Really can't figure out how to resolve family issues stemming from my sister marrying my best man, and then confessing to him about some experimenting we did when we were younger. It's a ticking time bomb. They haven't talked to me in years and the family grows ever more curious as to how we suddenly fell out. They won't even allow my name to be spoken around them.
Just want to an hero but have responsibility/family and can't bring myself to destroy/shame them like that.
i can't be the first to demand you tell us about raping your sister, can i?
sorry bro, not much you can do about it now. If you feel like this isn't something you can come clean to your family about (and try to portray it as something naughty kids do and nothing more), then your best option is to cut ties on your own terms
First one in this thread. Get fucked. I'm not a pedo. I blame my parents for several reasons, but I don't see any relevance in elaborating yet.
I've been letting the rift grow gradually on its own. My wife knows very little and I guess uses that as plausible deniability. Although I fear losing her if the issue is pressed.
How old were yous? How far did you go? Details
You do absolutely nothing and let the chips fall where they may. You already fucked up by admitting to your sister diddling ways. Just keep your mouth shut and remember that family ISN'T everything.
Just sit back and laugh op.
You are what you have done and you can't change that.
Not even death will change that.
So just sit back and laugh.
I don't remember much of the beginning but I was around 12 or 13 and she was ballpark 11. It went on into my teens. She complied, which is why I called it experimenting. I blame homeschooling and shitty parenting.
Trying to convince myself of that. Family has been my life's meaning since the beginning, which is why this is so petrifying.
Seems like all I can do.
Want to win lottery, leave money to wife and kids, then fall off the face of the earth. Modern day Cane style.
Who cares?
You were kids.
If they can't get over you pouting at your tenth birthday for recieving the wrong gift then fuck them.
Own it if it comes up.
"Yep it happened, not proud, no regrets"
You must be the Boss.
keep your fam.
this
Just want my sister back.
What tears me up the most, is everything was perfect at first. My best man was just that. Being home school, we both met at the start of our adult lives and we went through some shit together. Friends for years and then he started seeing my sister not long before I got married. Then I was so happy when they got married. Life was perfect. Then he just messaged me one night saying she'd told him some horrible stuff.
I can't imagine how that conversation must have gone. I haven't seen either one of them in roughly 3 years.
If I ever get the chance to see them I'll beg for forgiveness. Faulting that, I'll have to decide between fuck it, or exiling myself
Call her.
"This has been bothering me for a while...."
Have a fucking conversation with HER.
Make sure there is no hurt feelings and apologize if there are.
If it is fixable talking to her is the only way.
Yeah it's going to be impossibly hard but that's really your only solution.
You act like you were in the wrong.
If you were wrong idk if you can fix it.
Being older does NOT make you automatically in the wrong.
I appreciate you saying that but I'm having trouble believing I'll be able to sell that idea. I live in the south (go figure) and I'll be surprised if I'm not lynched or worse should this thing blow up for the worst.
Trying to build up the courage to do that, is why I made this thread. I'm pussy footing because I'm afraid of the backlash on my wife. Not trying to blow my own horn, but I've been a pillar for her family sine she lost her dad a couple years ago. It's just terrible luck that I feel this shit creeping up on me now that I have so much on my shoulders
Yes the wife comes first.
You must tell your wife first.
Not telling her is extremely bad for your situation if you go to your sister first.
If your sister told her husband "some horrible stuff" it kinda sounds like she told him it was forced/bad/wrong by YOU.
What the hell happened OP? What do you mean she "complied" ?
My wife is aware of the issue but doesn't pry for details. I suspect so that she doesn't have to hate me. She is tender natured and quiet, but fiery at heart.
I really have no idea how my sister feels about any of this.
find out how both your wife feels and your sister.
Make sure you tell them how it is making you feel.
That last part is very important.
Make sure you tell them what it is doing to you before you ask them about it.
>Fuck we have a regular old tripfag thread going.
We touched each other. Heavy petting. I remember actions involving our mouths but there was no forcing or aggression, ever.
I refuse to believe I'm a monster. I don't feel like a monster. I feel guilt for not knowing to stop it before it became this fiasco. How was I to know??
So you are going apeshit and you never even penetrated...
I get it's the south but come on....
Sup Forums wasn't where I expected to get any consolation, but this is actually helping. Too poor to afford therapy. Was actually talking with my wife about this tonight (getting therapy but can't afford regarding this issues)
That's it? just touching and possible oral?
I mean I guess it depends on context, but if it's how you say it is - completely mutual, etc, then that's really not that big of a deal OP.
I mean it's not IDEAL, but kids do a lot of shit, happens often with siblings. I used to have a friend (male) that we experimented as young kids by touching our penises to each others necks. Weird shit right.
If it makes you feel any better, my sister and I did sexual stuff too. But she is older than me, and she was the one who started it. I never felt forced and although I don't find her attractive at all today, I don't feel ruined or damaged in any shape or form. It's just one of those things that happened, and we never talk about ever again.
Whatever man, it's a big enough deal that neither of them have spoken to me in years and they've basically tabooed my name in their presence. If you knew how solid things were before, you'd understand how bad they seem now.
from the ages you are describing.. the whole situation sounds ludicrous.
why have you guys been out of touch for so long before this?
That's the thing. It only became this issue after he found out. She and I never spoke of it. It never came up at all. He finds out and basically pulls the certain on her to my whole family
It's not therapy worthy man.
Your problem isn't that big.
Chances are your sister feels exactly like you do.
Just awkward.
why do you care what they do? live your own life.
See rolling this thing back to the roots: my older sisters were molested by a relative WAY back in the day. One of those sisters ended up fooling with me in a similar way to how you describe. I think that led me to my younger sister somehow (after the older had moved out). And I'm honestly sure that this one sister messed with the siblings below her (there's a lot of us, 9, actually )
maybe get the older one involved as well.
Or at least ask her about it and let her know you have o hard feelings but it messed up you relationship with your younger sister and you need help fixing it.
Talking to her would be awkward but you have a point. That conversation could potentially be my proverbial toes in the water. I'll definitely consider it.
I appreciate you all for making this seem so melodramatic. It really has been chewing on me for so long. My heart is actually racing as I think of the possibility that this could all wash out. If it does, thank you all.
For a bit of levity I'ma need somebody to check these gets plz.
post sister or gtfo
Eat shit and die. How's that? Let's just demand things of each other until one of us gets bored or just stops responding.
Either start posting some fucking bananas or spiderman or gtfo my goddamn thread, you worthless piece of shit cuck.
While these things (sexual abuse) are cyclical, it's important to remember how to draw the line. Let me put it this way. I work in law enforcement. Sometimes, putting things into a more "black and white" sense can actually make it clearer.
A good question to ask yourself, honestly, that perhaps you never share the answer with anyone but yourself, is:
Is this occurrence between you and your sister something that, if committed today, would be considered a crime? Be it a felony, misdemeanor, etc? You have to think really hard, was there ANY grooming, ANY act of manipulation, ANY act of coercion or force, even in the most brief or slightest form? (1 second? 1 phrase? etc)
I'm not asking you to tell us this, but you might want to consider this for yourself. If you think there might have been, maybe it's best to admit it and begin healing and find some therapy so you don't continue the cycle if you ever have a family with your wife.
If you can honestly say there were zero elements of abuse, then I would say it was probably just harmless experimentation between kids. Again, not IDEAL, but not life changing and certainly not worth losing family over. I would bet that your sister's husband has some skeletons in his closet as well. We all do.
have this instead
I really appreciate the advise. I'll take it into serious deliberation. I already have a family started so I definitely understand what you mean. That's why this all hits so hard. I don't want it to be blown up into some horror story that will haunt my children. It's eating my inside out.
I'm signing off for now. I've capped the thread thus far and may return, perhaps with developments (don't hold your breath ). Thanks for the help, Sup Forumsros. I owe you guys a few hundred in therapy fees.
well, you're gonna have to at least explain the circumstances
don't even trip about it bro
I did the same shit with my sis and we talk really well with her
just don't overthink it
if they don't want to talk about it, it's ok, give them some time to process it. I'ts not your fault, you were obviously young and stupid
Don't let that shit ruin your life. Love your family and forget about what happened in the past
>issues
Dude you were kids all kids experiment when they are young. Why let this eat you up. It's no big deal