W-why are you breaking up with me?

w-why are you breaking up with me?

haha, it was a prank bro! Come give daddy a hug.

Because you use picnic tablecloths aa clothing.

Because you don't exist and my psychiatrist says this isn't healthy.

You have to small of a dick. Since I'm a huge faggot I deserve a huge cock

Because your Eyes are brown.

becuase you ugly and no one likes you

YOU WONT LET ME EAT YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLIO GOD DAMN IT!!

...

mad white boi?

Because your hotter friend has been telling me to dump you and fuck her. And I will. Then she'll cheat on me and I'll regret losing you for the next 10 years and dive into drugs really bad and fuck my life up and end up on a Latvian basket weaving forum spending my nights crying about dumping you.

> ASSHOLIO

No, you just made me feel disgusted and cringe.

>Because your Eyes are brown.

what makes someone take the time to reply with something like this? genuinely curious.

...

Dubs.

oddly specific. You wanna talk bro?

It's because you're vegan and it's so annoying! You won't even suck my cock because 'No meat will ever touch your lips?' What the fuck is that? And, I know she won the popular vote, but Trump winning is no reason to go all emo and start cutting yourself. Plus, you don't take it in the ass. I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's not me, it's you.

Its the purity of aryan race meme.

[spoiler]hope my boy does well @ TI[/spoiler]

Oh right, guess I should have been more edgelord like yourself.

Prob 4th but I hope so too.

Bitch because your pussy smells like dead dog and expired whole grain mustard.

Because you cheated on me for 6 months

I talk to myself all the time :(

you won't let me sniff your butthole or feet

Because You deserve Someone better!

Because we have been dating for EIGHT YEARS and you refuse to have real sex. I have needs, and I am wasting my youth on you.

I'm actually really really gay.

I thought I was getting divorced but my wife wants to make things work and I have 2 kids with her that need their dad. Not to mention you have 3 kids and mentally unstable. And one more thing, you fucked around on your ex with his best friend (me).

He took the bait by opening the cute thumbnail and had to find or make up a flaw to cope.

At this stage of my life, I need someone that's into the art of Zimbabwean salad tossing.

checked

>w-why are you breaking up with me?

You give lousy head.

Not to nitpick on a North Korean Autism Board, but it's a picture. You do understand you can't break up with a picture because you can't date a picture. He can take the bait, say "oh, that's cute I guess" and be on his way.

Cause you don't let me fuck your dad

Because you keep pushing for marriage, and I am not ready for that. Maybe not ever. You also have some weird hang ups, and I don't like your family. But don't get me wrong, the sex has been great and will be hard to give up.

This thread can be paraphrased to "reasons to break up with your gf / this placeholder girl". This profanity combied with next to no entry barrier to respond with dumb one-liners leads to this stuff. Maybe a hundred tards thought the same thing but didn't bother typing it out.

I find you very attractive, and you are a great kisser, but you won't fuck! At least let me play with them titties!?

Because you're getting too old and don't satisfy my hebe fetish anymore.

Because your dick is bigger than mine.

because i can

Not breaking up.
It's just a pause in the relationship. We'll be together again.
(actually break up forever and never talk to her again.)

Ever since you and me and Larry were hanging out and you agreed to let him give you a facial, I just cannot get that picture out of my mind, with his cum on your face. I know I could have stopped it, but I didn't. Now even kissing you is tainted.

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, girlfriend.

She looks like the crazy girl who will stalk you for months after the break up. Texting you, calling and bitching you out and then begging for it to be like old times. Trust me ive dealt with a couple and its really fucked.

Because your mom is a psycho bitch, and it is not worth hassling with anymore.

You wanted to out with other people, so go out with other people! What do you need me for?

Dat copy/paste tho...

Since you have been at Tennessee Tech, we have grown apart. I can't get the image out of my mind, of you with other guys. I am giving you your freedom. I can't share you.

I- I- I thought you had a feminine penis...

*anxiously plays with his fidget spinning fedora, avoiding eye contact*

You ate my cat.

Because my best friend has had his dick inside you! I just cannot deal with that!

Because a girl kissed me unexpectedly so I think I cheated since I feel bad about it. And I'll regret it in 6 months, and every relationship the future holds will always fail since all I'll be looking for is simply you.

Come on mary, you fucked my dog. I knew you were a freak but this, this is just fuckin weird.

Because traps are gay honey

Because you cut yourself way too often.

>because i found out you fucked 3 niggers before me, no fucking way am i staying with you.

>w-why are you breaking up with me?
your baby sister just had her 4th birthday...

Because user got trips

I suggest you finger out who your real talking two.

Because your mom is hotter than you. K bye.

Self hate much, user?

/Thread

I'll try harder. anything you want.

Really? After 5 years you're still asking that? Because you're going nowhere in life, before you know it you'll be 50 still working as a cashier and just getting by. Talking to your online friends if they haven't moved on by then about some niche child's game you all liked to play and probably still do. I'm not leaving you because I don't love you, I'm leaving you because there's no future for us. I hope you prove me wrong and end up doing something with your life that makes you happy, but I can't watch you waste your life anymore. Goodbye.

No future for us basically means, you're not earning enough money to pay for my vagina as what I think I am worth and taking care of my needs so I can leech off of you giving you less sex and attention as.

I fantasize about another man's cock which I will get pregnant and then blame it all on you because I am a selfish emotionally stunted child in the body of a grown woman.

Nothing personal, I just found out you dated a black guy