How would you hide a corpse ?

how would you hide a corpse ?

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eat it
burn the clothes

good choice my friend

Put a blanket over it

Woodchipper it in the middle of the woods.

Write on his head “alive“

You need a couple of items
>shovel
>2L bottle of coke
>yogurt with active cultures
>dog collar
>turkey baster
>pruning shears

I would trebuchet it into the home of my enemies

You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig."

Take it to the Emirates stadium to watch Arsenal.

so obvious that guide is fake

neat little packages and burn them one by one in my fire place

Actually the science behind it is sound

people who are into this shit dont go about posting methods online. that sounds retarded and like a huge waste of time.

"Hey guys, how about instead of getting rid of the body we just spread his DNA all over the place and then we have to dispose of the woodchipper...How are we going to dispose of the woodch...an even bigger woodchipper!"

Dismember it, burn it, bury the burnt remains in a remote forest, and cover it with a dead animal before I do

Whatever helps you sleep at night

ocean. somewhere with lots of crabs.

It's 2017, why would you want to HIDE a corpse? Corpseshaming is wrong. #coexist #safespace

Haha. Good point.

>mfw

There are millions of acres of wildland where you could chipper the body and nobody would ever find the remains.

A couple good rains and the evidence is gone.

Chip some wood through the chipper and the residue is gone.

Fuck man, come on, think!

Cement shoes

Wow. Never seen a hashtag used unironically.

>#summerfagdetected

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Definitely ironic. You're just a fucking moron.

That's a lot of ifs to me

If it doesnt rain.
If somebody spots you
If you can't get every single speck of blood and DNA out the chipper.

You're retarded. Please stop watching movies (Snatch; 2000; Guy Ritchie) and believing they are the same thing as real life.

I was born and raised on a commercial farm full of pigs, as was my father. We laughed at the Snatch movie for believing such bullshit.

Fact: there has never been a single documented human death caused by pigs eating humans. Terry Garner's death was determined to be caused by a neighbor who also saw the movie, Snatch.

Again, you're retarded.

Also, had you dumbass britfags elected the likes of a Donald J. Trump, you wouldn't have any of these terror attacks. As it is, you fucked up and England is not England anymore--its' Arabland. Indeed, more of London is now owned by Qatar that British citizens or the Queen.

Dumbasses. Keep electing liberal dipshits.

>Being this butthurt

why would you hide it? as long as you there is no evidence pointing at you

>he didnt get the reference
Aw jeez!

anywhere with lots of hungry alligators

at the morgue

Why must you bring politics in this discussion. No one asked dude, just saying.

just listen to Cannibal Corpse "disposal of the body"

I'm sure an American based metal band knows all about this sort of thing

Hide it in a library in a black neighborhood

eat it

keep it simple stupid

Burn it, grind up bones, snort remains

The File name tho

in a truck maybe?

under a bed?

Middle of wilderness with no roads. Have fun carrying a corpse and woodchipper for miles you tard.

i would cut off hands and head
pull teeth from head and dissolve in acid with hands
burn the body and head

>If you can't get every single speck of blood and DNA out the chipper.
Plus the fact that wood chippers are VERY LOUD and draw a lot of attention.

Put it in my bed. Nobody would expect another human being in there so nobody would look there.

Woodchipper, then use for fertilizer.

Kekd a little.

>Helle_Crafts_jpg_gif_bmp.exe

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I got it first. But you got dubs.. hmm...

chop the poor bastard up and dig the parts in different locations

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Extra points if, on a map, the sites all form a smiley face

Proof of body?

Kek

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Wouldn't she be cold by now?

Feed the mook to the piggies.

Timestamp?

yep

I want fun hoping for a timestamp

its not a live blog, retard

Other anons shared timestamps ?

In my butt

testing, everything seems to be in order.

i dont see any itt

>find dog
>kill it
>dig 5 meter deep hole
>bury human body at the bottom
>bury the dog body 2 meters from surface
>police dogs smell the body
>police digs hole
>find dog body
>think it's a false alarm
>they move on

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My family has had pigs off and on my whole life. Those fuckers would eat a body.

Not a terrible idea. I think that if they did dig it up they might be able to tell something else is there by how the ground would look. It wouldnt be as solid underneath the dog.

>Being this butthurt
not him, but i don't think you understand what "butthurt" means
his post is the opposite of butthurt as he's pointing out how the brits should be butthurt as their culture is built on lies
if the brit responded with something to show he felt sore over that post, then the brit would be butthurt, not the other way around

lurk more newfag
if you're not a newfag, you are too dumb to be here and should leave

>2017
>not knowing what butthurt means

Compact the dirt

Call the scotland yard?

more like this

What's is it called when the same person posts pretending to be someone else?

I'm drawing a blank. Fargo?

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I think you need a crane for that.

fargo

Still wouldnt look the samebut who knows. Still not a terrible idea.

Samefagging

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I read that same article back in 2004.

ask.metafilter.com/7921/If-you-killed-somebody-how-would-you-dispose-of-the-body-without-getting-caught

The balloon method was interesting.

Got all his info from the movie SNATCH. Probably mostly correct

Being that I have a boat on Lake Erie, I'd load up the body in the boat, by bait and make as many purchases that are tracible to a day of fishing.
Head out to the Canadian border, poke some holes in you and let nature do the rest.

nice

Pee on it to show dominance

timestamp

beta af

slice and feed to pigs.

see

aaw, i got my hopes up for nothing

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You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together. And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you?

Make it into a scarecrow in a corn field til the children come out singing jeepers creepers

hide it in plain sight

If you say too soon you're a newfag

Shut the fuck up faggot damn