Real shit my ass itches every day like crazy for the last 7 months
I've ruled out std and worms already
Symptoms include itching, little spec of blood sometimes, and a tiny burning sensation.
Google has not fucking helped me I've looked up and down. What the fuck is wrong with my ass
Ass herpes.
Fucking dumbfuck, it's called infection. Try washing your butthole, make a habit. Once you go bidet, you'll never go back to papers.
sounds like hemorrhoids
I wash my butthole every day u swine
I don't see or feel any
Second this
Have you tried going to a doctor?
My ass has been itchy from now and then since I can remember, but no burning sensation.
An old Chinese adage says "He who goes to bed with an itchy ass, will wake up with smelly fingers".
>hemorrhoids
This, dumbass. Just buy some cream, eat some more protein so your poo is more solid, and don't spend an hour on the toilet.
...laundy detergent maybe? i had that happen one time, my butthole, armpits, groin all itched. i felt like the nastiest thing on the planet even minutes out of a fresh shower. turns out it was the laundry soap.
anyway, just double up on showers, try not to scratch, obvious tips. change your laundry detergent. if you still live at home, tell your mom you think it might be causing you to break out without giving specifics. if she asks for them go "...you don't want to know" if she's not a psychotic, she'll understand.
i thought protien made it runnier. doesnt fiber make for more solid stools?
Nope. It's the opposite.
huwh, well today i learned something new on Sup Forums. thanks!
confucius say:
Man who stand on toilet
High on pot.
Horrible Histories? That's where I first heard this. Hilarious!
Anal fissure. Google it.
Kek.
I don't remember where I have it from, but it's an old joke, so it has probably been many places.
Ride the carpet
Internal hemorrhoids.
fiber doesn't do shit to your shit. it just makes it easier to travel through your intestines because they can't break it down, ergo you shit easier so you don't feel like you're pooping out a baby
Check for an anal wart
then you must not be murrican
Man who sticks his dick in peanut butter is fucking nuts
Hemorrhoids. If your turds are not round and at least the size of a quarter in diameter you probably need more fiber. They could also be caused by trying to hold your turds in because what you're doing at the moment is just so very important. This can cause constipation and if you push too hard a tearing of the smooth muscles that line the inner and outer parts of the anus causing hemorrhoids.
.
There is one other possibility which is it's actually a sore throat and you don't know you're butt ugly.
Actually he'd be fucking legumes, as peanuts aren't true nuts.
If you had said Nutella, you would have been correct.