. Part 3*

Yes, post it

>BITES THE HORSE OF THE NOSE