Be me

>be me
>tell hot girl last night I can cook esgargos
>yeah I eat them every time I'm in France
>me too I love them
>being a retard I take her number and tell her to come over for 9 pm
>rammed them full of garlic butter then froze them
>what do I do now she says that they turn her on
>guaranteed sexual touching at least
Also I picked them up from my local woods this morning while coming down off a good few gs of coke
Should be ok right
Give me two mins to take pic that will fit the fucking image limit

Also advice to cook the fucks

wtf breh i wanna see this shit

pree sure u cant just eat any fuckin snail ya dope

That isn't how you prepare escargot

But the heat will kill the germs?

Tell me then defrosting them as we speak
Two mins I'll post a pic that fits

If you're not trolling, you done fucked up. This isn't how you prepare escargot. If you just go pick snails you found in the woods they're going to taste like the woods. You need to a week or so to properly prepare wild caught snails.

It's coming
Also I've never eaten them or been to France its a fucking train wreck tbh

We will be drinking plenty before we eat no troll

You're in for a terrible night. They're going to taste terrible, and you'll be drinking on top of that? Guaranteed you're going to 360 no scope projectile vomit.

Hers about half I can't get a bigger pic

How much time do you have until she comes over? I recommend ditching the snails, going and buying some basic ingredients for a tomato sauce and just make a really good marinara sauce for pasta instead. You could say the snails went bad or something. Marina is super easy to do.

It's worth the risk she way above me tbh this is all I have eating dumb shit to get laid I will start a thread while I eat one later but obviously not in her view

Let him fail. Especially if he doesn't even know how to make a basic red sauce.
Good looks with your frozen snails op.

it's not the germans to woory about
some snails have toxic shits in them you fool

They're probably full of pesticides from all the treated plants they've eaten around your neighborhood. Enjoy your ER visit.

I can't I told her the snails are good to go and I've already cooked one and they are perfect
Then a nice steak to follow but steaks easy

I love cooking too much to not try and help someone impress a date with their cooking skills.

Don't eat the snails you fool! Op I want to help you but if you aren't willing to listen to us then I'm going to abandon you to your vomit inducing woodland snails.

>find nice restaurant
>order a shit load of escargot to go
>put on plate at home
>"yeah I made these"
>???
>laid

It's a once in a lifetime chance to have sextile with a girl of this calibre and I'm going through with it
Dunno between 9-930 tonight I will post a pic of me eating one

>what do I do now she says that they turn her on
You get out of my board normie.

Live in a shit area so there's no way out kek
I won't find a place who serves them plus I haven't the money
I'm sure once we are drunk they will taste fine

op i really hope you're fucking joking.
put the snails in the bin.

>once we are drunk
You don't belong here degenerate piece of trash

>she says that they turn her on
I want to know the exact sentance, she might want you to put snails in her axe wound.

Fuck you fagot no normie just have a little life away from Sup Forums
If this makes you salty kys

That would be a win

>Fuck you fagot no normie just have a little life away from Sup Forums
This sentence is grammatically incorrect.

Trial run next dubs I cook and eat one with pic

try /ck/
Sup Forums's retards only eat pic related

>Give me two mins to take pic that will fit the fucking image limit
TWO MINUTES HAVE PASSED RETARD

...

I can sense that you are salty as a whore on period week

No
Also no ranch dip

If you look you fucking dumb bitch I've posted a image
Are you new?

You're wrong then.

It's shit.

Image limit won't allow closer or bigger pics
>snail in foil waiting for dubs then I eat it

OK I apologise madam

Eat that snail Sup Forumsro

Rolling for snaileating

Why don't you use MS paint to cut half the image since you're not using it?

I'll trow it in oven fuck it
5 mins to bake

Oh yeah, don't forget to post pics

It's in oven fag 5-6 mins

I'll be here m8

Because no

Don't call me a fag you faggot. Also, bon appetit!

Bullshit. They are ready prepared store brought frozen ones. Nice try faggot.

Keep alive while I go for a smoke

>>rammed them full of garlic butter then froze them
Why did you freeze them? I mean, I know why, cause they're from a store, but let's preted that's not the case. Why would you freeze them?

Will do.

BUMP
U
M
P

And you Base this upon?
>snails
>push lurpack garlic and herb butter in there shell and freeze
How many stores sell snails user
The shells are cracked and broken from ramming them in my shirt and jeans pocket and still a little dirty

I read that wild snails have some nasty bacteria and or parasites that you don't want.

Also most places that prepare escargot feed the snails things like wine and grape leaves to give them a.pleasent flavor, as opposed to.rotting forest material.

I have no idea if defrosted snail is even edible.

You done fucked up.

Time to eat da snail m8

Out clubbing last night a few gs of coke bullshit girl into giving me number
Walk home coked up and gather snails
Don't want live snails in fridge for obvious reasons freeze them and then add butter and replace into freezer
Coke makes you impulsive

Snail rdy for eating yet?

A few mins still cooking don't want to risk not killing germs and shit
I've been here eight years and Always delivar

Self bump while cooking

Good idea

>Coke
>clubbing
degenerate trash get the fuck out

Take pics of the chick and post here later!

Always putting safety first kek
Only an hour before she arrives hopefully not throw up on her

No
It would be weird to ask for photos on kinda 1st date

Lol. It's a very good thing you're trying the snails before you serve her any. Got any coke left btw?

She's a turbo slut you met at a club doing coke that has a fetish for snails. Do you really think she has standards?

Why could that be? Because she isn't real?

Snail rdy yet?

Did you die when you ate the snail m8?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

DUDE ARE YOU FOR REAL?!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

U alive OP?

Na just ate it here's pic gimme a sec says file two fucking large again

OP - you know the only sensible thing to do is to ejaculate inside each of the shells.

If eating those fucking snails turns her on, mixing them with semen will allow you to insert your arm elbow deep into her ass and cum inside her pussy as she's sucking you off.

>Guaranteed you're going to 360 no scope projectile vomit.
I fucking lol'd

Yup Im here

How was the snail?

You're both going to get fungal infections and parasites. Extra flavor I guess

Tastesike shit can't post pic at mo but I will do fucking get file size
Using phone and every fucking pic is too large
Shrank pic but still too big
Help me out guys

Gunna have to try again
Or help me shrink pic

Hahahah, wtf are you gonna do about this? Girl is coming over in like 45mins right?

Why would you tell her you can cook snails of all things? Just say steak or fish or anything else you fucking dumbass.

...

Take a screenshot of the pic and Edit it or something? I'm noob at that shit bro sry. If you have whatsapp take a pic with the app. They are usually smaller size (I think)

Onion Rings boi

Snails can kill you no joke. They carry a ton of deadly bacteria. It's not worth your life.

Yeah but I need to deliver
I ain't letting Sup Forums down one more in oven 4mins
I ain't wanting to post my face so a pick of my mouth but they are all two fucking big
Plenty of time
Or is there another bord on hand that will acept a larger size file?
No sickness as yet I think I'm on a win

ffs get your Steven Tyler shitty unfunny forced meme elsewhere you fucking twat, this thread is actually entertaining

If you bought them at the store prestuffed it's ok.

If you picked them from outside you're fucked. You got a keep em live in a box for 3 days to let them starve. Their full of shit.

Then u can boil em, bake them whatever. I used to boil them then throw them in with pasta sauce. Goes well with seafood especially when not stuffed.

Natural selection will prevail on your godforsaken dumbass

Cocaine makes you talk shit and a egotistical bastard kek

Try to take the pic in whatsapp. Usually smaller size when I take a pic with the cam there

100% free range kek

Need to go buy some snus and smokes. Will check thread when I'm back but in case it's gone by then I just wanted to wish you luck for tonight m8. I'm this guy Glhf user.

lol faggot OP died

This lol

Fucking finaly her you go

Charge your damn phone and just tell her you fucked up on the snails you poopsmoker