PLZ HELP Sup Forums
So long story short
>be me
>27, m, I live in Louisiana
> live in a pretty secluded area
> sometime lie down outside naked
> one day I notice a lot of spores
> think nothing of it
> decided to lie down
> scrape my dick while getting down on a twig
> forget about it and rest
>wake up and go inside
> 4 hours later I go to sleep
>Wake up in the middle of the night
> got to go pee
> don't turn on the lights
> try to pee but nothing comes out
> think it's my prostate so I turn on the lights and wake up
>notice mushroom on the side of my dick
>think it's from when I was lying down so I try to brush it off
> doesn't come off now I'm freaking out
>lightly tug on it and feel it pull from my lower abdomen
>holy shit
Help guys any Medfags out there I now feel it in my rib cage and I'm freaking the fuck out
Pic unrelated
PLZ HELP Sup Forums
Bump for possible answer
PLEASE GUYS IM FUCKING FREAKING OUT
>No
>Fucking
>Way
As a mycologist i can guarantee there are no mycelium which fruit that fast.
Me too I don't fucking know how it happened. I live near a sewage plant if that helps
GUYS ITS GREYISH AND ITS BLOCKING MY PEE I NEED HELP
GUYS PLEASE
It might not even be that deep I'm just too afraid to touch it
Should I pull it out
...
Post a picture if you're not shitting us
It's not bait I swear
I don't own any camera my computer is an old dell
dont own a phone?
I'm going to guess you don't own a car either, which is unfortunate because your only other option at this point is to go to the hospital and have your penis removed.
otherwise, you'll be dead in a couple days
If you're serious just rip it the fuck out and hope for the best otherwise I'm hanging myself for taking the b8
I'd rip that shit off if I were you, jesus.
Shit ok I'll try pulling it out
dont hang pupper
pls
Fuck me
What does the mushroom look like?
Moment of truth here I go
Not with that mushroom growing on your fucking dick, who do you think I am?
worst
mycelium
ever
Do it fag
...
He may have discovered a new kind. When people study it, it will be named the Dickshroom, in honor of its first location.
>737081415
Your dick fall off?
Ok FUCK ME THERE IS JUST A FUCKING GAP AND A FEW SECONDS LATER BLOOD STARTED FUCKING COMING OUT WTF DO I FUCKING DO NOW
If this is real, compress the wound by holding a towel or something to it and contact 911. If not, this is entertaining bait.
Post pictures asap.
...
I DONT HAVE A PHONE FUCK DUDE IM GETTING LIGHT HEADED I FEEL FUCKING BUZZED DUDE
FUCK GUYS I THINK THIS MAY BE THE END IM DUCKING CRYING AND BLEEDING A FUCKING WHOLE LOT GUYS I DONT HAVE ANYTHING TO CAUTERIZE THE WOUND WITH AM I FUCKED
if this is real, go on social media and post something like "Send an ambulance to this address."
Acting like a fag if this is bait, but 0 fucks given.
You sure it wasn't just a sheep tick or something
Post pics of it. I'm intrigued
Op is oddly silent. I wonder if tomorrow there will be a news report somewhere about a man who lived in the woods and pulled something out of is Johnson after taking advice of strangers on Sup Forums. The keks would be had in bunches that day.
Pics or it didn't happen.