Going to serve a year and a half in prison, have to turn myself in next week. What are some things I should know?
What I know so far: 1. Don't accept gifts from anyone 2. Don't gamble at all 3. No one is really your friend 4. Don't stare at anyone for more than 2 seconds 5. Don't keep head down, always look up 6. Don't snitch 7. Don't be anyone's bitch/punk, and fight 8. Avoid blind spots in showers
Anything else?
I've been watching beyond scared straight, and lock up non stop this whole week to prep me up.
I recommend watching After Prison Show on Youtube.
Adrian Fisher
You won't go directly. You'll end up in a reception center for a month before they place you in an institution. on 18 months you'll end up serving 15 months. after they assign you a prison, and you land there, start right away requesting transfer to the closest prison to where your family is. It will save your family a lot of time and money when they come visit but also put you back on a bus where you will spend another month at a reception center in between moves. Moving around Kills Time, and keeps you out of trouble. The longer you stay, the more people you meet, the more problems you'll have. pick up a hobby and stay to yourself.
Jonathan Sanchez
Obviously join a gang, you have to have someone watching your back.
Learn to enjoy the taste of ranch or asshole.
If you're white you have a better chance of ignoring the first two steps, but if not, please make sure you memorize steps 1 and 2.
Brayden Bennett
Do you look "syrian" in a way? If yes then come to Germany and apply for refugee status. Destroy your all documents as soon as you arrive there.
Aaron Lopez
Well Thats a Good start.. have u Ever seen big stan? Do a anal tattoo and prepare
Jackson Harris
Shit with kids, huh? Here's what you do.
Go in there, find the biggest, meanest son of a bitch you can find, and explain to him why you're there. He'll respect you for being honest and trust you as a confidant.
Now aside from the sarcasm, you're fucked seven ways from Sunday pal. You're a sick piece of shit and I hope they find out what you've done.
Guess what, prison inmates don't like people. They ESPECIALLY don't like people who fuck with children.
Your best bet, and I hope they see through it quick, is to lie. Say you're in there for battery or assault.
Have fun being on the SO registry you scum-sucking maggot.
Josiah Bell
Kill yourself. They wont imprison a dead body.
Brandon Perry
Prepare for some forced oral copulation with Tyrone.
Samuel Bennett
If they ask what you're in for, just say something like "arson". You'll be fine.
Ryder Powell
when you go to prison, keep to yourself, read, and don't cause trouble. if you act like a little sperglord someone will do something. if you keep to yourself and leave people alone others will respect you for that, and do the same.
Lucas Scott
Kekarino!
Brayden Gray
Can't say under lawyers advice, but let's just say I was depressed and dumb
I'll check it out
Thanks man, unfortunately I don't have family who care about me so it wouldn't make a difference, I'm a loner, but ill try what you said just for a new experience/kill time
Robert Wright
Do not let a n y o n e know what ur in for.... anything having to do with kiddos you will get your ass beat ...state or Feds op??
Hudson Nguyen
>Get off the bus >Go in to chow hall >Find Big Joe >Fall to your knees and give him the sloppiest, raunchiest blowjob of his worthless life, run your tongue over his veiny meat pole while his spunk spews into your throat, and drink it like a bitch >Everyone thinks that Joe's gay now >They'll kill Joe and it'll take the attention off of you >Hide for the rest of your sentence while they all talk about how Joe was a faggot
Adam Sanchez
They'll find out what hes in for, if he refuses to say they'll beat his ass and if he lies about it and they find out he will get shanked
William Bell
Get a dildo, get your ass used to taking dick.
Logan Young
This or anal tattoo
Juan Harris
My crime had nothing to do with kids I was told not to let anyone know, and if someone asks, I answer "non of your business mother fucker" and be ready to fight, get a reputation of being a tough guy and not scared/weak
Nolan Evans
Just say you got aids
Jordan Davis
"Non of your business motherfucker" u gon say that to 10 angry shitskins rounded up around you?
Brayden Bailey
I like After Prison Show. Kept seeing his videos in my recommended, so I decided to watch one, and now I watch most of his videos
Michael Clark
They all already have that, that won't stop them.
Joseph Martinez
No, no, no. Just politely decline the info. Then, if pressed, escalate. Don't use mother fucker right out of the gate. What if his mom is dead? Dude might kill you.
David Clark
I heard a fun game they play is called tossing the salad. Something to do with rings, apparently passes the time
Gavin Cruz
you should just lie. Saying that would get your ass beat, also you should tell us what you did.
Hunter Miller
Get tattoos and tell them uve done time before so u dont get the "fish rep"
Oliver Cruz
Registered retard over here,
First of all you're not going into general population. The inmates hear you fucked a kid they're going to rape and beat you in site. Your going into a special floor. Have fun hanging out with pedos and rapists. Fyi, they're probably going to ask you why your in. Have fun being a registered sex offender when you get out.
William Ross
Here's what you do OP.
Trust no one, and whenever you can in a public setting, eat glass. Chew on glass, cut your fucking mouth to pieces and keeping on chewing that shit down.
People will think you're crazy as fuck but then next time to take a shit, you tell your cell mate it's filled with glass, just like your anus.
They'll think you're crazy and no one's gonna try to fuck an asshole filled with jagged glass.
Just hope they don't think about it for too long and just mouthfuck you. kek
Easton Gray
If that's true, then good luck. Hopefully the keep you out of general pop.
Robert Nguyen
You're gonna get raped and that's exactly what you deserve.
Enjoy your AIDS and having your own mouth jabbed full of big black dicks.
Noah Torres
Jerk off to all your loli porn now because you won't have that in prison. Also after prison you won't want anything to do with penises so......
Thomas Ward
Hold a big nigs pocket, it makes him your bitch.
Cameron Howard
True havnt though about that, I'll just say some bs like robbery
Again, my crime had nothing to do with kids you autist. Thats not me.
Connor Brooks
First spend what time you can learning about retardation ALL YOU CAN, study it, learn it, then live it. From the moment they take you till you are free act like a retard, screech, play with toys, retard strength will come with it. Soon you will be master of the others through your retard strength, taking all as minions to the retard king.
Caleb Rogers
Also does anyone know anything about this "good behavior" shit? What do I do for good behavior? How much earlier would I get released?
Christopher Lewis
Pretend to be retarded
Dylan Brown
find biggest guy and suck his dick swallow cum and deepthroat.. later tell everybody that it happened the other way around (he sucked yours). people will find you badaass
Isaiah Hernandez
Sex offences are kill on site. Be prepared to fight for your life when the prisoners find out, and they will find out
Alexander Roberts
>taking all as minions to the retard king
kekek, made me spit out my coffee user you fuck
Jayden Ramirez
"Minor" it's a fucking kid to prisoners. Try calling big bubba and PEPE the pile driver that inside. It's your word against every fucking pedo your locked up with. You fucking retard sex offender.
Cameron Sanchez
He said he didn't do anything with kids like 9 times
Kevin Russell
If they give you a band on your arm, people will know your offense by the color of the band. So your SOL and may have to fight. If anything say the minor was 17. That's you're only hope.
Michael Smith
Sex offender don't get off early and given the circumstances of prisons being privatized your likely to serve your whole sentence.
Joshua Jackson
Can you read? He said nothing with kids you dumb fuck. Summertime.
Daniel Morris
this d e s u
Matthew Torres
Bait
Dominic Brown
He's in for robbery retard. Read the goddamn thread
Mason Stewart
For the last time I'm. Not a sex offender and my crime has nothing to do with kids if this is some sort of trick to get me to admit what I actually did, it ain't working
Hudson Powell
It doesn't matter
Christian Hall
Dude, prison gay is a thing. Chances are Big Joe already has three dudes giving him brain with each meal.
This shit wouldn't land at all. You'd just be giving away the milk for free.
Andrew Moore
Minor doesn't change shit you fuckwit. He's a registered sex offender. That's all the fucking prisoners need to beat him up.
Wyatt Thompson
look at
David Peterson
>Be newfag on Sup Forums >"SUMMERTIME >Yay now I fit in
Logan Fisher
I recommend the TV show "60 days In". Shows you the perspective of like 7 different people at once. And you'll find out what to do and what not to do
Justin Davis
He is in for robbery. Minor had nothing to do with it bitch.
Tyler Howard
Wtf does summertime mean? See I'm the real newfag.
Alexander Perez
So the final conclusion just tell us What u are in for user
Carter Barnes
Yes because if you tell 4chin the details we'll know who you are. Obviously a kiddie fiddler
Jeremiah Parker
It depends on your sentence and the nature of your crime. You should have asked your lawyer stupid.
Are you going to prison or jail, big difference. PPL in jail are looking to get out and dont want to start shit, people in prison dgaf and it is much more violent.
Hope you get ass raped user, forced oral copulation with a minor, have fun shithead.
Jose Rogers
Read thread. That was a troll
Jose Campbell
The guy obvs is a diddler. Never in my whole time in Sup Forums have I heard of someone going to prison for robbery and ask us for advice. This is as bad as the kid from Vidya who went to juvey for stabbing someone in a mall because he got fired from GameStop.
Mason Brooks
>with minor
yea anything over 13 is not a kid huh faggot?
Just fucking kill yourself. When you get out prepare for a lifetime of flipping burgers felon.
Evan Hughes
>Gay for the stay >Straight at the gate
Come to terms with that
Kevin Long
You sir, are a horses ass.
Carter Sanders
If you tell us what you did we can help you better.
Christian King
make me you mongoloid baby raping period eating bushnigger
Jaxson Baker
do sex offenders live in general population in murica? we have seperate prisons for them here
Connor Jackson
He never told us what he's in for.
Blake Cook
Just tell us what u did OP! We are here to help you and we cant help us unless u cooperate
Ryan Russell
Yes
Nathaniel Hill
Everyone is gay in prison. Sometimes county, depending on how long your stay is.
Joseph Reyes
Separate. I am a probation officer who works specifically with young men who have sex with minors. Those kids have their whole lives fucked up because they could keep the peepee in their pants.
Jose Baker
don't trade wit people. don't touch other peoples things. don't get involved in fights.
Anthony Edwards
Okay I lied I did touch a kid.
Jacob Ross
Minor implies underage. A prisoner with an iq of 60 doesn't give a fuck
Bentley Jenkins
It's not as bad as television and movies would have you believe, at least not in the minimum security places.
Just follow the Golden Rule and you'll be fine.
Levi Cooper
Depending on the prison and what you're in for, most of those rules probably won't apply.
Those rules are more for like, federal rape-me-in-the-ass prison for committing repeat felonies, murders, rapes, violent crimes, etc.
if you're just going to county for a year and a half the people there will mostly be nonviolent people who did stupid shit and are just trying to mind their own business, and almost none of your rules really matter.
In jail 99% just want to get out without getting more time on and don't start shit. If your a dickhead you will get fucked up eventually. Even if you are a bad ass a bad ass cant do shit against 40 gorillias in the shower.
Robert Ross
Also 10. Dont touch kids
Carter Phillips
explain to them that it was a teenager, depending on how old you are it will be less. Let me assure you anyone saying that you can lie about it has not been to prison. From reading what you posted it didnt sound like pedophilia but more fooling around with younger teenage girls. You'll get beat but that's what you get for being a fucking sperg.
Cameron James
>40 gorillas in the shower >Pull out a banana and toss it in the corner
You were saying?
Jose Wilson
Insert false teeth into your anus every morning and bend with your knees not your back.
Connor Wilson
Bananas are like hard cash in jail now since cigs are outlawed.
Isaiah Price
I do this every morning but thanks. brah
Evan Scott
Hahaha! You're fucked!
Tyler King
>apes will fight gorillas for banans >24 hour lockdown >locked down for 24 hrs with a horny tyrone >smh
Brody White
you'll go to jail first. you will be locked down for so long, mostly in your cell, that by the time you get to prison you will be thankful because you will be able to move around easier, have more access to things. Your biggest problem is not rape. It happens, but it isn't nearly as bad as people would lead you to believe. Your biggest problem will be gangs and gang members. Have an answer when someone asks you about your set. Have the right answer. This is also the reason you don't just act like a bad ass unless you are one, and if you are then you're getting poked, so don't be a bad ass. Just handle your business and stay out of people's way. You're going to get bored. You're going to want to talk to people. This is a mistake. The food will suck. You're going to want your zoom zooms and wham whams. These are your ramen noodles, and other food items. Other people are also going to want these things. They are traded as currency. Three soups are 1 prison dollar, but it can change based on the prison. Stamps are also used as currency, and because it's easier to smuggle a pack of stamps than it is to carry thirty soups, stamps are the go to for money. People are going to steal from you. If they're in a gang, just learn to deal with it or you could die in your sleep. If you drop the soap, rape is not the first thing that is going to happen. Laughter, people will joke on you, but whatever you do, don't try and get the soap back. That soap is gone, let it go. You need to get money on your books from the outside because earning it on the inside is a fucking joke. If you want your good time then you can't have a hussle, but hussles not only give you something to do but are also profitable. Never give anyone your junie cakes. Those are your ass cheeks, and you should not offer them to people. Never masturbate with other people around. This can get you stabbed. Tell your celly, your cell mate, that you're "going on a date" to let them know to not be around.
Leo Allen
Watch the movie "Big Stan". Literally your situation.
Enjoy anal.
Henry Russell
Dude good luck. Typically when they find out they're gonna beat your ass possibly try to kill you. You better pray no one finds out.
Wyatt Lee
pull a banana out of where? you're in the shower you fucking mong, gonna keep a banana up your ass? that's basically an invitation showing how much you like shit up your ass