Greentext story thread. Bonus points for OC or the full "the don" story

Greentext story thread. Bonus points for OC or the full "the don" story
I'll start
>be me in 2nd or 3rd grade, can't remember
>was a poor fag so had no vidya to play at home and no neighbors my age
>get bored and ask to do my sister's homework with her since kindergarten
>mom would copy her homework on another sheet of paper for me and explain things I didn't understand
>my favorite was math
>because of this school becomes really boring as I already understand this shit
>sleep all day
>one day principal comes to my class and asks to speak to teacher
>teacher goes out to hall for a minute and comes back
"user, we need you in the hall"
>told I have to take a special test
>ugh.png
>follow into a small room with a strange woman sitting at a table
"user, we need you to take this test. I know it will seem weird, but this is important"
>start taking the stupid shit. It's Hella easy
>fall asleep halfway through hoping they'd give up, and also bored
>wake up
>shit.fuck
>they're there waiting patiently
>finish stupid test and go home
>mom is waiting for me
"user, I got a call from the school"
>explains to me that the test was an IQ test, what that is, and that I scored high
>tells me she got in trouble after those results for my behavior
>continue to do this throughout grade school cuz I'm a fucktard
>after that year NCLB was put in place so I passed on the tests scores of that alone
>6th grade rolls around and now I'm missing the bus on purpose cuz mom doesn't have car and school sux
>get held back for first time cuz "it would be an embarrassment to the school to pass me despite my IQ"
>Mfw it finally hit me, they thought I was a tard
>Mfw I can't do this anymore
>Mfw I still went to middle school because the sixth grade got moved up to it

And my act was cleaned up after that

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=5UW99Mltn6E&t=181s
youtube.com/watch?v=9IA4IekFp6Y
twitter.com/NSFWRedditImage

kek, my middle school thought I was a tard too

>be me
>be in 3rd grade
>be required to catalog every book that we check out and read from the library
>fuck that
>Imma read all the books and not log it
>have lowest book score in class despite having read more books than any of them
>mom sees report card, makes me catalog
In one day I went from bottom of the list to numero uno. I got a plaque on the wall.

I got one more

>be me
>be in 3rd grade
>government suit guy comes into the school
>pulls out me and two other tards
>tasked to arrange hula hoops to create the most intricate Venn-diagram possible
>after some deliberation, tard #1 takes a crack at it
>tard #2 makes an attempt
>I sit back, let them have their fun
>the government suit guy shows us the solution
>now is my time to speak up
>I interject with a design that vastly improves upon his
>he goes stonefaced for a few moments
>"oh...uh, yeah, yeah that works too."
>mfw as a 3rd grader I beat the government-appointed adult at a mental task

>sixth grade got moved up
>SIXX grade got moved LOG

How do you vastly improve a venn diagram?
This green text is a lie

not really a story about being a tard but a funny one
>be me
>4th grade user
>nerdy weird dude but that isnt relevent
>big fucking loud black girl in our grade is annoying and always wants attention
>whips out a cell phone and everyone is acting amazed
>some people call bullshit that its a real phone
>explains that she could prove it was a real phone (now she has done some crazy ass shit but this is #1)
>bitch calls the emergency services
>teacher was out of the room for like 2 minutes grabbing books or some shit and all this went down
>after the operator picks up she hung up, however they traced the phone and responded in case of emergency
>mfw in 5 minutes after calling BS on a phone there are now 3 fire trucks, some cop cars, and an ambulance outside and now no one knows why
>eventually found out it was her and she got suspended

Elementary school was a fun time

by simply condensing the rings and creating more overlaps

I got a funny story
>Be Me
>Senior
>Have a Junior Friend
>Goes up to me and told me he finally saw that Zootopia movie
>Ask him if he went to the theatre
>Says no and says he found it while in Pornhub
>Wtf
>Said that we was on Pornyub and then clicked a couple links and then he was watching zootopia
>MFW

Kek. And the reading was the only thing I did in grade school. Susan B. Anthony was my shit in 4th grade. I got the chance to correct teachers a few times, and like you it was in math type subjects. Once I got put into the advanced math program in middle school I use to get in heated arguments with kids. One time the teacher sat there with a huge smile on his face when I got into a heated argument about an equation in geometry. He loved how passionate I got haha

I have a feeling you're such a dipshit retard that you think you have super intelligence. I bet you run with your arms behind your back because you think it makes you run faster.

OP here. This user gets it. Not specifically a tard thread. Any greentext story is good. Just went for that one cup it's the only story you fags would believe without pictures that wasn't too long for one post. Needed fags here posting for my 2 parter. Can be longer if I go into detail. Story of how I ruined my high school sex life unintentionally. Anyone interested?

>I got into a heated argument about an equation in geometry
My nigga, I was a geometry tutor my Sophomore year... or was it my freshman year? I forget.

I was going to get moved up a grade but my parents decided to move me to catholic "school" where I learnt about weather for 2 years in a row, then another catholic school (much better than the first one) where I learnt biology for 2 years int a row.
So I basically spent much of my time reading about nuclear physics on wikipedia.

No but I knew that kid. His name was Paul. Not Robert or -son tho.

are this fake?

My community college employed me as a math tutor for the classes they offered while I was getting my core classes in before moving to a university. Math being my favorite subject during those bored days of doing my sister's homework really impacted my life. Kek

What are your thoughts on Matrices?
I fukken hate those things, I could never understand them and it ticks me off because I know those fuckers are mad useful.

My roommate's dog is a fucking retard. Here's the last couple of things he did

>be me, getting my hair cut by my roommate
>dog keeps eating the hair that falls on the floor
>despite trying to keep him away, ends up eating so much hair that he pukes
>tries to eat the puke
>we wouldn't let him eat the puke, so he ate more hair

This one happened a few hours ago
>has stuffed animal chew toys
>likes to rip open and disembowel toys of their stuffing
>few days later, take him on a walk
>takes a shit, huge cotton wad in his poop gets stuck halfway in his asshole
>goes full retard running in circles, chasing his tail to bite it, dragging his ass on the sidewalk
>every time you try to get close enough to pull it out of his ass he scoots on his butt away from you
>eventually manages to get the cotton wad out of his asshole
>tries to eat it again

such a fucktard
pic related

Okay, I'm going to be honest. I've never heard of them. Looked it up and the online explanation was shit at best. Your education must have been far more advanced than mine. Applications in algebra and calculus. I've taken both classes and never seen that. Maybe it's college level Calc? I didn't need to take it, and my degree had no room for electives.

"You must be to 18 to post on here"

Linear algebra is extremely useful for solving systems of equations, but it's also the most tedious and bullshit thing you will ever do. Comp sci also heavily utilizes it, for what I don't know, but it's still retardedly good to know.

This is the minute man speaking, delivering OC that I've delivered before.

>be at work, browsing tinder
>match with chubby mid 30's cunt with kids, going through a divorce
>asks me my weight, send her a shirtless pic
>sends me address of her hotel, asks me how long til I can be there
>I'm at work, it's midnight, tell her i can be there when I get off at 6 AM
>she says thats not fast enough
>I tell her in the next 30 minutes
>i immediately go on break
>drive to hotel, let me friends on discord know that I'm meeting tinder whore to uncuck myself
>they tell me not to go, i could get raped
>some egg me on
>I pull up, she tells me her room number
>the way shes talking makes me suspicious
>i decide fuck it, I'm going in, do it for the meme.
>I'm in the hotel lobby
>ask the man at the front desk a question
>"Where is room 143? Is it in this building?"
>He looks at me blankly before answering
>"Yes."
>a long pause, felt like minutes, probably only seconds
>"Well where is it?"
>"What's your name?"
>"user."
>he typed my name into his computer
>It's not showing up with any rooms
>"Your name isn't in here. Do you know the name of the person you're meeting here?"
>"no... I'll just have them come get me."
>pull out phone and predetermined that if this lady was real, she would be a landwhale.
>decide that when I see her, I would yell "DAMN YOU A FAT BITCH" and run
>I text her to come get me
>about 3 minutes later the whole building starts to shake
>as she waddles to the front desk, the glass windows start to crack
>she can see that I'm nervous
>"First time?"
>fuck man, play it cool.
>"nah."

>she walks me to her room
>I enter the room, scared it's a set up and I'm about to be raped by a nigger
>She locks the door behind us after we enter.
>"Can I check the closets and room?"
>"Hehe, go ahead, I understand."
>check the bathroom and closet, it's all empty
>she sits on one side of couch, the other side pops up
>I sit on the high end to bring it back down
>she starts to talk to me
>"So you're on break right now?"
>"Yeah."
>"So you're in a hurry?"
>"Not really."
>"You like older women?"
>Of course not you dumb cunt, you just happen to have a vagina and you're easy "Yeah."
>"Lots of younger boys like older women."
>she goes on about all the young men she has fucked ever since her husband initiated the divorce
>The clock is ticking, I'm already late getting back to work from break
>I make the first move
>I climb this mountain of a woman to reach her lips and we start making out
>she fucking straddles me
>lungs losing out on air
>getting weaker and weaker, I move this to the bed
>I suck on her titties
>I pull down her panties and start licking her pussy
>tastes a bit like stale piss
>shes obviously drunk, moaning a ton as a result
>eventually I pull my cock out and climb mt Everest again
>push my noodle into one of her caves
>so loose, feel like an explorer
>proceed to pump for about a minute
>cum immediately cause I imagine I'm pumping someone thinner and hotter
>keep humping cause I like to service m'ladys
>she moans for me to go slower
>proceed for about 3 more minutes, have to stifle my laughter
>I had my mic on my phone enabled in the discord server the whole time
>about 15 friends/strangers are listening to me pump a landwhale
>phone is literally buzzing nonstop from notifications
>shove face in landwhales tits so she doesn't see me laughing
>after a few more minutes, remember I have work

>I get off her, she slips under blankets, expecting me to cuddle
>women always want to fucking cuddle after fucking
>i just put on my clothes
>I grab my phone that's still buzzing off the hook
>I unsilence it and say
>"Can you guys hear me?"
>a girl says "Yeah?"
>everybody else is shooshing one another
>I look the landwhale dead in the eyes with the phone in front of my mouth, she can hear every single word
>I continue to stare her in the eyes and say
>"You know what they call me? They call me the minute man"
>the entire discord voice chat bursts out in laughter
>She's got this confused look on her face
>I turn around, unlock the door, and sprint outta there
>It's raining once I get outside
>I have been rebirthed by God himself
>Thank you mother nature
>She texts me a few minutes later calling me an asshole
>She tells me she's got herpes
>I tell her I've already got em
>She texts back "Do you really?"
>She's clearly worried, I called her out on her bluff with my own bluff
>dumb bitches gonna be bitches
>mfw the whole thing was recorded
>mfw I have the link to the recording
>mfw I always go back every few weeks to listen to it all over again.

OP here. Here's the story I originally wanted to post...
How I ruined my high school sex life(unintentionally)
>be me, 14 and 7th grade
>new school, know nobody
>goal is to make friend first as last school was so popular.
>after first week is over start art class
>have 2 or 3 friends. Not enough.
>see 7/10 girl sitting alone in art class.. Wtf?
>decide I'll befriend her
Friend 1 "don't do it dude, whole school hates her she's weird"
>just making friends man.
>no projects to work on so talk to her.
>she's pretty cool. Do this for about 3 months.
>become close.
>time to change to music class.
>asks me out during switch
>still not enough friends don't want to be loser
>tell her no
>she's visibly upset..
>continue middle school, join football and become popular
>after rejection she stops talking to me
Fast forward to junior year
>girl is now 8.5/10 if not more
>wanna hit it
>she's in my English class
>catch her looking at my junk
"like what you see?"
>acts embarrassed
"what are you talking about user?
>I see you looking at my junk
"wut???"
>tell her it's okay and start flirting
>flirting goes well, some kissing, groping and shiz
>make sex advances and she ignores
>finds out that I like being scratched and bitten by my ex
>starts scratching my back during English all the time
>shit continues for a while until one day she catches me about to ditch class and puts me against the wall
>starts biting and kissing my neck. Puts her knee in my crotch. Anything she can do to turn me on
Cont?

>mfw you didnt include the link to the recording

here's the link
youtube.com/watch?v=5UW99Mltn6E&t=181s

man this reeks of being absolutely fake but I'll suspend my disbelief for the sake of a story, continue.

>"You know what they call me? They call me the minute man"

hearing that put my sides into orbit, holy fuck user. Made my day 11/10 would reccomend

Nobody? It ends in disaster..

i jsut said I do you fuck nugget now continue on with your fake story

just leave

u right the story seems fake or at best ''worked upon''

>Bitch gets me hard. She has 3 friend with her
"OMG! user is hard hehe! "
>I told you ladies
>I know now. Bitch has a vendetta
>start ignoring her and getting angry when she pulls the shit.
Fast forward to school trip
>saw romeo and juliet
>go to the biggest mall around after
>friends are all fags and want to spend all their time at gamestop
>imedgyandwannagotohottopic.gif
>walking to hot topic meet tease girl
"user you going to hot topic too??? Let's go together!"
>don't wanna come off a looser so agree.
>spends entire time teasing me asking which choker looks bests. Now it's Spencer's gifts
>drags me to the sexy section
>being a total tease so look at the funny cringe shirts.
>start leaving to go meet up with friends. She grabs me by my arm
"user! Let's go to Victoria's secret!
>think maybe I'll get a model show so I go
>cashier is staring at me and I feel super awkward.
>blonde chick and bf so up and tease and bf run of..
>look sympathetically at her
"wanna hang out?"
>she looks a little better
>we fuck off a bit and get to know each other.
>meet up with douche and tease when we walk into American Eagle... This is where shit gets to the point.
Cont?

dont ask just do it

i already feel the bullshit flowing out

why u asking for continue again we already expressed interest

>cashier is staring at me and I feel super awkward.
>blonde chick and bf so up and tease and bf run of..
>look sympathetically at her
>"wanna hang out?"
>she looks a little better

what the fuck are you even trying to say?

yeah that part makes no fucking sense its like OP had a stroke at the end

well by the way his story is progressing i think there might be a different issue, really hoping the end is worth it

go on

>be me last year
>19
>just begun studying history at the university
>all summer i've been listening to a podcast about pens
>the pen addict podcast
>sitting in a seminar
>sitting next to a qt3,13 grill i'm sort of talking to
>writing with the best pen i've ever used
>uni-ball jetstream
>japanese made
>nib is 1.0, because the only nib size they have at the book store on campus
>would prefer a 0.5 - 0.7, but it's great nonetheless
>writing about some boring shit regarding historical perspective or something
>notice my pen is slowly drying up
>start to panic
>luckily just 15 min til break
>lecturer tells us she'd like to skip it and leave early
>panic intensifies
>palms sweating, i raise my hand
>ask if i'm allowed to go to bookstore to buy a new pen
>people all around me start offering pens
>ohno.gif
>lecturer comes over, while i've been sitting silent in my own spaghetti
"it's your lucky day, you can use my *insert commercial pen*"
>i begrudgingly accept with an awkward smile
>pen was awful, nib scraped along the paper
>went and bought a new pen as soon as i could get out
>never talked to grill again

FIN

Pic related, it's the same type of pen

>4th grade user
>cell phone
you pimp you

I think what he's saying is there was ANOTHER boy and girl there, who were dating, and the guy left her there so the protagonist talked to the girl that was ditched and is now hanging out with her instead of the tease girl.

AND THEN they went to American Eagle where to guy was to make the guy jealous by teasing each other in front of him. And the tease girl is still in Victoria's secret I think.

fucking got it now, tease girl had a boyfriend and they both left the victorias secret. he got the cashier to hang out with him

what the fuck

dude i couldve used an autist like you when i wrote a long ass report on different pencils, i chose the subject on my own, thinking it would be easy, only to find out there are actual Pen nazi's circling the internet

you're right, but actually the tease and the other girls boyfriend went to american eagle

so you and the other guy swapped girls? i dont get it, why did you even leave tease girl

quads baby

ok this makes more sense, but who is "blonde chick" and who asked who to hang out? is he saying she looks better appearance wise or she was sad and after he asked her to hang out, she smiled?

and repeating dubs, bretty cool

not OP, im just saying from what I read it looks like OP left the tease girl because she was just being a bitch, they didnt swap it just happened to be the girl and boyfriend at the american eagle after.

why did you use words like ''you're right'' and ''actually the tease''

oh the bf stole "tease" girl, so the protagonist is now hanging out with the gf, and now they're gonna have a dual stand off in american eagle

read this
and also this
OP asked the blonde girl to hang after her boyfriend left with tease girl

No matter how hard you try, no matter how many reposts, nobody will ever make this a thing except you, John.

>podcast about pens
>talking about nib size and shit
>genuine spaghetti over pen drying up
Always good to see that there are still weirdos on Sup Forums

I meant the tease and the blonde chick's boyfriend took off.

Anyway
>blonde chick and douche meet back up. I'm back with tease slut. Go back ND meet up with vidya faggot friends. Talk vidya for a couple hours
>2 weeks pass
>decide to go from bus to gas station to get monster.
>meet female friend. Walk to school with her.
>start doing this daily for 2 weeks
>blonde girl comes up to me and asks if we're dating.
>no just close friends
(she was dating my bro at the time)
"then can you introduce us??? Her hair I so cuuteee"
Was into the scene style
>Blonde and I get get close
>dude dumps her and I have my chance after a couple months.
>start flirting and suddenly, walk to breakfast one day, see two women walking towards you
>tease and possible new girl
>both slap me
>Mfw they were cousins
>Mfw all the school saw
>Mfw I was now labeled as a man whore
>Mfwy Horniness ruined everything
>Mfw I still don't know why

Why are we spending time trying to analyze this when OP could just be more clear? fuck i hate 14 year olds going into victorias secret

please give the characters names or identifiers and then continue to use those names throughout for consistency. I want to read a fake greentext, not decipher what a mentally retarded 14 year old is trying to say.

Basically you hung out with actual GIRLS when you were 14, didnt get any, and only got embarressed infront of the entire school

WILD LIFE

destroyed
you should've banged her when you had the chance to

honest to god this was a fucking waste of time

OP is a summerfag

Under arrest for buying monster under the age of 15

>Be me in 4th Grade
>Good at reading, and sent to smart kid reading with other nerds
>were kept in a small classroom with only one door that opens inwards.
>One day when we get there us bkys decide to be dicks, and hold the door closed so the girls cant get in.
>The girls are pushing real hard to get in.
>All 7 or so of us boy are keeping out 10ish girls and laughing.
>One of the boys looks through the tiny window in the door and yells "The Teacher is out there!"
>oh shit
>The boys scatter
>The door slams inwards and traps me behind the door.
>The tard teacher blames me and ONLY me for holding the door shut on all those people.
>I am sent to normal kid reading until the next year.

Yeah I don't understand how this has a disastrous end. So a girl was teasing you, (one who was dating your brother but still flirted with you) and the cousin was pretending not to know her own cousin, and tried flirting with you as well, to wish you responded to as well, and they both come up to you one day and slap you and therefore "exposing" you? Why did the cousin pretend to not know the tease?

Furthermore, why is a 14 year old on Sup Forums?

That was the least satisfying story I've ever heard.

>be me working as a dishwasher in a new restaurant
>owner is still in debts so as long as that's going on he's living tight
>he's got 2 kids, this is relevant later
>owner always puts his and his kids clothes in a garbage bag and gives it to the company who also washes our towels and work clothes
>I'm cleaning up at the end of the night and throw all the garbage bags away, see garbage bag in the bucket for dirty laundry, don't open it but instead just think "what retard out this garbage bag in there" and put in the big garbage container.
>few days later sitting with coworkers when boss comes in angry as fuck (no surprise there, since he's always angry..)
cont.

OH NO SHE DID NAAAAAAAAAAWT, SENT YOU BACK TO THE NORMIES?

Yup. I went from reading "Where the Red Fern Grows" to "Class Cown." It was a disapointment. I finished Red Fern on my own time cus I enjoyed the reading. Class Clown was shite.

What a fucking story man, being 14 going after girls and getting dumbed? fuck i got one for you from when I was 14

>In the mother fucking school sitting casually by sofas
>we all sitting basically in a circle
>The ''crazy boy'' of the class sits down next to hot grill 8/10
>Arms around, then arms on leg, and arms on her actual boooob
>she gets uncomfortable, everyone else gets uncomfortable
>everyone realize he is actually just a perv
End of story bitches CRAZY wasnt it, wow, and it only took one message

>Boss talking about some fucking retard who threw his clothes and his kids clothes away
>some people agreeing with him, some saying they get why it was thrown away since it was in a garbage bag
>"no goddamnit this person is retarded" -boss
> manager says "user, didn't you threw away the garbage bags yesterday?"
>palms are sweaty, my italian restaurant's spaghetti
>make up excuse and nobody pays attention to me anymore
>safezone
>turned out that all of one of his kids clothes were in that one bag, dude ain't got no clothes
>walk by my work next dayand see my boss' oldest son (8y/o) with "clothes" from a few huge pieces of cloth, simply because there was nothing else
>looking like a total crackhead
>mfw I made that happen
>mfw someone walked by and gave my boss some coins and said "goodluck pall"

Man u got me hard u finished book at home during free time AND another book?? shit dawg u gotta be swimmin in debussi boi.
Next time dont be fucking weak and shut the teacher out with em lil bitch

better than expected

Hahaha. I know you're being sarcastic, but I enjoyed this exchange.

Best regards, Stranger.

yea whatever, if that was the best story from your life im thinking maybe its best if u dont share at all. But you know, stay safe.

The Don, you say?

So after that massively disappointing greentext that faggot OP gave us, the Minute Man will share another.

>be myself, but this time 15 years old, freshman in high school
>sandy hook just happened
>chilling with best friend at the park
>playing magic the gathering
>park is right next to an elementary school
>the elementary school has a fence surrounding it
>we hop the fence when it gets dark
>just looking for shit to do other than play Magic the Gathering
>check the back doors to the school
>one of them is unlocked
>9 pm at this time, go in the school
>enters into a hall, can hear the janitorial night staff vacuuming and cleaning, etc
>we sneak into the cafeteria which has a breakroom and stage
>enter the breakroom, janitors still working
>find a box on the wall filled with keys on hooks
>take a 5 gallon empty water jug and a 48 box of poptarts
>fill the empty jug with all the keys and walk out the door
>set all the keys on random doorsteps around the neighborhood
>wear gloves so we don't leave fingerprints
>stash the poptarts for later
>go back to the school through the back door
>janitors are now in breakroom, just out of sight of stage

starting good

interesting

You've obviously never owned a dog user.

>be me
>own 300 child slaves
>one day they aint there
>explore dungeon
>find hole, leads to mineshaft
>see child slaves with rifles
ohfuck.gml
>go to hell
>P
pic related, its hell (but its actually a pic from u/pknessstorm on reddit)

>go on stage
>leave notes all over that say "Tunnel Snakes Rule"
>find the school mascot outfit (think: furry jaguar suit)
>we find a long chapter book as well
>at this point all the janitorial staff is in the break room eating a meal together
>friend looks at me and says
>"I dare you $200 to put this suit on and set this book down on their table and walk away"
>put together a secret code in the book displaying a message if accurate decoded
>message read "Tunnel Snakes rule, we hid your keys in neighborhood"
>I put on suit, grab book, walk to the break room
>enter room
>nobody notices at first, feel invisible despite janitors at table are facing me
>theyre just too focused on their food to notice me
>walk a few feet up to the table
>set down book
>book touches table
>catch the eye one petite female janitor
>she screams
>all other janitors look up and scream as well
>walk out of break room and around the corner
>hear the screaming turn to laughter and one janitor yells out in her mexican accent
>"Who iss itttt????"
>she thinks a coworker was playing a joke on them
>in reality it was a completely stranger - me
>my friend is already out the door we came in
>i walk to door, open it, and walk through
>as soon as I'm through the door and 100% sure they cant see me, I sprint
>while running take off the head piece
>rain touches my cheeks
>I have been reborn by mother nature herself
>strip off the rest of the mascot suit while running
>run to back part of fence where it's easiest to hop
>leave suit scattered in wet grass to be rained on
>hop fence and rendezvous with my friend

Had pretty much the same expierence
>first time drinking with friend, only 3 of us
>friend goes all out
>pukes on floor
>his dogs tries to lick what is basically pure vodka, stomach acid, and pieces of food
>i attempt to hold him back but the fat fuck weighs 35kg
>he gets a quite a lot, until im able to drag him into a different room, we slept there
>Year later, at party, dog is licking hugging and licking
>''haha naw dont lick me in the face, i know where that tounges been''

genuinely keked for the first time in weeks
thank you good sir

the next day?

sounds fake, i mean $200 bet at 15? coded message? mexicans?

ooplee mathematics are for making jumpdiddley poo two fordaloo in scoop meep jiggly bumpbomb in the woogly gewd stew of beef math level 576 chain meatloaf coca cola

thats what you sound like with your number essays

...

>get away completely free, for now
>friend starts running his mouth at school the following week
>talking about this awesome event that happened to EVERYONE
>he has a picture to go validate our story
>eventually he tells this girl named Camy
>Camy's dad is a janitor at that very elementary school
>while he wasn't working that night, he heard the story through co workers
>apparently the school called the cops to report
>Camy tells the highschool about the story
>the HIGHSCHOOL (which was never involved) is now involved as they have a suspect
>I get called into the school office and so does he
>separately
>I deny everything
>he denies everything
>luckily he left his phone at home by accident today so they can't get it
>they call his parents
>his parents don't say anything but out of curiosity they grab his phone
>they find the photo
>when my friend gets home his parents give him an ultimatum
>"Either you admit this was you or I give the police this photo"
>Luckily he didn't fuck me over and admitted to police it was him
>apparently police were going to DNA test the mascot suit but get the confession so no need to
>his punishment? had to serve community service for 2 weeks whenever they decide to call on him for it
>he was in student council anyway and they always do tons of community service so not really a punishment
>mfw I get off completely free

...

Oo my bad, it was $100

forgot to finish on that part

>after he confesses to police and his parents know about the whole thing I ask him about the money
>he promises he'll get it for me
>half a week passes, ask him again
>he says it's in the bank, just needs to get to an ATM
>asks his mom for his debit card (lmao his mom held onto it)
>she asks if it's because of the bet, visibly upset, while im standing right fucking there
>no fucks given
>He says yes
>she gives him his card and he barely has the $100 for me
>take it anyway, it was my ass on the line

dope

I'm glad I took the $100 because he never got me a christmas gift in return for the one I got him

Even tho we agreed to get eachother christmas gifts.

I'm still waiting for my christmas gift, but he acts like he's too popular now to speak to scum like me.

yeah you're probably scum though

he might be too

Last time I talked to him cause I blocked him shortly after. I got him a fuckin pack of Magic the Gathering cards, a gay porno book, and an $80 harmonica (cause he was into harmonicas for a while)

We aren't gay tho, just bought him the gay porno book for the meme, and it was a good one at that.

Found the purchase in my Amazon history lol

Being this butthurt over a Christmas gift from 4 years ago

he prolly broke cuz yung nigga took $100 from him, now thats a great mark up from a $4.5 purchase of a gay lovers book from amazon and i respect the investment but bruh

yea we bought a Minions sex story for about the same price for our friend. Didnt care enough to get something in return, because we often just buy stupid cheap shit we find. 20 copies of Nintendo Wii Sports, all the shop had available, for like $10, gave them to him during class, and he is a shy fucker too. Hilarious. Nigga didnt even own a wii

>pug
that explains it

It's not the gift itself, it's the principal.

After freshman year of highschool he started to steal all my jokes but would publicise it on twitter and became one of the "popular" kids by stealing all my jokes and shit. and after he got "popular" he stopped being my friend and started to treat me like shit. Jokes on him tho, because now that he's graduated highschool he's nothing.

An couple examples of jokes he stole and shit:

1. we had a pokemon battle at school in jr high and got a big circle of kids to start chanting "Fight! Fight! Fight!" so that EVERYBODY ran to the circle only to see me and him and our other friend coaching a stupid pokemon card game. Even the campus police and the principal came to break up the "fight." It was chill and everything until he ALONE was interviewed for the year book about it where he claimed sole responsibility for coming up with the idea and taking all credit.

2. I walked up to the clique of black kids in our school (based in arizona so only about 20 black kids in the whole school and they only hung out with each other, real ghetto types, complete nig nogs) and I pretended to be mentally retarded and asked them to come over to my house after school to play Madden '97 on the NES, eat watermelon and drink grape soda. After I told my friend he did the exact same thing but got a ton of people to watch who then spread the shit everywhere and taking full credit once again.

It's not so much that he stole my jokes and shit that bothers me, or that he took credit. It's that I BUILT HIM and he has the audacity to act like he made himself and just drops me as a friend.

Jokes on him tho cause he peaked in highschool

youtube vid of the pokemon battle, it's cringy but it validates what I'm saying

youtube.com/watch?v=9IA4IekFp6Y

sounds like you got cucked

Not sure why you wanna take credit for that but whatever, fun as a kid i guess.