Who /bigboy/ here?

Who /bigboy/ here?
>be 26 year old neet
>today's my birthday
>go to Burger King for lunch
>don't have to spend GBP 'cause it's my birthday
>get 3 10 piece nuggets for 1.49 each and 2 things of tendies fries
>want more but self concious of what the cashier would think so make mom get me a whopper and some more chicken fries and some normal fries
>we leave and go home
>on the way we pass by a McDonald's, I tell her I need to use the restroom so we stop there
>ask if I can get an ice cream cone since it's my birthday
>all she has is a 50 so she tells me to give her the change
>walk into mcdicks
>order 3 Big Macs (they aren't really that big) 3 large fries, 3 large cokes (the Big Macs fries and cokes come in a combo meal), and 20 McNuggets
>get back to the car and say sorry
>realize I didn't get an ice cream
>run back in and get one
>eat the whole way home while listening to my mom bitch at me
>get home, grab a bag of Fritos to eat while I wait for my popcorn to pop
>bring the rest of the Fritos and the popcorn upstairs to eat while I browse Sup Forums
>in an hour I'll be going to Red Robin for my birthday dinner

Fatass.

>wake up at noon
>30 year old NEET
>had accident in sleep which I rolled around in
>grab cum-towel off nightstand and do my best wipe mess from my folds of fat
>tummy gurgles loudly, so hungry
>plop out of bed, navigate through shit jugs and piss bottles in my room
>waddle downstairs to check GBP board
>wait a minute to catch my breath before I look
>just enough Good Boy Points for some tendies and sauce!
>legs buckle under own weight
>roll myself into the living room where mummy is watching her favorite soap opera
>"mummy mummy I have enough Good Boy Points for some tendies!"
>she turns to me with the most disgusting look on her face while I lay flat on the ground stuggling to get up
>"s-sure honey, le-let me just get some tendies for you"
>she struggles to go to the kitchen without vomitting from the smell and sight of my obese, putrid, feces and semen covered body
>she pulls the tendies out of the freezer after letting the oven heat up as she begins to cry into the sink
>I roll over and pull myself up to my high chair that starts to creak as I sit down
>have my crayons and Power Rangers coloring book to occupy me while I wait
>the tendies are finally done and she puts them on my plate
>she can't hold back the vomit as I open my mouth to eat some tendies and vomits all over my plate
>I can't let these tendies go to waste, so I eat them along with the vomit
>"yummy wummy tendies in my tummy, thanks mummy"
>do my best to muster a smile but the rows of decaying teeth only disgust mummy further
>high-chair finally breaks from my heft
>causes me to have another accident
>mum runs away to her room, sobbing uncontrollably, so ashamed of her baby boy
>mfw

>Mummy brings home a new daddy
>"user, meet your new daddy. His name is Tom. :)"
>"Pleased to meet you, user!"
>Fucking normie mom, brings home a new daddy every week.
>Ignore him and get back to watching my favorite movie (Scoobie Doo Wrestlemania Mystery)
>Decide to bring out my wrasslin toys to re-enact the movie.
>Feeling a bit rumbly in my tummy
>Stumble over to the kitchen to redeem my GBP for some Tendy-Wendies and Cherry Coke Zero
>As I take a sip of my Cherry Coke Zero from my sippy cup, I notice out of the corner of my eye that the new Daddy has picked up my Triple H figure
>Stomp over to him
>"THEY CALL ME THE BABY BOY! NO MAN ON EARTH WILL TOUCH MY TOY!"
>BRRRRRRRRRRRR-APPLEDOUGH
>Launch myself at the fucking normie and knock him over effortlessly (I'm 6'2" 370 pounds)
>Hold him down and aim my nose at his mouth
>Begin to blow snot out of my nose at full force.
>"YOU TO LIVE WITH MUMMY AND ME? NOW YOU WILL EAT BOOGERS FOR TEA!"
>Tom begins throwing up from cobined grodyness of my boogies and body odour (havent showered in 3 weeks)
>Mummy comes in and sees the scene
>Pulls me off of her boyfriend and takes away 10 GBP (Totally worth it)
>Tom leaves early
>He hasn't called back since.

where are the pics?

>saved up enough Good Boy Points for a new game
>ask mummy to drive me to EB Games
>says she drank too much of her adult grape juice so she cant drive
>decide to go myself
>pack some chicken tendies for the journey in case I get hungies
>go to the garage, grab my bike and TMNT bicycle helmet (leonardo, of course)
>riding my bike, people angry and yelling at me as i make my way through sidewalk (wtf am i supposed to do, ride on the street?)
>see cousin dylan walking home from school with his friends
>wave hello but he pretends not to notice me (lol he's so shy)
>get to EB Games, grab a copy of Super Smash Brothers, and head to cashier
>tell him i would like to purchase this game using my accumulated good boy points
>he gives me a weird look and then asks for my EB Games Edge points rewards card
>huh? i don't have that. its what mummy must use to keep my GBP on
>ask him if i can pay with my chicken tendies
>"uh.. no, you cant pay with chicken, that's not legal tender"
>"WHAT? THIS IS TOTALLY CHICKEN TENDERS, WTF YOU THINK, THAT THESE ARE NUGGETS OR SOMETHING?"
>he tells me he's calling security, so i grab the the game and run, get on my bike, and flee
>get somewhere safe, check out game, THE CASE IS FUCKING EMPTY, IT WAS JUST FOR DISPLAY
>so angry, i take a big meaty shit inside the case and smush it shut
>throw it on sidewalk and watch as some excited kid and his mom pick it up
>lel not a complete loss i guess
>get home, police car there
>mom is hysterical
>"user THERE YOU ARE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN??"
>tell her of my adventure as she hugs me
>get extra tendies for dinner that night

>Birthday last week
>Mama got me the counterstrike source cake I wanted
>Get a card from grammy
>"Enjoy your birthday, sorry I couldn't be there sweety, I hope you can use this"
>A lot of weird green bills in there
>Mamas eyes get big
>Ask her what these are
>"It's money, I use it to buy your chicken and videogames"
>"Can I trade it for good boy points?"
>"Yes you can, of course you can"
>then new daddy walks into the room
>smells like smoke and adult apple juice
>slaps mamas butt
>sees the money
>"I need this for the poker game tonight"
>Mama says no, I traded it with her
>He slaps her faces butt now
>Mama screams
>I'm sitting there eating my cake
>Ask her when dinner is ready
>She says I gotta help her
>This FUCKING NORMIE
>ASKS ME
>TO HELP HER
>ON MY OWN BIRTHDAY
>take off all my clothes and jump on the table
>Press my willy in the cake and run to mama screaming at the top of my lungs flailing my arms
>hit mama in the belly
>hear a loud oomf
>new daddy looks at me
>I look at him
>I get down on my knees and grab his crotch
>he goes back and asks me what I'm doing
>I just wanted to show him I can be mama too
>Run at him and bite him in his crotch
>even though he wore pants he dropped to the ground crying
>now everyone was crying
>my diaper has been full the whole time
>put some cake in diaper since mama isnt changing it and feed it to new daddy
>new daddy never came back after the poker game
>mama made me fresh chicken tendies with a side of pizza that night
>she didn't even charge my good boy points
>best 40th birthday ever

> be me
> 28 years old NEET
> raised as an only child
> I caused mummy and daddys divorce
> nothing matters except the scrumptious taste of tendies
> GOLDEN BROWN TENDY TOWN TURN THAT FROWN UPSIDE DOWN
> mfw its 03:00am
> eww mummy is sleeping with nasty landlord
> mummy I'm hungries
> yell into intercom for snackitysnacks
> CLAIM THE MEAL OF THE CHICKEN GODS!! ITS TENDY TIME!!
> her tired voice reponds with "PISS OFF SWEETY MOMMY IS WORKING!!"
> insolent woman I know there are tendies in the freezer bring me my tendies
> challenging me at this hour?
> keep chanting for the tendies that are rightfully mine
> evil jew landlord tells mummy to shut me up
> naughty man. Making mummy's ladylettuce smell like sardines
> The war has begun.ctn
> enter sunrise. All Preparations are complete.
> nullifying any chance of escape I reeeee into mummies "office" on my valiant reinforced electric wheelchair
> douse jew in two jugs of poopyjuice before he can activate his spells
> evil jew is unable to battle!
> ram him into the corner and then leap off of my valiant steed and mount mummy's face
> NO NO NO NO NO NO MUMMY! YOUR PUNISHMENT MUST BE MORE SEVERE!!
> "URGH! YOU'RE CRUSHING ME SWEET-- OH GOD HELP ME PLEASE NO!!"
> Groan as I release a big boy turd so nasty her fingernails begin to peel backwards
> gaze into her eyes as the impact sends mummy into panic attack
> expel the last of my poopies on the sheet. How many times must I break you?
> tidy up my toys and waddle into kitchen to await my spoils
> slithery jew slithers out of my castle and says we don't need to worry about rent ever again
> mummy finally arrives visibly shaken and broken inside
> opens the freezer to make my tendies and blows them until they are cool
> "mummy you have to chew them for me"
> mummy breaks down in tears and screams for death
> yawn, give myself 5 extra gbp and fall asleep without eating them.

>Recoding a let's play of me building a 200x200 pikachu in minecraft complete with genetalia
>Realize I'm starving. Literally starving.
>MOM
>No answer.
>Yell MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM for what feels like fucking hours.
>Sick of this shit, I call her phone over and over again.
>She finally answers, it sounds like the bitch was half asleep.
>Already annoyed, I snap "Mom I'm hungy."
>"Isn't there anything in your minifridge, honey? I have to leave for work in two hours."
>After a moment of tense silence, she realizes her mistake.
>"I'm sorry sweetie pie I'll bring you something."
>"Finally. Jesus Christ," I say, my rage staring to subside.
>Go back to minecraft. I'm starting work on the detailed penis. I'm using wool blocks to make the cum. :3
>After like two fucking hours my mom FINALLY comes in and sets a tray down in front of me, apologizing for not hearing me earlier.
>And what is on the tray, you might ask? A pizza and a glass of water. A fucking frozen pizza. And not one of the good ones, but the fucking six inch HEALTHY piece of shit.
>I glare at her and start slowly pushing it onto the floor.
>"Please don't, baby. We don't have anymore tendies. I'm sorry. Please," she begs, tearing up.
>Tray falls on floor, water falls on my dehumidifier and shorts it out.
>thiswasthefinalstraw.png
>I start screaming at her and flailing my arms and kicking my legs, knocking over my open piss jug.
>She starts crying and hugs me.
>I scratch and bite her as she silently sobs, holding me down.
>"I'll go get you your tendies, sweetie! I'm so sorry, I should have picked up more yesterday!"
>I calm down and go back to crafting my pikachu penis.
>Hear her sobbing as the front door close.
Bitch was lucky walmart is open at 4AM.

>i wake up for another sing-songy sunshiney sunday funday
>i stretch and yawn as I rip my daily wakey gas, the feeling of liquid splattering against my Magic School Bus undies makes me proud
>i haul myself out of bed, kissing my Rei Ayanami body pillow good morning, but my legs buckle out from under my generous frame
>oh well! I guess I'll have to be a Roly Poly from now on
>i roll over to my GBP chart and check it
>I've saved up a whole 5 GBP! That's a new record I'm SURE mummy will be proud of!
>i roll down the stairs to see what mumsy is up to this wonderful morning
>i slip and crack my nose against the stairpost
>mumma gets up shocked, "user are you okay?!"
>i'm bleeding from my nose and it has a weird shape, but I don't care, "mummy mummy, where's the yummy chickie tendies for my tummy?"
>"what?"
>i lift my shirt and begin slapping my tummy like a bongo "your precious little angel has saved five GBP, make some chickie tendies, and make them all for me!"
>"user, you know the price for a tendie meal is 20 Good Boy Points. And after the Legoland incident you should be grateful that you still have 5 left."
>i freeze. This BITCH, has the fucking GALL, to deprive me of my well deserved poultry cutlets.
>i sit up and begin slamming my feet on the floor angrily and punching my head
>"YOUR SPECIAL LITTLE BOY HAS BEEN GOOD FOR FAR TOO LONG, TENDIES NOW YOU BITCH OR I SHALL DO YOU WRONG"
>she closes her eyes, "user, please calm down..."
>i begin screaming and simultaneously poopooing and peepeeing my pants, but my engine has been burned out and I curl up in my own waste, peacefully sleeping
>i wake up clean and tethered to my bed, a plate of yummy tendies on my tummy with a note from mama jama saying she's sorry for being so harsh and that she's proud of me for being such a good boy
Being a bad boy has its perks, but nothing beats the satisfaction of being mummy's good little boy!

Sounds like it will be your last birthday ever, OP. Hope it was worth it.

>while listening to my mom bitch at me
How dare she scold here precious little miracle on his birthday! You should have laid five across that cunt's face.

Hey guys. How many GBPs do you get for doing things like:

Making your bed
Brushing your teeth
Not wetting the bed
walking the dog
flushing the toilet when you're done
saying please and thank you?

I feel like my mom is kinda stingy with the points so I want to see what other anons are getting. I'm 33 if that matters

I get one GBP for everything good I do, with a 5 GBP allowance I'm 38 and have saved up an entire 704 in my bank, I have enough GBP to pay for all of Africa to have one tendie!

What the actual fuck is wrong with you people? You guys are seriously 30 years old and still living with your mom? You eat a fuck ton too, what the fuck?

You sound just like mummy when she has some of her special grape juice...

sounds like someone didn't get any GBPs today. Maybe you should try helping your mom out once in a while. So far this week I've brought in the mail twice and made my own breakfast once. That's almost enough points to go see a movie on Friday night. I'll be out having fun while you're stuck at home like a loser. Fucking faggot

>Fritos and popcorn
>corn on top of corn
Dumbfuck.

Ok what the fuck is a gbps? Are you retarded

great britain pounds

this is how all british men live

Newfag

Good Boy Points™