Feels thread?
>be me
>don't do anything
>eat, sleep, repeat
>want to go out and be social
>only really feel comfortable with myself when im drunk
>existential dread hits hard
>anxiety attacks brought on by fear of wasting my life going to school and getting a job
>want to travel around the world and climb things
4 AM, if I don't finish this assignment, I'm not graduating. I can't stop thinking about her. How is your night going, user?
classic night with classic self destructive thoughts.
is she thinking about you?
i used to be so happy with myself because i knew life was too short not to be. now i have a boyfriend and i am constantly thinking about how i am physically inferior to every girl he knows, has ever slept with, etc, why did he have to end up with me and why couldnt i have just been born like the women i fap to on b
>is she thinking about you?
Unfortunately not. I've thought about her every day for the past 13 months. I can't seem to get over the fact that she will never love me back. Seeing her everyday for that time hasn't helped. But after I move, maybe not seeing her will help me finally get over her. But it still hurts now more than she could possibly imagine. Oneitis sucks.
Remember, he picked you, not any other girl he knows or has fapped to on Sup Forums.
Posting the worst feels I have
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my brain just keeps going back to a feels post one time that said "one day i will find a decent girl and settle down but i will always remember the one that gave me the time of my life." i dont want to be that safe, decent, plain girl. i feel like he is settling and idk why i keep telling myself that
fuck
>women i fap to on b
> i dont want to be that safe, decent, plain girl
???
oh right i forgot bisexuals arent real...blew my cover (x files theme plays)
I was going to start a new thread but this seems like a better place to vent.
Man I'm fucking exhausted. I try really hard to make good things happen and just everything has gone to shit in like a months time. This isn't really for anyone to read or anything I just need to vent and I have literally no one to talk to.
First, my livestream on YouTube got revoked for 90 days for streaming the berserk game, which wasn't a huge deal but my subscribers started leaving and looking at my channel just makes me feel defeated and I hate that this made me not want to do it anymore at all.
Then my car started fucking up. Don't have the money to fix it because we just bought my wife a new car and had to fix it up not long ago, plus we both work in places that die down over summer so not a lot of money right now.
Cont in a sec with the other half.
Also my wife is so busy she just comes home and complains about work, then sits on her phone till she falls asleep. Meanwhile in the mornings she gets up and freaks out every other day because she doesn't do laundry so she never has clean clothes, and she never does dishes so her solution is to just not fucking eat if there isn't something quick and easy. So I spent my whole day off doing all our laundry and dishes and didn't even get as much as a thank you. She just said "word" and went to sleep.
No big deal though because I got these courses on Blender I needed to finish. Which was all fine and dandy until an hour ago when my laptop crashed and now refuses to boot saying it needs recovery. I have so much music and art work I did for these games on there.
Whatever, so I spend the better part of an hour at 2 am looking for a damn USB drive to set up, then I go to boot up our backup laptop and set up a windows recovery USB only to find out that since my mother in law dropped it, something is fucked with the internet card and it won't get on wifi or hard wire. I have no way of downloading my recovery file now.
That game was (hopefully) going to be the first step to my ticket out of god damn good service.
Whatever probably not, but it was the first real avenue I had for a career path in years and I'm just really fucking defeated and exhausted of this life. I feel like I work really hard and get neither gratitude or anything to show for it.
Food service*
There's a girl who likes me and has for the past couple of years. She's pretty plain and I can do better but I don't know if I really want to. I've dated much more attractive girls but it was always a constant worry that one of us would cheat on the other. I'm terrible with commitment but I know she would remain loyal. I don't know what to do, I feel like I'm just leading her on. What do I do? I feel like a horrible person because she's everything I should want but at the same time I only feel actually attracted to her when she starts to drift away. Am I a horrible person?
I spent my whole childhood and teenage years dreaming about the day I'll become the next hot young star and now I'm in my 30's working on the bottom floor of a desk. Every now and then I'll still see news about all the popular current new artists and singers and actors and I think to myself "I'm gonna be like them when I grow up" until I realize that I did my growing up when I decided to let myself fall into this
you should talk to your wife about how you're feeling first, I'd put that as top priority so that it doesn't turn into a full blown divorce months down the line
Well user, you sound like you do work very hard and I want to show you gratitude for doing this for yourself. It all shows you are a good, motivated, selfless, and ambitious person. I am sure I don't have to tell you this because you'll do it anyway but, don't let this stop you even though it seems everything is going to shit.
I'm not married I'm just wondering if I should start to settle down with this girl or continue hooking up and living my life for a couple more years
Don't jump into anything until you know beyond a reasonable doubt. Everyone gets hurt less that way. And tell her that's your plan.
do what your gut tells you, its so easy to live in your head with stuff like this. make a decision and go with it
Why did you make feel so much?
Oh fuck, I thought you were that user above you that was having all the problems with his life. Disregard all I said
You're probably right, but I'm starting to get the feeling that's the only option. She constantly gets pissed and tells me we need a plan to get out of this town, but whenever I bring up places or potential avenues she just gives me reasons why they won't work, and then gives no sort of input to the planning. She's always pissed that we're standing still, but she doesn't do anything to try and fix that and shoots down every attempt I make to move us along. She doesn't plan, she doesn't prepare, she doesn't think ahead, and I'm starting to feel like the main reason I'm standing in one place is because she's holding me back.
I love her with all my heart. We grew up together. I've always loved her. But I don't even know how to approach these problems with her.
Thanks dude. I really did need to hear that. I won't stop, it was never really an option to stop, but everything just kinda piled up at once and I felt really weak tonight. Tomorrow's another day though.
Thank you.
If she's really still in love with you she'll be understanding and voice her own opinions, if she doesn't try to fix anything then the marriage is probably doomed. Remember, it takes two people to be in a relationship
Also I'm dumping some feels
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Yeah you're right. Nothing is going to just magically fix itself. I appreciate you my dude.
Not receiving a thank you doesn't mean she isn't thankful. Just ask her. You guys are going through this together and you have the support and love probabkybalmist everyone else in this thread doesn't have. I hope things get better for you
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Any greentext? I'm listening, user.
nah im just gonna delete the post user.
same thing here except i actually love the plain girl. i'm slowly introducing her into drugs, got her into cigarettes, got her to try weed and nos next is mdma
Sat up all night with my grandfather who suffers from ptsd, he was afraid that the "gooks" were on to our position so he was sitting at the kitchen table with a loaded handgun waiting. His minds starting to go even more every day. He started rocking back and forth whispering what I could only assume were prayers. I could finally make out the words "lord please let me get home to Donna". Donna is my grandmother's name, I hugged him and he whispered to me "Can you stay up and watch for when she comes home I don't want her getting ambushed". I said okay grandpa. My grandmother died 3 years ago....dont like this memory
Not sure if you're still here. Keeping her close is unhealthy for you in the long run. Getting away will help, but I can tell you from experience it's like a small band aid. But it's my experience, maybe you're more different than me.
It'll hurt letting her go, and in a few months you'll think about her less often. Slowly this continues, and later you'll feel like you've finally moved on. But there's always that one sight, smell, memory, or night that reminds you. For just a few seconds, she comes back in your thoughts. And you sit there, and the only thing you can say is:
>fuck
It's been almost 5 years. Hopefully this doesn't continue for another 5.
OP, just find yourself a Decker.
RIP DECKER
Yeah. I'm still here. It hurts because I can't help but feel that I'm in love with her. I don't want anyone else, I want her. I think what's bothering me is the uncertainty that I may or may not be leaving for greener pastures. What I mean is that I may leave, meet some people, move on, and she'll eventually become a memory. But there is also the possibility that I may not end up moving on, and I'll continue to think about her for the rest of my days, and knowing that I'll never see her again scares me.
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I'm in a similar boat as you user. It's been a little over a year now and I still think about her everyday. We're still friends so I see her often. But every time it hurts. I lost my best friend and probably will never have a connection like that again with anyone. And that shit scares me. Fuck