How has Autism impacted your life?

How has Autism impacted your life?
Whether you have it yourself or know someone who does.

It gave birth to Sup Forums

what a cutie! i wish i could of saved him :(

bumping quick so I can type a wall

bump

As I was growing up part of this was fostered by my dad and his focus on sci-fi movies, his work as an electronic repairman, and as a jet mechanic in the air force.

Lots and lots of emphasis on techy stuff when I was growing up. And like him I regarded "normie" stuff as Inferior. I didnt care about sports, I didnt

Now we'll say that this impacted the kinds of Interests that I had. I didn't give a shit about normie stuff and I even thought it was stupid.

This affected my ability to really think much in terms of words. Mainly because I thought in terms of pictures, concepts and ideas, I drew alot of non-normie stuff like tanks and missiles and guns and spaceships. When I went out to play, I was Larping that I was the teenage mutant ninja turtles or something. My entire brain was focused in this direction.

I got along better with older people my dad's age, I was fairly mature from that standpoint even though I was a kid.

But I only had a few friends, and I was mainly ostrasized by the class because a few bullies kept turning people against me.

I was also odd... I would make noises and play with my fingers because I had

> how does it affect me now

I cant bullshit

And I cant hold a conversation about things that arent immediately important to the reason for a conversation.

Unless it has to do with a redpilled subject, or one of these other few niche things im interested in.

Normie interests are Inferior to me, so I have problems even looking into common subjects to learn more about them just to have something to share/talk about.

It leaves a vaccum of topics to go over, when talking to girls or guys alike. But I still feel those topics are Inferior and arent worth (my time, or yours).

When I go to share my insights, I want to "download" that information to the other person, so I will go on and on and ramble and even get off topic. I tend to dominate conversations. This is the classic effect that being an Autist has.

This is me :'( hope for our kind brethren. Hope for our kind.

How old are you and have you ever seen a therapist?

I used to be that way as a kid but i'm 19 now and i'm doing a lot better nowadays. Most people don't even see me as being autistic anymore even though they know i am. Ever since i got out of high school i matured a lot and things have been great so if your young there's still hope for you.

Thats also my ADD at work there too (thinking of multiple stuff at the same time, but unable to remember well enough to go back and complete my thoughts).

> my ADD isnt hyperactive though, to be very clear, its Inattentive and its diagnosed as such.
> ive got the real ADD, the kind that keeps you from remembering what you're reading when you have to study drivel you dont care about

Anyway until I was about 16 my interests mirrored my Dad's and he wasn't exactly normal either, but he never taught me much in the way of social skills or how to get girls. He just figured id pick that up somehow.

And the reason I played with my fingers and made noises was out of boredom in class. I loved Nintendo and (later) my computer games so much I didn't want to do anything else.

I loved game modding and wanting make my own game so much, I would doodle complex mazes in class that had all sorts of traps and flamethrowers drawn on them that you had to trace around.

So much excitement about that stuff that I had little regard for anything else.

After I discovered spirituality and magick I started casting spells to get lovers (as of college years, when I was 20+) and thats the first time I started having girlfriends. Fairly consistently for a couple years anyway.

The real lynchpin to that was having a Car, after my junker car died I wasn't able to get dates anymore.

I also met most of my girlfriends online such as POF. While I dont share many interests with girls in general, the goth/pagan ones I can sometimes get together with because they're open minded enough to Listen.

Thankfully after I started having girlfriends I got it down pretty well how to talk to girls and get closer to them.

Thats a skill I think that Autists in general don't know.

As for whether the magick spells worked its a direct cause and effect relationship (literally). I also attribute my First Girlfriend to it, since it took someone like her to be able to reach me.

35

Mild autism since childhood/seclusion

Ended up socially unaware and not understand what is normal in the real world

Ended up not understanding people and how other people will use you if you let them and they'll walk over you

Had to learn at 28, that people in the real world are not your friends and always be careful what you say around others

he didn't exist
>cue spoopy music

Back in the 90s when I was in high school, and then in college.

But it was for depression, I explained things like "they just dont write books on how to get girls, I havent found them if they do exist"... and the counselor would just sit there and go uh-huh and be supportive but not give me any ideas.

Maybe back then there weren't any good ones written (there is a damn good one now though, called The Tao Of Badass).

I was never diagnosed with Autism but one of the counselors suggested that I should be tested for Asbergers because I had SERIOUS problems with writing down my thoughts on paper for english class, speech class, and class journals.

> that alone is a good enough indicator that ive got it, combined with all the other symptoms ive had since at least 1st grade.

However the same Lack Of Common Interests affects finding just-friends as well, not only girlfriends.

I dont have any IRL friends. But then again I also talk about redpill subjects now, not just space/tech/war/game stuff. Which runs people off even more.

Im also homeless, unemployable, and have no money from a crazy check either.

So making friends is much harder since I have no money to spend, and because of rigid problems like...

getting food, or abiding business hours of places I use to get online... I have no time or freedom to be able to do other shit where I can meet anyone to make friends.

> I pretty much am an Island.

If anything I will say that being me, or being an autist in general... it really constitutes belonging to Another Culture because cultural differences seem to mirror the exact way this sorta thing works.

> Im at least 100 years ahead of my time.
> someone from the 19th century wouldnt fit in with us either.

The trick with being Autistic is it takes an unbelievable amount of work to Adjust. Its a situation of not knowing what you dont know, so you dont know what to ask or research.

Everyone I meet thinks I hate them at first because of how terribly I handle people. After that phase, we move onto the "Oh, he's just kinda weird" phase and then shortly after to the "Nope. That boy's straight ass 'n burgers".
Aspergers has made me an antisocial and I honestly don't know what to do about it. I'm functioning most days, but always end up overwhelmed by social situations and acting like a fucking idiot at critical moments. It hurts, honestly. Wish I was lucky enough to be born "normal". I've kind of fallen into a pit of self-hate because of all this. I have a great gf and family, but no friends outside of them. Closest thing to a friend I have is my weed dealer and it's clear he's only nice because I give him money. Fuck my life, dude. Shit is not cash.

Yeah even at this point I still have problems answering the question "What are normal people interested in?"

All I can think of are cliche topics.

Also ive got a problem with knowing too much, there are some things that normal folks are interested in that I have already learned are BS or wrong entirely on principal. Some of which has to do with religious beliefs people have as well.

Someone might bark at me and tell me to get a job, but what's available? Customer service. If you flip burgers or do stock at some store you're also expected to man the register and help customers too (you cant "just" be a stock boy or burger flipper).

I cant talk to people... so I have no customer service skills. And they will never improve because my brain is running a different OS that isn't built to handle it.

> I actually have to Think about what im going to say before I say it... I have to think of the words first otherwise a word salad comes out.
> otherwise I can seem quite intelligent with my conversation, its just misleading because my brain is racking at 100% to keep up

Im not disabled... but I am completely unemployable.

And my ADD short term memory retention is a major pain when it comes to training me. Because it'll take 5 times as long to train me effectively... as an employer you'll find me making alot of mistakes or going back to reference the training material to get the codes right because I just cant seem to get it down. Until a couple months go by and ive got it down as good as someone who's been there for years...

I am and I really relate to this. Also have bi-polar so service jobs involving people are just hell for me. After I quit my last job because we moved, I've gone to no less than 30 interviews and haven't got one call back.
>inb4; it's the weed
Only just started back on it after half a year of complete sobriety because of how stressful my life is becoming.

Good luck getting happy(or at least employed), user. I really hope you get there, m8.

I fucked her

Because of the same thing... going job hunting for over 18 months and only getting maybe 2 call backs (and NO Interviews) I developed a kind of PTSD about it.

Which means I wont go job hunting at all.

Ive been unemployed since 2006. I dont have a phone/number. I dont have an address. And I literally sleep in the bushes.

Food stamps got cut off so I just eat at a homeless shelter that has a public soup kitchen, and they let me take showers there.

> living without money in america

The only money I have is what I find on the ground. I wont panhandle, since I decided a long time before I ever got homeless that if I had to do that id just off myself (since that situation doesn't go anywhere).

Ive tried to off myself a couple times before, so that definitely comes first. And I would also say that it comes before bothering to get work too.

I continue to hang on because things haven't slipped below an absolute-low point for me yet. For example if I cant get online anymore.

Death comes earlier on the track than getting a job, panhandling, or hitting an actual rock bottom.

I don't smoke or drink, I don't use any drugs. Not that I could since they cost money and I don't have money. But ive got no use for cheap highs like that which don't do something constructive for you (like make you strong enough to rip a lock off of a door, for example).

I guess its also an Autist kinda trait to consider foods, drugs, drinks that have an acquired taste as if they're "nasty" and completely abject to them like a little kid being forced to eat vegetables.

There's alot with Autism that makes you be like a "Kid" even though you're an adult and can do most adult things.

Bruh. Look into night stocking for literally any store. Won't have to deal with people besides a couple coworkers who are probably in a similar mental place and you'll also get /fit/ doing it.

There's always something else out there. You're done when you concede defeat, my dude.

You going to any kind of support groups or anything like that?

what parts of this did you not read:
> homeless, actually on the street
> no phone, no address, no way to contact me back
> clothes maybe smell a little bit, and ive only got 2 changes of clothes, though I generally keep myself looking like a college student with that.
> no work history, has not worked anywhere in the last 7 or 10 years, thus no entries on the application are applicable
> No References

There are computer applications that I literally cannot fill because I cant insert data into the field, it wouldn't even let me continue to finish the application.

I live in a college town and cant leave, so I compete with all of the College Kids for jobs.

They don't have support groups here for this sorta thing, not that id know which ones to go to anyway.

my application is literally blank
even the skills/achievements section

I was homeless for a few years when I first got out of hs. No phone, no address, could only get online at the library. Was living in a college town.

There are people out there that care, though they are few and far between. You keep trying and eventually you'll meet one of them. I got lucky and after 3 years of the life, met the manager of a walmart while busking. He liked my fiddle playing and even though I'm clearly autistic(when I'm speaking) offered me a job saying I looked like I could use some help. Worked there for a couple years and learned to re-socialize myself. It's not impossible unless you refuse to try.

Not trying to make you feel bad, man. Just trying to reassure you that people can bounce back from most things, given the chance and that sometimes you have to give yourself the chance(by putting yourself out there even when it's hard).

Its like I dont exist... im not in "the system"

I will also say there are some kinda crazy things going on with me... some serious /x/ related shit.

All my bets are on being lifted out of this place, abducted whatever you wanna call it. I get enough funky shit happening around me to know for a fact its going on.

Yet im still here, so im only holding out for that honestly. Because of that ive got no energy or motivation to focus on job related stuff.

And if that wasn't going to pan out, then there isn't any reason for me to really continue even holding out is there. Im only still in the game to get what I want.

No they don't take you to asylums for this stuff. And no, even if I had a diagnosis, I still wouldn't be able to take any meds because (there's no money to pay for them).

> I got lucky and after 3 years...

But thats the thing, I am specifically Unlucky whenever it comes to any job type stuff. However I am exceedingly lucky it seems at finding everything else I need, without money being involved. Like not even diving into the dumpster, its just sitting there right next to it, or in the donation pile at the shelter, etc etc.

Given the stuff I do (which is /x/ related stuff) I actually have some power over, or the effectiveness of "luck" is altered in the situation.

Back in '06 my Higher Self told me "you will never work again" and I was really happy about that.

But the fact is im not employable either. And anything as tenuous as "an off chance" means it really will not go anywhere.

My brother has autism and it pretty much sucks since we have to take care of him and we dont know when hes taking advantage of us with doing all hush it for him, he makes alot of weird noises and can easily be triggerd in public.
Yeah i dont mind autism jokes

If you give up on you, you can't expect the world to keep caring. If you're happy with your life, lead it in the same direction. if not, change something. That's all I'm saying, besides trying to inspire hope.

Also, if you have the mental stability to make these posts, you are employable.

Do what makes you happy, m8. Plenty of people outside of the system still work and make enough to live on. I cut down trees with a friend for a few years and made hundreds in a day. Always cash. Just do you, stranger. No way to live wrong if you approve of yourself.

Again, no hate meant. Just felt like I was in a similar spot about a decade ago and hope you find what you're looking for.

I guess what im saying is as a /pol guy I really wish we had facism in the united states.

Under that system people like us would be Given jobs. They'd have what amounts to random day labor, farm help, or temp jobs that you'd get. But the trick is that they would Place you in something like that, you'd have a choice of what you went into, but...
> you wouldn't get any food money otherwise, so you would have to work.
> you'd literally have to pay for food with food stamps, you couldnt use that money for anything else, and you couldnt use normal money for food either


I would be okay with that. Its the Getting of the job thats the biggest hurdle for me. If someone Gave me a job unconditionally I would probably take it. But that doesn't mean my performance would be any better, im not good at holding down a job because im just not good at working.

The only thing that will change the situation is the Actions of others. Xenos or Dimension Jumpers or whatever you want to call it... which I cant get into because of secrecy.

Until they come to get me, and make me disappear, nothing changes. So the only Action I can take is to shout at them to pick up the pace and get it over with.

I do take that action, but apparently there is nothing else I can do to speed it up.

They were also responsible for some synched-up events that caused me to be even further removed from the social networking that we have. For example I re-applied for my food stamps, but even though I got them, the card doesn't work for them, its either the wrong number or its not tied to the account.

> this is one of those "are you reading the writing on the wall?" kind of messages

If something like getting a job is an off-chance thing that requires luck, believe me they will Get In the Way of it for sure.

They're also making sure I don't find money on the ground either. Used to be id find $5, 10, even 20 every few weeks on the ground.

I haven't found any in 6 months.

Ruined it.

>be me
>hang out with best friend
>make plans to grill and day drink all day
>leaves
>kills himself instead

>about a year later
>New best friend (obviously...)
>hang out in shop and drink beers 3 -5 times a week
>tinker on shit
>goof off
>him and his family are more family to me than most of my own family >best friends 19 year old son reminds me a lot of myself
>the daily struggle to work and party
>live life and have a good time doing dumb harmless shit for fun
>dude is like a little brother to me
>pickup breaks down
>i see him from the gas station
>grab chain
>fuckatowtruck.jpg
>Get it to the shop
>don't worry user we fix it in the morning
>kills himself instead

Now we are here. A year of vodka fueled guilt and remorse. Feel like a piece of shit. Hate myself. Tried to divorce wife so I could just go eat a shotgun in peace.

Her and a buddy made me go to a shrink.

The rage ecery 4 seconds is at bay but now i can't drink or be bothered to give the slightest fuck about anything other than anxiety and concern of every one of my friends.

Wearing out funeral clothes was not how I pictured my life...

I once read this autistic thread on Sup Forums and it gave me cancer. Pic related

Heavy equipment operator. Pay is descent and ignoring bullshit is as simple as flipping the cb off. Comfy heat and ac in the cab. Descent pay.

Can't complain.

Nobody around to hear it if i did.

Meh

well it is a thread literally about autism so what do you expect

>could of

I always wondered how somebody could get into that field. Just figured you had to be hired on some place and they'd train you how to use it.

> would have to get hired first, though
> places like that usually hire their buddies

You should get him on here for a Q And A. Can people be functional with autism or does he just shriek and break shit non stop?

You sure its not Downs?
Because I mean Autism is one thing but what you're describing is downs.

I make noises too but I do a good job of making sure nobody is around when im doing them (much like picking my nose and eating it). Rarely though I will slip up.

who is austin?

Yeah, you can luck into it like i did. Simple shit like driving a haul. Truck at a mine site any simpleton can do it.

Show some initiative and dont be affraid to jump in any equipment.

Fuck, these guys hired me to run a wheel loader and load trucks all day by myself. I showed up and they brought a loader and said adios

Uhh. Bye?

Get on YouTube and google. Learn how to run a loader.

Lol.

They have trade schools you would probably benefit from.

If you are rural almost every farmer or rancher has tractors and backhoes and shit.

Start hanging out at a bar if u can. Or get a job on the road. It's like riding a fucking unicycle drunk but after a few months you can run shit blindfolded.

I'm an aspie so like it's not full blown autism, apparently I used to be a really asocial kid, but I don't remember myself. I still struggle to hold conversations and have a little bit of a lack of empathy (it's not very strong though). From what I remember, the only problem I've properly experienced (and continue to experience) is the lack of social skills, I can't confidently say that anything else would be different if I wasn't aspergers

Put an email instead of a phone number, tell them that when you apply. Put address of homeless shelter on there. There are agencies for this sorta stuff.

>facism
>not communism
k bud.

>be me 5 year old
>kill autistic freind
>rape fat whore mother
>this lasts a good few years
>8 year old kill self cause of guilt

WAT?