Late night thoughts? Feels Thread? Spread the hurt Sup Forums

Late night thoughts? Feels Thread? Spread the hurt Sup Forums

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=KAExa9P7hME
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Bump

Went out with my first and only GF for 3 years and i still have regular dreams about her. I still love her like fuck and she wont speak to me. I wish i was dead.

I know that pain too well. You're not alone.

Are you sure? I just got home and it's a lot. I was gonna go post on /adv/ and vent, but I still prefer Sup Forums.

I shouldn't have fucked things up with her, but at the end of the day it was better for both of us. I still think of her sometimes. She's easily the most beautiful girl I've dated and she was a great person (mostly). Can't change the past though

I took too many downers and I'm fighting sleep so I can shitpostxD

I need money soon, but I'll never be a cyber panhandler. Stupid rich kids parents won't buy them steam games. Fuck them, there's people living off hardly anything and they don't even beg let alone on Sup Forums

I fucking ruined the best thing to ever happen to me because I was so fucking immature impatient rude selfish stressed fucking everything and now she fucking wants nothing to do with me and I'm never gonna get her back
I don't know what to do anymore except linger around in mild hysteria

I'm nervous that I won't get the job I need in a city I need to move to. I've got a month left before the move. Hopefully things work out but I still stress about it.

lol

Cut your losses and move on

Mildly yeah

I should but it's likely fucking impossible

putting pain into art :/

youtube.com/watch?v=KAExa9P7hME

I can relate, though I lost them due to complacency. It has been more than a month now, I still feel as bad. Best friends for nearly seven years, dating for nearly four. Lost the only person I wanted or will ever want, and my only friend. I haven't slept in five days, every time I lay down I just lay there and sleep doesn't come.

It's definitely not impossible even if it seems that way

Bow does it feel to know you are good at something? To feel like you won't fuck it up for the millionth time? I dont know that feel. I have no purpose. Nothing to work towards

That's fucking awful man, I can relate on the complacency too, this just sucks, I fucking hate writhing in bed constantly being jeered by guilt to prop back up and do... what? There's almost nothing I genuinely enjoy anymore and everything feels like a greuling detour
I hate to be this obsessive but fuck man they were everything to me and I was too self-absorbed to make it work

It is, I have no idea what to do anymore because everything I do feels wrong
I step outside and instantly I'm encumbered by this violent haze desperately seeking to make amends but I just break down farther and latch to delusional fantasies to cope
Reality's fucking cold and unforgiving and I wish I were a stronger person to accept but I don't seem to be

I'm out

Fuck off

>Late night thoughts.

The left is making it real easy for an 8 years Trump admin to happen. Both political sides are retarded, becoming more and more divided over petty bullshit, and in the meantime, all of them are being taken advantage of.

Somehow I get the feeling Friedrich Nietzsche would be simultaneously amused, horrified and distraught at this incredible American Pantomime.

Meanwhile, Sigmund Freud would probably be hopped up on cocaine and accusing everyone of having an unhealthy fascination with their mothers.

I for one, have an unhealthy fascination with Op's (and his faggot brother-boyfriend's) mother -- one of the 'after 4 hours, call a doctor' variety.

Killer quads but I probably had it coming

Hysterical little bitch

Reggie man I know the feel

I wish I had something to be guilty for, it was mostly their fault we fell apart. Still I feel guilt for not doing more this last year.

just got told by my doctor i have ptsd from my abusive mother and that is what is causing my problems and now i need to take green pills that keep me up all night

I should have kept in better contact, her family was kinda shitty, was only in my hometown for a few years, they even tried coming to church and stuff as much as neither of us really liked it. For a few months we'd sneak off and hang out and talk about stuff and do things, nothing intimate, just typical high-schooler stuff, but she was the only person in that town I could really connect with and felt comfortable around, didn't have many friends outside of bible-thumping, strict religious shitty parents and their kids. I had some feelings for her but never told.

Her parents got fed up with church, with the town, moved away and we lost contact, I still had her email and facebook but we stopped talking less and less, found out she got into a bad crowd, was doing drugs and other shit, really missed her and all. few years later, found out she took a gun to her head, I was in college at the time and I had to stop everything and just, let it hurt, I feel like it's my fault, like maybe I could have done something more or got her to leave her parents and her shit town, just anything, too late. it's been a few years now, moved out and on with my life, the few times I do sleep (college fucked up my sleep and mind) I still dream about her, good and bad, and in my daydreams and waking dreams I can still kinda see her and hear her voice.

Sorry for the long sob story, it's 5am and can't sleep, haven't met anyone like her since, maybe I was just a dumb kid sure, but maybe I could have saved her.

my life feels so pointless and without meaning sometimes, I go through the same unhealthy routine day by day even though I tell myself I want to get some work done that day.

>wake up tired because sun wakes me up early
>go on pc
>play games
>forget to eat because of games
>finally eat when I'm starving
>eat infront of the pc
>lunch
>pc
>tell myself I should do something with myself
>"meh I can do it later"
>pc games
>supper infront of pc
>eyes burning like fuck yet still sit infront of PC
>finally go to sleep when burning eyes hurt too much
>go to sleep later than I promised myself
>repeat

please help, I want to get off this hellish life

hellish ride**

I'm a weak version of myself. I have so much potential that i fail to realize continuously, also

Sounds like me until I found the person I always wanted to be with, once I did I bettered myself and got a good paying job. But now I lost that so I will be joining you on the hell ride soon once my life finally collapses completely.

I have a significant other but it's a long distance relationship... you're right though I should try doing something for them or for our future. Thanks for reminding me about what matters user.

I'm doing nothing because I am nothing. All I do is sit and age. If I had gone through with killing myself in high school, at least I would have been remembered for my potential. Instead, I'm a constant reminder of waste.

Gonna vent a little.
2 years ago my dad died. 4 weeks before i graduated highschool. I had known he was gonna die several months prior when i got a call saying that his surgery was gonna take longer than usual cause there were complications. Anyway. I spent the next since months after that call going to school, managing to get a full ride to My university, and coming home and taking care of my dad, feeding him, checking on him, making sure he was comfy while mom worked. Having to feed my dad applesauce because it was the only thing he could really eat, reallllyyy took a lot out of me. Never thouvht2 id have to spoon feed my own father. I watch his body deteriorate before us, gettinf weaker, skinnier, though he always smiled. A day or two before he died was the last time i ever heard anything coherent from his mouth. You know what it was? Ibwas helping him to his hospice bed and he said"fuck you user and laughed". That was over two years ago and even though he never ment it cause he was on morphin and literally mentally insane at that point, it still destroys me on the inside. Like fuck man.. No,matter how hard i try i cant remember anything else that he really said before he passed other than that. Me and my family, mom and two brothers, watched him die. Gasping for air not able to do anything other than drop morphine down his mouth. He was waiting for my brother. Ater my brother arrived he still wouldn't go so we had to tell my dad that it was ok for him to go. That it was ok for him to die.. I. Watched. My. Dad. Die. I cant really explain it other than he was lying there gasping for air cause he was struggling to breathe and he just slowly stopped gasping. His heart gave out. Body shut down. Cancer was everywhere. I was the last to leave his side after he left us. Me and my family took a few shots in his name while waiting for hospice care to arrive so they could declare his time of death. April 24th, shortly after midnight. I'll continue.

Glad I could help. Now hopefully a miracle fixes my problems.

I feel like I wasted my childhood, and all the good parts of it are overshadowed by the shitty parts and family drama

I'm afraid of growing up, and part of it is because I'm worried about my parents emotionally being able to handle me and my sister no longer being there

That gif of a half dead Asian having a living arm pulled out of him while he laid on top of other dead bodies fucked me up

Thanks me too
KYs
Ayleasy I won't be on your level for long

Same, except I expect to outlive them

The actual time was april 23rd at around 11:20pm. We had to wait for a nurse to come legally declare his death. I was just 18 man.. I know its not that young but i never thought my dad would die before i graduated highschool.. It fucks me up whenever i think he wont be there for my college graduation, my wedding, when i have kids. He wont be there, i wont get to tell him all my achievements, the stuff im doing in college. He wont be there. What the fuck man.. It hurts so much thinking about that. I wish he was still here... This is the first time im really talking about this, not even ny gf really knows the story of what happened. I could never tell her, its to much. But somehow typing it to a bunch of anons is easier. It did teach me one thing though.that life is cruel. No matte what happens, you can't slow down, tou can't stop to grieve or anything cause that's when the world will fuck you up and kick you the curb. Lifes cruel man.
Sorry for the story.

Sorry to hear that user.

Yes, but just think. He is better off as he will enjoy the sweet release of death soon.

I can't decide, if being part of human society is actually worth it and whether I should try to help form it, in one way or another.
Or just check out and become a mediating monk trying to achieve personal enlightenment,while ignoring the rest of the world.
Would the former be worth it? Isn't the latter egoistical? Does it matter at all? Could I just kill myself, without upsetting the flow of things?

>simultaneously amused, horrified and distraught
As the old saying goes, liberal fascism leads to conservative fascism.

...

True and forgotten as often as its said.

I absolutely hate the American education system. Not because of the obvious practical issues with it,but because they fill out heads with high minded idealiam, that will only end in dissapointment. There is. A difference between encouragement and delusions