I can't be the only one who sneaks a syringe filled with egg white into the cinema and injects it into the chair...

I can't be the only one who sneaks a syringe filled with egg white into the cinema and injects it into the chair padding, right?

Remember when Sup Forums was Sup Forumslite and not Sup Forumsprime?

I remember.
Shit is crazy these days.

remember when Sup Forums was /l/?

For what purpose?

remember when Sup Forums was reddit?
You will

Why would you do this, what if I were to sit their next.

Personally I take a flask of melted lard into the cinema. During the movie I pour it onto the floor and let it harden.
I chuckle to myself thinking about how much of a nightmare that will be to clean up.

When it starts rotting you have to replace the chair to get rid of the smell.

When I use the toilets and there's a loose toilet roll, I like to throw it into the toilet and piss on it. After a short period of time it will absorb all the water/piss and essentially block the toilet.

Why though? What would compel someone to do such a thing?

you don't actually do it tho

You charge $20 for popcorn and soda? Fuck you, enjoy cleaning nail polish I've "accidentally" spilled on the chair.

...

$40 for a Hotdog and Slushie? Fuck you, have fun mopping up the piss I've "accidentally" sprayed on the seats.

>normie couples about to watch some capeshit premiere
>make a bomb threat to the cinema
Enjoy your evening, friends :^) Too bad about that movie you wanted to see that got cancelled.

$800 for a cinema towel?, Fuck you, have fun cleaning up the fermented menstrual fluid I've 'accidentally' shitted onto your seats.

Name one (1) theatre where these prices are employed.

Bauhaus Flicks

The McDonald's theatre and rape education center in Bali, Indonesia.

The one I went to in Sydney. Granted it was only like $12 dollars American.

Charging $500 to keep my falcon in the Cinema Eyrie is criminal. They deserve everything coming to them.

What? Why the fuck do you bring a falcon to a movie theater? Why the fuck do you even have a falcon? And why in God's name does a movie theater have a fucking eyrie?

>go to cinema
>guy shouting $10 per hot dog
>trying to listen to movie
>decide to go to steam room until he finishes selling hot dogs

go back yo yahoo faggot

what theater doesn't have an eyrie?

yeah break their motherfucking roombas

>was

Every ting is eyrie mon

You Charge $900 for a premium crab leg package?
Fuck you. Enjoy the poops I accidentally made in the chair.

>tfw lobster doesnt come with black butter

This got so out of hand with people doing this at my theater they ended up just getting rid of all the seats. Most people just bring beach towels now but the sand gets fucking everywhere unless you sit on your anvil or something.

not just having your own home cinema room.

>lobster is still twitching

>trying to watch latest capeshit
>cant hear a thing over the theater blacksmith making horseshoes
I can't be the only one this has happened to?

>mfw I bring a pocket full of thumbtacks and distribute them around the seats and floor before I leave

I bought a 16 pack of tampons, soaked them in cranberry juice and left them to dry. Distribute throughout cinema. Mission accomplished.

>see this shit
>yeah right, like a woman could do this to all these tampons
>pick one up and taste it
>it was the only real one

>mfw I work at the clinic and bring the unwanted fetuses along to hide between the seats

I just pirate movies

Yeah, some guy at our cinemaclinic did the same.
Its amazing how many get abortions during movies really

I don't know why anyone would get an abortion at the cinema clinic their prices are outrageous.

dont the theater have cctv tho?

Not mine.

We have searchlights and a few secret police walking around.

Needless to say if you get caught you'll be doing some years in the popcorn mines.

The hardened criminals get sent to the baby lettuce harvesting facility. Most only last a few days after killing so many so young.

>wanted to go see some romcom with my gf
>have never actually had a gf but go to cinéma anyway
>can't enter because of no singles policy
>a gf at the snackstand costs $40,000 and even more inside the building

I just went home

his falcon was probably blocking it

Hmm if you don't live in a third world country chances are police will track you down and they won't take your troll joke lightly. And if bonus you're either slightly dark or autistic you're going on both their terrorist watch list and sx offender list if you're not on there already. Jokes on you user.

>asked my crush out to film
>she rejected me and threw popcorn in my face
>later hear she is going with Chad instead to the same film
>make a bomb threat
>theater ignores it because no funding
>actually planted C4 in the theater and killed everyone

normies never saw it coming

Um... but he still made sure the normies couldn't watch their capeshit flick. Seems to me like he won.

This. Bonus points if you keep flushing until the whole floor is covered by water and shit nuggets.

>arrive at cinema in my private jet
>terminal next to my screen costs $12.50
>passport control forbids me bringing lobster through customs
>decide to pay $30 for crabs legs at duty free
>no drink
>get in to screen finally
>the guy on the jet ski never shuts up
>film ends and I leave with butter from crabs legs dripping all over the seat
>didnt even say thank you to the air hostess escorting me out of the cinema

how did the falcons react to a bigger bird at the film?

Got caught in on of her engines.
She didn't fly so good.