/heem/: jimi maunwa edition

Upcoming events:

1/13: LFA 1 - Peterson vs Higo
1/13: ACB 51 - Silva vs Torgeson
1/14: ONE FC: Quest for Power - Bigdash vs Prachnio
1/14: Invicta FC 21 - Anderson vs Tweet
1/15: UFC FN 103 - Rodriguez vs Penn
1/20: GLORY 37 - Roosmalen vs Embree
1/21: ABC 52 - Aguev vs Kincl
1/21: Bellator 170 - Sonnen vs Ortiz
1/23: VFC 55 - Lindsey vs Cochrane 2
1/27: Bellator 171 - Rickels vs Darrow
1/28: EFN 58 - Machev vs Brandao
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2/4: UFC FN 104 - Bermudez vs Jung
2/11: UFC 208 - Holm vs De Randamie
2/18: Bellator 172 - Mitrione vs Emelianenko
2/19: UFC FN 105 - Dos Santos vs Struve 2
2/25: WSOF 35 - Ivanov vs Jordan
3/4: UFC 209 - TBA
3/11: UFC FN 107 - Gastelum vs Belfort
3/11: ACB 53 - Khalidov vs Barnatt
3/18: UFC FN 108 - TBA

Previous thread: News:

>Lesnar suspended for 1 year
mmafighting.com/2017/1/4/14168746/brock-lesnar-suspended-by-usada-for-one-year-in-doping-case

>207 appears to be monetary success
mmafighting.com/2017/1/3/14161230/ufc-207-television-numbers-indicate-major-ppv-success

>Cro Cop retires
twitter.com/mma_kings/status/816417368406687746

>Todd Grisham joins UFC Broadcast team
mmafighting.com/2017/1/3/14160086/ufc-adds-espn-wwe-vet-todd-grisham-to-broadcast-team

>Todd Duffee returns at UFC 209
mmafighting.com/2017/1/3/14160274/todd-duffee-returns-against-mark-godbeer-at-ufc-209

>Cody East accused of kneeing girlfriend in head, dragging her by hair
mmafighting.com/2017/1/3/14159562/ex-ufc-fighter-cody-east-accused-of-kneeing-girlfriend-in-head-dragging-her-by-hair

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=i-CuQnbM3MM
mmajunkie.com/2017/01/bryan-caraway-out-at-next-weeks-ufc-fight-night-103-jimmie-rivera-needs-new-opponent
mmajunkie.com/2017/01/khabib-nurmagomedovs-manager-offers-ultimatum-to-tony-ferguson-then-deletes-tweet
youtube.com/watch?v=jwErdWLk4K4
youtube.com/watch?v=Tv3HaI8R15g
youtu.be/dkObgKrscpk
youtu.be/eoAn6hltVdg
youtube.com/watch?v=WO8kl0d9ALM
youtube.com/watch?v=5DlL0YvJ_No
youtube.com/watch?v=Mt4ZM6l4EP0
youtube.com/watch?v=Nx08MK_O_TQ
youtu.be/5uYv5Y8HZnk
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nu_metal_bands
youtu.be/Ft5c4sAJ_gI
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

>1 post early

also schaub

>Garbrandt fights Aldo at 145
is there a more /punished/ fighter in the UFC?

In the bout with Cody, why was Cruz throwing so many looping punches? Where did his technique go?

Imagine fighting someone for 15 minutes. Ridiculous.

I like this OP.

He literally always punches the like that

...

>Say I've got the OP covered
>This selfish jerk posts a thread before the limit

Nice news about Caraway and Khabib's manager, retard

Schaub bless brother.

Nothing better than opening up a new thread and being graced with Schaub.

Roy Nelson vs Joey Diaz in his prime, who wins?

If you can't be bothered to update the news don't make a thread.

When is Miesha returning from retirement? I want to "have sexual intercourse" with her, if you know what I mean.

the nearest mcdonalds

...

Prime Joey Diaz vs.Prime P.E.D mode
Lesnar who wins?

Don't pretend you'd ever do that, faggot

w-whats going on here user, moar?

>i felt the tap

what did he mean by this?

Why would you want your waifu to have a busted face and CTE?

Joanna would beat Stipe if they were the same size.

Would you rather fight one Stipe sized Joanna or two Joanna size Stipes?

January 28th

i need an episode of JRE WITH SCHAUB AND EDDIE, but NO CALLEN

help me out

already listened to this one:

youtube.com/watch?v=i-CuQnbM3MM

STEEL PICK WOULD BEAT HER LIKE A FLESH LIGHT MOTHAFUCKAS

who here /bankgok ready/

that's a great tee shirt idea

that's terrifying.

kek people would just assume you're into ladyboys

Pretend I'm responding to you in a "fuk u goof" kind of manner
They are solid pieces of news tho

mmajunkie.com/2017/01/bryan-caraway-out-at-next-weeks-ufc-fight-night-103-jimmie-rivera-needs-new-opponent

mmajunkie.com/2017/01/khabib-nurmagomedovs-manager-offers-ultimatum-to-tony-ferguson-then-deletes-tweet

do you not like Callen?

It's not so much that I want to kill him, I just don't want him to be alive anymore.

Fight of the Night.

do you think dom's dog can sense he lost the title?

NICE DOUBLE DUBS COCKSUCKA
>eats edible
STEEOPEEK GOT THAT IMMIGRANT MENTALITY MOTHAFUCKA
>picks nose
FUCK

he seemed sloppier than usual

One hundred percent, lad.

It's been proven that dogs can sense depression and sadness on humans via body language.

Threadly reminder

right here

the sharpest shins at heem

literally razors

Joey because he got that FUCKING IMMIGRANT MENTALITY

their heartbeats are literally synchronized with their owners bro

He would have only won the round anyway with the tap.

I think he knew he was behind on the cards and was looking to clip and drop Cody, so he committed more to power wingers rather than his usual selection of cheeky upjabs, poppercuts, and curldogs.

imagine those legs if she didn't shave for 3 months

FUCK YOU LOOKIN AT MY DUB DUBS LIKE THAT YOU WANNA SUCK DICK?
*turns purple*
HERE TRY THIS EDIBLE IT'S 750 MG OF KENTUCKY BLUE GRASS THC $10 CHOCOLATE BAR CALLED MOON
*spits everywhere*
THIS FUCKA IS TAKING SHIT THAT'LL MAKE YE HEAD GROW JUICED WITH ROCKET FUEL

Post you're UFC walkout song. Numetal only.

youtube.com/watch?v=jwErdWLk4K4

I think he's a lot funnier than Schaub, honestly.

have you ever seen him live

youtube.com/watch?v=Tv3HaI8R15g

In reverse chrono order, read bottom to top.

>when he's invited to a fight companion and he leaves to go get bottles of wine

low test

Reminder that this fat weed smoking pig could clean out the UFC if he wanted to.

wait do those guys drive after doing drugs (drinking)?

Reem

I'd rather not, are Polish hairy?

Why don't anybody have this one? It's totally suitable for mma lyrically wise.
youtu.be/dkObgKrscpk

STEVIA
perhaps

Business Idea; Every fighter has to karaoke his walkout music

And give your wife superior oral stimulation

kek, when i go home drinking and driving is a fucking way of life

god damn that album is good unironically
you're literally trying too hard if you don't like it

Stevia and weed really is the cure for everything my friend im just spreading the gospel

That's the best song of all time for me. This, "Creeping Death" of Metallica and youtu.be/eoAn6hltVdg

youtube.com/watch?v=WO8kl0d9ALM

To never have to watch Chael in an embedded makes me sad

Anybody brave enough to do a ufc impression on vocoroo?

youtube.com/watch?v=5DlL0YvJ_No

lmfaooooo what the fuck is this

it's hilarious tbf, conor's accent is at its most dublin

youtube.com/watch?v=Mt4ZM6l4EP0

the only people who like them are angsy self hating teenagers. superior fight music coming through.
youtube.com/watch?v=Nx08MK_O_TQ

mfw I realized Aldo will 50-45 Cody, Holloway, Khabib and Conor in that order

youtu.be/5uYv5Y8HZnk

>being this new
IM SO GLAD RONDA WAS BACK GUYS

now this is what i call delusion!

wow!

>implying anyone wants to watch Aldo spar for 100 minutes

ur opinion = wgaf
fans want nu metal
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_nu_metal_bands

hahahaha thats fucking hilarious

>implying she isn't waxing
mma girls supposed to not afraid of pain

I Saw Joey Diaz at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn't want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.

He said, "OH, LIKE YOURE DOING NOW, COCKSUCKA?"

I was taken back, and all I could say was "Huh?" but he kept cutting me off and going "HUH? HUH? HUH?" and eating boogers in front of me. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen milky ways in his hands without paying.

The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like "Sir, you need to pay for those first." At first he kept pretending to be doing a podcast and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.

When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually "TO PREVENT ANY ELECTRICAL FUCKIN INFETTERENCE" and then turned around stuffed weed in his mouth at me. I don't even think that's a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say price, he kept interrupting her by saying "IMMIGRANT MENTALITY" really loudly.

delusion isn't just a river in egypt lol

>ur opinion = wgaf
sorry mate i dont speak bogun

lmao this is joke

his belly looks like a tumor

best version of this pasta.

THATS WHEN THE SEED WAS PLANTED

I NOTICE THESE THINGS YA COCKSUCKAS

I make $170k. Do you think Miesha would date me?

Actually i was surprised yesterday when i've watched Paul Daley vs Nick Diaz. Nick's walkout song was youtu.be/Ft5c4sAJ_gI - another all-time best for me. It was a soundtrack for my school days in 7-8th grade.

I love this pasta

Underrated

If Joey had liposuction would he become the strongest welterweight in the world? All of those core muscles built up for decades by carrying around an enormous amount of fat would make him gorilla strong. I bet he'd look like Lesnar if you cut it off.

I actually hate Joey Diaz

Can he just die already

>3 wheels per bike MINIMUM

holy shit its like he's talking to Sup Forums target group

GREAT post. Dare I say the best in this thread

What do you think he did before fighting took off and he lived in his parents basement making shitposts on irish message boards?

Shut up you fucking cocksucka don't come round here like half a fag thinking we give a fuck about your opinion. go get ya dick sucked or sick your own dick ya momo

>mom's basement

When will these meme end

How many people actually have basements

literally everyone in the US outside of California

what does /heem/ think of the UG?

>not having a basement

How fucking poor do you have to be not to have a fucking basement?

>This guy is only 53 years old

The drugs made him age like shit