/nfl/ general - Statpadders Edition

DUDE HEAD COACHING OPPORTUNITIES

CIN:Bengals hope to trade backup QB A.J. McCarron
NE:McDaniels to interview with three teams Sat.
NO:Sean Payton plans on staying with Saints
OAK:Del Rio wants more work for Latavius Murray
ATL:Report: Kyle Shanahan to interview with 49ers
OAK:Del Rio on McGloin's status: 'We'll see'
HOU:Lamar Miller 'set to return' against Raiders
MIA:Rams, Bills also interested in Fins DC Joseph
HOU:Texans expected to start Osweiler against OAK
DAL:Cowboys expected to activate OL La'El Collins
CLE:Browns want to extend LB Collins, WR Pryor
MIA:Vance Joseph appears on Chargers HC wish list

Chiefs

Cowboys

>he unironically believes Tom Brady isn't getting his 5th ring this year

Singles and the 'Boys win the owl.

>That underwhelming number given his stupid amount of snaps with the Dallas line
>TY Hilton

No real stat padders this year, makes me very sad, at least Brees is always good for 5k.

that you'd care so much about getting the first post really indicates that you should pursue suicide

i mean it

kill yourselves

Who can stop him?

NYG

That's about it

No one

mediocre run-blocking

Lions will.

Also Falcons

Didn't the Giants have a historically bad defense like 2 seasons ago?

How did they improve so much in such a short period of time?

>322 attempts for 1631 yards
>5.1 yards per carry
>tied for 3 highest yards per carry among running backs with at least 200 attempts
>2nd highest yards per carry among running backs with at least 250 attempts
>underwhelming

Cowboys haters will say anything to put down Zeke, Dark, the 'Boys and their fans even if it makes them look retarded.

spent like 100 million dollars signing free agents

post fanbases you know you could beat in a fight

cowboy fans are fat, undisciplined and stupid, so i've no doubt that i could beat any of them in a fight and curb-stomp them when i'm done

>implying you wouldn't have to fight like 10 mexicans

Cowboys fans are Mexican therefore manlets who can only win a fight with a box cutter.

>he thinks he can beat mexicans in a fight
>can't even stop them from taking over his country

lol

i'm obviously not fighting all of them at the same time you dipshit

mexicans and pussy-faggot bandwagoners, both rendering them even less of a threat

When the truck of Cowboys fans pulls up, note if it is lowered or lifted.

If it's lifted, it's probably one fat white dude.

Lowered? There's like 20 Mexicans in that bitch, start running nigga.

Jets fans are all lanklets and women from what I saw in NY

the only things keeping mexicans in this country are laws against assault

believe me i'd kick you shits back from whence you came, pablo

lmao is this what white cucks tell themselves while they sit behind a computer screen and we take over your country and your women? Whites are fucking pathetic, no wonder America will soon be ours lol

David Johnson would have put up 2100 with that line.

none because I don't make generalizations

>2. Cyrus Jones, CB
Fumbled how many times on returns? Plus he couldn't cover anyone. D-

>3. Joe Thuney, OG
Pretty good. Has had struggles, especially with penalties. But better than all the other guards we've picked recently. A

>3. Jacoby Brisket, QB
Did okay. Nobody expected him to have to come in though. Coaches really like him though. B

>3. Vincent Valentine, DT
With Branch, Flowers, and Brown all doing amazing, he hasn't gotten much work. Can't really comment much on him. Hopefully he does better with the limited snaps he gets later. C

>4. Malcolm Mitchell, WR
First time we actually drafted my draftfu. He's everything Dropson should have been and more. Will only get better. A+

>6. Kamu Grugier-Hill, LB
Got cut and I don't even know if he's still in the league. F

>6. Elandon Roberts, LB
He was good in the middle of the season, but then Mclellin and Van Noy took all his snaps even though they can't cover for shit. C+

>6. Ted Karras, OG
He hasn't done shit, but the coaches seem to like him. D+

>7. Devin Lucien, WR
Guy on the practice squad. Nothing much to say. D

Post them. I'll post a blank one if you want to make one yourself.

...

Holy shit, Super Bowl in 3 days senpai

i'm black. it's what i tell myself because it's true.

i'm (chuckles) happy that your shitty country and its shitty people are making strides here, like picking strawberries, and mowing my lawn, but trust me the moment those strides become more substantial than rudimentary manual labor and actually threatens my employ and financial stability (which i don't anticipate will happen anytime soon, since i'm a senior database administrator and have numerous ties to other companies in the field if needed) it'd take no effort at all to return you and your friends to the shitty clay and straw huts back in mexico.

remember that, pablo.

you stay in this country - you remain - explicitly because people like me permit it, because the (chuckles) "jobs" you're taking are so goddamn, dehumanizing and degenerate that we don't want them or really give a shit who does

you are here because we permit it and nothing else

don't forget

ps: i have a white gf and she hates mexicans

Steelers
1. Artie Burns C+
Good enough to start but not saying much with how shit our secondary has been for the past years, still hopeful he can continue improving and not get burned every game
2. Sean Davis A-
Took starting role from Robert Golden who I was pretty hype unto this season but kid is really wrecking shit, could work better on tackling and probably getting stronger but good in coverage and lining up to blitz
3. Javon Hargrave A
Starter and probably the best pick of the season, taking over Heyward's role and keeping the DE line not complete ass, really really fucking good, could still work on getting to the QB
4. Jerald Hawkins N/A
ded just when he started to show
5. Travis Freeney N/A
didn't play in regular season and signed off to some other team
6. Demarcus Ayers C+
brought in to be a kick returner but has been kept on the training squad, now hes looking at more playing time as a outside WR and doing well, high hopes for him to take over Wheaton's spot next year with rotation with Eli Rogers
7. Tyler Matakevich C-
special team monster, but not much else,
in reply to other thread

Giants fan here.

I hope we win the owl this year, because that OLine has been constructed carefully, and with Dak and Zeke rookies playing at this level, we're screwed for the next decade being in the same conference.

is this copy pasta

Figured out how to not have star players blow themselves up. It's been a real problem the past several years.

>people non-ironically think we're drafting a RB in the first round

>Zeke
A fucking Plus

>Dak
A fucking Plus

only 2 that matters. By far best draft this year. We won the draft easily. Argue against me. I dare you. You can't.

go to bed bucme

Or they could use this because we always have and It's not an eyesore

Artie Burns had a good season. He's the best pick the steelers have had in half a decade. Cockrell was the one getting burned 3 times a game.

Patriots "fans", they're either drunk "Irish"-American manlets from Boston or nu-male bandwagoners from some flyover state who talk shit online.

>niggers have been oppressed and kept down by whites for literally centuries and have done nothing about
>meanwhile mexicans started invading America in the 70s and are on track to take it over

lol niggers are literally pathetic. You're even worse than whites.

p.s. when America is ours we'll be even worse to you than whites ever were, and if you guys couldn't beat whites, you won't be able to scratch us lmao

The Patriots are going to win the super bowl, therefore they had the best draft.

Yes

I looked in the thread for a bracket and didn't see one. Had to google to find my own.

Honestly the Cowboys' whole draft was incredible.

>Zeke
>Maliek Collins
>Dak
>Anthony Brown

That's FOUR starters from one draft, and they're all at least decent, if not good. Dallas fucking hit the jackpot.

...

they didn't get anyone good

Cowboys got 2 roty contenders.

jerry is pretty good as a GM

I agree hes a good pic but dont be delusional bro he gets burned for 40yrds at least every other game, cockrell has been solid although it wont be long titll burns becomes better, either way hes a rookie so i didnt really expect much from him
pic related

Anyone got that Arnold pasta about wanting to bang girs but cant because he has to watch jamie whatever her name ?

i'm ok with any team winning this year except the Dolphins, chiefs, giants, or lions. Any other team.

>some shit that I took no part in is a reflection of me
>some shit that you took no part in is a reflection of you
ha

haha

you want to know what's pathetic, pablo? you sitting here telling me that you're something and that you matter because of some shit your parents and/or uncles/aunts did, while simultaneously acting as though my ancestors are a reflection of me

haha

listen to me. listen here, pablo. you listening? good, now listen: i'm 25, only three years out of uni (which i attended on scholarships, LOL), and make over 200k/year. i have my own comfortable as fuck house and am investing in a vacation home in florida. and don't forget i have a banging, sexy as shit white bitch gf

i don't give a shit about my ancestors or your ancestors, pablo. i care about you, your brothers, sisters, and cousins, and how little effort it would take for me to reduce your very existence into an infinitely ineffectual vacuous little nothing

that's what i care about in our present interaction

what does this mean? the strongest fan? the whole fanbase?
realistically I shouldn't have trouble with the average of any fanbase

---AFC---

Raiders > Texans
Dolphins < Steelers

Raiders < Patriots
Steelers < Chiefs

Chiefs > Patriots

---NFC---

Giants < Packers
Lions > Seahawks

Lions < Cowboys
Packers > Falcons

Packers > Cowboys

---SB LI---

Packers > Chiefs
32-28

>pats**** vs cowfaggots superb owl

chiefs confirmed for winning super bowl 54 against the vikings

>Packers/Chiefs owl

1. Tunsil A++
Going to be a all pro and starter for years to come. Motherfucking steal

>Xavier Howard C-
A nice back up cb

>Kenyan Drake B
Good third rb who can make some playes

>Leonte Karroo C-
Barely on the field. caught a td

>jakeem grant D
Fumbled a lot of punts

none of the other played

Posting the most accurate bracket, any other post other than this is false.

the average but in my case i can beat up at least 90% of cowboys fans

there are a few outliers (celebrity black-athlete bandwagers) like lebron that i wouldn't want to fuck with the rest are no problem i imagine

>Dolphins

Sorry friend they may beat the Steelers but we all saw what the Pats did to them yesterday

This is mine and I'm pretty confident in it however I think the Giants have the worst possible matchup first by playing @ Packers. Rodgers and that O line are playing incredibly well right now. I think the winner of that game wins the NFC

>Who can stop him?
A pretty white girl and a jew.

Cockrell, Burns, and Gay are a much better lineup at cornerback than we've had before and I am perfectly happy with this group going forward.

I'm actually very pleased with the defense, it's really taken a step forward from years past where the secondary specifically was just absolutely awful

Here's why the patriots are winning the superbowl this season. 2 simple points

>Best defense in the league
The point of a defense is to keep the other team from scoring plain and simple. Whether they do that with sacks, INTs, stops of 4th down, or whatever. The patriots allowed the least amount of points this season. This makes them the best defense. They allwoed their oppoenents to score the least against them which when it comes down to it is all that matters. Not if you have 50 sacks and 30 INTs. If you allowed 375 points and another team only allowed 250 they're the better defense. Only way to dispute this is if there was another team close. Like if they had allowed 250 and another team allowed 255. Then you could argue. But it wasn't close. They allowed 250 points and the 2nd least scored on team (giants) allowed 284. That's 34 more which isn't close. And we all know defense wins championships.

>Scored the 3rd most points
like defenses stopping the other team from scoring offenses are supposed to score. This comes as no surprise because the patriots have always dominated offensively. The team that scored the 2nd most (saints) aren't even in the playoffs so that just leaves the Falcons who scored the most this season. And granted they did score 80 more points than the patriots which is a lot more the fact that the patriots have the best defense in the league along with the 3rd best offense will be plenty to assure them the superbowl win.

I rest my case. Debate me fuckers. Repeat imminent.

I admire your autistic dedication, KCposter, also in the /mlb/ general.

i'd be ok with either team winning

>Brady gets yet another trophy for his GOAT career as the best QB to ever play the game

>Dak and Zeke 2 future GOATs and HOFers get their first of probably many Superbowl trophies

I unironically believe this will happen

every 4 years my friend

Giants got this. Personally i'm hoping the Patriots make the playoffs so it can happen for the THIRD time.

>will win the nfc
It depends on the defense imo

Seahawk d are injured but Russell could meme a win

Packer secondary are dead but rodger is hawt

Cowbabby d is ok but their hot offensive can be slow down see giants and first iggles game

Giants are the best but that offensive...

Falcons are meh and offensive isnt all that cracked up to be (get shutdown by the iggles )

>the patriots allowed the least amount of points this season
While playing formidable offenses like the Bills, Dolophins, and Jets twice.

every 4 years. It's imminent.

It been five years, you fuck

>tfw no one believes you

Put some respect on their name please

1. Myles Garrett, DE, Cleveland Browns
2. Mitch Trubisky, QB, San Francisco 49ers
3. Jonathan Allen, DE, Alabama
4. Malik Hooker, S, Jacksonville Jaguars
5. Mike Williams, WR, Tennessee Titans
6. Teez Tabor, CB, New York Jets
7. Jamal Adams, S, Chargers
8. Leonard Fournette, RB, Panthers
9. Tim Williams, DE, Cincinnati Bengals
10. Ryan Ramczyk, OT, Buffalo Bills
11. Derek Barnett, DE, New Orleans Saints
12. Marlon Humphrey, CB, Cleveland Browns
13. Jabril Peppers, DB/LB, Arizona Cardinals
14. Dalvin Cook, RB, Philadelphia Eagles
15. Cam Robinson, OT, Indianapolis Colts
16. Charles Harris, DE, Baltimore Ravens
17. Mailk McDowell, DT, Washington Redskins
18. Quincy Wilson, CB, Tennessee Titans
19. John Ross, WR, Tampa Bay Buccaneers
20. Caleb Brantley, DT, Denver Broncos
21. Reuben Foster, LB, Detroit Lions
22. Desmond King, CB, Dolphins
23. Jarrad Davis, LB, New York Giants
24. Zach Cunningham, LB, Oakland Raiders
25. Dan Feeney, OG, Houston Texans
26. Sidney Jones, CB, Green Bay Packers
27. Garrett Bolles, OT, Seattle Seahawks
28. Takkarist McKinley, OLB, Pittsburgh Steelers
29. Chris Wormley, DT, Atlanta Falcons
30. Cordrea Tankersley, CB, Kansas City Chiefs
31. Marcus Williams, S, Dallas Cowboys
32. Solomon Thomas, DE, New England Patriots

>every 4 years

They're a year late then lmao. I would love a NYG-NE Superbowl part 3 but I think the Chiefs would beat the Pats with how they're playing this year

4 year cycle goes 2007, 2011, 2015

Brady vs over .500 teams
Pitt - W
No Rothlesburger
Miami - W
No Tannehill
Broncos - W
Not even a playoff team
Seattle - L

>1. Artie Burns C+

You're underestimating how much of a leap it is from college to the NFL for a CB. He's gonna look like a steal in a few years. Overall it's already looking like the Steelers had a monster draft with three already legit starters and a couple solid depth guys in Ayers and Dirty Red

...

>Charles Harris

Tidy

>Patriots ended up with easiest schedule out of all teams
>Lost to the only decent team they faced

Anyone else thinking they're going to get BTFO in the divisional round?

every team plays good offenses and bad offenses. That doesn't change anything. Only 250 points were scored against them.

>a guy with bricks for hands led in receiving yards
Must've been a down year for WRs

>Debate me fuckers.

Literally had the weakest strength of schedule this year, and only time they had to face a good team they either lost or the opposing QB was injured. You heard it here first: Sup Forums will lose their shit when the Pats get upset by the Toxins.

>how do i into math

fucking new years... i'm embarrassed. I'll just leave now

this is the worst thing about gnats fans

ask any other teams fan why they think their team can win the superbowl and they actually respond with some semblance of logic or reason

meanwhile giants fans only response is
>DUDE 2007 LMAO
>DUDE 2011 LMAO

nevermind that the current team is completly different and eli right now is nowhere near the player he was back then

>excuses

>ask any other teams fan why they think their team can win the superbowl and they actually respond with some semblance of logic or reason
You must really hate the Giants if you actually typed that

You should leave now because you'll probably kill yourself when you realize that you're the one that can't do basic math.

>only play 4 teams over .500 and lose to the only one starting a real qb
Not really an excuse. Just facts

had le'veon bell not been suspended, would he have beaten Elliot?

because even delusional optimism based on an easy schedule or unsustainable offense or some other thing is literally better than DUDE THEY DID IT LIKE 5 YEARS AGO LMAO

no other team does it, pats fans arent claiming their team can win it because they did it 2 years ago, neither are hawks fans, its literally only the giants

>Jags replaced with Alabama
About time

Based jiggaboo before beans

...

I'm not a giants fan, their defense is just the best in the NFL right now (tied with the Texans who are held back by QB play equal to a grilled cheese sandwich)

I expect Eli to play better than he has during the regular season, he's the toughest QB in the league right now both physically and mentally and at the very least he of all people should be aware that your regular season has no bearing on your playoff performance

Like Tyreek when he sees a pregnant woman

No

The AFC playoff field is embarrassingly shit this year even without the Bengals in it

but I'm not a Giants fan and I've given plenty of reasons why they'll win

>Best secondary in the NFL
>Great D line
>Superbowl MVP QB
>Extremely well disciplined team

If anyone here wants to know why the Giants are winning the Superbowl go back and watch Cowboys @ Giants week 13 I think it was. Dallas tried to start shit and put in extra shoves after almost every play and the Giants especially OBJ completely ignored them every single time

That's how Superbowl calibre teams have to play to separate themselves from the other great teams in the NFL

those faggots in san fran better not touch him >:(

I have you fags over the xebirbs

Bell averaged 157 yards from scrimmage per game, 1884 yards over 12 games. That's a record, more than Chris Johnson's 2009 season. He's clearly the best RB in football and don't let anyone convince you otherwise.