Most awkward thing that has happen to you during sex?

Most awkward thing that has happen to you during sex?

I came

fingering ex's ass hole swear i felt turd nugget.... afterward she said she wasnt constipated any more

Floppy benis XXXXDDD

Made spur of the moment decision to eat the booty.

It wasn't that bad.

her parents got home

get a hopeless case of ED 9/10 times.

I get it hard for like 5 seconds, long enough to stick it in then I'm pumping with a soft one until I give up or she gets bored.

literally has been like this since the beginning. sucks.

He came

have you considered that you're a faggot?

You probably like cock then.. You should be taking not giving. Your penis is useless.

I accidentally spilled my balls on her glasses. She was like "lol safety first" and licked them clean.

She then died horribly like 9 years later.

yes. that's not it though. top shelf trannies are about as far as I go down that road.

it's mainly anxiety that causes it, and fapping too much

>be on leave to Bulgaria
>go to Russian mafia brothel
>pick a chick that looks 16 and probably is
>fart while she's sucking me off
>feel embarrassed
>then remember that she is a sex slave and I paid 25 USD
>flip her over and start plowing her ass

>going down on a French bitch
>she's really hot but a little hairy
>I'm really drunk and I think she's virgin cos I can't get my dick in
>start going down on her
>after a few minutes she's getting wet and I can feel her juice all over my face
>she says "what's wrong?"
>"nothing" lol crazy bitch
>she pushes me away, stands up and turns the light on
>my first ever nosebleed and it was a biggun

It's always awkward as fuck when you're in doggy an you end up pushing air into her vagina an when you pull out she queefs loud as fuck. They always act stupid about it like " oh what was that" or act like it didn't even happen.

Making out with a girl out by some lake. We get our pants and shirts off and she's jerking me off while I finger her. I assume she's going to start sucking me off soon but I have to piss so I say "will it be gross if I go piss real quick?" meaning would she not want to such my dick right after a piss. She says "no, go ahead." so I go piss, come back and start back up and she says "see, it wasn't gross, was it?"

she thought I was asking if my pissing was going to be gross cause I had wood/pre-cum or something. She must have thought I'd never jizzed in my life or something. Made me feel awkward at least.

Kek if I need a piss while I'm fucking my girl I just tell her amma go piss she's like "ok babe" I piss then go back and fuck her. All this while her parents are in the next room.

>girl, after pulling out my dick from her ass a big piece of shit came out full of cum, shit was cash and bitch was blushed
>girl 2, tried to finger my asshole and I punched her in the face. Wasn't intentional just an involuntary reaction. She sucked my dick with a bloody lip, awesome thing to watch.
>girl 3, the second im in I say 'oh its so fucking loose' she said something but I don't remember what it was.

>same girl as before
>fucking doggy style, all good and fine,
>her phone rings, shit its my mom, oh crap. >Dick still inside locked and load
>She starts crying on the phone, hangs up and says I'm all dry now, but cum quickly we should go
>No thanks.jpg pull out, got dressed and leave
>Next morning she send me a long ass e-mail (btw this was on 2006) telling me how sorry she was.

Explosive diarrhea (it was in the bed of her parents)

Discovered her penis

Insulting my GF during sex.

She was young (17yo), small and tight,, so sex felt like heaven and that made me go nuts when I was about to cum.

I remember telling her something like "shut the fuck up bitch i'm fucking gonna cum in your fucking pussy, fuck fuck fuck, shit, fuck this shit, ah fuck you bitch... i fucking cummed... ahh bitch"... guess I watched too much porn.

i farted... but it wasnt a fart and i sprayed liquid shit all over the bed.

haha yeah i was being way too polite.

>get back from Iraq
>go out on town with 1SG
>get drunk as fuck
>top sees a hooker
>tries to be quiet but ends up shouting
>"Hey, user. user! Shee that whore? Do you shee that whore!? She's hot, right? I'll pay for you to have a go at her."
>hooker is staring at us by now
>see his adam's apple
>"Thanks top, but he's not my type."
>"Not your type? She's fuckin' hot! What are you gay?"
>hooker starts laughing

you so cool

I had no idea how to put the diaper back on.

because her glasses were dirty?

>it's mainly anxiety that causes it
i'm sure fucking a girl would make a faggot anxious

>Having sex for the first time
>Don't cum
>She does
>We're both like "what?"
>Start to change position on her body
>Changing weight balance
>PUT MY HAND ON HER THROAT
>She starts cumming again
>Start fucking her while choking her
>Orgsm

And I'm still choking her to this day. It was really terrible how it kept going.

damn you're a cool dude.

Also, a few days before I lost my v's to a polish whore. She had a filthy reputation, apparently two guys had banged her at the same time just a few days before
>I go to hers to watch a DVD
>we watch city of god
>after 5 minutes she says "what you wanna do?"
>lul what? "Watch a DVD"
>she laughs "no, what do you really wanna do?
>lul what? "Watch a DVD" fucking dumb bitch
>she laughs and takes my trousers off.
Thefuckishappening.jpeg
>her bed is small so my leg is touching the radiator and it fucking burns. Too shy and nervous to mention anything
>she puts and condom on my cock and gets on me in a reverse cowgirl situation
>she is excited "oh yeah" and "you're so big"
>I lose my shit and cum in about 10 seconds
>she turns and says "is that it?"
She kicks me out of her apartment and she never answers her door to me. I never see her again lol

damn. Women can be cruel.

Performance anxiety, couldn't get it up. She didn't even bother trying to help me out, so I just made her cum and ceased all contact with her.

shat myself

my 1 ex kept sucking after I blew my load into her throat. couldn't withstand the piss feeling and ended up pissing down her throat.

know that too well, user.
has bothered me ever since i started fucking, i guess. and that's for 13 odd years now. but women have reacted very different to it, some were honestly sweet and others were just plain cunts. the thing is that it usually gets better. so fuck the other whores.