My life is so shit

My life is so shit
>Fat girl is obsessed with me and made 2 of my girlfriends break up with me by telling them I'm cheating on them for her
>Girlfriend of 6 months leaves me after the lie fat bitch tells her
>Serious depression
>Attempt suicide by making a helium hood
>Before I get to use this my friend finds it when he searches my room for my Melee copy
>He finds the mask for it next to hood
>I'm alone at home and I'm thinking of testing it out
>EMTs and Police raid my house
>Forcibly thrown off my bed onto the floor and handcuffed and forced into back of ambulance
>72 hours in hospital
>Fired from job when they heard I tried killing myself
>Have to pay $1,000 bill without a job.

What do I even do?

That's not even that bad. In fact, that's literally nothing.

Be grateful the bill is only $1,000. I spent 4 days in psych and my bill was $8,800.

Try killing yourself again, obviously.

Obviously kill yourself, the answer is clear

Honestly thanks. I'm going to try again.

Kill fatty

Hell maybe kill your friend too since he fucked your plans and made you get another bill adding to the reasons to kill yourself

Ask that fat bitch for some cash now that she got you into that mess

>Fired from job when they heard I tried killing myself

Is that even legal?

Dude if I was you I would kill fat bitch and then end it. Not even kidding might kill my self and kill someone I hate idk.

5150s suck amigo. I wish my attempt woulda worked

Kill fatty and friend in public place, suicide by cop

don't kill your friend like all the autists here are saying. his intentions were good, whereas ms. landwhale is the one making your life a living shitshow.

samefag here, at most, a note blaming him of your new misfortune would be sufficient. killing him accomplishes nothing but causing those who love him to suffer. landwhale has a reason to buy the farm and eat her weight in pork.

step 1: fuck ugly fat chick, tell her your kink is filming and "making pornos"

step 2: have her totally embarrass herself in these "home videos"

Step 3: sell pornos online

step 4: ????

Step 5 profit?

Make like a mudslime, splash her with acid before gargling the rest.

pussy im a few weeks away from facing homelessness
I am 26 and an overweight virgin retard with no hope for a real future

I am a miserable alcoholic pedophile who lost his only chance at love when it was taken from him by his ungodly fuck of a family

no friends and nothing to do but to crawl my way back the fuck up with absolutely nothing and no help but the burning rage that keeps me from killing myself like the little coward you are

That's what I was thinking. Assuming you aren't making this out so we sympathise (which is most likely) you prolly should talk to a lawyer about that because you'd prolly get more than 1k from a lawsuit.

In mother Russia, chubby chases you.

This, You can kill yourself after, Just take her with so she can't do this to anyone else.

fuck the fatty

I have a relative that's a lawyer so I'll speak to him about this.

I'm sorry

Record her admitting to manipulative super stalker behavior and basically fucking your life up then go to the police. Do not engage with the failed Wumbotron experiment outside of legal channels if you can help it. DO NOT HAVE SEX OR A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE HAM PLANET UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

Also, if Fats McGee was able to convince the girlfriends you were cheating on them with a disgusting fucking landwhale those girlfriends were probably dumb as fuck and you're better off without them.

The absolute best revenge you can get is to find a truly great girl and be with her while Tubby can only watch. If you the girl you find is willing to participate in your revenge pandora's box is open and the monsters are yours to command.

This, If I ever decide to kms, I already have someone I plan on taking with me, been planned for some years now.

There you go OP.

ask the fatty for cash, ask her to thin out and depending if she turns hot or not, blackmail her for being a stalking shit or date her because crazy sex is best sex?

Roll for buy a pistol off the darknet. Tie your father up to a chair in your parent's bedroom and rage fuck your mother to completion for 72 hours of pure unadulted rage fucking. Yodel ass you finish with a solid creampie in her asshole. You are now one with the stars ghostrider

You have a fat chick who can give you free blowjobs at anytime, anywhere, keep her, I would fuck her in exchange for money, make her our bitch, get all the cash you can, get another job and dump her, just don't let her pregnant

just neck yourself it aint worth it at your point

what the fuck? Firstly, NOBODY has the right to dictate your life value except yourself. I don't understand the "law". Honestly it doesn't seem that bad, it could be been worse....S picture a botched suicide that leasds to paralyzed and drooling at a blank wall, MAYBE if you're lucky you'll have a finger you can operate to ring the buzzer so the nurse can change your diaper. Secondly.... dude, don't throw it away for some bitch who decided to trust Big Besty over you, clearly it wasn't meant to be. You're better than them. If you kill yourself, every motherfucker that has cut you down and shoved you aside, you're gonna prove them right.

do it OP

I finally felt bad for OP chin up buddy it'll work out

Depending one where you live, they cannot prevent you from killing yourself. So I don't know man.

Take the porky with you

Become a hob, ride the rails. Carry a sock full of change to hit people while drinking questionable alcohol and fleeing from police. I mean it can't make things worse can it?

Submit to the fat girl, tell her she was right and beg for her to take you in

This OP

Jack off in police face
Run out into traffic
Get hit by car
Profit
???

This is your best bet OP

Yeah if I were you I'd do this one

tHis.

Holy shit that's a good idea, then if she rejects you, stalk her like she did to you and ruin her life

Doesn't get any better than that, do it OP

This is it, OP. This choice right here

Go with this OP

Holy fuck what an easy life. It's gonna get much worse, so have fun with that.

how the fuck can they charge you for taking you against your will?
get a pro-bono lawyer and take it to court

This is a decent option, much better than any other ideas in the thread

My sympathies, bro. I'll remember you in my prayers. Here, have a doggo jpg.

Damn son don't finna get more dab then dat, do it Op

Just go with it OP

lawsuit nigga. but seriously, wherever you are, i hope that the ways of the universe will blast your ass with good karma. justice shall prevail.

This

Take his advice OP