A friend once told me that if you teach a man to fish he could feed himself for life. Well Ray...

>A friend once told me that if you teach a man to fish he could feed himself for life. Well Ray, the pond is out of fish so all that is left now is to swim to the other side...

>A friend once told me that god is a nigger, and we're all stuck here holding the whip.

>never look a gift horse in the mouth Ray especially if you're not a dentist

>not just walking around the pond

>I gave my father a bakers dozen, he slapped me for every broken egg.

>"An old proverb tells us that a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. The point is Ray, whenever you think you've caught the man you're looking for, there's two more ready to jump you."

You think I would do that, Ray? Beat a woman within an inch of her life? Let me tell you something. I only raised my hand to a woman once. At a Celine Dion concert. and you better believe I raised them both.

Vinceposting simply required too much skill to ever catch on.

Such a shame.

>caspere knew this

>They say cats always land on their feet Ray. What they don't tell you is most of them break their toes when they land. You can't even cast broken toes.

Am I going crazy or do most of these make sense? Like I would use in real life when I talk to my partners daughter?

This, honestly 3/4 of posters completely missed the point at the time, and only a small fraction were ever really good

You know they say time flies, Ray? Well I'm flying right now, but I'm all out of time

>They say if your dog shits in the park to pick it up. What they don't tell you is the guy with no hands has to use his mouth.

enlighten me

>They say like father like son, Ray. But I never knew my father, and has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

Lol

>Y'know Ray if life is like a box of chocolates, every one I've been grabbing is coconut

>They say you can take the homeboy out of the hood, but you can't take the hood out of the homeboy. But you know what Ray? I took the car hood and put it over the homeboy who is my mechanic because my car needed to be fixed.

>When I was a child I had an ant farm my father bought me. Those bastards never grew anything Ray.

good one OP, actually believable

>I'm from China, Ray

>They say people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, Ray. Well sometimes you just gotta accept that living in a glass house was a stupid idea in the first place.

Vince posting >>>> baneposting

...

>If you can't run with the big dogs, Ray, then stay on the porch. Well, the house is abandoned and the owner's not coming back, so unless you want to die with your tail between your legs, you get off that porch and find a new bowl for your kibbles n' bitz.

>They say a watched pot never boils. Well you know what Ray? Everybody is watching me, and I'm about to fucking explore.

>explore
kek

...

It should be a pseudo-deep quote that is either an established metaphor, misused so that it is nonsensical, or a metaphor that seems plausible but really means nothing or makes no sense. Too many posters just post "caspere knew this" or some batshit quote

Just think Ray, You could be gay.

In other words Little Carmine fro The Sopranos

unfortunately a lot of posters think "monkey cheese random XD"-style posting is still humorous if they just use naughty words instead.

well, he just always messed up traditional phrases. juxtaposing the sacred and the propane.

They say the early bird gets the worm. But you know what, Ray? So does a bad apple.

An oldie but a goodie

That's no good user.

That one actually makes sense.

kek

>You know Ray they say if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen. But in the end there's still a fat guy sweating into your food.

Kek

lol

BOO

GET OUTTA TOWN

What ever happened to predictability?
The milkman, the paperboy, evening tv?

I'll tell you what happened Ray, the milkman's blowing the paperboy and they're putting it on the 6'oclock news.

>They say whores like her are a diamond dozen, Ray. Maybe, but with steaks that high all I have to do is disguise the limit

(You) this comment if you laughed. Thanks in advanced!

>that's enough outta you Ray! Now why don't you make like a tree, AND GET OUTTA HERE

>My grandfather told me you can discover everything you need to know about everything by looking at your hands. I've been looking at mine all my life, every day since I was 5, and you know what I've just realized? They're fucking feet.

I didn't watch this season but these stupid threads make me want to.

>They say that God has a master plan for all of us, Ray. But if you aren't listed in the big guy's flight plan, then he expects you in the wreckage brother.

>You know what they say Ray, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. What did (((they))) mean by this?

...

>When is a door not a door, Ray? When it's a jar. But the real question is: A jar of what?

This is exactly how a lot of people get it wrong. This should have been more like:
>You know what they say ray, the early bird gets the worm. Well the thing is, the bird isn't early and now the fucking beetles eating it! That's where I come in ray. I am the beetle.

>I know the game like the back of my hands, and I'm about to take the gloves off

>We're on the last disc of the boxed set, Ray, and the CD's scratched.

Don't think anybody would dispute that. Baneposting is more popular though because it doesn't require more than 3 brain cells to take part.

I'm taking this one. No Ragrets.

>They say the night is darkest before the dawn. You know what they didn't consider, Ray? That we'd bring a flashlight.

They say the Spanish are lazy and like to play with death. Well guess what Ray? They're standing still and I'm the fucking bull.


>please rate, comment and subscribe if you liked!

Holy fucking lmao

>A wise man once said, that life is like a box of chocolates. And you know what Ray? You're in a chocolate factory now, I'm Willy fucking Wonka, and there ain't an oompa loompa in sight, Charlie.

bravo

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, and you can kill two birds with a stone. But you can't kill two birds with a bird, Ray. Casper knew this.

Explain

>I'm a simple man Ray, a simple man who oscillates perfidiousness

They say a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. Well I don't see any bushes around and the only thing in my hand is my dick.

Never lost my keys. Never even had a fucking keychain.

Do you know what a concert is ? are you retarded my man ?

Vinceposting was merely a blip on an otherwise uninterrupted downward trajectory of Sup Forums content creation.

...

I used to have a dog, Ray. Best friend I ever had. We'd run around together, throw him my frisbee, stuff like that. I fucking loved that dog. Then one day, this other big ass dog shows up, a huge Mastiff. I've never seen my dog again Ray. It was a mexican chihuahua, the mother fucker ate him.
That's when I realized Ray, this is a dog eat dog world. And I'm the fucking chinaman.
Caspere was aware of this

This is a proper one.

This, in fairness it's hard to get right

saviour of vinceposting

INNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

actually it's literally the first result you get by googling "vinceposting"

wtf I hate caspere now

A barking dog never bites, his teeth are too busy yapping.
I keep it quiet, I keep my teeth latched around the bone.
A dead man's bone

"You think you can have your cake and eat it too? Well guess what...I'm the cake and I'm about to start eating myself."


im just gonna repost the good ones

Out of time, you think I'm out of time? The only way I'm running out of time is if time stops running. Well guess what Ray, time just caught a cold so you're gonna have to wait a little longer for mine to run out.

>You know what the best thing about getting up in the morning is? Fucking my wife. She's wet, slippery and deosn't whimper. But you, you're like a fish. With all those gills and eyes and underwater home, I'm gonna eat you. Alive. And then I'm gonna feed you to my wife and fuck her, because that's what a man would do, and you aren't one.

we should be talking about season 3 right now instead we have ballers

Vinceposting is the patrician Sup Forums meme

Ray, you remind me of myself. I can tell just by the look of you that you're as apoplectic as I am when it comes to your job, and that your son is a fat pussy. What's important to remember is that I like big dicks.