Tim Heidecker

...

Other urls found in this thread:

soundcloud.com/timheidecker/i-am-a-cuck
vimeo.com/172044629
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

BIG

GUY

LIBTARD

soundcloud.com/timheidecker/i-am-a-cuck
Damn... really makes you think...

>Tim is the only human alive on more layers of irony than the entirety of Sup Forums combined

How can we compete?

gotobed tim

False, that is Eric. Eric is way more ironic than Tim. Eric is the cool one to be honest.

We get it Tim you're looking for material

Just stop being a cunt to Eric and collab again its what you're missing. Who gives a shit if people know you as 'Tim and Eric' instead of just 'Tim', its a good thing that produced good content

Suck it up or kill yourself because we all know those are the options you have available

Fact

do they not get along anymore? What's going on with eric?

Oh, lay an egg Eric.

Who was the one coming up with the wisecracks alla the time? me.

Who was the one doing all the talent scouting and set perusing? me.

I was the brains behind the op and you had to come in and RUIN it.

Well, now look where we are: I have a great show with a great line-up of guests and you're just wasting away with some two-bit schmucks, playing your time away.

I grind, Eric. That's why Decker, Dekkar and a whole new Tim comedy universe is emerging. And me and Gregg will be seated atop our kingdom, laughing at those alt-right "MDE" dweebs, popping corn and sipping soda and you'll be missing out on the fun.

Capeesh?

Eric's adventures around the world with cute alternative chicks makes me super jealous. He's also a good video editor, his Instagram is very high quality.

Tim, you and Eric need to get back together. I miss uses. I believe we miss uses. I hope you miss each other.

They're still making Bedtime Stories though.

>What's going on with eric?
Oh you don't want to know.
vimeo.com/172044629

Hey Tim, how about this?
>a tv series based around an internet troll.
>troll is a grossly overweight, hairy, smelly virgin
>IQ of 125
>lives in crippled Mom's basement
>so lazy he shits in disposable gloves so he can get five shits per glove
>doesn't actually talk on the show
>thoughts are voiced over by hunky actor
>each episode he destroys a different celebrity's life via his sharp witted brand of internet trolling
Profit.

>Tim spamming threads about himself on Sup Forums so he can make the "4channers" go after him and make him e-relevant again

Go away Tim

Tim & Gregg > Tim and Eric tbҺ fαm

You mean Gregg & Tim

>Help her up and carry her disoriented body to my place.
>Let her sleep on my bed as I sleep on the couch.
>Deal with her freak out when she wakes up.
>Ask her if she's ok.
>"You don't have to tell me what happened, but you do have to eat this." as I hand her a bowl of eggs.
>Ask if she needs a ride home.
>Tell her to take care.

What?

I give this post 5 bags of popcorn and a miniature Neil Hamburger figurine.

Heh... Nice try kid, but I'll always be the cuck king.

If I think the original version from Louis is funnier than the cuck edit does that make me old or a cuck? This is important.

It makes you Hitler

...

YOU HAVE TO EAT THIS!

*****URGENT POST ALERT******

I'm not big on history but was Hitler a cuck? I need some definite answers here and Wikipedia isn't helping.

*****URGENT POST ALERT******

...

Wow this post is very Timlike.

...

I just want to know if I'm old okay!? I'm afraid to die! and I'm afraid of not looking cool! A cool, hip guy like me dies a thousand deaths, don't you know!

INT. TIM HEIDECKER'S FANCY SPACIOUS BEDROOM

Tim and his unattractive wife lay in bed, 3 feet apart. His fingers tap his 5,000 thread-count Egyptian cottton sheets.

TIM: Sooo, honey-

WIFE: Do you see that I'm reading? What did I tell you?

TIM: Ooh, sorry, just a little on my mind, did some great funny stuff today.

His wife's silence is interrupted by laughter wafting out of the television set. Stephen Colbert is wearing a sombrero. Tim thinks to himself, "I did that first."

Tim taps and drums a Yacht Rock tune a little harder on the sheets. His wife turns her body slightly away from him.

TIM: It was funnnyyyy though. It was about Trump and his disgusting Nazi follo-

WIFE: Stop! Do you think I want to think about HITLER right now? Or am I trying to escape into my book? Did we not talk about this, Tim? Pretty sure we did. Save it for tomorrow or whatever.

TIM: But you're leaving for Turkey and India tomorrow.

A half-packed suitcase sits on Tim's outstretched legs as he slowly folds numerous pieces of expensive crotchless lingerie.

The Colbert segment ends and goes to commercial. An Old Spice ad pops on screen.

TIM: Uh, sorry to bother you again honey, but I think the remote is on your side.

Silence.

TIM: Can I please have the remote?

"OOOOLD SPIIIce, GETS YOU LAID DAWG, OLD SPICE BABY! POW!"

TIM: Helooooo, remote controlll please, dear.

WIFE: THAT'S IT! [slams book closed] I'm staying at Roarke's house tonight, I'll come by in the morning for my suitcase, leave it out on the front steps and have Rosalita or the gardener guard it. I am NOT starting my pre-Autumn vacation by being harassed by you.

TIM: Oh well fiiiiine, chief.

Tim checks another item-to-be-packed off the list as he skillfully fits his wife's 7 pound makeup kit into the suitcase. He sees that the remote control was under it the whole time, and as his wife puts a trenchcoat over herself, calls her driver, and stomps out of the room, Tim softly flagellates himself for his error.

I actually read a book on the sex lives of dictators, and im an "alt-right" "nazi."

Hitler was reported to have a fetish for women abusing his genitals, His niece, Eva was apparently repulsed by him when he asked her to kick him in the groin to satisfy him. No joke.

There was no mention anywhere of a cuckolding fetish, though.

Aww fuck so I'm old then. Well that's just fucking great. I knew I was getting older every year ever since I started going on Sup Forums. These fucking trolls are stealing my essence.

Its absolutely shocking how much Eric relied on DJ Dougpound to make his style 'work'

At least Tim can stand on his own (kinda), Eric is nothing without other people to elevate his work. Granted when that does occur he's brilliant, but he's just shit solo

>Eric is nothing without other people to elevate his work.
I wouldn't say that, he's made some fairly good music videos.

DJ Douggpound was actually in a slightly red-pilled video mixing group before his T&E days.

I can't find any of their old videos, but they were pretty good. One was an apocalyptic news cast (lots of bad ones like that on youtube) and the other was a very MDE-ish onslaught of brands and advertisements and shit.

But the manlet went full cuck, shame.

BASED

That is so horrible. Is that terrible artist "Carly Mark" his girlfriend?

You're never gonna be Paul McCarthy or an important artist, Eric. Sorey breh. Sorey Carly.