What's the best way to lose weight? I'm a fucking manlet, (5'3") And 280 some pounds. I'm done being fat...

What's the best way to lose weight? I'm a fucking manlet, (5'3") And 280 some pounds. I'm done being fat. I want to get fucking ripped. Where do I start?

Don't eat before you exercise so you burn stored fat and not the shit you just ate.

Go to /fit/, pick a diet and exercise routine and get to work you fat piece of shit.

eat less move more

Bad advice like this is why you need to read the stickied posts on /fit/, there are a lot of trolls and and retards like this guy

Ephidrin

Count calories. U need a deficit.

>What's the best way to lose weight?
Eat less
>I want to get fucking ripped.
Steroids
>Where do I start?
Read the sticky

do cardio and eat properly

eat less and use metric

You fucking got it dude.

Holy fuck 5'3".. idk if you're gonna look any less shitty, bud.

Kys

Dude, that looks a hundred times better than being fucking fat? Yeah dude i'm 5'3" don't give a fuck though.

>join /fit/
>start sucking dick
>????
>profit

Start at the gym user. I went for the first time in 15 years today. Start slow and don't get discouraged.

Dude... You want a fucking gym buddy? I'm serious. I want to lose so much fucking weight. I need to. I'm done being fucking fat. For real.

IF no carbs, lift heavy shit, walk to where you would usually drive to, run to where you would usually walk to, lift heavy shit

google ketogenic diet

You got it. I got a pool to so i'm gonna start swimming too.

Fuck off fatty

Swimming is awesome, definitely read up on keto and fasting, diet is honestly 80% of the work

Im in LA if you are nearby. I doubt it, but if you are, the gyms are great here to just stare at ass and ride exercise bikes.

water fasting

What's the best way to gain weight Sup Forumsrod. I weigh 126 lbs and I'm 5'7. I've been skinny my whole life and it's honestly kinda sad

Dude i'm in the midwest, far away from there. I'll fucking email you and shit though.

Peanut butter got almost 600 calories per 100 grams

Start by eliminating soda, candy, beer from your diet.
Stop eating pizza/ going out to eat.
Slowly introduce vegetables to your diet.
Eat around 1500 calories/ day.
You will lose weight if you follow this.

Dubs checkd. You need to eat more its that easy, You may think you eat x amount of calories but I guarantee if you count your calories you will need 1000 more then you are eating.

I mean, what are the best things to eat? I mean obviously, fruits, veggies, and lean meat right? I just am fucking sick of being fat. I'm about to call a gym down the road from me.

just fucking starve, after the second day the pain goes away and you just feel lazy

Actually that's really not bad advice. He's not looking to put on muscle dumbass, he can tap into fat stores with fasted aerobics

Visit /fit/

do the Auchwitz diet

1 ladle of tomato soup per day

1 ladle of water per day

do this for 4 weeks

THEN start a gym routine

>obviously
>right?
wrong, read the fucking sticky linked here

cardio NIGGGUUUHHHHH

You could also try to get a desoxyn script (prescription crystal meth, look it up, it can be given to you if you are diabetic) or start taking adderal and mdma and going to clubs, drinking makes you gain weight to, ethanol = calories, MDMA/Speed = FUN FUN DANCE FUN FUN

70% good fats, 20% protein, you don't need that much to lose fat, it can actually get converted to glucose, 10 plant matter carbs, no refined oils, sugars, grains or starches. That 's it eat whole food, you don't need to count calories or worry about intake none of that bullshit

not diabetic, OBESE my bad.

eat less, move more
how do you even get fat? I can't get myself to eat enough

The food is going to turn into stored fat before he can burn it anyway you fucking retard it doesnt make a difference when he eats it

>he's not looking to put on muscle
He loterally wrote "i want to get fucking ripped"

Sauce: Lost 45kg in one yesr and 2 monthz (I'm 6'3'' so can't quite relate to your height problem

Food is 80% - get a diet and stick to it. And, if possible, try not to think its a diet but instead a new way of living. No stupid diets tho, just eat properly.

Best of luck user

Gym-20% if you are new to the gym, go for a personal trainer if possible, believe it or not, they do great work.

Never think (when I lose x I stop) because when you reach your goal you will start gaining again

Drugs. Lots of.
I believe in thee

I need to start counting my calories then because I do tend to skip meals here and there

Motherfucker how the fuck are you that fat?!

I'm 5'4" and 150 lbs and I find myself to be overweight compared to what I weighed when I was an athlete (123 lbs).

You have to lose at least 130 lbs. It will take time.

This is not a diet, this is a new lifestyle.
Do the following:
> Drop empty calory drinks: soda including diet soda, juices, milk, beer, fuck nearly all alcohol.
> Reduce or eliminate your consumption of refined carbs: white bread, white rice, donuts, cake, etc.
> Limit starchy foods to once or twice a week (potatoes, yams, sweet potatoes, etc)
> Increase protein intake: chicken, fish (fuck tilapia tho), even red meat.
> limit pork consumption
> Avoid trans fats
> ABSOLUTELY NO FRIED FOOD
> Increase vegetable consumption
> No empty calorie junk such as chips, cookies, etc.
> You can snack on fruits (limited), unflavored popcorn, carrots, etc.
> Do not binge eat, EVER (you will be hungry, moody, etc, this is normal for a while).
> Do not skip meals. Distribute 2100 calories per day. If you excercise, eat 2400 calories per day.
> Always have breakfast (eggs: boiled, scrambled or omellete, oatmeal, black coffee, water, fruits such as grapefruit are good.
> Drink lots of water (a gallon a day is good).
> Do lift. Go to /fit/ for more.
> Do cardio. Try to work up your cardio enough to be able to safely do HIIT within 3 months.
> Sleep 7 - 8 hours per night.

You may treat yourself once every 2 weeks but it can ONLY BE 1 PORTION OR LESS of whatever you want it to be.

If you do it right, you should be able to easily lose about 6 or 8 lbs per month or more. Also, don't rely on the scale. Muscle weighs more than fat. Rely on your waist band, your mirror, and your body fat percentage.

As a nice little bonus, unless you have some kind of digestive condition you will after a month or so, begin taking dumps between 1 - 3 times a day.

>Start by eliminating soda, candy, beer from your diet.
As stupid as this sounds, these do wonders
>Stop eating pizza/ going out to eat.
>Slowly introduce vegetables to your diet.
Balance (balance in normal food) is the key, eating too much of something will fuck you up.
>Eat around 1500 calories/ day.
Aim to 1100, you trying to lose weight and I am assuming you browse on Sup Forums all day
>You will lose weight if you follow this.
ye, also lift everyday faggot (yes lift to lose weight)

Hahaha, dude i don't know. I used to be skinny as fuck, then all of a sudden I started gaining weight. I gotta do something man. I appreciate you taking the time to help and type all that out. Another reason is i'm a disabled vet. IT hurts to run and exercise, but i'm gonna fucking fight past it. I'd rather be in pain than fat. I bet most of the pain i have will go away after losing weight.

Yes, so basically you stopped being active due to disability, your metabolism caught up with your age and newfound inactivity and presto: instant weight gain.

If you can't run, try cycling, swimming, and punching bags for cardio.

get off the computer faggot

There's a pool across the street from me. It's about to open next week. Any tips?

Start taking steroids and dont work out. Continue doing for 2 weeks and watch weight shed off you. Trust me

I need to gain weight. You should send my your food, both parties win

Dude, come take it dog.

Start by putting the fork down and peeling yourself off the semen caked chair you've melted into.

Bump