ITT: We tell storys of our autism

ITT: We tell storys of our autism

> Be me
> Out with the boys
> They're all drunk out of their minds
> I don't drink because that's degenerate
> We decide to go fishing
> Pull up to the river
> I see two ducks fucking in the water
> duck.fuck
> Only I see it, guys are focused on baiting the poles
> The ducks fly off and leave feathers in the water
> One of my friends asked what was in the water
Autism activates
> ItsaDuckLeaf
> Duck leaf?
> Get called a autistic queef
> Catch nothing and go home depressed

kek

Checked

Op again, I have another story
> I'm at restaurant with the family
> Its a fancy Italian restaurant
> Its food is created and decorated in a fancy way
> Order a plate of spaghetti
> Get my food last
> As they set it down I noticed its kinda piled in a way where it looks like a boot
> Shout out
> IT LOOKS LIKE A BOOT LOL
> My autism makes the boot sound like boob
> So everyone around me heard
> IT LOOKS LIKE A BOOB LOL
EndMe.jpg

>Be me, 13 years old
>Transfer to new school
>Religious school, everyone wears uniforms
>Very shy and timid at this point in my life
>Two girls who are friends keep trying to be my friend all week, making small talk, etc
>Feel uncomfortable cuz virginity is fully intact
>They get more and more brazen
>In my second week there, they ask me to come over and go skinny dipping at a pool at one of their houses
>Tell me their parents won't be home all weekend and after the pool we can go inside and "play"
>Explain to me that they "play" together but they've been wanting to find a boy to experiment with
>o...o...ok s..sure. I'll see you guys then....

>Virginity goes into overdrive and I get scared. Literally drop out of that school and homeschool for the rest of the year, blame illness or some shit

>tfw I missed my chance of losing my virginity in a threesome with two 13 year old catholic school girls

...

Your faggot boy group goes fishing for tadpoles? Really ? Tadpoles? Kys by chocking on your boys cocks, all of you.

>be me
>be young, around 10
>be part of a group, it's like a community group thing
>we'd play games together and all sorts, kinda like a group to ensure the community stuck together
>i really loved art
>spend my days drawing pictures of scenery and grand buildings
>get breddy gud
>didn't do well in school, it kinda sucked desu
>decided to forego higher education
>figured i'd make it as an artist
>in my twenties now
>still in that same group from childhood, i'm becoming kind of a role model for people there
>apply for art school
>crappingmypants.jpg
>got really nervous and fucked my paintings up so i got rejected
>doesn't matter
>do something else
>joined the army
>got sent to war
>shit sucked, but i read a lot on my downtime
>i learn a lot in my time in war, i learn things i want to apply when i get back home
>i think i know how to help improve that community group thing i was in
>finally i get back home
>go see the people in the group
>its changed a lot
>people don't look out for each other anymore
>there's new people here who don't behave very nice at all, they always like and try to manipulate people
>they especially manipulate the few disabled kids that were there
>shocked that nobody has said anything about it
>i decide to speak out and ask what the fuck is going on, why is everything a mess and who are these awful people
>people don't answer me right away, stay quiet
>the shitty new people hate me right away, as if i'm encroaching on THEIR territory
>keeps happening like this for about 3 weeks until finally people start getting pissed off and come to me
>they tell me they want those people out of the group and because the group leaders aren't willing to, i should just take the role of leader myself
>kinda scared, never been a leader much
>i know it's just a little club but i really liked these people, didn't want to fuck it up

cont.

Bump for stories

>few days later
>we've all organised
>i go in to the group and just take role of leader
>announce that the new, awful, people are no longer welcome because they've ruined it
>old leaders don't like this, i don't know why
>i'm still confused to this day as to why they didn't want the shitty people gone
>anyway, they try to tell me i have to go
>they say they'll call the police and have me removed
>it escalates kind quick and turns in to a fight between me and the original people of the group against the new people and the old group leaders
>we win and just throw the fuckers out
>tell them never to come back
>they got beat up kinda bad though, the group wanted revenge i guess
>finally, got my group of friends back that i always had
>feelsgoodman
>NEEENAAWNEEENAAAW.jpg
>police come barging through the door
>they have guns
>fug.csv
>people in the group shit themselves and jump up about to run
>police shoot
>a few of my friends are hit, mostly in the legs but one in the back
>i gotta go, i know they'/re coming from me and i'm sure those cunts we kciked out of the group had said something real bad about us to the cops to warrant gun usage
>run out of the place
>don't know where to go
>just run right to the nearby woods, at least i can hide a bit in there and clear my head
>i'm sat in the woods for at least 8 hours, just thinking and thinking and thinking
>"what have i done for this to happen?"
>"will i juts be killed if i try to approach the polce?"
>feel stuck
>all i ever wanted to do was just enjoy my time with my friends at my group, i knew them all since i was a child
>they were family to me, i just wanted to get rid of cunts who were abusing them
>now i'mgetting shot at
>can't handle the stress, i kill myself
>i'm sorry

And that's the story how the entirety of Europe was autistic, and still is.

>be me
>be fith grade
>having a normal day
>teacher tells us we're going to hang out with the tards
>nobody wants to do it
>teacher tells us we have to
>get to the tard room
>see all the disgusting tards
>immediately want to vomit
>the smell of puke and chicken tendies covers the room
>go sit down with one tard
>Let's call him Anthony
>now Anthony was probably the largest tard I had seen in my life
>about 7 ft 400 pounds
>I mean this kid was monstrous for the 5th grade
>also it turns out the tards get to keep there phones in class
>we don't even get to take them out of the lockers
>he opens up his phone
>he shows me his beyblade collection on his phone
>not fucking joking
>he gets up to go to the bathroom and leaves his phone there
>I get a awful idea
>I'm going to blow this tards mind


>pick up his phone and look for the most hardcore porn I can find
>arrive on a video of a white chick getin two dicks in the ass
>have it load to where it's ready to be played all the way through
>lock the phone when I hit play
>was going to play as soon as tard opened his phone
>put the phone down
>about that time the tard teacher told us to go back to our teacher
>leave the room without seeing Anthony's reaction
>I thought that was it
>but god was I wrong

The poles refer to fishing poles you autistic cunt

>later that day
>back in our own room
>hear the loudest screaching in my fucking life
>the whole school starts looking for the source
>takes about 20 minutes of screaching to find the source
>narrow it down to the elevator
>our school was 2 story so they had an elevator for the handicapped kids
>they have to call the fire department to open the sliding doors
>at this point most of the school was gathered around this elevator
>they finaly get it open
>it is Anthony and a girl we all called juicy Lucy
>he is fucking her hard as shit
>they kept trying to get near him to stop this madness
>they just had to wait for him to finish
>I mean how do you stop a 7 ft tard
>so after all this happens find out Anthony got super horny after opening up his phone
>he talked to juicy Lucy and they fucked in the elevator
>mfw no-one found out it was me
>mfw juicy Lucy got pregnant

>be me, 18
>start at new school
>get along great with new class
>two grills from class, 8/10 and 9/10, ask me to go swimming disco (still not sure what that is)
>only respond "ehh"
>didn't go because I feared they thought I was gay
>later at a party, 9/10 on my lap
>can't remember what we were talking about, but i distinctly remember her giving me "fuck me" eyes
>sperg out and miss my chance

...

>Be Me
yeah that's about it

Op here, I have another story. This one is a bit fuzzy in my memory but I still know the jist of it.
>Be me
>In kindergarten
>All the cool kids brought their parents to lunch
>I wanted to be a cool kid so I invited my mom to lunch
>Mom comes and we sit down and eat
>Some girl was screwing around and said to me "I'm gonna give you cooties
>EwwNo.jpg
>She hugs me
>I go into a autistic rage
>Shove her over and go find some random girl and I proceed to stomp on her glasses
>Mom watches in shock
>She never went out to lunch with me at school again

at least make it believable, user...

>17, perma-virg at house party (UK btw)
>ask the chad DJ playing music if he'd play some "good" music instead of the 2008 nigger rap he'd been playing all night
>he says "you put something on then" and gives me the aux cable
>plug in ipod and immediately put on nickelback rockstar
>everyone stares and a few people start dancing a bit, but awkwardly
>one emo 8/10 girl starts dancing with me
>she seems really into it, but I thought she was on something
>we start dancing a bit heavy and she grinds on me a bit
>song ends and next on playlist is fucking britney spears
>girl immediately stops dancing and says she doesn't like the song
>out of fear of looking weak I continue dancing on my own to britney - "gimme more"
>halfway through chad DJ unplugs my ipod and continues playing the nignog music

mfw the 8/10 emo chick ended up banging the DJ and are now married with 3 kids

>be me
>new kid in the school
>story not about me but some other kid
>get welcomed and sit down in a space that was between a girl and this guy
>Guy seems to be a full on potato after taking another inspection
>not down syndrome but something else
>Turn around to look at him
>he puckers his lips and moves closer to me and makes weird noises
>I turn around to the girl and ask what's wrong with him
>get completley blanked
>Confused and somewhat afraid of the tard attempting to kiss me
After a couple of weeks
>Same tard pulls on my friends arm tugging on it and constantly repeating my friends name and his own name
>Retard strength of course, it's rather annoying
>Friend decides to punch the tard in the face
>Zero reaction from the tard except "Ouch" when getting full on punched square in the nose.
>All this happened in first month of joining this school
Two years go past
>Another tard comes over to the same class as this was the only class with spaces left
>Female who looks like a fucking monkey, has a moustache, hairy legs ect ect
>Runs after people in the school and attempts to bite them and shit
>Teachers brush it off as her being a tard and how people shouldn't provoke her
>Gets everything done by teachers, attempts to flirt with other people awkwardly garbing onto her own tits and smearing her boogers all over the nose.
It was a fucking nightmare I swear.

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