Sad Stories thread, mostly for fucked over people to vent

Sad Stories thread, mostly for fucked over people to vent.

You know you need it

I feel like my story is too absurd to be understood on here. Or at the least too long to be written in a way in which it makes sense.

C'mon, you probably need to vent anyway

I do, to be quite honest. Alright, I'll type it.

I fell in love with someone who was truly near-perfect, and because I couldn't understand my feelings for them, I hurt them on purpose. I hit them and bullied them with words, things I knew they were sensitive to. They refuse to talk to me or forgive me now, even though I've apologized and I swear I've changed. Ive already made the worst mistake of my entire life. I'll never meet someone like th again, and they'll forget me and continue to live their perfect life while I'm stuck, miserable, in the past.

I've turned 18 not too long ago. I was really depressed and psychotic almost all my adolescence. Not for any particular reason at first. I've always just kinda felt like my mind is racing far too fast. I'm easily the most talkative person I know. I always say quite a lot about any topic whatsoever when talking with people, and it's often too much for them and gets annoying, but in reality the shit I say is only a tenth of what I could, or what I'm tempted to, and it's only a thousandth of what I'm thinking. My mind produces thoughts too fast for my mouth to even spew them out. This is why my life has always been a balancing act of thoughts, good and bad ones that collide. I literally thought myself into insanity, and then out of it when growing up. It's easy to go nuts if you have the brains to see everything that's wrong so clearly. I'll cont.

You're an edgy kid with no real diagnosis. One cannot, or at least YOU cannot "think yourself into insanity." You probably got a decent score on an IQ test once as a child, and had parents and teachers alike talk about how "gifted" you were, but you don't have "brains," that is to say, you're not particularly smart and you're going nowhere.

My advice to you is to either grow up and stop holding on to stupid, unhealthy thoughts which feel good but accomplish nothing, or to meditate/smoke/whatever you need to calm yourself down once in a while and get out of your own head.

Your story seems similar to mine except flipped, I just gotta say that if you truly have feelings for this person, don't leave them hanging and don't let them go

Did you mean to respond to this one?
Can you give me more advice?

Whoops, you are right, I meant to reply about the whole gooey feelings situation

You cannot keep feeling like the worst thing is to happen, The girl who had bullied me and broke my heart has already truly forgot about me, but all you need to do is show that you'd do anything for them, that includes: talking to them, listening to what they had to say and never giving up, try and keep them in your life for as long as possible so that they can't forget you

Anything to show that you are sorry.

I'm a problem solver of sorts. My thinking can be put to good use, and I've often thought myself out of my problems. But in reality, almost all of the worst pain in my life that I have gone through, almost all the problems I can solve by thinking, have really come from me making them by thinking too much in the first place. A lot of people get depressed and angsty as teenagers, right? But not every teenager is diagnosed with an actual psychosis, gets taken away from home, and tries to kill themselves AND others. Now, here's where drugs come in. I have a drug problem, but not in the way most people would think. I never used any illegal substances or ones that alter your mind, but I remember really wanting to, and with good reason. It makes sense right? I mean I saw a stand-up comedian the other day on stage talking about why people use drugs, how he hates his brains and our brains are really the reason we use them in the first place, to slow that shit down. That being said, I obviously felt I needed that more than anybody I knew, but I never got it. Not one moment of peace of mind, or one breath of air induced by just using something. The reason why is even though I really wanted it, I was always too socially inept to interact with people, except for my closest friends, who really were great guys but just happened to never use anything. That, and I've always been poor too.

Sounds like me that's why I orderd weed off tor

I just don't know how to feel anymore

my por birb died... it died

Nobody knows 'how' to feel. You just feel the feeling that you are feeling.

Yesterday I made a ham sandwich on toasted sourdough bread with mayo, swiss cheese, lettuce, tomato, and avocado. I went to cut it in half and my knife slipped and I knocked the whole thing onto the floor. The dog ran in and ate it and the mayo splattered all over the cabinets, which I had to get on my hands and knees and clean up.

I didn't have any more ham, so for dinner I had to heat up some Trader Joe's meatballs and serve them over brown rice mixed with finely chopped green onions and hot sauce. It was pretty tasty, but not as good as that ham sandwich would have been.

mother remarries. new husband starts driving a wedge between mother and i saying im dangerous and liar. i was 13. never see family again. 15 years later, i get a phone call that mother has hung herself. turns out hubby ran up 400,000 dollars of debt and secured it against her property only.

hubby doesnt realsie that mother put their house into trust in my name, so at least i had the satisfaction of having the police remove from my new house.

still had to sell property to cover his debts.

he remarried a month later.

took me 2 years to be able to think without raging

Nowadays I'm actually way better with people, and can talk to most with absolutely no problem. I seem so normal and social at school that most people wouldn't guess something like this of me. But I almost feel as if the damage has already been done. When I was at my worst, I learned to think that how you're doing inside your head, as in how you're feeling and how happy you are, and how you're doing OUTside of your head, as in what you're surrounded by and how your life is going, are two very separate things, and I started to really only care about the first one. I once thought to myself that nothing matters to you except for how you feel, unless you choose to care for it, but your own emotions will always be there. When I brought this mentality to it's most extreme, I remember swearing to myself that I'd actually be poor, homeless, and alone, in Africa, cold, lying at the bottom of some fucking barrel, swimming in mud and rainwater, as long as I felt good, even if it's artificially done by some fucking substance. I thought, I would rather have that, than live where I do with a house, friends, family, and all of the material possesions I could ever ask for, and still feel like shit. And I kinda never changed my mind. I still think that. Now I've woken up to a world in which damn near everyone around me is already using something, and has been for quite some while, people actually doing drugs and alcohol and shit, and it actually working in their favour. The thought baffles me, and it scares me too. It feels like cheating to someone who grew up always feeling like shit and who never had a taste of it. I can't handle the thought of it, of people reaching emotions one bit better just by doing something as shallow and simple, as taking some sort of substance into their system. I've always been a bad loser and an extremely jealous person, so that's just more fuel to the pain. The jealousy aspect of it.

Then smoke weed dummy

Most of my relationships don't last too long probably because I haven't really got over the one person who I truly loved and who I never can be with. I was in love with her since childhood and I never could seriously take any relationship with another woman seriously. She'd probably be too good for me too; she's nice, intelligent, rich, accepts anyone including their individual quirks and oddities without so much as a bat of an eyelash, and cute as hell to boot while her boyfriend's one of my best friends, the son of our university vice-chancellor, well-known, friendly, and part of the swim team. And here I am, a depressed wreck of a person, terrible relationships, a so-called "genius IQ" ruined by ADD, piss-poor, and the only way I can maintain my friends is to act like how they expect me to - entertain people, make them laugh, go with them when they go for drinks and that sort of stuff. I never told them until recently because I cared too much for their happiness, it was as if they were made for each other but I guess I never would have made a move anyway. Family's not doing so great either, I haven't spoken to my mother or my brother in almost three years because of all the years of psychological abuse she put me through and my brother was always her favorite anyway because he's an honor student, follows her without question, and usually blames me for his fuck-ups so he gets away scot-free. Now that I'm here, all that I really want is the childhood that I never got.

Appreciate the answers, I actually agree with this though. The thing is, I've been trying to get some for quite some time, but I'm poor as fuck, and before now I was poor as fuck, plus scared of people. In the past year I've met these two females about my age, both of whom have smoked weed and continue to do so, and they've always gotten annoyingly close to getting me some, but not quite. They've poured salt into my wounds of feeling jealous, and left out, over and over, by talking about how amazing it is and making it sound like it's working for them exactly how I would hope for it to work on me. I feel like it's coming soon, I'll most definitely smoke weed some day now, but every day is hard, this shit has gone on for too long and I've blown it way out of proportion in my head. Every day I wake up to thinking of the fact that there's this green goddamned fucker somewhere out there, supposedly all around me even it seems, that I remember wanting for years, and that everyone BUT me is now apparently using, well, not everyone but a handful of people of the ones I know now. But it's starting to feel surreal. It's not like alcohol, where even before I tried it, it felt kinda familiar to me because at least it's always been clearly present. I've only ever seen cannabis in music videos and in photos and shit, never with my own eyes, because it's illegal around here for all ages and under all circumstances unlike alcohol. One of the two girls I mentioned, talked the other day about how it smelled like pot in some apartment complex stairway, but see I can't even relate to that and that just makes me feel dumb cause I don't even fucking know what it smells like right? It's starting to feel way to mad.

My sister hasn't spoken to me, or any of our family for 7 years. She married a very controlling subhuman. He has said and done some fucked up shit. She fucking let it all happen. Apparently they have had 4 kids now (he puts birth notices in the paper to rub it into mothers face, urgh my mum i feel the worst for her). I dont and wont know any of those kids.I can only imagine the bullshit he has fed them about us. Sometimes i still think its all a bad dream. Even if she comes crawling back one day i dont think i can forgive her.

I really wanna die but I have parents that love me...I prefer to live my life depressed than to know that shes crying over a dead son

Holy fuckin shit, kid. Start a blog and spew this trash there. Goddamn...
Listen, first - almost everyone goes through their "genious" phase when they grow up. That's because you're still young, in your prime years and your brain works at 100% its capabilities (that is, if you didn't trashed it with drugs, alcohol or any other shit). That is okay, and the way you describe your "superior" thought processes and how apparently talkative you are, makes me believe that you don't have decent enough hobbie. That is your problem #1. As I said, get yourself a blog, write something, play vidya, watch stuff. Get your brain busy with something and it will solve most unease that you experiencing so far.
Second - drugs. There's no point in being jealous about it. You want it - do it. If you cannot afford it, they try asking your friends to try it or something. If you're good friends with them, they most likely won't refuse.
Lastly - do not orbit girls.[spoiler]I... May be mixing it up a bit. I dunno if is the same anun or not, but what the hell, let's call it collateral damage, eh?[/spoiler] It's like with strippers, y'see: you can look, but do not touch. If you're not close to her in any reasonable way, then there's no point and you're just harming yourself. Stop that ASAP.

I've probably even smelled the fucking smell she's talking about before and not even realized it. At times I'm starting to doubt this green motherfucker even exists. Like, I'm starting to think, am I just in this torturous matrix, that first puts me through 18 years of mental pain, and then places this magic fucking substance in this world that supposedly helps with it, just for it to never be seen or experienced by me. That's how fucking stupid it's getting. I feel like I'm being trolled. Thing is weed was the exact one I remember wanting when depressed, it's so ironic. Yeah, again, I know I've blown it way out of proportion, but people have made me think a certain way, and it's just weed for fucks sake but I've become a person who takes feelings and how they're achieved way too serious.

They secretly want you dead too. You been nothing but a burden and a failure. Just get it over with and do it, everyone's better off.

"F" to respec birb

[spoiler]post pics of birb when it was alive[\spoiler]

I once had the opportunity to have a three some with two other girls. I had been masturbating beforehand so when they messaged me I was already in the mood and immediately said yes to it. I was so nervous when they arrived that I couldn't get hard for around 10 minutes. Then, when I did get hard, I came after 2 min or so.

That's a good dog, but sammich is good too.
I'm conflicted.

DECKER WE LOVE YOU. GOOD DOGGO

Damn dude, yeah I mean do agree with some of what you're saying definitely. I appreciate it either way though, it's good to get some outsiders opinions on this shit, so, thank you. Thing is I get the genius phase meme, and I'm far past it now, I don't go on anymore about how I'm superior in intelligence, or my high IQ scores or any of that stupid shit. Now I simply put just think I think too much, and I haven't considered it a good thing or been proud of it in a long time. That being said, I appreciate the hobby suggestion, and you're probably very much right, because boredom leads to insanity. I need something to focus on. Thing is, I had that before, I used to play vidya n shit but my PC has been down for quite some time and I'm too broke to get it fixed. And I do watch shit for entertaiment but that's really all I do at the moment. Lying in bed watching shit on my phone, my neck is starting to hurt lmao. You're right though, I'll try and get some sort of hobby going. As for the drugs, well, as you said if I want it, I should do it. And I agree, and I will, but as I somewhat explained in my other posts, yes I am broke, and I've asked my friends, the ones there's any chance with, and while they haven't blatantly refused it, they haven't helped me yet.

This is me, boy. And it's the only one I posted on this thread so suck a dick.
>Protip: [/spoiler] doesn't work here

I went to an all boys high school, got good grades but massively depressed. Studied engineering for 1 year then my mom divorced my dad and moved to Australia.
Started smoking weed, partying and skipping classes for the next 4 years before finally dropping out. Manage to get into Australia and stay with mom but my head is fucked and I can't get a job... busy doing a fucking course in elderly care but I can't see myself finishing.
Might just move back to shitty 3rd world home country and live out my days playing cod and smoking weed.
Also never had a gf or sex.

Anyway
here. I've contributed far too much into this thread now, considering how stupid my problem is, but oh well, OP did offer me a chance to vent and I took it, and I am really thankful. I know my problem is fucking absurd, and temporary, but maybe some of you see where I'm coming from. I'll get weed some day, and I'll eventually get over it, but that doesn't prevent it from still frustrating me in the present, this shit has been going on for long enough like god damn it's not supposed to be this hard to get weed ffs.

I feel you user, just try to get better alright?

Anyhow, I'm out. Thank you guys.