I'm on patrol in this sector, and I--I have a date tonight. Nervous about it, Sup Forums. Any thoughts?

I'm on patrol in this sector, and I--I have a date tonight. Nervous about it, Sup Forums. Any thoughts?

It is a cruel, unforgiving world out there, but you needn't go it alone.
You have backup.
Let us strategize as cleverly as possible, so that today's troubles may become tomorrow's conquest.

For the Glory of Anonkind, I ask you: what is on your mind?

>advice
>vent
>relax

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Reporting, g'evenin'

I just want nudes from some qt emo grils

Well, I'm reporting for duty, but I received communication your scanner unit is in for repairs tonight.

Good afternoon 2B, I'm out for dinner but I'm waiting for my food so I suppose I'll join in for a bit

-Al

Evening Rock, good to have you with us. Did you receive the dossier?

Tried talking to girls online?

Good to have you, Sky. And thank you for the heads up. He's not in too bad of shape, is he?

Do as you will. Out of the hospital yet?

I've been out for about 8 hours now

-Al

Big sis is having a date, that's nice I guess.

I don't ask girls for nudes. Against my philosophy. But that being said, I still want them.

Not a problem and no he simply needs time to recuperate from daily expenditures. I hope you're date goes smoothly, though I have no particular concerns that I will!

Long time no see, and you're never on the threads so i missed even more stuff :/ Hospital? What happened? How did you get hurt?

Right when I hit 'Post', I realized what you had said. Never would've taken you for one to eat out, Al.

We'll see how it turns out. It's only as friends, though.

You're...you're on the Internet. Literally billions of photos are at your fingertips.

tried to fit too many dicks in my mouth
-al

Ah? A date? How'd that happen~? Did it just fall into your lap or are you trying to put yourself out there?

I'm on the internet?

Hi 2b!! Its great to see you! I have a bad case of the flu, so I'm gonna lurk and eventually go to bed. I called in sick from work. Let's hope I beat this thing soon.

Understood. We all deserve a break now and again, don't we? Especially that particular Scanner unit.

Sky, advise me on how to relate to other people.

You should know of all people. You're it.

You're in a series of tubes, at the very least.

Hey Mantis! Sorry to hear that, I guess it was only a matter of time before a summer sickness caught hold of you. Take care of yourself and have a speedy recovery.

Good Evening 2B, How are you?

I want hug (^v^)

There aren't qt emo girls, why do you think most emo males are gay? Because all emo girls are fat, so since emo males basically all dress like girls you could just ask them instead.

Well then...How many is too much for you exactly?

The stuff online won't cut it, huh. You go out and meet anyone?

Heya, good evenin'

Whatcha gettin?

Good to be here too. Yep, I received it. I've been studying it.

And silly me, I missed that! You have a date, huh. What are you going to do?

Hiya Bun

Hey Mantis! I'm sorry to hear you have a flu though, damn, that bites.

What do you have for it?

Heya Velvet. You ever get that ice cream :v

*hug* What's up, user?

Here I thought I was going to have to let you go off and spend time with someone else! Heh...
~Reisen

Ah, the simplest way is to ask questions of the other person and offer feedback to their responses only when they are fully done speaking. Active listening goes a long way.

Hamster died (._.)

>

I got shot, nothing major, I'm fine now. You should be seeing me around more.

Everyone likes some Chinese every once in a while, plus, I've got to put on some more weight. Body fat percentage is dangerously low at 1.8% and I've got to eat about 30k calories to get it back up to normal in a decent amount of time.

One of everything, I'm pretty hungry.

That's a shame, will you be getting another one?

-Al

I'm very sorry. I used to have a few hamsters.

Not bad at all Velvet, thanks for asking. In high spirits, actually. A strange mixture of anticipatory nerves and excitement.

And yourself? Learned to accept gratitude yet?

*pats your head* I'm sure another member would be more than happy to oblige.

I'll be watching a movie with her. An artsy, avant-garde, sub-texty kind of movie.

Studying? That's what I like to hear. Operations begin tonight. Seen 9H around?

I'd never overbook on you, you know that.

I'm getting a turtle

>her

you're a lezzy?

Good evening.

*hug*

Oh, turtles are great pets. I've had one myself for a few years.

-Al

... Heh. You know how to put a smile on my face. I talked to 9H a good deal this morning. I'll tell you about it tonight, I imagine.
~Reisen

you lot can thank me later
>snap teens .net

Yoo, need advice starting out on Tinder.
What're the essential infos I should put in my bio?
Should I really be myself or should I try faking it?
What about pictures? I look like shit in every photo I've been in so I'm not really sure bout it.

This vid made my decision :-)

youtu.be/cmapcYDxVMI

You should prepare a little coffin and bury it, i did the same with my goldfish, mine was trying to relate to its owner, so much in fact that it killed himself by jumping out of the bowl of water, guess he was depressed too. We found it days after all dried up, on the ground...That was a sad day.

Wow how did that happen?! Are you in the army or something?

No, but I might..

I'm a little better than usual, I was able to swap out my radiator today, so No need to worry about it anymore.

And no, I will never accept gratitude I am undeserving of.

give me some oats

No. Oats.

What if they never shut up? What if I have absolutely zero interest in what they had just said after speaking?

How much weight did you lose while in the hospital? How much of your gains have you lost...

...

I'm bi.

Understood. Also, would a midnight screening work for you or 10pm? Your time.

Considering Tinder is largely based off of impulse first-impressions, it doesn't really matter much what you put in for into.

Your photos, however...you're going to want to isolate your top 3. You have others who you could get their take on them, right?

And don't be honest. Withhold your negative traits. Once you get the girl, you'll have all the time in the world to show her just how terrible you can be.

Here are some oats, my brother.

How's it going?

Taking good pictures is aaaaall about the angle, the expression, the little things. Everyone looks worse when you flatten them down into an image like that. And we all have to work with it. Figure out the better side of your face, get some good lighting and just... Take a lot of them.

No, a gang in my particular area had a problem with me, and I with them.

17 pounds, more or less. My muscles are doing just fine, they thank you for asking about them.

-Al

Damn... I'm so sorry... I know how that goes. What was their name?

Ooo, what kind of food?

Sounds nice~ What movie?

And yep! I'm just re reading it, trying to understand it more. Yep, I have. We spoke a bit.

What would you get?

Heya Fenn~ How're you?

you heartless little shit , ill slam your fucking face into the side of the barn

I am mediocre , thank you for the oats

10 my time would be best, however if you're busy until midnight, that's okay.

I'm alright Rock. I'm always alright. How are you?

Anything specific got you down?

His name was Kaldor

Chinese. American Chinese though, you can't find real Chinese food here sadly. Well, maybe you can, but it would be difficult.

-Al

Try these. Little brown sugar on top. Pat of butter.
Oooooooh yeah!

Pig feets aren't made to link posts on Sup Forums apparently.

Radiator was giving you trouble, huh? You're a mechanic, Velvet?

Someday, I'm going to get the best of you. Someday.

Excellent advice here, user. I suggest you follow Reisen's instruction. Remember, no below-eye-level photos, turn 3/4 to a side, make sure to avoid any over-head light sources.

You need to share that wealth, Al. I'm getting stronger, but not nearly quick enough.

How is he?

And the title of the movie is 'Koyaanisqatsi'

Hm. 10 it is.

If you have no interest you ask a question that has more meaning to you. As far as talking too much, sometimes a timely interuption is called for and sometimes it's relieving. There are times people talk to much in order to feel more comfortable with their situation, but it can be extremely stressful for them and being interrupted kindly tells them "it's ok you don't have to work so hard".

Chocolate.

Not a Mechanic, a Grease monkey. I only actually work on my own car.

Hi Scarlet! I've been looking for you on these threads lately to ask you how things were...Since you know, last time we had that special conversation, i still didn't forget about it. You seem a lot better though this time around, did something special happen perhaps?

I envy you slightly, at least your life us somewhat interesting, how did you fix the issue? You ended up in a hospital but i have a gut feeling they didn't get better than that.

Sit on my face pls

great another group of avatarfags that feels special.

I'll grant you strength if you pay for my food.

They won't be a problem anymore and we'll leave it at that.

-Al

Those are pretty solid pieces of advice there, 2B. All things I would watch out for. No one looks flattering from below eye level, generally.

I'm doing pretty good! Anything new with you?

Mm.. Kaldor... Now, I'm not a religious type, but I'll have a little prayer for Kaldor.

Ah, you know, I had a feeling you'd get chinese food. Sounds pretty good right about now.

He's a little troubled. Today wasn't a very good day, but I think it'll be okay.

Huh, looks pretty nice. I like the premise.

Niccee(cream)

Guys I really need advice

Does replying to her make me a cuck?
How can I respond to this and keep my cool

*scribbles down notes* So, getting up and walking away mid-sentence is generally inexcusable?

Oh, I see. Still, that's a very handy skillset to have. All I know how to do is change flats, oil, and flush a radiator. But replacing one, that seems far too daunting of a task.

>

You know it. Each and every one of these guys is special, in their own way. Only met one I didn't like.

No doubt it would surpass the GDP of a small country.

Yet becoming intimate requires a switch to that perspective.

Flushing a Radiator is fun, We have a machine we use at the shop. I also do Transmission flushes, and replace all under the hood fluid for a car.

who me? I am in my prime nothing bad ever penetrates my consciousness
yes a bit of milk and utter heaven
your snidely and derogatory remarks will never dampen my spirit little child

Jack? Is that you?

Okidoki then, just hope the implications aren't too high, so anyway, get well soon! I hope you got lucky and have some pretty nurses taking care of you after getting shot by these thugs.

>Does replying to her make me a cuck?
I don't see how. Just schedule a day to smoke together again, she seems chill about it, so do you.

nah user that all seems alright. if you worry about being a "cuck" or how you will look like to other people, then how will u enjoy yourself?
idk, that all seems fine and fun

Noted. Thank you for the intel.

It depends on what you want, really. She was fairly clear there; she's not up for anything serious.

If a serious relationship is your primary objective, then yes, you're a cuck for bothering with her. Otherwise? Message her back, tell her you'd like to smoke again sometime.

Depends on your boundaries. If you want to be friends, be friends, if you want more and she doesn't then be okay with being friends and move on. For the reply it doesn't matter as much as your mindset.
I would say so.

Uh... user, this is simple. Did you enjoy toking with her? Toss out all the sexy times you've got floating around in your head, it's clearly not gonna happen. She doesn't want that, she said as much. But if you enjoyed hanging out with her, then... Why not be friends? Just be sure she isn't using you for your... "resources", as it were. After all, I'll bet you guys smoked your stuff, not hers, right?

I made you a get-well card, but I forgot to get anyone to sign it, and I wasn't around when you got back. Sorry.

Is that one you didn't like me?

It is pretty good right about now.

So, how're you doing?

The nurses and I have gotten along very well. There are quite a few who want to know me better.

-Al

I don't see why it would. Just go and hang out, get to know her more. At least just spend time as friends.

No problem, sis. Always happy to be of service.
Nice, nice. You were pretty hungry, that I know.

P-pfft.. Yeah, that's true enough.

Atleast I can get oats on my own.
Cute.

Some things, but they don't matter.

Well, that's good. With a powerful enough positive attitude you can be happy forever, I guess.

Just keep hanging out and smoking with her. Friends are more valuable than you think; don't worry about whether or not it will evolve into something more. It probably won't. But she'll make a good friend.

Wow thanks guys.
solid advice, now I gotta look up that "Reisen" thing. I'll dedicate my first fuck to you guys.

xoxo thank bby

what you do for a living?

She actually offered to smoke me out initially but I surprised her by bringing blunts.
She gave me a lot of mixed signals, showed me her personal art notebook and stuff.
Idk.. I'll try.
You guys are allright. Thanks for that.
Here's some OC cringe for you as a present, it's from our conversation earlier and has been clouding my thoughts during our conversation

>A fictional character is getting a date before me
Fuck my life.

Reisen is a poster here, this one specifically.

Way to one-up me, Velvet.

Kidding.

Humor aside, you know, I never really thought about it that way, Sky. Never thought that a reason why people would talk so much because of nerves. The notion seems alien to me, honestly.

But this is expanding my empathy toolbox, thank you very much for the insight.

What? You made this for me? I-I don't know what to say, thank you, user. I wasn't expecting this at all.

Way to catch me off-guard. Got a name, by any chance?

Why do you think it was you? Don't be so egotistical. It was Quetz.

Well, feeling calmer now. The nerves have settled and I just received a get-well card! Could say I'm in pretty high spirits.

It's not meant to one-up, Just part of what I do.

It's a fun job.

your going to do exactly what I tell you to do, you are going to go stop N shop and your going to bring me some oats immediately
or I'm going to jump you

you are going to help me jump this girlshe has my oats

It's not that cringy; she moved right past it and didn't care. She doesn't mind, you shouldn't mind. I've seen far worse.

Don't stress over it, all things come in time. It's not something to be overly worried about.

Locked and loaded, brother.

Uuuh, what does that entail? Are you going to write our names in your cum or something when you're done, user? P-please don't...
Relay and enjoy yourself, okay? To me, a smoke buddy is never a bad thing as long as it's not just your stuff getting used up.
Really? I do that all the time.. Talk too much, I mean. Haha...

I guess that makes two of us in high spirits. Heard you have a date?

I was really hungry, this is great.

-Al

Of course big boss is getting all the ladies! Well...You're in a hospital bed, right? Still a bed though, you could offer them to know you better by spending their nights with you...Kidding, don't do that, i mean, not in the hospital! And especially if they don't want to.

Oh...That figures. Because i noticed it's pretty easy to dislike me lately, i was afraid that person could've been me, sorry for that.

I refuse.

You need not look far. Reisen is the bunny girl in the thread that gave you advice.

Good luck, user. Should you get that far, be sure to have her call you "2B".

Marketing strategist for a company.

user, you're actually doing pretty damn awesome if I may say so. Nothing is more disarming and attractive than humor. And self-referential humor is pretty accessible and effective. You've managed to master it, I see.

If there are any anons around with similar issues, they could learn a thing or two from your playbook.

It's a date between friends, relax.

In reality, I haven't had a romantic date in...months. But before then, approximately 3 years.

Oh, I'm out of the hospital now. Got out today in fact.

-Al

You sure? We could talk about it outside the thread, if you'd like.

Hey, no problem. Happy to help, you just have a good time, relax.

(Also that screenshot, lol)

Hey, nice man. Good to hear :)

then I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to bite the barrel of this .45

From what I've observed in the voice channel, I don't feel that is the case. Then again, you are at home there and not under pressure.

Louise will be taking me to the movies.

Lately? What have you been up to that others would disapprove of? Or is this another instance of baseless self-deprecation?

>having trouble guaging your interest.

You made yourself sound like a pathetic idiot. The ball was in your field and you go ahead and screw that up? Don't talk like this with girls anymore, nor the I'm gonna be honest shit. You gotta a learn to play the game.

The only save would be a short text, and drop her otherwise.

>well Im looking to have some fun is all.

Do it, do it motherfucker I dare you, I double dare you! Pull the trigger, piglet, do it!

Right! ...You even mentioned that, i'm not feeling so well lately so i guess i forgot already ^.^ Goddamnit i'm a moron.

It would be too humiliating to talk about it here, maybe later on private if you have time? But i see you're busy so maybe not.

Ah, alright, that's cool.
To be honest I haven't even talked to a woman in a couple years.