It's fucking over for me, dudes, i've been clinically depressed using medication every single day trying to make things better. i've been running every day for at least 4 years untill my feet started bleeding (i have anxiety attacks where i'll just start cutting the bottom of my feet with shit), i have anorexia, i became completely obsessed by becoming a trap/getting fucked by one, and i've transitioned from a fashy to an ancap.
So it's fucking over, the one thing that was holding me was my nigger gf, and she left me for a dude that looks exactly like me, like, no joke. I always used to tell her she needed to find someone who would go past his 30s but holy fucking shit, i didn't expect shit to happen so suddenly. I don't know what to do, i just came back from running, i've been out for 5 hours, just running. I've been listening to Ideas Man constantly while i ran because it's the one thing that keeps me going for some reason. I'll go run a bit more until i get cramps and then i'll go walking to a bridge near here to just end it all. It's 4 in the morning and i'm just making this last stop home so i can rehydrate.
So how's your night going, my dudes?
It's fucking over for me, dudes...
shameless self bump for attention
the second your hands leave that rail on the bridge, your going to regret it, and not a single person will know you didnt want to die.
Shit sucks man, you find something that helps you cope with the depression of life, but like anything else you do, it wears off and you need more of it to get that feeling where you separate from the depression that comes with all the fucking things you have to balance on the day-to-day. I know you probably don't want help but honestly man, you just gotta find something to focus on. Make a good habit that you do instead of indulging your bad ones, like running or walking when you want to cut yourself, maybe get a punching bag. Point it, if you're going to make yourself hurt, at least make the pain worth something. And if you're dead set on suicide, do something crazy bold to make a statement, or even just cause you can. Who knows, maybe you'll even live and make a big news story, or make a change. we are all a physical form taken on to maintain the growth of energy, the chemical and physical mistakes made because of our imperfect environment (and thereby imperfect selves) cause us to lose sight and give in to fear instead of believing that you can achieve something great, but everyone is capable in their own way, everyone has something they're good at and can use to be beneficial to the planet, or at least the people around them. Find out how the bad habits you've come to have are from a place of not wanting to burden others with your bad mental state, and that is some real strength: trying to find a solution on your own. No matter how bad or degenerate any bad habit it, it always comes from a place of good intentions for someone. Just look at yourself honestly, see how you've figured out life based on what you've been given and cherish the fact that you have a unique experience to overcome due to your chemical imbalances, and find out when you're doing what you feel you should for your greater plan and when you're just giving in to the animal.
Now I stopped fapping just for you, so you'd better at least take what I said as candid
I don't think you realize you are Forest Gump but not retarded. Do something, anything. Fake your death. Go travel the world. Become an entrepreneur. Do what you want.
Find a different coping mechanism, find someone that will help, even if you have to pay them. Don't end it, you still have so much life ahead of you. You know what they say, you can only go up from rock bottom.
Listen to these people OP
trust me dude, i've tried doing it a lot of times before, when i thought i was really going to die the only thing i felt was tired.
you're right, i will do something, probably, i mean, i have no access to guns, but holy shit i'll get some attention.
i ran out of money cause i set an exact time i wanted to die, and i'd be in like 2 months anyways so i started spending all i had, i used to work, got a lot out of it, but stopped as soon as i realised i could live a simple life with the money i had made, i spent it all on fucking weed and hotels, dude. i've already traveld through most of the country, it's just over dude.
Okay, the thing about the trap shit is you will never be good enough. I legit know where you're coming from, but you gotta realize, you're good enough now to get fucked in the ass if that's what you're actually about. If you're even remotely effeminate, there's a guy who wants you. Just get validation for it. Get fucked in the ass and see if this all still matters to you. Settling is all there is.
your life has been corrupted by the jew
thing about me is that i haven't hit rock bottom, i'm still lucky as fuck, like, my luck literally never failed me, it seems like it's only been the last few days that i've simply ran out of it and now i'll have to pay the price for being lucky
if the only issue was me getting fucked in the ass i'd be happy af rn tbh, i wanted something more then this, i wanted to belong to someone, i wanted someone to be the only reason i was alive, i wanted someone to keep me and to never fucking let me leave. But i've never found people like this.
Make your own luck. I know what it feels like, for a while I felt like I had nowhere to go, but you just have to keep marching on, keep doing what it takes to stay alive. With enough time and effort you'll find someone or something worth living for. Just keep going OP
the worse part is that i know this, but i'm fucking powerless dude, i can't change what i think.
the jews destroyed my fucking life, at least i still recognize the fact that palestine is for palestinians
i don't believe i can make my own luck.
I believe that the universe balances itself, it's a physics or chemistry shit i don't understand this nerd ass shit at all, but i remember that it's some shit with the fact that no energy is lost, just transformed. So that's why most rich people are miserable, it's the universe balancing things.
I was born in an extremely high class family who loved me for my entire life, supported me as best as they could with the little time they had, i was a social kid, i was fucking normal, i don't know where it went so wrong.
i feel like i'm you man, get out of my head
having the same experience? fucking hell dude. It fucking sucks seeing all that was your life just drifting away, right?
Well, if there's absolutely no way of getting you to not be an hero, at least try and reach what your previous goal was, finding someone to own you wasn't it? Try it, and if you still feel like you don't wanna keep going, use your death as a force for good, "make a statement" as a previous user said.
Those people don't really exist. That's not a realistic expectation, life really isn't that romantic. All love is ultimately conditional, even yours. Everyone does things because they need to, altruism is a sham. People do the wonderful things they do because they are fulfilling a psychological need. They may not want anything from others in return, but the very act of them doing something for you is inherently in self interest. They need to see themselves as a good person, they need to see themselves as useful/caring/self-sacrificial. Do some self analysis. Really analyze what's going on during the interactions you have with people. The human experience is a lot more shallow than you'd like to think.
For what it's worth, you can find some to belong to. You're just going about it wrong. How hard are you actually searching? How high are your standards? What are your standards based on?
It's really easy to feel things without putting a seconds worth of thought into why you feel the way you do. Pick your emotions apart, instead of looking for external things to ease the pain.
I don't like to read a lot. Can u say this in a sentence or two?
Send pics before jumping please and thank you :D
yeah bro, i haven't felt happy in years. im just tired now.
and to the people saying make a statement, whats the point? its not like its going to make any difference in the scheme of things
and it requires too much effort to give a fuck about. id rather just leave without a trace, i never felt like i belonged
I too suffer from major depressive for going on... shit, 15 years? Get your hands on some dirty ecstasy. Wait for the come-up, and enjoy your 5-10 minutes of euphoric bliss.
Once you've touched happiness again, artificial or no, and remember how it feels, you won't feel quite so suicidal. You may even work on yourself to naturally feel it again.
>The last time I felt 'happy' for more than an instant was 15 years ago
>trust me
i don't think i have any more time, i just want to end it as quickly as possible, i started cutting ties with people last week, all the people i previously knew now literally hate me. I had to make them hate me because i wanted to die alone, i didn't want anyone to suffer, but i imagined things would happen slower, seems like i was wrong.
as you said, this person doesn't exist, i really have no standards besides not being greasy and fat tbh. Problem is that i know i'll ruin things just like i've always done, but i've always ruined things because i didn't want them to be happy, i feel like i have to start all over again every single time it happens and it happens so fucking frequently.
he's basically telling me i should go out with a banger if everything else fails, make a statement, become recognized
i'll try to if my phone internet isn't completely depeleted.
holy shit yes. Please, dude, fuck me. Like, no fucking joke. fucking destroy my boipucci.
ecstasy is kinda hard to come by where i live, plus i lost most of my contacts who could have some due to being an asshole on purpose and i'm broke.
>boipucci
On second thought, kill yourself.
thx thx
>i'll go walking to a bridge near here to just end it all
>just making this last stop home so i can rehydrate
rehydrate for what nigga you gonna kill yourself. dead bodies dont need water
i'll run for as much as i can again, the bridge is like, about 90km away from my house, so i'll need some water if i want to get there
thank you all, my dudes, i guess i gotta get going now, tho, have a good night or whatever.
Do what makes you happy and if killing yourself makes you happy, go for it, my dude.
You do want them to be happy. You want everything to be happy. It's what everyone wants, otherwise they wouldn't feel this shit after things go wrong. You don't want to be sad, and you know it.
And for the relationship part. RELAX! You obviously have a self loathing problem and massive insecurity. Don't hide how you feel in a relationship. Fucking talk. If talking fucks things up, then there is literally no way the relationship could hold water in the first place.
I have tried to kill my self 3 times in my life. Twice I ended up in the hospital, and in all honesty, no one REALLY gave a shit. Not because the people in my life are bad people, but it's asking people way too much of people to support the emotionally fucked. You internal struggles are you. They Are All You, that's all they will ever honestly be, but that doesn't mean it's hopeless. You're alone in your head, and deep down, no matter how much you think you hate yourself, you love yourself, and you don't want to end your life, you just want to be happy
I'll destroy your bp ;3