Mourning my marriage that abruptly ended

mourning my marriage that abruptly ended.
39 years old and I feel like shit. The pain is almost physical. How do I control it while time dulls it?

You don't. Sorry Sup Forumsro, but time is the only thing that really makes a difference. You could take a benzodiazepine or something and it will dull the pain, but it's only really postponing it.
Talk to your friends. Or something like the Samaritans - they're not just for the suicidal.
Hope things get better soon user.

thanks meng. just sucks

Get into a hobby that takes a Fuck ton of time like figure skating gay shit or piano or French horn wish you best of luck user :D

Yeah, it sucks in direct proportion to how good it made you feel. The better it was, the more you've lost.

Good time to get in shape - at 39 your love life isn't done yet. Workouts and physical hobbies can be powered by anger.

Also, might be a good time to switch your style up - see yourself in a whole new light.

you dunt

>How do I control it while time dulls it?

Probably not what you want to hear, but you don't. Instead, let yourself feel it. Let yourself cry, let yourself feel the awful feelings that you're feeling at the moment. Trying to hide away the pain will only lead to more pain down the road if you don't let yourself embrace your pain. People will tell you "hur dur drink and take benzos" or "hur dur smoke dat chronic" but that's exactly how you make it worse. Just be.

thanks, user.

No problem. Hang in there and take comfort in the fact that you're experiencing the very human feelings of pain resulting from loss. Many people don't know that feeling. Whether you know it or not, this will have made you a more complete person by the time its over.

This. Almost 2 years ago my 14 year relationship and marriage ended. It's only now that I am feeling better. I am not out of the woods yet but I can see good times in the near future.

Hang on user. It will be alright.

How long was the marriage op?

this

Take some hardcore opiates. It's what I did.
Just be careful

Two words...

alcohol.

I find keeping a routine helps a lot, and doing hobbies that get me around other people doing something I like. It seems to distract me, if only temporarily.

Hang in there user. Stay alive. Time will heal it.

you'll get used to it, pretty soon you wont care any more, and in the future you wont give a shit about falling in love and realize it is just a mental prison

most people have hit the nail on the head here, you'll do very well to recognise that what you're going through right now is actual grief of the daeth of the relationship. Do not hide behind depressants such as alcohol, this will absolutely make things worse in the long term. Realise that at 39 you've really got a long way ahead of you, with today's medical science you're not even halfway done yet. Don't be ashamed to cry it out, not allowing yourself to grieve properly and move past it will really affect the healing process. All I can suggest is let it hit you at full force for now, then eventually you'll start to get a new sense of perspective on the issue in the months to come, until then sit tight and remember sometimes it's okay to not be okay. Best of luck though

I suggest you start looking for ecchi

it's great stuff

No matter how bad you feel is part of human behavior carry on. You will overcome this soon.

ever heard of alcohol?

+1

two years

heroine is the solution

When you break your heart, you cause the forest fire that springs the growth in the underbrush. When you break your heart, you scar the earth upon which you walk, and allow the ivy to grow around it. When you break your heart, you begin to understand the decidedly un-transactional nature of the world we live in. You realize it doesn’t come back. That it merely comes undone. That we drift in and out, but the marks you can leave are as real as the air you breathe.
The beauty around you, the impermanence and injustice of it all, closes in and captivates. It becomes clear that the twinge of tragic sadness that pockmarks existence is the one thing that makes you want to wake with the crows and listen to every chirp, feel every breeze. Everything you love will die. Everything you see will fade from memory. But holding the liquid of love in your hand, letting it flow to the level it needs, watching as it spills from your grasp and seeks its own level, is all that we have. It is the science and the art, the gift and the curse, the bug and the windshield. It is all we have.

You don't get over it, you get through it, one step at a time.

You didn't say why your marriage ended, but if infidelity was involved, this may help.

www.survivinginfidelity.com

Best club you never wanted to join. Saved my life.

Alcohol and young hookers.
Also, never marry again.

This op.
Divorced fag myself. The next few months will suck. It's a grieving process, a part of you has died. But IT DOES GET BETTER. You can't see it now. Your mind is constantly going over past shit. You are hating yourself or you're angry and confused, but it's all in your head.

It takes time. But whatever you do, LOOK AFTER YOUR HEALTH first and foremost and get some help. Stay away from drugs and alcohol. Vent the frustration out on lifting or hitting a bag. Keep your mind and body healthy as fuck.

You've heard the cliche 'time is a healer'; well it is. It's just difficult to see it now but in a few months, you'll feel better. Just take care of yourself and talk it out with a doctor or thereapist.

Take your mind off the ex and KEEP BUSY. Do random shit but stay busy and do not dwell on the past. Stay strong Sup Forumsro

Trap porn

Op

Treat this like a death in the family to accelerate grieving process by placing anything personal of hers , which is alot or tied to memories and begin physically throwing them away.

You need people to talk to. Not about what went wrong. But about other things as well as expressing how you feel. Be careful not to retread events or your marriage.

Accept right now that you had excellent experiences and great memories from your marriage. That is a good thing. If the relationship is to ever be salvaged it WILL NOT be now. The potential to do more damage is at its highest now and you must refrain from communicating with her.

Begin working on you.

Stay on a schedule and change the foods in your fridge , roads and routes you drive and places you visit.

I had a hard time after my break up with my gf of 4 years a few months ago. It really helped to get laid once again, I was in good spirits for weeks.
I hope you recover man. Time is always the best help, but also the slowest..

Ibuprofen has been shown to help relieve some feelings of a broken heart.

thanks Sup Forumsro

Put yourself back together, change your look, get in the best shape of your life, find some hot young ladies to bang and flaunt in front if your old decrepit ex, bask in her absolute misery. This version of you could gave been hers had she treated you right

Buy a ticket to Pattaya Thailand and immerse yourself in $1 pad thai, cheap beer and cheap bar girls.

no problem.
One of the best bits of advice I've read here was about going 'survival mode' in such situations. That means being aware of what you have immediately around you. If you have food and shelter and enough money to get by, that's one need out of the way. So if you're gonna hit the bottle and/or light up a cigarette, think how it will affect your survival mode - will the drink make you more depressed? Will the cigarettes hurt your wallet? Etc...shit like that.
So it's better to think instinctively while you adjust to your new found situation and learn to survive. Again I reiterate staying healthy because when you do that you're giving yourself better chances of surviving this shitfest, and eating right, working out can change your outlook and affect how you think.
You'll laugh at this situation in a few months. Life goes on.
Take a holiday overseas or something if you think you need it