GUYS I NEED SERIOUS HELP!!

GUYS I NEED SERIOUS HELP!!
I ordered a bong not to long ago and it didn't say it would come in for a while, but ITS FUCKING HERE and my mom is waiting for me to open the fucking package! WTF DO I DO?!

say its not what you ordered

lol what are you like 7. just open it pussy

And If she says I'm BSIng?

this OP you stupid retard

swap package with smth else?

Say its for a friend, or a present for a friend. Or just tell her its none of her fucking business?

It's simple

You kill the batman

Tell her its a dildo take the package and leave or quit being a pussy tell her to mind her business take the package and leave

Tell her you can't open it in front of her because it's the birthday gift (or whatever) that you ordered for her and you dont want to ruin her surprise

I'd rather be a pussy

either this or say its something she wouldnt understand,
then when she grills you say
"Im not gonna get any more in to it but if you really want to know more about what it is search fleshlight on google, but i'm not going to explain what it is to you." then take the package to your room and open it and hide the fuck out of the bong.

Did you tell her you ordered it?...cuz best shit to say is "what!?...I haven't ordered anything"..."must be my friends making a joke or maybe we should not open it and send it back."

But when mommy comes in start fucking the bong so she thinks its a fleshlight

Fml
Thought Sup Forums had good suggestions that don't involve me bein a dick towards my mom

Tell her to stop being a cunt and mind her own business. What a nosey ass bitch. How about you watch her open all her mail and maybe your helicopter mom will realize how invasive and stupid she looks. UNDERAGE B&

My suggestion doesn't make you a dick toward your mom ()
She will look at you funny for a couple days but if she is really anti weed it could be a lot better for you in the long run.

Honestly I would say "fuck off this is my business" but that would make her want to know even more

THIS

Simply explain that it's the Black Destroyer you ordered and you'd rather keep your private needs PRIVATE

Lol that fucking thing

additionally she will be really embarrassed when she looks it up, and she will probably give you more privacy in the future.

you opened it in front of her yet op?

Jesus Christ. OP's mom would probably fuck herself with it though

say its like clothes or something take it to your room and open it then just toss some old clothes in the box