Be me, 25yo

>be me, 25yo
>human failure, poor education, bad dead end job
>sick of everything
>suicidal
>on pills
>desire to do anything that may change life or give experience
>thinking of leaving my life as it is
>leaving this place I live
>gather all my money and just fly
>thought of thailand
>why not
>I only know english and my native slavic
>will probably have money for 1-2 months
>know no one
>will need job
>shelter aka. home aka. room
>some people to know
>halp

This is what I am planning to do. Any advices Sup Forums? What should I expect? What to do?

Bump
If you're depressed etc going to another country won't necessarily help as you will be taking your depression with you but a change of air may fix the depression? Dunno

I thought of it more like trying to do anything with my life in thailand. If that doesn't work - go somewhere else, maybe russia? I do not know. Btw. I would like to know what should I expect in thailand and how to prepare for that flight.

Plus, I am leaving everything behind, my home, my life, partner, family, everything. Its like one way trip.

Can't really help you with Thailand. I hear the hookers are cheap. That said, one thing that really helped my depression was to just fuck off into the woods for a couple days. Bought a tent, cheap canned food, big-ass backpack and some decent clothing. Kinda just wandered around in the wilds for the most part. Set up my own fires, did some basic survival stuff - didn't really have to, but it just felt good to be completely self-reliant, giving society the finger.

Friend of a friend did that once. Saw him couple of times, nice guy then one day he just took his car and vanished. Left job, kids, wife behind. He called his wife few months later to say "I'm well, don't look for me", hasnt been heard of again

This man os wise. Same works for me.

What was the reaction of the people he knew, parents, wife?

Also, any idea what did he really do?

Fuck, as far I am planning my escape from this shit I realized I will have only about $2-3k, is that enough for a start in thailand...? And eventually for a plane to diff country...?

Running away from your problems never works, user. Your problems (which are more than likely 99% internalized) are going to follow you wherever you go. You have to confront them with a critical eye and mind.

>What was the reaction of the people he knew, parents, wife?
Dont know the details really but wife was confused, didnt understand why he vanished when she thought everything was going fine.

Thailand is cheap but look at exchange rate and see how much thailand money you have and look at accomaditaion prices, that'll give you an idea. Do you have a skill for a job there?

Thai is very hot weather wise too, be aware

Also this

Since I am human trash aka. city guard officer I have no useful skills in modenr society and world. Really.

I know my slavic native language and english on the level that you can see. I got my hands and legs working properly. So that's it...

Yeah, I know there is hot weather, that is one of the things that I want. Tired of fucking low temperatures.

Did she look for him? Or no?

What can I do if nothing here helps? Psychiatrist, pills, support from people? I still wants to an hero if I am unable to change anything...

I think it would be better to find a Thai/expat site. I know it's cheap, as probably is the Phil but with Dueterte (or however the fuck you spell his name) I'm not sure it's entirely stable. What the fuck are you going to do for employment once you get there? How are you going to get a long term work permit?

>29m
>work at funeral service company
>some 26yr old collegue an heroed
>threw himself in front of the train
>came in three bags in the casket
>didn't know the guy, only saw him once
>naturally, the company paid his funeral and all his collegues attended
>the cheap son of a bitch got a free funeral
pic related

Is that a jew in pic?

First, dubs witnessed.

The rest of this is some copypasta I wrote up about self improvement, but maybe some of it will be helpful in your circumstance user.

First of all start small. If you put out a list of 500 things you want to start on you won't end up completing any of them. Your brain just can't process that much and it's too easy to get overwhelmed. Make out a short list of a few items you can work on NOW. You mention your general level of health and education. Here are some thoughts:

Listen to some self improvement podcasts. Stay away from the daily news if you can because it has a negative bias. I'm not advocating sticking your head in the sand forever, just that news can make you depressed and make the world seem worse than it is.

Here are some podcast that I listen to and have gained a lot from:

The Art of Charm (started out as kind of a Pickup artist thing, but has grown into much much more and there are a lot of in-depth interviews with smart people on there)
The New Man (Tripp Lanier)
The Mental Illness Happy Hour (to help you connect your situation with others who have been through the same, help you feel like you aren't weird for feeling the way you are feeling)
The Art of Manliness
Radiolab and Freakonomics (lots of good episodes on why we do/think the things we do that run counter to conventional wisdom/thinking).
Waking Up podcast with Sam Harris
iprocrastinate (He's dry, but he's got a lot of great strategies for overcoming procrastination-like JUST GET STARTED)
Jim Kwik's Kwikbrain podcast, teaches you about memory/learning techniques
I'm thinking about picking up Jocko Wilnick's podcast, ex-navy seal and proponent of extreme ownership, esp. of failure.

>not entirely sure it's stable
>country is on the brink of total collapse
>not entirely sure it's stable

>con't
Walk outside 10 minutes a day (not to mention the sun will do you good and motivate you). That can be the beginning of doing more. DON'T get into a grind of hours of exercise. Investigate HIT or HIIT (Interval training). That keeps your workouts short and interesting. Pick one program and STICK WITH IT, but try a few things to see what you like. Crossfit, traditional progress/weightlifting, calisthenics, find what works for you. You don't have to have a set in stone goal other than just improving your health.

Another thing to think about is a lot of people search for their 'life's work' or their 'purpose'. Such distinctions are bullshit abstractions and the root of a billions worthless inspirational memes that no one follows in real life. You may find you like doing many things in life, not just one. I didn't find my career until I was 30 (I work at an ISP, sysadmin and network dude because we are tiny). The only way to find out is by doing different things.

I will say that many people find inspiration in service to others. It is starting to become a focus in my life as I've gotten older. Making an impact in other people's lives can be incredibly rewarding. But before you can do that you have to work on you. Seek out an older mentor relationship with successful people.

I think if I were you I'd focus on learning how to be a better learner. Read more. Pick up audio books, play them on 1.25-1.5 so you can tear through them faster. If you really like them buy a hardcopy and make notes.

Learn about memory palaces and memorization techniques, and how to read faster. All of that is in Jim Kwik's podcast and facebook group.

Stay off of social media if you can, user. That is a time sink and Instagram, Snapchat, Facebook and all of the rest are only interested in keeping your eyes on the app for longer and longer periods of time.

Total collapse? There are parts of it that are entirely fucked up (and have been that way for years) but I don't get the impression that it's on the brink of any collapse.

mmm... jungle cunt...

Thats not a plan but a simple impulse. Start changing things a little step by step instead of explosively. You may end up in greater shit than you are now without any means escaping it. At least now you have a job and medication to keep you going, betting everything on one card for 1-2 month is suicidal. Save more money and do a trip to a country prepared if it is what you wish everythign else might hurt you more than do any good. Im in a similar situation op. fucked my education this year, no lust or motivation studying in my field so I wille nd up in the same dead end job doing underpaid, physically taxing manual work 8 hours a day for the rest of my life (30-40 years, god I hope earlier).

Will give a try to some of it, some of it I actually do on my daily basis. But hey, doesnt help...

I am suicidal actually.. Taking pills for that. I agree that my ide is suicidal. Same having a revolver ready to blow my head. In one solution I have a chance of something.

Thailand is alright but you should try Vietnam. No work permit needed. Look white? have a degree? you can teach English very good pay

Chances of what? As an other user already stated, you are bound to taking your problems with you to another country in which you will apply even more pressure on yourself leading to more problems. YOu are too fixated, give yourself more time, plan things a bit beforehand. You dont have the financial means to stay afloat and the lack of education and medication wont help you either with fullfilling your "plans". If your emotions are decieving you, work with what is left, your logic. At elast until you have a clearer picture you romantic fool

If i was in your situation, i'd probably just start socialising in games or something like that if you can't find any in real life, but if you really is that much of a fail, just kill yourself, i would do that.

Probably you are right. But I am really unable to think clearly right now. I am not sure if I will ever be thinking clearly again.

I no longer find pleasure in vidya. Even multiplayer.

Better kill myself I guess. Fuck. Even my idea about moving to thailand failed. I am fucking degenarate and human trash.

You're going to Thailand to fuck lolis, no need to cover it up. That's literally the only reason people go there other than the ladyboys/traps.

Are you/do you meditate, user?

>unable to think clearly right now
Seems to be that way user but don't give up. Get help, continue your meds, give up depressants like alcohol, it'll get better. Speaking from experience. Suicide is a cowards way out, you're bettrr than that

I lost my education and any means of having a decent life 2 weeks ago m9. And while emotions are subjective they are bound to your pure will and your will is bound to your selfpreservation. You are now in a panic situation where this construct is failing you because you think your current lifestyle might be the end but as already stating, you arent even exploring it to its fullest to have a rational, objective and full picture of what is and might be. Wait until the panic has calmed down a bit and try to not doing something extreme until you have a clarer picture you are bound to recieve since the construc should be intact by then. Take some days off and travel somewhere nearby for at least some days ( i like the suggestion of an user who went into the woods for a coupleof days) this should satisfy your urges and simulate the situation you are trying to archieve through extreme means without getting rid of the stability (impotrtant factor, you need to fall back on something) you have already aquired.

Do a vipassana people say it's life changing

Running away from your problems is never the answer. Running away to a country you can't even speak the native tongue of is even worse.

>partner

Implying you're in a relationship. He/she should be the one you're talking to. If anyone is going to help you besides a psychologist it's going to be that person. You plan, however, implies you don't care much for that person. You need to let them go, OP.

My advice would be to do what Says as a start. Focus on you for a while, maybe go to college even. Once you've focused on yourself for a while, find a partner that makes you want to better yourself and makes you happy. I'll share a story from my life for an example

>be me, work at a Wal-Mart, totally depressed alcoholic status
>one day wake up thinking about my best friend that offed herself
>think "she would be disappointed in you, user."
>need to fix my life
>keep the dead end job but begin college
>start feeling good about myself, dean's list grades and shit
>start thinking about dropping booze
>a friend's mom dies, an old friend has no way to the funeral
>offer her a ride. First time we've talked in about 4 years since I fell into the depression
>clean my alcoholic dirty car out because embarrassed
>we start talking again
>4th of July weekend spend entire weekend together having a lot of fun
>start wanting to ask her out
>she asks me out first
>really good relationship at first.. Admit to being an alcoholic
>she doesn't care. I do. She deserves better
>quit for her
>suddenly very happy
>continue improving myself
>lose 30lbs of beer fat in a month

Now obviously since I'm on here some shit happened, but the point is I found my reason to be happy and improve myself

Maybe it's not a good relationship for you, but you need to find what will make you happy and a reason to improve yourself. Not run away.

>Now obviously since I'm on here some shit happened
keked

Turned out she didn't deserve better. Point was I found what I needed at the time. Fell back into my shit but working on finding a new inspiration to fix my deadbeat ass

I live on a property in the sticks, and while we do have a house, this is basically how we live every day. Has done wonders for my mental health, which used to be terrible and is now just occasionally bad

With kids that is fucking cowardly

If you stay away from tourist cities, 3k will go a long way in South east asia. You can also get buses throughout a lot of southeast Asia for very cheap, but they are pretty run down. You can get a flight to Australia for under $100 if you either book well in advance or keep an eye out for instant flight deals where you have to fly that day.

Good on ya mate, keep working. Back to booze?

Unless you have experienced heat like this before, you don't understand. I am from Queensland Australia, where temperature reaches 40+ degrees Celsius at least a few days a year, and south East Asia would still have me complaining about the heat. There are warmer climates and there is fetid dripping death. South East Asia is the second one.

Yea.. I started having trouble sleeping. Meds doctor gave me didn't work, melatonin and benadryl quit working as well. Have an appointment with the doctor to work on it and quit again. Getting a workout bench to work out. Found a trail near my house I hike often now. Depression hit me again though. Related to the bitch I tried to change my life for.

you are still alive and that means you have a second chance. live your life how you want to, take that extra step to better yourself and add value to your overall life.

Join the military of whatever country you live in. Ditch the pills and join. If USA then go with the Marines. They will give you direction. Money, food, shelter, education, experience that you can take to the workforce. It's the best thing you can do right now.

Could always be worse too OP.

>be my cousin, 20
>get girlfriend pregnant in high school
>join army and marry her
>have second child
>our aunt fucking an heroes
>nobody knows why
>uncle acts distraught entire time
>sinks into alcoholism
>"tries" to kill himself several times
>now be me, 22
>live next to aunt and uncle
>been noticing cousins car at uncles house a lot
>after aunt an herod notice it there even more often
>think cousin is just there to keep other cousin company
>one day outside fucking off see only cousins wife is there
>she's friend with femanon cousin, so think nothing of it
>couple weeks pass by aunt shows me a Facebook post
>whore is in a relationship with uncle
>they start drinking and getting loud and shit
>call cops several times but they always stop before cops get there
>be my cousin again
>he's been getting cucked for roughly 6 months without knowing it
>she denies him the right to see his kids
>crazy shit is happening but cops do nothing
>she won't give him a divorce so he's still being cucked and can't sees his kids
>mfw

Are you me? Except I'm not Slavic. I wanna drop ship and dip to England. If you end up going user, Be careful. Good luck.

You know she's not worth the drinking, yeah? She's water under the bridge, move on. Have you tried camprall to quit alcohol. Helped me geaps.

How cheap is it to get property in the sticks with a house? I really want to do this one day and tell the rest of the world to fuck off but I have no money right now.

What's the best way to go about it?

Not really drinking over her. It's mostly so I can sleep at night. I don't need anything to quit, my will power gets me past the first week then it gets pretty easy. I've quit twice. Don't know why I keep going back to it. And I know she's not worth the drinking. Considering the fact she had the fact she was HIV positive from me for nearly a year. Thank God I'm clean. Took a few months to get the courage to get the test