Craigslist thread: Post stories, share funny/bizarre/shitty ads, etc

Craigslist thread: Post stories, share funny/bizarre/shitty ads, etc.

Other urls found in this thread:

cleveland.craigslist.org/cas/6194379106.html
twitter.com/AnonBabble

cleveland.craigslist.org/cas/6194379106.html

Guy is pimping out his real doll.

>travelling through US, poorfag so pretty much hitch hiking my way through.
>see add for cheap roomshare for the night. Why not right?
>Meet the guy at the door he seems pretty nice, shows me my room it's not amazing but its a bed.
>Fast forward, its 2am and I go to grab a glass of water. Guy is on the couch, I notice he's jerking off, i'm like wtf.
>He says if I suck his dick I can stay for the week for free.
>Suck his his dick, its huge and hardly fit in my mouth, he was deepthroating me and came down my throat.
>i spent all week sucking his dick and eventually let him fuck me. It hurt but I loved it.

Not gay btw

Fucking every thread.
Leave you fucking gay lord.

>every thread

Went to this guy's house in a bad neighborhood. Needed to piss. Went to a bar across from the guy's house. Tons of old drunk raspy voiced women keep insisting that they saw me on TV. Tell them that I'm an actor lmao

>being this surprised and triggered

Dude was getting rid of an organ, said I could have it for free. mine broke, so I went to his house, the organ doesn't even work which he didn't tell me, and he is simultaneously baking six pies in his oven. I didn't know what the fuck was going on so when he was in the kitchen I literally ran out of the house. Fuck Craigslist.

Got the worst bj ever from some blonde milf in front of her beta husband. It was bad.

>horny and no standards, browsing casual encounters
>reply to dude offering blowjobs to straight guys
>write to him, email back and forth, he's ready ASAP
>almost chicken out but drive over, he meets me in the parking lot and we walk to his apartment
>starts feeling up my crotch immediately, i'm nervous but it feels great so I get into it
>walk to his bedroom, suddenly get instant "bad feeling", he wants me to sit on his bed and i notice his laptop open, sitting awkwardly at an angle on his desk like it could be recording right where i'd be getting head
>say "this will sound silly but would you shut your laptop? i'm paranoid about being caught doing this"
>he gets suddenly weird, refuses, says if i don't want to get blown then that's my problem
>shrug and take off

I'm honestly not sure, it's just as likely that I over-reacted really hard. But I had such a surreal feeling, almost spidey sense. Even if I was wrong, oh well.
I got my cock sucked in my car later that evening, was great. Just not interesting.

>I literally ran out of the house

lol

which organ was it though?

>willingly get dick sucked by a guy
>straight

pick one.

Well duh. I wasn't saying I'm completely straight, that was just what his ad was. You could argue about definitions of sexuality as far as "straight" but getting head from dudes, but that wasn't my intention to get into that as I don't care at all.
(and you'd think that was sort of implied from a craigslist thread anyhow)

...

...

bump

>checking out ad's on CL (mw4m) email couple looking for a third, he wants to watch me fuck his girl, pretty common request
>few exchanges and voice confirmation, decide to meet up at hotel room, I bring a friend , (never know) and she said it would be okay.
>her man opens the door and a pretty brunette white girl, late 20's is already on the bed face down spread
>She has a blindfold on and I let her suck my dick, and my friend is eating her out, before he gets behind her and fucks her
> we swap a few times positions with her and shes curious as to what we look like and removes blindfold
> At first she doesn’t recognize me, but I recognize her, its my kids second grade teacher!
> after initial shock, figures oh well and gets back to fuckin us

I mean least you can do is fuck is a girl.
Like this one.
Its not fun
Shes fucking crazy I've gone to great lengths to not talk to her and ahh yea.
>Will not leave me the fuck a lone
>help me

friend and me -lookin to tag team a girl posted an ad. Most of the time they are bullshit, flakes or pic collectors, but sorting though the bs, a local woman contacted us and wasn’t too far and agreed to meet us at motel room she had booked. When we get there, she answers the door naked, before us is a tall, in shape blonde and then bam..we know her! Shes stationed at the air base we are all at! Really awkward moment, but everyone’s cards are on the table so we just get down to what she wanted, to get fucked. Met her a few times after that too, fun bedroom entertainment

I keep seeing an ad for a guy who will let a man hit , kick, and squeeze his balls. My girl thinks that would be funny to watch.

...

>last winter, heater goes out
>post on cl, will eat pussy for some heat
>over 9000 bots later one lady replies
>back and forth, she sends me a pic of her tits and the time
>go to hotel, she has the hest cranked up
>but even in the low light I can see she is ugly
>like gremlins ugly, 5 feet 300 lbs
>whatever, i wanted heat
>"dont evem think about fucking me user, wont happen!"
>yeah we will see about that, chow time, going through the motions
>she is rubbing my head and moaning
>i am thinking about how much i hate the Sierra Club
>fucking assholes harassed my friend until he committed suicide
>she comes, hardly noticed,
>rub her fat tits and ask her if she is ready to get fucked
>she grabs my dick and shoves it in
>i start fucking this goblin
>minute man, chow time does that, so i keep fucking
>thoughts drift, did you know ~1000 people died from nuclear panic during Fukushima, but no one died from radioactive dose?
>she comes again
>o yeah, sex, i cum again
>she passes out, I bounce
>sends me an angry text about cumming in her, says i wil pay for her kid
I am a mutant, and unable to have kids, not that she knew that
>say ok,and hit me up next time she is in town
>she comes back a month later and we fuck again

>me browsing CL one morning
>see cl post for traveler looking for blowjob before check-out time
>offer my services
>he accepts and tells me where/room
>quickly clean self, apply lotion and deodorant so I smell a little feminine
>put on black bra and panties
>throw on guy clothes before heading out
>arrive at motel
>apply lipstick and head to room
>he answers door in towel
>I enter and strip down to bra and panties
>He complements me on my choice
>I go down on my knees to suck his cock
>he puts his hand on my head, calling me a slut as I sock his dick
>moaning in excitement around his cock, enjoying being a slut.
>he pushes my head down on his cock, forcing it into my throat, gagging me briefly
imlovingit.jpg
>I keep sucking him, intermittently getting throat fucked
>he warns me he is about to cum
>I suck his cock like the greed cum whore I am.
>He shoots his hot load and I swallow it all.

>I got dressed and left wishing there was time for more

>2014
>living in madison, wi
>occassionally browse craigslist for weird shit
>Find this old man in rants and raves on milwaukee craigslist bitching about how some local business isnt respecting flag code
>start emailing him from my real email telling him hes full of shit and a crusty old man
>he starts emailing me back my parents address, pictures of my family including my 10 year old sister and my pets, saying hes a vietnam vet and hes batshit crazy and hes gonna show up their with printed out messages telling them i disrespected the united states of america if i dont send him back pictures of me helping out a vet
>block his email, never hear from him again

>living in the bible belt, found an m4m ad
>back and forth for a while, he's apparently never done anything with a guy before
>finally agrees to give an address
>arrive
>turns out there were three guys trying to smear a queer
>came out with a baseball bat and shit
>I peel out and never do CL hookups again

another night another CL encounter...

>sitting at home feeling slutty
>find CL post with cock pick from man that says he's smoking weed and wants to get off.
>send him bra and panties(white this time) pic and offer blow job.
>he sends address.
>drive over to address, he's standing beside house. 5'10" 300+ in tee shirt and baggy shorts.
>follow him into back bedroom of house
>only light is from a TV with porn playing
>he sits in recliner and pulls out cock
>I strip down to bra and panties in the low light
>I go down on my knees, eager to suck
>worshiping cock as he starts to rub hands over me
>he feels me up through bra, then rubs my panty covered ass.
>I moan around his cock.
>he starts pressing finger into me through my panties
>I moan more
>He says he wants to fuck me
>I stop sucking long enough to get a condom out and open.
>use mouth to slide condom onto his cock
>get down on all four and pull down panties to offer my ass.
>He mounts me, pushing cock into me
ohyesss.gif
>He starts thrusting and pushing me down.
>I get pressed down flat, he is on top of me, pinning me down as he fucks me
>I moan like a whore, begging to be fucked more.
>He cums fast, slowing down to grind into me, grunting
>he gets second wind and starts pumping again.
>getting fucked hard, and loving it
>He starts grunting and getting louder
>I'm moaning like a slut
>He bucks his hips as he cums again.
>After a moment he gets up, breathing hard.
>I get up to my knees and turn around.
>He pulls of the condom and throws it away.
>I suck his cock clean.
>I get dressed and leave my panties as his trophy
>do slut walk back to car

Any more stories?

Pure ... fiction.

yes, though not really CL related
no, they're real. I'm just ugly so I only get the desperate guys that don't care

How'd you end up using CL to get laid?

Post pics? I'd probably hit it.

I browse for men that want to get off, but are not likely to worry too much about looks.

guys that are either short on time, or just very eager to get off without having to play games.

Let's face it, why pay a hooker, or play the hole bar room scene if you can get some old fag in panties to just blow you and leave.

>smoking crack
>horny as fuck
>post ad for BBW, offering oral sex
>girl shows up - not bbw at all, really cute. lick her puss till she comes. need to go rock up. she isn't leaving. make casual talk. realize we went to highschool with same people. akward. she leaves, never hear from again.

>later that night
>still rocking up
>girl number 2
>shows up
>pretty heavy
>dont care
>her pussy takes fucking horrible. like overcooked onion rings. Somehow I finish her off.
>after she leaves
>cant get the oily stink off my fingers
>2 weeks later
>herpes on the mouth

thanks craigslist!

I doubt it, unless you have low standards

welp im hard

met a guy on CL ended up meeting in a park sucking his cock and taking a golden shower from him. good times.

wow

Try me.

saved

>gay lord.
its like i time traveled back to 1993!

>me on road trip
>red bra and panties on under clothes
>have to pee badly
>hit rest area off interstate
>rush to stall, because sissies sit to pee
>sitting on toilet, bra and panties showing as I pee
aahhhhh....
>realize someone is outside of stall peeking at me
>make a show of playing with boobs/bra
>he goes into handicap stall
>finish peeing, leave stall and follow him, leaving bra and panties on display.
>he's already pulling cock out
>go down on knees and start sucking like a good slut.
>get him off and swallow
> he pulls together and leaves.
I take a little longer, hoping another man might catch me first. it didn't happen.

hermitcockslut on tumblr

If only CL didn't mask emails....

What state?

south west, I travel a lot

it isn't that hard. they only block names one way. if you use your real account, it is really easy to figure out who you are.

did you know a gaylord is a real thing? fucked with my head man

...

Bought and sold several cars and motorcycles over the years. Decent deals/trades. Only got ripped off once, kinda ripped a guy though so it evens out.

That would be hot as fuck if she was your second grade teacher

Bump 4 more

Nothing all that interesting here. Saw some rather cringy scat play ads the other night, but no pics for em.

This one was pretty bad. Anyone wanna thirty second rimjob?

...

Many of those are real, the cuckold/hotwife thing is a pretty common fetish. I think it's interesting.
A lot of those are also just dudes using pics they found somewhere to collect dick pics, especially attached to bodies/faces, since those posts get like 128998712 replies.
(not saying that post is one way or the other)

More like 1985, pup.

>I'm honestly not sure, it's just as likely that I over-reacted really hard.
No, you definitely did the right thing there. If he was that keen to blow you and closing his laptop was no big deal then he would have just done it. You foiled his plan and he tried to conceal it.

"Excited by Role Playing? Can you return the favor? - w4m"

Guys I found a woman totally into sexy RP!