Hey bros I fucked up real bad, I want to ask for is a fast irreversible suicide is like...

Hey bros I fucked up real bad, I want to ask for is a fast irreversible suicide is like, I want to be able to do this in an instant. Can you guys give me some ideas. I have no guns.

Take a cold shower, coldest shower ever.
Wear 100% cloth everything in said shower.
Open the window and die of hypothermia.

I live in commiefornia its too hot.

Lol you guys have the creepiest national parks with the most missing persons
Go to sequoia National Park. Get lost and that's it
No one will find anything

What did you do OP?

Jump in front of a train

Drown yourself, hang yourself, helium bag, carbon monoxide, jump off of a bridge?

Cant travel, maybe I should just slit my wrist if the cops come.

Those take too long.

Suicide by cop. They will help you if you run for them with a knife in hand.

That honestly doesn't sound like a bad idea.

this?

attack police officer try to steal his gun

He'll definitely over power me. I think I'll go with the knife thing.

Find a police station and walk in with a knife and start stabbing cops. They'll kill you real fast, also you might get to take a few fucking pigs out with you. Everybody wins.

>Get rope
>Tie to somewhere really high
>Put noose around neck
>Hang self

I dont want to kill anyone but myself.

Take too long I need to do somethiny quick if the police show up to my place.

What did you do man might as well tell b before you go

>those take too long
>continues to waste time on fucking Sup Forums

Lmao fuck off cunt

Then don't actually stab them just be menacing with the knife and you'll get shot and killed all the same.

Get a gun (like a pistol perhaps) and put it inside of your mouth pointing up where your brain is and pull the trigger

No gun read op.

Well, if you're worrying about the police showing up to your place just wait until they get there. Then keep one hand behind your back like you have a gun and start approaching them saying you're gonna kill them. They'll shoot you and your problem will be solved.

Sounds good.

OP for real quick rundown, what'd you do Sup Forumsro

Btw, a knife will get you tazed. That won't get you killed...

I dont want to say anything that'll ahow prove but basically Im 17 and the other person was 14.

OP no doubt realized that he's a massive faggot and finally decided to do something about it.

I can pretend I have a gun then.

Lmfao thats nothing to kill yourself over unless it was rape

That’s got to be a small enough age difference to not be statutory, right?

Got it

This guy is right, by the way. Don’t kill yourself over that.

Don't do it. Be a man for once in your pathetic miserable life and face your problems pussy

Cut your Femoral artery. You'll be dead in like....really fast.

unless you're 100% certain it was rape or she/her parents will say it was rape don't do it it's probably not that bad

OP, I know you fucked up, but the age difference doesn't seem too crazy to make you a real life pedo. Got it, you're in trouble but do you absolutely need to kill yourself?

Wait? That's it??? You just had sex with another teen a few years younger? For fuck sake retard that isn't any reason to kill yourself.

Christ OP you're a fucking idiot, kys.

OP will get stun with teaser gun, and will get butt fucked in prison for the rest of his life

Age of consent is 16, if I get arrested I'll be a registered sex offender.

I've gotten arrested for this before but the charges were dropped.

Go get a gun. Put it on a credit card, you won't have to worry about paying the bill. If you aren't in America, book a flight to the US, put it on a credit card. Then, once in the US, go to a range, and instead of shooting targets, shoot yourself.

Guys, leave this dumb putz alone. We all know it's not really him.

Move on with your lives.

unless you know for sure that either she or her parents will call the cops on you don't do it

lol "she", when did OP said "she", more like he fuked his younger autist brother

Overdose on pills

Bullshit. Cops don't use tasers when the suspect is threatening lethal force. A knife will get you shot.

OP man up. You're 17 they aren't gonna charge you as an adult ASSUMING this was consensual

If the cops come a knocking then I come a stabbing.

lmao, post story so we know how fucked you are (or aren't)

Some ranges will let you rent guns. People have used this as a cheap way to an hero. Some ranges won't rent any more to people who come alone and aren't regular customers for this reason.

It was, but its still statutory rape.

Drive your car somewhere sunny and then like roll up the windows and lock the doors.

this.

cut out a piece of cardboard in the shape of a gun, go do a "1st Amendment Audit" (protips on jewtube), and livestream yourself waving your cardboard gun in front of a jail or police station.

If you're gonna check out, at least give us some lulz

You could just be black and say Idinnudonuffin.

Make sure you get a fat sassy middle aged black woman to scream at the cops that you are a good boy.

Works everytime.

if it was consensual why dont just keep it quiet both sides, or its more like other person was raped and now u do an hero

Her dad is pissed and wants to report it as me pressuring her. Which I did not.

Why not? It's not like you'll be alive to suffer any consequences. Go for the high score duded

why she told him in first place ? its not something her parents would be proud of it

To me sounds like your not fucked at all m8. What acctually happen? did you fuck a girl that is 14 and your 17? or did something bad happen?? also how do you know your going to be caught anyway??

He looked in her phone.

OP, you wont be a sex offender. At worst you might get unlawful contact with a minor which is a misdemeanor and you are not on the registry. You might have 6 months community service as a first time offender then your record will be wiped clean when you are no longer a minor.

At worst.

Please dont kill yourself over this. If i had a nickel for every high school girls parents that came after me...

Op your a fucking Dunce bro. Nothing will come of it tell her father too suck a dick.

No, he's a mexicunt and he fucked a white girl. If it was another mexican't or a nigger their parents wouldn't care because once their kids are born the parents usually flush the kid like the turds they are. He knows he's gonna get deported.

lol, OP my last words before u are gone, u are retarded autist in this life and u will continue to be in whatever comes after

most retarded story i ever heard, and u try to do an hero yet u are pussy enough to not say full story, or are u afraid u will die with no dignity left cuz u fuked rly gud

Oh shit the plot thickens...

you know thats with in the age gap your good op you have no need to kill yourself

...

Underageb&

at most you get a slap on the wrist your not gunna get anything serious the cops dont give a shit about horny teens being horny teens

Okqy this makes me feel a bit better, should I mention I leave to the marines july 10th which is why I am really devistated this is happening right now.

Don't kill yourself, kill yourself, you're gonna have to pick one there pal, you can't expect people to take your posts seriously if you spout everything and its opposite.

Brainless parrot.

Not Op. I've heard hyperventilating and holding your breath underwater was a good option. Any savvy anons?

and that will help ypur case actually the fact you joined shows your carictor and that your not a piece of shit youll be fine op nothing is gunna happen


>btw you joined the wrong branch Sup Forumsro

Judge would probably just sentence you to leave for the Marines even faster, lol. Romeo and Juliet laws bro, look it up. You didn't do anything illegal.

Well you could have thought about it before putting your dick in a kid you dumbass. Then again you're going to the mobile infantry so we shouldn't expect too much happening up there.

I want to know what the reversible suicides are!

Just make sure if the dad presses charges that you spend the money and get a good lawyer. Makes all the difference between cooking meals for veterans and serving in county.

Also, dont be black or hispanic.

>carictor
>your not
>youll
>gunna

Ladies and gentlemen, the military.

go to cops. confess to crime. get put in jail. get shanked by black or mexican.
profit

fucking loser

This should be common knowledge by now. Get a hose, an oxygen mask, a helium tank. Hook up the helium tank with the tubing and mask. Barely turn on the tank, enough to match your breath, put on the mask. Painless death within 10 minutes. I suggest getting som LSD or Xanax first tho. Might as well get high as fuck before dying

I'm a spic.

Is that your head or did someone take a shit on a balloon?

Buy a helium tank at walmart and a garbage bag.

The helum tank should be ~$20-25 and the garbage bag you can probably get at home but if not they're like literally $1 at walmart.

Then find a place to lay down, put on some music, put the helium tank and your head into the plastic bag.

Make sure both are easily able to fit although you should have no problems.

Then turn on the helium and wait. After 30 seconds you should be unconscious and after 3 minutes you'll be dead due to asphyxiation.

The best part is you feel absolutely nothing, you just drift into unconsciousness and never wake up. It's cheap, quick, and painless. Best way to go.

How did you fuck up OP? No matter how fast you kill yourself it'll be filled with regret stronger than anything you've experienced so far.

well if hes dead he wont feel anything after but his family, friends, and the girl he fucked will feel it

KILLING YOURSELF DOES NOT
1:Bring any relief
2:Bring closure
3:Make you happier
Your last moment in life will just be you being miserable, that's it. Nothing goes away because you don't experience anything after you are dead

grow the fuck up

Unless he's very gifted the girl probably doesn't feel it no more.