How do you actually make a doctor think you are sick?

How do you actually make a doctor think you are sick?
Need some time off work

Mental diseases usually doesn't have physical symptoms - so go with something like depression with suicidal tendencies. Just read up on it online, and make up a story that includes a good amount of the symptoms.

Act like you are going to go insane because of work. You might get you work to pay for the doctor that way as well

>Implying this doesn't make me end up in an insane asylum

A depression isn't severe enough for that.

They'll probably just put you on anti depressants, but you can just sell those.

Stick something sharp up your ass

It shouldn't
I have a friend that works for the US postal service and like once a year he checks into the doctor and tells him he's going to snap if he doesn't get time off and then he gets like a week pay vacation

Tell him/her you're a Sup Forumstard

Talk about how your daddy diddled you and shit yourself at the same time

Don't know how it works in the rest of the world, but most Australian doctors will just give you a medical certificate if you go in and ask for one.

just say you cant sleep, have trouble focusing, nothing interests you and you have trouble eating boom depression

All you have to do is say you are feeling run down and would like to take some time off to prevent a real illness. It's not like you are asking the doc for a prescription. You paid your copay the doctor won't give a shit about writing a note excusing you for a bit from work.

>Ingest some unusual object, just about anything that you can swallow,
>go to dr
>complain of stomach pain
>get scan
>unusual object found
>have surgery to remove object

Thats kind of what i have

Stress leave....

I'll try that then, thanks

That kills people

tell your doctor you've become attracted to lolis and traps on Sup Forums, hell know what to do

Just show them your fidget spinner and get registered autistic

tell him you are tired and have dizzyness, you have loss of balance, general headache (not too strong) and feel a bit of nausea.
Everything is not certifiable by exams and can get 2-3 days off work.

Migranes man, go in there with sun glasses on, act extremely sensitive to light, they'll give you a shot full of some good stuff and a doctors note on the way out. EZ PZ

Thats actually a really good idea

Fuck you noone cares

I've done it before, best place to go is urgent care not ER

Show him your dick.

edge

I care