Convince me not to kill myself please

Convince me not to kill myself please.
im not looking for sympathy, or faggots telling me to livestream my own death, but i want to end my existence and really need help not too. I hate myself and my life.
i have no prospects in life and im always angry. Anti depressants didnt work, neither has counseling or exercise. Things that used to make me happy make me upset that they cant make me happy any more.

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youtu.be/I7Tps0M-l64
youtu.be/R14lGgHgVJM
youtu.be/eRyR27l7vks
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Let's talk. First off which antidepressants didn't work and why?

How old are you bro?

the most recent thing ive been on has been teva-escitalopram (30mg, 2 a day) I never really felt anything from them. They didnt make me numb or anything, they just didnt do anything for me. they did however give me headaches when i tried coming off of them so im still on them.

22

Try a juice fast man. It's something I'm going to do once I get through this transition period in my life. If you change your physical body chemistry you will change your consciousness. I believe your emotions and consciousness are inherently a manifestation of your physical body composition. And if you've been eating a standard american diet, your body is likely a toxic cesspool that is contaminating your mind.
Youtube John Rose

What would make you in happy in life? This isnt some faggot question, just take a moment and think about what would actually make you happy to continue to live in this shitty world. My life wasnt going great the past couple of years. I got out of a shitty relationship and I was working a job that I hated. Move to now and I live across the country in a better city and I work at a job that pays alright. I dont have anyone that depends on me and my job has me walking outside for 8 hours a day listening to music delivering mail. In my opinion, you just have to find what will make you happy in life and go for that.

Either raise the dose, change to another ssri/snri/tricyclic, add another drug to augment the lexapro, or add another second line option like lithium or lamotrigine.

My advice to you: Don't face this alone.
You need help, and trying to understand what's happening with your thoughts (let alone getting yourself healthy again) will be much harder if you attempt it alone.

Talk to family. Talk to someone you trust.

I dont think anti depressants work for me. I used to be on them but havent been for a while. Why are you on them? What causes your depression?

i eat pretty healthy, and im in good shape. its not a matter of a lack of endorphins going off in my brain. diet and excercize havent changed anything for me because ive always been physically healthy.

holy shit, voice of fire. is that you OP? are you an ottawafag

Remeron is a fantastic new antidepressant. Works in about 2 weeks vs the old ones which take 3 months

I was in same boat all my life, more so last 2 years.. I am 23, 24 in august... I am now slowly but surely loving life! Its all about REALLY wanting to be happy, happiness is a practice. First thing when you wake up, think of 3 things that you apperciate, nature, family, love, animals, food, what ever it may be, 2nd thing is to take care of priorities, builds confidence, make your bed, shower, eat very healthy and big in morning, brush teeth, tell people you love them and apperciate them, take any chance to help others, do things that will heal your soul and fullfill it. Focus on a passion, make it happen. I started working with elderly who having parkinsons for 1 hour a day doiing boxing. I never knew how uplifting it is when a old dying man looks you in the eye and tells you that you are what he looks forward to every week. Watch alan watts, ted talk, infinite waters, terrance mckenna on youtube. It will take time, its not impossible man. I watched my mom kill herself on thanksgiving with overdosing after 2 years of psychotic abuse to me and my step dad. This time won't last forever man. Love yourself, put yourself first, if you love yourself and nature there is nothing you will ever have to worry about.

Just start using a lot of drugs. You'll die pretty soon and you'll have a whole lot of fun doing it. That's what I'm currently doing and I'm having a great time.

Oh also OP mushroom psychedelics and nature/hiking helped me SOOO MUCH also music like chillhop or liquid dnb. excercise and diet. if you think positive for a month every morning without cheating your life will change, atleast 128 oz of water too

Thanks for you advice, but id rather not be on anymore drugs than i am now if possible. Doctors have been prescribing me different stuff for about 4 years, none of which have worked, and it makes me incredibly skeptical.

honestly i just want to fuck off to a country with nice weather and not have to be stressed all the time about money. im thinking about getting engaged, but i cant do that if im thinking about killing myself. there arent many jobs out there for me. I went to school for sociology and english and because of it im 30 grand in the hole. im currently being paid 12.25$ as a chef

i used to be. The National art gallery is incredible.

dont have any friends, and the support i get from family isnt much.

Also if you need a friend I am here, send me your email OP same fag btw

Do you have a job?

did you not see what he said before you?

user I may not know what your currently going through but life does get better. Find a hobby, go out on the town. Do whatever makes you truly happy just please don't kys. You are unique and there is no one quite like you.-Sincerely another user

its not that i dont want to be happy. Thats all i want, ive really tried to be happy, do things that i like, be active, eat well, talk to people, nothing has helped unfortunately. My priorities are get a real job that i can live off of, get married, and not kill myself before 25.
i understand its good to be selfish sometimes for my own health, but i walk around feeling guilty about everything bad ive ever done all the time.
ya im a chef
please dont be rude, hes only trying to help.
i have hobbies, none of which make me happy anymore.

Where are you a chef

Find something you're passionate about and throw yourself at it. Have you thought about doing theater? That saved me and though I still constantly think about ending it all, that passion for art mixed with the fantastic people I've met have made things a lot more manageable.
You just have to find something you can loose yourself in; hiking, swimming, learning a language, running, what have you. If you wanna kill yourself I guarantee you it's because you haven't found your calling yet. You're 22 dude, life is just beginning for you. Don't waste it, it's the only one you have.

user if you want please post down your email. You say that you don't have friend well where here for you. We might be a bunch of fat fucks behind a screen but we have hearts too user and we don't want another precious life taken from this earth.

if you make a painting like vof you could get rich
ca$h m0ney nigga

a country club in my home town. Its something im good at but im not passionate about it, and if i end up as a chef then i spent my whole life getting an education for nothing.

the only thing im really passionate about is music, but if i throw myself into that im putting myself more at risk of failure, depression, and financial instability. things that i used to love make me feel like shit because i cant love them like i used too because im a shitty cynical person.

i appreciate the sentiment but i dont want my email out on Sup Forums. If you want you can add me on steam im "thesmellyorphan" * i made this account when i was like 12 and already put money into games on it so i cant go back now)

damned I checkd those

i actually do paint, but no one would ever pay for my stuff. I have no intention of selling it either.

seems like you need as much help as i do friend. my drug days are in the past.

lol this has been the only thing thats made me laugh in a while. Thanks user.

DUDE fucking work your shitty day job and make the most heartfelt music you can about what you're going through. If you can read music and play an orchestra instrument, even like bass guitar, see if you can't audition for a few pit bands to make cash on the side. I PROMISE you when you start working in the industry things get better.
If there's things you don't know about music, learn them. Trust me, I played guitar for like 5 years and then started to learn how to read and things improved. Dig deeper into that passion and don't stop until you're Mozart bro you'll make it I promise.

Well user it seems your having a rough time. Here some fell good\fuuny/happy stuff

youtu.be/I7Tps0M-l64

youtu.be/R14lGgHgVJM

youtu.be/eRyR27l7vks

We all love you user

Honestly, i got really depressed a couple of years ago and started making a list of stuff.
At first it was movies i haven't seen then games i haven't played/beaten

Eventually i ended up with several lists of junk i need to do before i die.
>movies i haven't seen
>games i need to beat
>places i need to go to
>skills i need to learn
>people i need to meet

I don't know about you, but this actually got me through a bunch of shit. I still think about killing myself every now and again, but my lists aren't done yet.

ive been trying to learn piano but im really bad, and i work like 50 hours a week so im too tired to practice. I went to a shitty catholic school with no funding, so the only formal training i got in music was a 2 day class from a teacher who brought in a literal garbage can full of "instruments" (mostly hollowed out tubes of different lengths to make different sounds and a triangle"

not that guy
man, fuck spreading yourself thin for a pipe dream
just try to make your life enjoyable

I know my friend attempted suicide, afterwards she stayed in bed for weeks not wanting to do anything. I came over with a stack of movies and told her she has to watch these before she tries again.

Long story short i go to her house every saturday and wednesday for a movie night. She's gotten a lot better since then.

ill give some of this a try, thank you.

i dont have friends like that. even the people who im slightly close to like that live at least 5 hours away from me in a different city. If i died there would maybe be 5 people at my funeral outside of immediate family.

You can find a cheap keyboard or guitar and plenty of beginners books on music theory at your local music store, and if not amazon will be able to help you. Ask around, and don't give up. Loose yourself in it man. I work 12 hours a day and still give myself an hour or so of practice every other day. It'll be slow and tedious but I guarantee you you'll see results. Just be patient and don't forget how much you love what you're studying.
We're all different but I really hope you find your calling friendo.

Find a discord group, watch movies on rabbit with people. Even if it's online, find someone to watch movies with.

Ill try and double down on the music thing.
whats rabbit?


I want to thank everyone in this thread, very rarely do i actually get some solace from the Internet, and i really didn't expect much from Sup Forums. Im gunna call it a night cause i have to work in about 8 hours and havent slept.

then that is your issue TRIPS. You are not accepting the past and not letting go. LET GO! Stop wasting valuable energy on negativity and instead on the present

Rabbit is a website like skype where you can invite a bunch of people into a room and there is a web browser that you or anyone in the room can control. You can watch youtube as a group, Netflix (if you're willing to log in) and just other stuff. Hell you could watch porn with 5 other dudes.

I like to use a website called "123movies" to watch really anything.