You're checking out at Wal-Mart. What 3 items are you buying to weird out the cashier?

You're checking out at Wal-Mart. What 3 items are you buying to weird out the cashier?

I'll start:
>Vaseline
>Condoms
>Kid's Bikini

The cashier wont give a shit and dosent even see the items as items,they are just objects that that go beep and then put in a back.

Personal experience here

Man, every time I go into a Meijer or Walmart around third shift the people always try to talk to me because I'm bored.

"Oh, why would you need Plan B? You can't even get pregnant!"

You want to shake and scream at these people.

3 faggot spinners

donuts, donut holes and glue

watermelon, fried chicken, and rope.

...

Danny devito cutout, lube, and some socks

Shovel, duct tape, urine stain remover

star of david, gas tank, and matches

>not a magnums for your magnum dong
you sound like a fucking bird

Candy
Duct Tape
Shovel

I worked 10 years at a grocery store.You were nothing but blobs of flesh that made chirp noises and smelled bad.The nanosecond i gave you your change and receipt you were forgotten

>>handcuffs
>>ski mask
>>rope

The last 3 items I bought at Wal-Mart were:
Coolant for my car
A can opener
Some socks

What do I win

Condoms. gummi bears and benadryl

remote control car, a gopro, and the cashier's skin

Milk
Bread
Peanut butter

>2 quarter of ground meat
>200 eggs
>kids bikini

A Barbie doll lube and a pool noodle

As a Walmart cashier, I can say that none of the lists in this thread would be even a little bit interesting to me.

>did this once
>cashier laughed his ass off
>called over 2 of his friends
>they laughed
>become known as the doughnut hole guy
>quit going to that Walmart for 5 years

So what three items would?

You barely make minimum wage. Your opinion doesn't matter.

>>Adult dippers
>>Toddler dippers
>>Lube

one cucumber, biggest tub of vaseline they have and a first aid kit

LOL

see

>Pregnancy test
>Coat hanger
>Baby wipes

KY, peanut butter, dog treats

>scissors
>tampons
>tylenol

Three of these would be the weirdest set I can image. It's pickled sausage.

They're only sold at the register. They smell like shit. They last on the shelf for years probably.

If someone bought three of these then it means they came to Walmart specifically for this and that would disgust me more than the usual customer does.

And I know my opinion doesn't matter.

>And I know my opinion doesn't matter.
then why are you fighting the memes? it's for the lulz, no need to be edgy.

You sound depressed. Are you the okay?

None of us are ok user. All of us have that one thing we go ape shit about. Its just how we are.
Not cashier bro though

I'm the ok but I'm still upset that pickled sausage exists.

calipers
calipers
calipers

>Sound prof ear phones
>Sleep mask
>As much bread as I could carry

Filet-O-Fish
Large fries
Apple pie

What are duct tape,condoms and sleeping pills for $600 Alex.

a walmart cashier? ok how about some soap a toothbrush and a book.

>10 years in a grocery store.
You're a big guy.

Those are sold in all gas stations here. My best friend buys them all the time and loves them. I got to smell them puked up when the dumb bastard made himself sick.

Delicious

Nice.

>pregnancy test
>hammer
>shovel

Catfood
Cheese
Tom and Jerry Dvd

I use the self checkout so they will never know

What's wrong with those? sure they're really unhealthy and processed, but they don't taste bad. I used to eat them as a kid, don't touch them at all now though.

usually the only thing worth getting mad over is the life of a significant other.

Well looks like I wont have to get mad over anything now! Thanks user!

Humidifier
Dehumidifier
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater

Shampoo, conditioner, toilet paper

Big Mama is for pussies. Tijuana Mama is where it's at.

>hatchet
>waterproof tarp
>crab cages

...

I am very concerned

Hot fudge, ham, and condoms

>"i'm Sorry" Hallmark Card
>Antifreeze
>Rat Poison
mind you im looking depressed af

and then ask the cashier if you can return the hammer and shovel "if it turns out you don't need them anymore".

He's just going crabbing. No biggie.

I would buy .223 ammo, lacy panties, and dog food.

>niggers

Cheeios, Kix, crazy glue.

This is the only one that would give me a chuckle

>granny panties
>flavored lube
>butterscotch hard candies

NOW IM EXTREMELY CONCERNED

what the fuck did you just fucking say to me you little customer? Ill have you know I worked in a supermarket for 10 years, Ive been involved in several cashier and customer service positions, and have caught over 300 confirmed shoplifters. You are nothing to me but blobs of flesh that make chirp noises. I will wipe your items across a scanner with speeds you have never seen before in a supermarket, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with treating me like a human being and talk to me? Think again fucker, as we speak I am tracking your purchase history and finding your address through our weekly saver paper, so prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes your pathetic 10c/gallon discount off of your saver card. You're dead, blob of flesh.I can stock anything, any time, all while returning the carts before my 30 minute lunch. Not only am I trained to call security to detain you for shoplifting but I have access to the arsenal of the camera systems and I will use it to my extent to make your shopping experience less convenient. If only you could have known what unholy retrubution your clever comment was going to bring upon you
didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, not the discount fromthe saver card, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, blob of flesh.

rope
Jelly beans
Cardboard box

>Watermelon
>Grape Kool-Aid
>Ebony Magazine

1. Rope
2. The largest bottle of Astroglide they have
3. Several different-sized pineapples

>pizza dough
>pizza sauce
>frozen pizza

Stool hardener
Stool softener
Ziplock baggies

Calm down M'aiq

>tic tacs
>funnel
>toy handcuffs

...

Holy shit, underrated af

Adult diapers
Eggplant
Vaseline

>donuts
>donut holes
>tape

25 cans of silver spray paint
socks
plastic bags

the real mvp here

Wine glass
Wine
Dinner for 1

Mirror
Razor blades
Straws

Wow you work at a fucking grocery store, you sure are better then me big guy. Faggot.

Whiskey
A whole lasagna
Bargain bin movies

Some niggas call that a tuesday.

lube
cucumber
teen magazine

>quran
>pipe
>endcaps

Tampons
Stain remover
Ladies' underwear

Feels

5.45x39mm ammunition, 20 cartridge pack
Vodka
Russian for dummies

Better yet,
Tampons
Stain remover
Plastic sheeting

Vaseline. Banana. Either a mothers day card or a sorry for your loss card.

Condoms, lip stick, full body tilapia

Toothpaste, mouthwash, hand soap

I have known, know and will know.

Пpaвдa? ты гoвopишь пo pyccки?

>gas can
>lighter
>full face beanie

gonna miss you grandma card
smallest condoms they have
rope

What the fuck is a full body tilapia?

toaster
bathplug
and a whole case of energy drinks.

>stuffed animal
>condoms
>fabric cleaner

>not getting milksteak and jellybeans while you're at the store

It was a joke mate I don't know any pycckn

>Watching that cringy fucking show.

alternatively, replace the card with dog treats