So, my father died two days ago. I live with my brother, so I didn't find out when it happened...

So, my father died two days ago. I live with my brother, so I didn't find out when it happened. I found out about six hours ago. I've not really known how to handle my feelings on the matter. I'm not upset, because it's good that he's dead, but I'm not happy like I've always thought I'd be.

When I was younger, he did some pretty fucked up stuff to me. I mean, it was my fault... I never tried to stop it... Destroyed my self-worth, made me one of those self-loathing post-scene emo kids until I was 16. I thought I was better, but like, clearly I'm not.

With this news in my life, I just feel worthless. Like, I wasn't there. Like I feel bad that this asshole died. I don't know if I feel bad that I didn't help end him, or if I honestly feel bad that I didn't go see him...

My head's all fucked, and I mean, professional help is expensive. What do, Sup Forums?

Anyone wanna talk to me for a bit?

Other urls found in this thread:

templeofthewayoflight.org/integrating-ayahuasca/addressing-root-causes-with-ayahuasca/
youtube.com/watch?v=aaOfFixoxP8
twitter.com/SFWRedditGifs

hey he was your dad. if you really did not care for him, just let him go in peace.there is no point hating a dead man. if you really did love him, just try and think about the good times.

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hey he was your dad. if you really did not care for him, just let him go in peace.there is no point hating a dead man. if you really did love him, just try and think about the good times. im sure you dont hate him that much

booty hurt for all eternity

That's what's always made it hard. I don't hate him. I really, really, really, should. I've been told again and again by everyone who cares about me at all. I just never blamed him.. He had a lot of issues too, and even doing what he was doing wasn't working. I just wasn't enough for him.

So I don't know, I'm told I should be happy. I feel sort of hollow about the whole thing, but that just makes me hate myself more. I mean it's my fucking father. What kind of heartless bitch am I that I can't bring myself to even say I'll miss him?

Grieving is a process... it sounds like you're just at the very beginning... like, pre-beginning, even.

It took me years to get over my father's passing... and I'm still not really "over" it. I have just accepted what happened to him and I try to live each day to be a better person and remember the good things that he gave me.

Since this isn't really Sup Forums talk, if anyone wants to keep me company tonight while I deal, my kik is ontheonesandtwos (On The Ones and Twos) and I'll likely be up for a few more hours sorting through my thoughts.

sorry... I don't have a kik...
but I hope you can find what you need.

(You)

We can still use the thread until it gets banished past page 10.

I think what I'm feeling might be guilt. For not being there for the past couple years. He just wanted to see me, not even alone...

It's frustrating thinking that I could of made him so much happier with something so easy and I didn't.

Hey op. My stepdad used to choke and beat me almost every day for years... But when he died I was still sad. Life is fuckin weird.

become an hero

The best method for you and your brother go get passed this great is to have sex with each other.
And post pics of the sex.

Sounds like that will be a bit of a sting that will linger for a while... maybe a long while.
I hope you won't let it derail your life, or anything. I let my father's passing rip me to shreds for a long time, used it as an excuse for a lot of shitty behavior...

Funny... No thanks
I mean my life can't get much more derailed, but I don't think it will hurt me any more.

the
The Kübler-Ross model, or the five stages of grief,

is still remarkably accurate:

generally:

The stages, popularly known by the acronym DABDA, include:

Denial – The first reaction is denial. In this stage individuals believe the diagnosis is somehow mistaken, and cling to a false, preferable reality.

Anger – When the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue, they become frustrated, especially at proximate individuals. Certain psychological responses of a person undergoing this phase would be: "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; "Who is to blame?"; "Why would this happen?".

Bargaining – The third stage involves the hope that the individual can avoid a cause of grief. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. People facing less serious trauma can bargain or seek compromise. For instance: "I'd give anything to have him back." Or: "If only he'd come back to life, I'd promise to be a better person!"

Depression – "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die soon, so what's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the individual despairs at the recognition of their mortality. In this state, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time mournful and sullen.

Acceptance – "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it; I may as well prepare for it."
In this last stage, individuals embrace mortality or inevitable future, or that of a loved one, or other tragic event. People dying may precede the survivors in this state, which typically comes with a calm, retrospective view for the individual, and a stable condition of emotions.

>I mean my life can't get much more derailed, but I don't think it will hurt me any more.
What is derailed about your life, right now?

you conveniently forgot to mention your sex. You male or cumdumpster?

Like, I live with my brother?

I was drug out of our home by family who insisted I wasn't safe with my father anymore, and have kinda been bouncing between family members ever since. I don't really own anything that doesn't fit in my bags, and haven't really got a 'home' to speak of anymore. I'm supposed to be an adult now, but I have no idea wtf that means. You know, typical Sup Forums shit.
That's because this isn't about that, and I don't want to tits and timestamp.

From the conversation, it's clearly a female.

What do you see in your immediate future?
What are your aspirations?
Where do you see yourself five years from now?

I don't know. This maay change something or it may not.

I never really thought about what I want to do later in life. I kinda always just dealt with shit as it came, now everyone wants to know my 'plans' like I know what I'm gonna do tomorrow.

Same thing here. Where do I see myself? Hungry, being a burden on a different family member, probably unemployed and wasting air. You?

No i don't think you understand. tits or timestamp

About a decade after my father passed away, I got married.
I'm ridiculously happy, now... but I still miss him, every day. We didn't exactly end things on the greatest of terms... I wish I could have done things differently.
Is that you in the middle of the OP pic? Just curious.

>What do, Sup Forums
Either mushrooms or ecstasy. Besides as you get older the "fucked up shit" may honestly start making sense, once you walk a few years in his shoes (wife kids job etc.).

You newfriends don't seem to understand that you first post tits with timestamp


THEN you state your business. KYS you fucking faggots.

Post your tits you fucking dumb bitch. Do it.

tits or gtfo

post your tits or fuck off

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Eat a bag of dicks... no one cares what you want.

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>he did some pretty fucked up stuff to me.
Green text that shit. I've got a rager that needs to be tamed.

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Psychiatric help isn't that expensive as you'd think. Get in touch with your insurance company and find a well rated therapist and prescriber (it doesn't have to be a psychiatrist, but it does need to be someone who specializes in psychiatric medication) in your network.

You can get the generic brand of medications, it's offered with most popular medication. I really think it would be best if you seek professional help instead of relying on faggots and neckbeards to give you advice.

>psychology major before switching to computer science

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:Nothing here is to be taken as fact.
>you're a fucking liar timmy

You sound like some kind of a giant faggot.

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You got me.

ayahuasca

templeofthewayoflight.org/integrating-ayahuasca/addressing-root-causes-with-ayahuasca/

Our minds are masters at masking inner pain through a multitude of mechanisms that we develop in our formative years. We learn to disguise, suppress, control, sedate, escape and ‘defend’ ourselves against the painful experiences imprinted upon us. Life can often seem unfair. These defense mechanisms stay with us for life unless we delve deep to find their cause – a negative residual energy that manifests as an emotional blockage.

The majority of people carry negative energies originating from core painful events (either acute or developmental traumas) that occurred between 0 to 7 years old. On a basic level, this is the period of developing the emotional body, which is followed by the development of the mental body (7 to 14 years old). When working with ayahuasca, we are typically taken back to reflect upon (either emotionally, mentally or physically in some cases), integrate and then release these negative memories, emotions and their energetic counterparts.

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sucks to hear that op, it's normal to feel bad, even to a piece of shit, especially when you wanted him out, and he finally died, makes it seem like you wished it into reality. don't bare all the weight on yourself, no point in letting it bring you down. he fucked up your life, but you still have a lot of it to live. live your life the way you wanted to. it takes time to get over it, there are no magic words that'll make your feelings go away, just don't be that same asshole to everyone else and you'll be fine. god speed op.

>dad died two weeks ago while I was at work
>motorcycle accident
>hit my mom and fucked us over financially/been divorced and not around since i was 5
>he had 3 other families 1 before me/my brother 2 after
>moved back to texas and actually reconciled with the others eventually
>they are broken up over his death
>my brother and I feel next to nothing
>door is closed forever, i told him to fuck off the one time he tried to reach out

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>My stepdad used to choke and beat me almost every day for years

What did you do to deserve that?

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What did he just play with your pussy/asshole or did he give you the ol' hows your father? (no pun intended). *unzips pants*

>The best method for you and your brother go get passed this great is to have sex with each other.
Your family has an odd mourning tradition...are you European by any chance?...British?

>My stepdad used to choke and beat me

How has this not been turned into a spiderman thread yet?

Essentially everytime you have been scolded or had some emotional trauma it accumulates in your body. All of suppress negative emotions, but OP and to many others it affects her everyday life. Many people have taken ayahuasca to overcome emotional blocks in their life.

Or you can pay a shrink $100 an hour for years and never get emotional peace.

youtube.com/watch?v=aaOfFixoxP8

Not the OP but here's mine.

>Me 10
>Sister is 12
>Parents are divorced, father is 35
>Picks us up for his once per month visit
>Takes us snowboarding out of town to snoqualmie
>After hours and hours we're tired and go to cabin
>Have video games and open a can of whoop ass on pops playing wrestling game on original PlayStation
>Gets upset and wants to play soccer, I get Brazil and use Renaldo (sp?) to run up score
>Asshole loses it and swings controller on there table, shatters into hundreds of pieces, says he's going to throw me through 2nd story window and kill me and sister
>Sister threatens to call CPS
>Oldfag says we'll be dead before dialing
>Grabs me by neck and slams me against wall
>We start screaming, hear knocking within a minute
>Everyone crying including sperm donor
>Go home next morning
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I have generalized anxiety, OCD, PTSD, panic attacks, addiction, etc...
Married and addicted to everything in short term (alcohol for 1 week here and there, different medications, gaming) but never long term and nobody notices. It's just enough to feel normal and lose the anxiety hanging over my head for me to not commit suicide. I'll never do it but the thoughts don't go away.

>prescriber
>generic brand of medications,
>most popular medication

So what's the deal here? Become a drug addict to cope...it's okay if your dealer wears a white labcoat?

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God you're such a pussy.

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>ayahuasca
Your post declined in quality quickly from there. You can't explain somethings so don't try, it just makes you look dumb.

Hey OP your thread is fucking gay. Post your tits or you killing yourself please.

Kids are never responsible for what happens to them. He stole your father from you. You don't hate him because you're clinging to what could've been. Scum is scum ... even if they're relatives. Fuck him. Live a good life despite/to spite him

uhh...I copied that from a website.

It was meant for OP. Not for some retarded child.

just because he's your physical biological father dosent object you have to have any good feelings towards him at all.
If he wasn't there for you then he's nothing more than a stranger who you treat like a stranger. He's not your dad he's your biological father

have you guys tried not being giant homosexuals?

>Not for some retarded child.
Well there's the problem...it's not a website meant for you...I get it now.

you deserved it

>I know nothing about psychiatric medication

Lithium does not get you high. Lamictal does not get you high. Prozac doesn't get you high. Yes, there can be side effects, but the patient has to decide if the side effects are worth feeling stable.

Sure, your body can become dependent on psychiatric medication, and that can be caused by medication that's not related to psychiatry. Taking an antidepressant is not the same as shooting heroin or popping tranquilizers.

Didn't that guy OD on crack or something?

>Prozac doesn't get you high
Prozac causes arterialsclerosis and in peer reviewed studies it has been shown to be primarily a placebo. The FDA has known since 1984 there is no connection between serotonin and alleviating depression, and a recent study has dtermined there is a certain percentage of the population that has a genetic predisposition to either have severe cases of homicidal/suicidal ideation. Go ahead, by all means turn the most important organ in your body over to the doctors with the highest rates of sexual assault, drug addiction, and suicide. What could possibly go wrong?

here suck a hyena cock faggot. no one cares.

My dad died sometime ago. He also was far from perfect. It takes a LONG time even to fully process that a parent has died. You probably don't feel a thing now, except you are telling yourself "he's dead! he's DEAD!" and trying to force yourself to feel sad. It's ok. It's normal not to feel anything for a long time. 6 months from now, you will be shopping at the market and drop a yogurt on the ground and suddenly start bawling for your dad, despite your hating him and everything.

It might help to know there are layers of "you" in your own brain. The many "you's" are like an onion. The one that thinks shit is way ahead of the one that feels shit. And there are other ones doing other things at different schedules.

Again, it's ok. Just let that thing unfold on its own. Don't try to force it, because it can't be forced.

One of two things is true. Either there is no afterlife (in which case your dad is dead and gone and doesn't care shit what did or didn't happen) or there is an afterlife (in which case your dad can patiently hover around until you come to terms with your relationship with him and his death).

So, just take it easy, greasy, you've got a long way to slide. It'll all take care itself in the fullness of time.

>what is the black box warning that is clearly labeled on all medication that can cause thoughts of suicide
>what is the responsibility of the prescriber or pharmacist to educate the patient on possible side effects

Psychiatric medications are a case of trial and error. The patient needs to be able to handle side effects and the medication needs to be effective. There's a reason why mental disorders are treated very effectively with medication. However, this is a two sided coin. You need talk therapy as well for treatment to be successful, but that's neither here nor there.

Here in the US, you're given papers with your medication that list all side effects and warnings. I'm not sure how other countries do it. You aren't given medication from a professional with a simple "here, take this pill and it will make you happy". It simply doesn't work like that.