You're at a bar. This woman walks in, sits down, looks at you and smiles. Post the most autistic response

You're at a bar. This woman walks in, sits down, looks at you and smiles. Post the most autistic response.

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Do you like Mudkipz?

>tips fedora

...

Nice dubs, like these?

You remind me of my mom.

If I finish twice is that extra?

make america great again

If I tell you you have a beautiful body will you hold it against me?

You little monster

Are you naked underneath your clothes?

Brad says 'hello'.

your back fat is showing

I really liked you in My Name is Earl. Your depiction of white trash in juxtaposition to a woman that is also driven made me re-evaluate my life choices.

May I buy you a skinny martini, or perhaps a shot of schnapps?

I think I just came

hi baby check my trips

>look her in the eye
>look at her tits
>look back at her face
>look back at her tits
>one more glance at face
>look_of_utter_terror.bat
>turn barstool so you're facing away from her
>continue drinking

Good morrow, m'lady

i mean these trps

W-w-what? What do you want?!

Don't look st me. DONT LOOK AT MEEEEEE!!!

is that a bra or a shirt you're wearing?

"Hi you look cool"

my traps are bigger then yours
>(flexes neck and double chin to show off traps)

Nice boobs, may I suckle them? /tips fedora

Are your father a blacksmith? Because those titties are smoking.

D- do you know how to make tendies?

Whats up

I smirk at her as I approach. When I walk up to her, I ask "hehe y-you come here often hehe" with a self satisfied little smirk on my face. In my head I think this is a brilliantly sarcastic ice breaker. She on the other hand, is totally disgusted by what I said and also how much uglier I look close up.

Did you know your right eye is slightly more elevated than your right eye? Because it is. I figured I should tell you.

Fixing for some fucking?

that sit is taken!!

>mfw talk to women

*I unzip my fanny pack*
Out comes the spaghetti

I use to date your mother when you had 12 years

Do you come often? I mean here?

Keeping eyes on her breasts, never look her in the eyes:
"you remind me of my mom when she was younger"

My IQ is 163, you are closer to a gibbon than you are to me. Having sex with you would be an act of bestiality but luckily for you I'm feeling like a dog tonight.
So what do you say, you want to be able to brag to your friends you got fucked into orbit by a rocket scientist?

> Actually works 8/10 times

Shouldn't you be naked?

Did you know Star Wars is better than Star Trek? Let me explain....

Frenchfag detected, also obvious autist

reee
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

What's so funny?

Anti-Racist is a Code Word for Anti-White, spread the word

OP--Can I smell your feet?

Her--No

OP--It must be your pussy.

youtu.be/SaxFyrw5JhM

Please state the nature of the medical emergency heh.

have you smeared yourself with sunscreen? I have some high quality sunscreen I can rub out on you

I'm looking for Dragonite have you seen one?

I'm a Sup Forums user

REEEEEEEEE

>make eye contact
>quickly look away and stare at my drink/phone/whatever
>anxiety swell sweat begins
>get check asap n leave hating myself

...

Stare at her.

Get off my baaaaaar REEEEEEEEE

Stand up and move down a few seats,

Ha- have you ever solved Rubik's Cube in less than 2 minutes? My record is 1:38. Here let me show you

Hi, would you want to play D&D?

This

God, I wish I didn't have tits like you. I think it's my medication.

Y-you too

"Thanks you. I mean, thanks"

Black people are black, but they aren't people.

Are- are you a p-prostitute?

You might want to stay back. I can attack you life points directly.

If you mom made you some tendies and mashed potatoes, which would you finish first?

M'lady as I tip my trillby

Uh hey you want sum fuck?

"Bruh, I saw you on Sup Forums"

Nice

I loved your tits in Wolf of Wall Street

Suicide Squad was your best performance.

>Reeeee!
>Spill spaghetti
>Turn 360 degrees
>Naruto run out of there

Margo Robbie sits down next to me in a sawdust bar outside the town limits

tits or gtfo you know the rules

Do you support PRESIDENT Donald Trump?

>image fagmiliar

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

Have you been redpilled yet?

203%?
>WAT
pls explain

200*
fuck, its tired im late

I would smile back and proceed to sit next to her. then I would say to her;

"u sucky suckyy, boom boom, me cocky cockyy, boom boom. me kumm kumm, boom boom chakalakalaka in youu"

must be summer ...
now count whites and blacks 2 x 100%

>hey....do you have a light?

literally did this once

I'm blond too, wanna touch my hair?

I like your hat

pls see its 2am here and im fucked on codeine so brain not good

hey

I LIEK TIDDIES! WANNA TOUCH YOU TIDDIES!

do you post on Sup Forums?

y-ou too

...

it depends what gender that person identifies as.

they shouldn't have canceled My Name is Earl.

its all good, mb dude

Why are you a discount Jaime Pressly?

did you just fall from heaven or was that me?

I loved you in "my name is Earl!"

>wwwwwwwwwrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

stare at her and offer a toothpick

I uh.. I noticed.. I noticed you. Hey! ..damn me. um... hehehe.. I'm Thomas!

>smile

So ya like Jazz? Let's skip the small talk I need you, listen I have smash melee on gamecube and my mom doesn't know how to play games, you up for a little one on one?