I was hired as a Data Engineer one year ago for the movie division, my division (Analytics and consumer analysis) worked alongside the marketing and production departments, just two weeks ago I was fired in what's pretty much a discreet layoff. Around 20 people lost their jobs, but there's like 600 employees working there, not counting those from external companies owned by Sony so it's not that big of a deal.
The thing is, they forgot to make us sign the DNAs, which means we can talk freely about what's happening inside the company with no repercussions. It wasn't until like yesterday when most of us had caught up to that.
Anyway, since I hanged out a lot with some guys from Production and Marketing, here's what Sony looks like right now:
The company is going through a period of creative bankruptcy, Ghostbusters was a flop, and they spent half a million dollars on it (Not counting off-the-books expenses). If their next few movies are a failure at the box office, we might see either massive layoffs or a CEO resignation.
>There's plans for another Robocop and Total Recall reboot, as well as a crossover (Making some sort of cinematic universe) >A few guy from the TV channel division visited one day and revealed that the execs over there are planning a Seinfeld reboot "with a more diverse cast and modern day problems" in order to appeal to millennials. >The Uncharted movie is a direct adaptation from the first game, Sony is planning on four movies to cover the game series >The Last of Us may be coming out of development hell, but with a different actress, Joel may also be played by Will Smith >Plans for any Ghostbusters sequel have been canned, a lot of the company focus seem to be on adapting the Playstation IPs, I've seen talk about a possible God of War movie. >A Square Enix executive came by four months ago, rumor back then had it that Sony Pictures would partner with Square for a Deus Ex cinematic universe
you're obviously full of shit but even if you weren't, it's sony: who gives a shit
everything sony touches is garbage
Asher Clark
>Sony >Seinfeld reboot
Does Sony even own the IP to Seinfeld?
Connor Torres
buuuulllshiiiiiiit
James Green
>Seinfeld reboot Do they want to fail?
Robert Johnson
Ratchet and Clank movie when?
Isaiah Cox
Eh this sounds like shit Sony would do. Why the fuck are they even in movies? They clearly have no clue what the fuck they're doing, should've stuck with playstation
Charles Kelly
an all female seinfeld with a gay guy is a fantastic idea, sony should definitely do that
Robert Lee
You do realize- no, this has to be bait.
Jason Cruz
I told you, they're in a stage of creative bankruptcy.
There was one months ago user, but it flopped (Due to bad marketing and it being kind of shit).
But yeah, expect a Seinfeld reboot announcement between now and Q1 2017.
Leo Hall
>Jak and Daxter movie when?
ftfy
Daniel King
>rebooting Total Recall and Robocop again Why >Seinfeld reboot Okay fucking god it is gonna fail hard. Mulaney failed and this will too. >uncharted film Could be good >last of us I thought that was the one game adaption they'd be steering to make. And Will Smith as Joel isn't a bad idea but I'd perfer someone else. >god of war Oh hell yeah >deus ex movie Okay that'd be cool
Benjamin Long
If they keep this up they're gonna have a case of literal bankruptcy, they need to get out of movies while they still can.
Thomas Nguyen
Have they given up on anything original? Are they still trying for diverse shit when Ghostbusters failed at it?
Gabriel Murphy
Is there plains for any David Cage adaptations? I remember them wanting to do Heavy Rain
Oliver Baker
>If their next few movies are a failure at the box office, we might see either massive layoffs or a CEO resignation.
Does management in Japan, which owns Columbia Pictures, have any balls or competency at all? It's clear that the reason that the movies are bombing is because the executives at Columbia Pictures have no earthly idea of what makes a good movie and what draws audiences to watch a movie.
All they're putting out is stupid remakes, reboots, IP, and other such trash. We also get films that pander to some minorities that, if ignored but not insulted, really won't hurt at the box office.
Do you think there is a good chance (> 50%) that there will be house cleaning before year-end?
Also, what did you do as a data engineer? What specifically were you looking for?
Easton Brooks
They still have Spider-Man movies and get all the money while Marvel takes over the creative process
Jace Martin
>And Will Smith as Joel isn't a bad idea but I'd perfer someone else
He was great in I Am Legend and I think he'd work. As long as they don't cast Willow as Ellie.
Oliver Stewart
Its the fact that this shit sounds so retarded that I actually believe it
Adam Barnes
You fucked up OP. You could've sounded semi-convincing, but you had to mention a "Seinfeld reboot" and thus ended up making yourself sound retarded. You flew too close to the sun.
Legally speaking, do you know how much shit they'd have to go through to even make such a thing happen? Sony television owns the rights to Seinfeld, but it goes without saying that within the contracts that made Jerry and Larry insanely rich, they definitely have a clause that would disallow any reboot from going forward without them approving it, which would never fucking happen.
I can imagine Larry's disgusted face at the very thought of it.
Connor Bell
Not that I heard of, they're focusing on the big blockbuster names first (I do recall hearing Paul Feig call Cage a hack though).
Other than the Seinfeld reboot and the TLoU movie I don't think so, most of the execs learned their lesson (Who knows if they'll remember it).
>Also, what did you do as a data engineer? What specifically were you looking for?
Me and the rest of my team worked alongside various departments, sometimes we helped marketing regarding how to and who to market to. Sometimes we helped Human Resources with their useless crusade against "workplace sexism". Fun fact, most of the Sony execs are pretty much computer illiterates so they ask me to help them with their hardware problems, a lot of the info I have comes from snooping through emails.
Now regarding your question about house cleaning, management in Japan doesn't really care about what the movie division does as long as they're in the green numbers. Whenever house cleaning happens depends on the box office of all the current year's upcoming releases.
Don't count on it, there's been talk about the Marvel guys getting Sony to agree to a lower cut of the profit. It's either that or losing the license for good.
Yeah, they know about the contract, they also found a loophole.
Cooper Watson
This is the saddest roleplay I've ever seen.
Colton Morgan
>also found a loophole. Do tell
Adam Torres
Apparently one of the laws the contract depended upon was changed, making the entire contract void.
James Flores
I would have immediately dismissed this as bullshit if it wasn't so insanely batshit fucking retarded that it's probably true.
I mean Sony making a Seinfeld reboot? A Deus Ex cinematic universe? You literally can't make this shit up.
Bentley Ward
>>There's plans for another Robocop and Total Recall reboot, as well as a crossover (Making some sort of cinematic universe) PLEASE MAKE THIS HAPPEN
Owen Smith
This Any other time I would call bullshit but this is the company that wanted to make an Aunt May movie and a MIB/21 Jump Street crossover. At this point I'll put nothing passed Sony.
Josiah Edwards
What's happening with the Sly movie?
Grayson Sullivan
I hope that Sony Pictures goes bankrupt and Sony only stick with PlayStation and the other sectors like TV and smartphones.
Sony Pictures is cancer
Zachary Bailey
>There's plans for another Robocop and Total Recall reboot, as well as a crossover (Making some sort of cinematic universe)
This sounds as horrible as it does retarded. But it's Sony so I'm inclined to believe you.
Gabriel Hill
Got cancelled after R&C flopped.
Xavier Murphy
your post has the air of authenticity. i work alongside kike consumer analysis types and you talk like them.
that said, despite the NDA (or lack of one) you're only one of 20 people sony has to track down. I wouldn't take the risk
you should probably delet this
Daniel Smith
>The thing is, they forgot to make us sign the DNAs, >DNAs
Ayden Garcia
>they forgot to make us sign the DNAs It's Sony so I'll believe it even though you couldn't even spell NDA right.
Matthew Stewart
Yeah and then his leaks are primarily video game based?
Reeks of shit fan fiction.
Parker Russell
Whats Sony gonna do? If he didn't sign shit they can't sue him. Sure they might be pissed but fuck em
Ian Murphy
It was a typo.
Playstation IPs are known for their cinematic design, so it's natural that Sony Pictures would want to asapt them
Ian Kelly
why? if he didn't sign a non-disclosure agreement he can say whatever he wants.
why do you think industries with sensitive data give severance packages? so that employees sign NDA's and have to legally keep their mouths shut.
this fuck up with any other studio would be complete bs, but with sony, it could be true.
Brody Jenkins
>they forgot to make us sign the DNAs
Un-fucking-likely. Also typo.
>Ghostbusters was a flop, and they spent half a million dollars on it
Another typo.
>A Deus Ex cinematic universe?
Honestly that is pretty much best game property on that post for movie/tv adaptation. A rather generic cyberpunk conspiracy story with game tie in. Might work well.
Brayden Rogers
>DNAs >half a million
I can see why they fired you OP.
Angel Cooper
>Yeah, they know about the contract, they also found a loophole. Considering this is the company that tried to get Bill Murray back through a loophole from a contract from 30 years ago, it wouldn't surprise me
Juan Jackson
I feel like a high level exec is intentionally wrecking the studio.
I wouldn't put it past Disney to have an inside man sink Sony, and take all their IP rights when desperately put for sale
They could easily buy Spider-Man back at what ever price sony wants, it's just that it's not for sale
Colton Long
I'm pretty sure if Disney bought out Sony they could legally be considered a monopoly.
Aiden Cruz
got anything else
Grayson Jones
why are they pushing multiculturalism so much? cant they see that shit aint working?
Josiah Young
what was the reaction after the first trailer for ghostbusters hit? how surprised they were? how did anybody there found the movie to be funny and thought it could be a success?
Noah Fisher
Are you high or very mentally unwell? A Deus Ex film would be interesting
Chase White
Rebooting reboots a few years after they came out is too ridiculous to be true.
I don't believe you.
Jaxson Morris
>Rebooting reboots a few years after they came out is too ridiculous to be true. This is the same studio that thought MB/Jump street crossover would be a good idea.
Its crazy enough to be true
Aiden Perez
They've rebooted Spiderman seemingly about 10 times since the Raimi films.
Blake Jenkins
If you ever decide to go on record come back to this board.
Jayden Wright
Sony doesn't even own the rights to seinfeld, Warner Brothers sold the rights to Hulu. And those rights are solely for syndication. creative control of the IP probably rests with larry and jerry, neither of whom has any interest in remaking seinfeld.
They turned down $5 million to make a new season in 1999 and the entire main cast has moved on or retired.
Jeremiah Smith
>The thing is, they forgot to make us sign the DNAs uh huh. fuck off retard
Nicholas Hall
>they forgot to make us sign the DNAs
You mean NDAs? The one thing kike lawyers will never, under any circumstances forget? lol k
>be data engineer >do marketing and intern-tier IT shit
Google what data engineer does next time, faggot
Joshua Gutierrez
Not all of sony, just the rights they want Ex. Spider-Man, Bond
Liam Robinson
No reason to actually buy them out. Just buy the important IPs and let sony die.
Asher Wood
and do what? make dvd players?
Nicholas Reed
Remaking Seinfeld would explain why Jerry wouldnt answer any of the multiple questions on his reddit AMA about the twitter account 'modern Seinfeld' , he responded to a bunch of questions but not those even though the questions were near top
Luke Davis
What is Playstation?
Caleb Hill
Didn't stop Sony's lawyers to threaten Bill murray and the rest of the cast of Ghostbusters to appear in the remake and """support""" it
Christopher Johnson
Nigger Seinfeld has been in development by literally every studio on earth since the year 2005. If you were in the business when Chappelle crested you'd have heard all of the horrendous ideas I did.
It never materialized because nobody knew a way to make a smart black comedy that was authentic for black people but could garner a significant audience from white network zombie viewers.
"Let's make ____ Seinfeld" is a running meme in the industry just like "let's make ______ with women" and "let's make NCIS/generic crime drama #2847 but more sexy and edgy so we can get the millennials".
Also OP is full of shit.
Tyler Stewart
They already tried a Seinfeld reboot. Didn't work.
Michael Ortiz
Let me guess, the black and the girl are just token characters and the guy on the left is a "wacky nu-male"
Ayden Ross
>Sony >2016 >relevant
Jackson Smith
>Uncharted movie >based on the games
But they're already movies! That's how I know you're full of bullshit.
Jeremiah Richardson
Mulaney isn't an unfunny comedian but they messed up this show really badly. Needed better acting, better timing, tighter stories and a way to make Mulaney likable to the audience.
Seinfeld is on a mad lib streak right now and is planning to make an all female/minority/LGBT Seinfeldesque show.
Lucas Barnes
This is how shit Sony is at selling movies.
>Bad Boys 3.
>Official sub-title is "Bad Boys 4 Life"
They are also prepping a part 4.
They KNOW they are making a 4th movie.
Why would you not wait a year and use Bad Boys 4 Life as the title for the fourth movie?
This is something even a retarded 12 year old could grasp.
Eli Rogers
It's like the dumb fucks that didn't call Now You See Me 2 "Now You See Me: Now You Don't"
Levi Robinson
Lets not forget Martin Short is audience repellant. Anyone who remembers him knows hes an annoying little self important unfunny hack turd and every one else realizes that during first commercial break
Levi Powell
Sony Pictures Television currently has the syndication rights, I don't think that would give them the licence to reboot the show, if they were even to try such a fucking retarded thing.
NBC would still "own" it, that's usually how it works for stuff like that, Sony are just the current distributor.
Andrew Sanders
oh god this. his book is such a fake two faced fluff piece. the olny thing he has ever done that is funny, is jimminy glick since its the real martin short showing itself, and Ed Grimely as reddit as it is.