Tell me your relationship troubles, maybe I can help

Tell me your relationship troubles, maybe I can help.

How can i trust anything she say if i asked her if she cheated on me and shebsaid no but i saw her sucking the other guys dick?

You can't, not until she comes clean.
If she can't come clean and honesty is something of value to you, it's over.

It's no joke once a cheater always a cheater, but she can avoid it just like an alcoholic must avoid their triggers.

Everything she does annoys the shit out of me. She keeps showing up at my place uninvited and then does nothing but bitch and complain about not having a job

>Oh, what about (insert company name here) they offered you a job right?
>Yeah, but i don't really want to work there

Three times she's turned down a job offering between 11 and 13 dollars an hour. And then she comes running to me when she max's out her credit card asking me to pay for her gas, make her car payments and shit. And when i refuse she goes and complains to her dad who then pays for it.

Going through a tough time right now, grandfather (who I'm really close with, go hunting and fishing all the time) has lung cancer and doctors aren't sure if they can operate because of his copd.

This one is cut and dry and I think you already know it. She is a spoiled brat, probably since birth and she is trying to transition to you taking over from her parents. If she is interested in going further with you it will not change, she likely wants to just be a housewife (and not the kind that cleans or cooks).

Things will probably end if you aren't going to take over her upkeep from her father.

These types of people don't change, she was likely conditioned her entire life.

Not op.
Why you dont just dump her? I prefer i girl who likes to work and have aspirations. Even i she dont work, go make me a fucking sandwich at least!!!

I'm single.

Kys?

OP
If I had to guess the same as the first poster.
Hope for change in the person and not have to change a comfortable situation. Maybe even real feelings.

I do know it. But as much as she annoys me and pisses me off I still love her.

Thanks, feels reassuring to hear someone else sees it the way i do. Guess I've got to get the courage to do what needs to be done.

Get confidence,
Don't ask me how though, it's hard. There is no one way. If you are having body image issues hit the gym, instant confidence boost from a workout.

piss poor and don`t wanna go out wat do

Satanic check em

Before ending it outright, perhaps simply communicate the issue to her. I am not one for ultimatums but these types of spoiled children syndrome brats may respond to hard wake up call.

Then again these types are often users who only see emotional attachment from material goods.

I've thought about it for a while, and she does cook for me sometimes when she's over (she's a health nut so it's usually pretty bland shit tho). Her mom just died of lymphoma not to long ago so I figured I'd wait a while before leaving her.

Naw, I know she's not going to change. At first that crap didn't really bother me, but after being together for 4 years now and helping her get out of debt twice, I just feel so done with it all.

Piss poor is pretty contradictory to going out in the first place, nothing is free.

So in all honesty you have to resolve the money issue. Pretty obvious answer and sometimes nearly impossible to fulfill but it's the only choice.

i met her ex after we'd been together for a little over a year. Said she tried the same stuff with him but broke up with him after he refused to many times.

I've tried and it didn't go well. I get the feeling she doesn't understand how relationships work, that their based on feelings and emotions rather than money.

Gives great head tho. Gunna miss it.

I am not usually one to just say it but.. yeah it's probably in your best interest to move on. She wants what amounts to a sugar daddy and you don't want to be it.

You could try to have your cake and eat it too if you have no interest in breaking cordially by offering a new relationship dynamic as "just friends" aka... Friends with benefits.

She, my wife, conveniently doesnt want to do certain mundane everyday things.

Example 1; The other day we were at dinner at my dads place, she forgott a letter and a jacket there. Today she said that she needs to pick up her stuff from there after work, but would preferrably not do it if he's at home, as if that is a factor in her picking up her stuff. We both have keys to my dads place in case of emergency. She basically tells me " I need my stuff, but dont want to do it if your dad is at home " implying that someone-me should do it.
My dad and my wife know eachother for 3 years now. If I even try to tell her that she is being a bit ureasonable , i will get something like " oh great, so now im a bad wife to you , fine whatever " and starts some kind of inverted blame game as a answer. My dad is the nicest person and nothing ever happened between them, shes just being stupid about things she doesnt feel like doing. So who has to go aftet work to pick up her stuff....yupp, me. My dad lives like 20 minutes from us.

She had the same proboem with dping dishes, when the washer wasn working, she simply stated that she hates washing by hand, and thats that. Any kind of persuation would lead to her starting her inverted blame game, that things has to be someones fault more than the others.

Or she doesnt want to go to the store if its a bit bad weather, she says sje wont do it, and is pretty much prepared to starve for her cause, if i say fine, lets not go t the store, she gets angry, quiet, sits and shakes her leg while glaring into her phone.

Its gone to the piont where i just do stuff without asking her.

On my way home from work, she could order and get the pizza, no, since she is uncomfortable with ordering food, i have to call in advance, and get the puzzas befre going home, rendering the pizzas cold when i get home. Does she say anything? Nope.

I love her to bits, but she conveniently feels like not doing certain things, and i cant complain.

You are describing normal relationships. Some people belive that relationships are for that... just money. If i'd be rich i dont care, id buy whatever she want but id use her for my pleasure all i can. All the stuff are not for free honey.

Does she do other useful things? My ex did almost nothing, then I let her quit her job expecting she would have time to do things that needed to get done, and she continued to do nothing. I almost feel like this is modern woman, they just don't provide much value to daily life.

All roads of talking through it at time of event seem destined to lead to a fight. Communicating your feeling a time not correlating to a denied request may not put her on the defensive.

Communication aside though, has this been ongoing or has it gotten worse over time?

Obviously if it has always been like this, it is likely not to change. If it has gotten worse maybe something in particular is troubling her. It could be depression.

If she is awkward in social situations and doesn't have many friends it likely could be social anxiety.

Why dont you try to "straight" hers inverted blame and telling her what you think? Its no like you are trying to make her do impossible things like kiss a hobo or some shit (i dont know why i came up with the hobo thing). Make her see that you are not a bad guy but you are not an idiot either and you are been a little tired of her attitude on that kind of bullshit.

She can clean, like vacuum and sweep the floors, but she rarely throws the trash, go to the store when shes already at home, wont wash clothes if its in a shared laundry room, only if we can have a machine. I did get her to cook a bit, that took 3 years of motivating.

If i critique her, i have to do it in a certain way and tone, i cannot raise my voice a bit in desperation if she is being blatantly unreasonable.

Sucks man, I'm convinced this is standard for modern woman. I do have one friend with a productive wife but the rest of them have that kind of situation. At least she's doing some stuff, hope it works out for you.

>Be me
>29th bday Saturday
>Girlfriend 24yo been getting increasingly jealous of me hanging out with girls more attractive, fit, better paying jobs, better college degrees.
>No whips or toys allowed during sex with gf
>GF cries if I don't spend enuf time with her
>GF gets mad at me a few times a week and won't talk much
>Makes me want to sex other more attractive girls.

What do Sup Forums ?

It has been like this from day one, shes no eve interested in overcoming some of her quirky things. Its just things she doesnt like to do, and thats that.

Trying to meddle in her defensiveness will almost surely lead to escalation. While calling her on the issues is fine, timing is important. Trying to call out the defensive behavior will certainly just cause her to become defensive.

>whips
oddly specific

Marry her. Have 3 kids. Enjoy your crappy life for 70 years

Yeah, i have anxiety, and actually taking meds for it, but i can get through everyday things i dont like to 100% do.
Shes uncomfortable, thats it.

Gf's really cool other than the fact she has no hobbies or a job, not much going on..

If it's been like this from beginning I don't see it really changing.

Hate to say it but if you can't come to terms with it there is but one solution before divorce. Marriage counseling. Find a female or gay councilor as most males will be more interested generally in getting some rather than actually helping and obviously take her side.

This is what I envision when I think of the future. #Merica #marriage

We'll, it sounds like the relationship is going south. If you really care about her, you can probably salvage it. However, it sounds like you'd have to make a ton of concessions to deal with her jealousy. Plus, she just isn't as sexually adventurous as you.

You may want to break it off (gently). Break ups suck, but it would give you a chance to find someone on your wavelength in terms of sex and adventurousness. Either way, good luck.

Dating this girl for like three years.
She've dropped out from two colleges, "not what I want".
Still doesn't do shit besides being at home, eating and sleeping.
Complains about getting fat, no job, no degree, no car, no money.
Sex ain't that much, we can onlye do one or two positions because of her knee/back problems.
I really think my life is scaping through my fingers.

This been for like three years, I'm really thinking on breaking up.

Simple one, Start a joint hobby.

Hobbies generally lead to more hobbies. Unfortunately though some people are just happy not really doing anything.

I have no relationship.

she's 19 and we have nothing in common, but her vagina keeps taking me back. I am 37.

And she has a hard time in exresding her anger, she closes in, gets defensive, quiet, stares into ger phone, leg starts shaking.
And the inverted blamegame; if i highlight a behaviour that is counterproductive, she feels guilty, but has no way of dwalig withthat ina constructive way.
On a good day she will say sorry, on a bad day, she is "the worst wife ever, why did i marry her then etc etc".

So its inconvenience "anxiety" with a bit of an anger issue and a bad mechanism of deaing with guilt.

Laziness will never change. Cut this sloth from your life and become the man you know you are.

Shes too old. Dump her

I knew it was the key to happiness, those liars

You are headed for middle age, why not. Textbook would say well that is wrong it will never work, but experience says it can easily work.

It can work if neither of you have an interest in starting a family (aka. children) and purely sexual relationships can still be fulfilling.

The reality is though she will grow up and mature and may likely find your relationship impossible. If you have kids together it likely will be a disaster.

Age is but a number but it has many effects especially in any long term relationship.

You likely may become bored too.

I cant. she "loves me". fuck.

My wife is the exact same way. It's pretty bad...all arguments end in her storming off and slamming a door. Or occasionally trying to throw it back that I'm the terrible husband. Frankly having a hard time imagining the rest of my life with this person.

How'd you meet a 19 year old? I want to fuck a qt3.14 19 year old, but I always fuck it up on tinder and don't know how to talk to digital generation instagram babies. I'm 30 and I just don't know how to deal with the generational gap autism. We match, but the convo always dies. I'm tired of all these 25+ chicks, I want a chick in her absolute sexual prime where her tits and ass will never be perkier/firmer. What do?

We have talked qbput it, she knows that its not always the best way to deal with infected emotions, but she thinks that she can handle it on her own. But no one has said this t8 her until we met at the age of 28

POF. I am also good looking for my age. not hot or anything. just good looking.

it helps A LOT if you are in shape and have all your hair. I have found it that most young girls dont have a problem with age, provided they find you good looking enough.

Hmmmm... why not getting another one then? You can make her make things that she dont like so you fight and end
>?
>Profit

Guilt tripping may be related to many actual diagnosis's and it could just be a defensive tool also.

The anger issues is just a pretty common way to deal with anger. Some people explode, some people clam up, and some people just don't seem to actually respond to anger in a visible way.

I think really she is just sit in her ways. She likely does have some social anxiety, I doubt enough that it would change the issues you are having if it was treated.

Communication likely would get you the farthest but it has to be timed well. It may take some professional help to actually solve your issue. This issue is common there are 3 people on this thread alone that have a related issue.

Its like this advanced way of not taking responsibility for her emotions, just let the emotions happen, get angry, blame someone else, the anger becomes almost like a rewarding drug, and let the husband deal with the fallout.

As long as she doesnt have to reflect over her behaviour and deal with guilt

I would never have guessed that 19 year olds used POF. would have thought that would be like using my space for them. I'm fairly attractive, tall, full head of hair, look after myself and have no problem hooking up with chicks in their mid twenties, but 19 year-old poon escapes me. How do you open a conversation with a 19 year-old?

She is sweet and affectionate and I am not an asshole. I dont want to break her heart. But it is absolutely true that age gaps that big and at that stage in life lead to misaligned commonalities. She is mature enough for me, but her stupid fucking friends annoy the fuck out of me, and her fucking father threatening me every time he gets drunk and I am nearby is a pain in the ass.

Its sad to say, but I am only staying with her for her fucking looks and because sometimes I want to put a baby inside her for some reason. Its weird.

>How do you open a conversation with a 19 year-old?

same as every other girl. subtle flattery. but I think thats all bullshit. if you're not attractive in her eyes and you are almost 20 years older, there is a 99% chance she wont give a fuck.

also, she used to fuck her history high school teacher when she was 15, so she has a "thing" for older men. and Im not making that up.

This is a simple solving problem: just move along with her, to another city or else. Keep distance with the chicks and the father.

We're just talking right now. The only reason we're not together (she says) is because she thinks that her ex still has feelings for her and she doesn't want to hurt him, also she's indecisive. For the most part I'm still "ahead" in the situation. We talk daily and skype every once in a while, she says really cares about me and she knows she means the world to me.

So do I
1. Continue making good moves and wait it out
2. Confront her about the possibility that she doesn't really care about me at all
3. Kill her ex
4. Wait it out but still kill her ex for the lulz

Well hopefully I helped some of you guys.

The answer is almost always communication, but as stated multiple times, timing the key.

Unfortunately sometimes the answer is simply to end it. If the key issue is important to you and your partner refuses to change it, then that is it.

Generally if it is a long term marriage or there are kids involved the pressure likely exists to push for change. If it is a new issue depression or relationship fatigue may be the culprit, in either case try adding some spice.

Good night.

I have a job I cant leave, and she goes to school close. So thats not a possibility, but thanks.

Here's one for you OP.

I was in a car crash (company didn't put my wheel on correctly, trial is November and I'll get about $2mill)
So. Last year, had my entire neck rebuilt.
Out of work for months for horrific recovery.
No money cause no work.
Decide to sell house and move smaller until after recovery and trial.
Wife's parents live in Canada.
She takes my daughter there until after house sale and buy new one.
House sells. She empties bank accounts and transfers money to Canada.
Files for divorce after transfer.
Leaves me homeless and penniless.
Go thru months of my recovery while living in my car. She couldn't give a shit.
Literally beg her for money for food some days. She laughs.
She files a ton of false affidavits with Canadian courts that in too ill to respond to, and have no money to fight.
Makes my kid citizen of Canada and gets full custody.
Months go by to present day.
I'm back working and doing well. Earning good money again. Now she says I can't even speak (whatsapp) my 5yo daughter until I pay her thousands of dollars for when I wasn't working during my recovery. Even tho she stole all my money (sold house was mine pre marriage property in Florida isn't joint property in divorce)
Miss my daughter every day that my heart breaks. No way to pay the money she's demanding.
Married absolute cunt it turns out.
Can you fix that?

Just wanted to vent. Thanks OP.

Exactly. The worst part is when I flip out over the negative behavior, she goes into apology mode, says she's a terrible wife, backs down. Then 1 month later it's right back to it. It's totally insane.

I think it comes down to her being spoiled. She's an only child and acts like one. I am too, but I drink more so I'm more mellow.

Oh shit, that would definitely work in your favour then. Does having a shit social media game/presence hurt your chances with 19-20 year olds would you think? should I step it up? I notice that younger chicks always ask to see my instagram and I don't have one. They probably either think I'm misrepresenting my appearance with carefully cherrypicked tinder photos from 10 years ago, or am autistic for not having one.

Dont know if i can trust her. Cheated on me a year ago and doesnt really show any interest in me. I've checked her phone, she hasnt cheated since, i believe, but she does chat with several guys. I figure she's just dating me for my car, flat n smoke.
Dunno if i should dump her, she is really beautiful. Beautiful girls always think they dont have to do shit, its fucking annoying, i kinda feel like a butler...thou i do get to eat her ass....tricky situation

sorry friend
lawyer up you have rights

Why have you been with her so long?

Until you come home and find jamal in your bed you should have nothing to worry about, barring any glarring signals that she is cheating. Eat that ass user.

You know the "battering woman syndrome" that you always think it'll get better? Well, I guess I'm in this fucking social state, because I know she'll never change, she'll be the fucking sloth she is (like the rest of her family already is, everyone depending on social programs) but I keep tricking myself.
I'm really getting to an end here, fucking tired of her bulshits.

As a metter of fact, I just got a message from her already "blaming the whole world" about her failures in life.

Where can I score some coke Sig? I'm really scared my father wants to cut off my ding dong, too.

I need a gf

Ifk if i really love my gf or if im just comfortable and afraid to move on. I know she loves me and i dont want to hurt her. Im not even sexually attracted to her anymore. I still think she is a beautiful woman but the idea of having sex with her almost feels disgusting half the time. I did love her but at some point i think it just went away. I just dont want to break up and have to do this all over again. Weve been together for 4 years but idk when that spark just disappeared. Is this a normal thing thatll pass ir should i just pull the plug now?

My advice is to stay current with pop culture, so if you're trying to date young women you have to act young around them in every sense, even if its not your style.

When I met her I wasn't even trying to get with her, but given my personality and the fact that I have no children or wife, it was easy for us to keep chatting and eventually going out on a date.

So yeah, do what you have to. Even if its just temporary.

Numero 2 my friend, I gotta man up and confront her, she sounds wishy washy

Anger and guolt yo hand in hand, and takes a bit of maturity to handle it.
And very few of us are smart and enlightened enough to sort out our own demons.
Sit down, talk about how you see the other deal with infected feelings like anger and guilt.

I made my wife realise that she has some issues, but she is bent on sorting it out herself, and i dont think she has the tools for it, which in the end can escalate the feeling of guilt, that gets vented in anger and passivity.

Thats what im thinking. Although it does really hurt to feel that there is no interest to me from her, but i figure just to enjoy it n not get too attached...btw together just over a year now

I know I love my gf, but she is dumb as hell and it annoys me so fucking much. Sometimes she would act like a fucking child without taking seriously our relationship, what can I do?

Your dubs have spoken

Example? Hot body, dull brain?

If you could some how help with the fact I do not have one that would be nice? If that counts as trouble for a relationship

It has been the 4th time now

>go home with a drunk girl
>girl horny af
>panic
>go to sleep alone

Am i actually fucking retarded ? Absolutely everything goes perfectly till we are in my bedroom and then i go full autismo mode for some fucking reason.

Blah blah blah...........but I love her.

>Tell me your relationship troubles, maybe I can help.
Leila: "What about our relationship?"
Otto: "Fuck that."

Shes a loli. Thats it

An overgrown one? What attracted you to her?