Airport Security fag here, ask me anything

Airport Security fag here, ask me anything.

How do i smuggle drugs and guns over the border?

Seriously, do security personnel ask passengers with computer to turn them on? (and why)

What's the biggest dildo you've ever found?

Britfags don't ask for devices to be turned on, but in the states they do. If a laptop etc had an explosive device hidden inside, enough components would have to be removed to make the device inoperable. Turning it on proves the device still works and doesn't have explosives inside.

Probably about 12 inches. I'v also found a cucumber covered in shit. Not joking.

I won't answer that, sorry.

How many hot men's dick have you seen or felt? No homo.

None intentionally, but i do remember taking a guy for a private search after our body scanner flagged up an anomaly in his crotch area. He pulled out the biggest dick i'v ever seen and said "theres your problem".

Do you ever worry about the fact that you spend 40 hours s week standing around operating x-ray machines?

this is bullshit, a big penis would not show up as an anomaly on an airport x-ray scanner.

is this a joke? how would airport security be able to distinguish a laptop as a bomb by it not turning on BETTER than by putting it through a fucking x-ray machine and seeing an explosive inside?

Intentionally set off the metal detectors with my car keys just so I get felt up. I'm a gay twink and love men in uniform touching near my dick.

Any xray equipment i work beside has lead curtains installed at the entrance and exit of the tunnel so as to minimise any xrays escaping. I don't worry about it too much

OP- how does it feel to know you're doing literally nothing to secure anything at all. You're a minor part in a Security Theater. Do you know that you can go to the GA side of the airport and literally walk on to the ramp with your hunting rifles and cases of ammunition?

There is literally nothing at all you do that's effective in anything but shuffling money into your poor empty blue collar pockets. It's a government jobs program.

No it doesn't.

what do you enjoy more, fondling a guy's nutsack or fisting a biches cunt?

What was that shit you assholes wiped on the ace bandage I had wrapped around my ankle?

We use millimetre wave scanners, not metal detection as some people believe. They use a female and male scan mode and use average data. If someone has an exeptionally large package then it will show as an anomally, same as if someone had a package of drugs etc hidden in their underwear. If you don't believe me then i dont really give a shit.

I sometimes fly with liquid morphine in a travel shampoo bottle in my carry on bag. How likely am I to ever be caught?

I don't know honestly. It's a US thing that iv never understood. It's clearly obvious viewing a laptop under xray conditons if it has been tampered with or not. Its a pointless excercise.

do you pack your own lunches or do you get takeout/fastfood?

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ye- no...

Liquid morphine is a legal drug under prescription. We may test the liquid for explosives, but it will test negative so we dont care whats inside if it doesn't go boom.

No it doesn't, troll.

Maybe thats how it works for the TSA in America but not where i work. We give a shit about the job we do.

I treat passengers with respect and courtesy, basically the way i would want to be treated when i fly with my family. Some of them are just fucking bullys who like some illusion of power.

One time I forgot my shampoo bottle in my carry-on and TSA took it and I was thinking what the fuck it's just shampoo? Don't give me the big liquids explode or do something on planes since that's bullshit

Looks at an xray machine next time you put your baggage on the conveyor. If it does'nt have black curtains on the exit and entry points then it legally shouldn't be operated for your safety and mine.

random Xray nudes of surprisingly hot milfs, goh.

Your giving a shit makes ZERO difference.

I am a pilot and I ferry planes internationally from the US to pretty much everywhere other than Australia.

Get this through your dense head- NOTHING you're doing is making any difference at all. You're an inconvenience to good people. Other than a metal detector and an X-ray looking for guns- you're totally useless.

This isn't my opinion, its fact.

Spend some time looking at how someone could do harm if they wanted to. They wouldn't do it within .25 km of you.

Both passengers and staff can take food through (sandwiches etc) unless it's an especially liquid form like soup etc.

Got him good

Extremely low in the domestic US

What happens before people get to security checkpoints is none of my concern, only what/who is going on to aircraft. I would be interested to find out how you would feel about flying your aircraft if passengers could just walk in to your plane off the street with no security checks whatsoever.

It is an inconvenience, but your argument doesn't make sense outside of that. If someone really wants to do anything they could probably pull it off. Kill the president, hack bank accounts, blow up a plane, etc. security screening keeps the general percentage of people from justly walking in with guns. Beyond that, you're basically saying it's not safe to go outside ever because something bad could happen. Something's bad always happens somewhere. It's statistics and chance. I assume you're a basement troll who does nothing but watch the news and look up conspiracy theories all day kek