I'm a taxidermist. Ask me something

I'm a taxidermist. Ask me something.

Is this your fetish or something?

If not, why the fuck would you want to do this?

How did you get into it?

Do you make much money? Is there a big demand for it?

At what point did you realize that you were a sociopath?

No, it's not a fetish

Most taxidermists are family operated businesses. A family member called me and asked me about it. I needed a job, and it's unique.

Is Uber taking away your profits?

What is that? You calculate taxes?

What's your favorite furniture ?

what's the weird thing you have seen like taxidermist?

Do you go hunt the animals or find them at the side of the road

If it were legal, would you taxidermy a human? But more importantly, what pose would you put them in? (Question 2 is open to other anons)

ever preserve a human?

why does taxidermy still exist in 2017?

who is your customer base other than edgy "pinup" girls and lame ass people from the midwest?

Museums are filled with this shit.

I'm an avid hunter and like to euro mount skulls. Deer, coyote, etc. I use the boil n scrape methos (over and over and over...) To clean it before bleaching it. Is the boiling and scraping the best method for just home hobby (I don't make a business from taxidermy), or should I do something else that's easier? (Dermestid beetles, etc). I tried the beetles a long time ago and they smelled like shit and were difficult to keep alive.

I personally don't, but I have worked on animals that we charged customers 60k to mount.
Some richfag comes in here often after shooting a 100k goat. He'll sit there and nitpick until it's perfect.

When I took a break from Sup Forums for a week.

Our customers are too pompous to use uber.

someome brings us a bisembodied head and we play in it until we're bloody from head to toe. Then we put it by several goat heads and speak in tongues.

Murphy bed

I don't have a weird thing, but the most unsettling thing was a man who brought in his daughter's dog who died of "old age," but we skinned the dog, and there was obvious signs of trauma. I assume he was hit by a car and the girl's father didn't want to fess up to it.

Others hunt. We occasionally do. Roadkill tends to jot be permitted since lost animals require a state-issued permit to kill, but when you bring in smaller animals(foxes, raccoons, ducks, etc) we don't think to look for the permits. Just the deer and big animals.

Around the same time you realized you're a pansy..

Here's the thing, it's not illegal to do such a thing to a human as long as you have permission from the human while it was still living. Many people donate their bodies to science and museums for this reason. There's a museum in face that will turn your body into plastic works of art. I would make them a masked dancer or something else interactive.

No, but I have stabbed myself many times and got preservative in me. Insects don't like to bite me much anymore.

Rich men with small dicks and people who hunt for food, but see a creature they respect and want it to look alive again. I like the hunters, because they are genuinely generous, kind, and respectful.
and assholes, but those are everywhere.

We personally boil skulls in a high concentration of hydrogen peroxide tharbir should be illegal for us to keep. One drop and that part of your fucking arm is going to burn for the next six weeks. It still smells fucking awful, especially when we can't do many skulls at once, so we'll have 15 awaiting boiling. They rot away until the fucking place smells like putrid cake frosting. It's worse than normal "rot"

have any favorite bad taxidermy examples

any interesting constructions you've made form spare parts

any questionable inquiries for taxiderming?

Jesus Christ the girl's father kill it

Not particularly any I've seen in person. We have shit that hits the uncanny valley, like bobcats, but nothing that makes me shudder.

We usually turn spare forms into rocks, but we haven't frankensteined anything questionable save for a few Tv show props notionally made to be ugly as fuck.

Only questionable things we get are people wondering if we can mount eagles and owls. For the record, if we do. They have to be donated to science or schools. You cannot legally own bird of prey parts and mounts.

Do you ever have nightmares over the the unfinished horrors?

Did you do any of the Trump wives?

what is your profession

Ever do a hippo?

he's a taxidermist, pay attention.

If I brought in a mouse head could u get it stuffed and mount it on a place for me? Also if yes what would t
He price range be?

It was the small and happy type, if it's any consolation.

I had a nightmare that my foot was skinned off, dried and rotted. The skills here can cometimes dry while rotting, turning their red muscle tissue black. I'll be back during deer hunting season in September or November and show some examples of the gore fest

No, but we have or are doing something for one of the trump family members, or so I am told. Something small.

Is that my nigga Jason?

thats pretty spooky.

No hippo.
Multiple giraffes, lions, and cheetoh-puff balled leopards, but no hippo.

You could, but you're better off doing it at home, bruh.
Get some xacto-blades, borax, stuffing, a sewing needle, thread, probably some foam to make a somewhat triangular shape you can cut out, some thin coat hanger wire, black beads for eyes, and a bit of clay and you're good to go.

No Jasons here. Try again.

As a fellow taxidermist i appreciate others in the profession.

have you ever put your dick in dead animals mouth or anus??

Do you know, could the conditions of preserving a body in the way bog bodies were, could it be replicated in say, a bath? or is it more specific to the flora and fauna, the ecosystem of the bogs?

J-son?

>we skinned the dog, and there was obvious signs of trauma
when a dog is very old with cancer or some shit they sometimes have to be put to sleep
the father just put it to sleep with a shovel

Are you Chuck Testa?

>mfw there's other taxidermists on Sup Forums

Nope.
Nope nope nope nope nope nope

I'm not sure. I think it has something to do with the acidity and nitrogen content of the bogs.

It's possible.

Yes, a couple times

Indeed there are. Unsurprising as taxidermy is an iconoclast profession, and Sup Forums is filled with abnormalities.

Are you ready for the taxidermy anime?

So ready! Im more pumped than for anything before, besides taxidermy of course.

>Something small
Not the presidential penis, by any chance?

I lied. It's not real, but now you realize you need it in your life.

I already have it in my life... But it could have more taxidermy.

Are you independent or do you work with a crew?

Mostly by myself, but occasionally my daughter lends me a hand.

What what the coolest you have taxerdermised

do you ever get to work on non-traditional stuff?

How many hands does she use, user?

YOOO amateur taxidermist here. ive only done mice and rats but have been working on birds lately. (not mounting more like preserving wings and getting bones)

pic related, something i sold on my etsy
What you think OP?

heres a cat skull with preserved flowers i sold

Depends on how many she has free at the time...
But mainly between 2 and 4.

That is easily the most autistic thing I have seen all month...please do the right thing for your family and kill yourself

what do you think of this one?
i made it for halloween

Lions, Zebras, cheeto-puff balled leopards, iguanas, bears. Whatever you think is cool.

Non-traditional stuff isn't what customers want、so unfortunately no. I want to actually have animals if weird or dynamic positions.

dont fuse her with the dog.

Cute. Try to make sure things are even and symmetrical.
The eyes on that mouse aren't level and the one on the right is further in than the one on the left. Bring it out more. Novelty stuff is good. People love it, and you're more likely to have random buys.

How do I get into this proffession?

What was the first thing you worked on?

Do you carve the structures from scratch or do you buy like, a deer form and fit the skin on it? And best tool/knife maker?

Now I like this.
Neogothic artsy stuff is perfectly okay with me.

good advice, thanks. yeah i have a hell of a time with the eyes.

>
>
>Is Uber taking away your profits?

Kek

We usually buy a form, but things don't often fit, so we have to sculpt the face and body a bit.

Call up a nearby taxidermist and ask if they will take on an apprentence or intern. You probably won't get paid, since it takes a lot to train people at times. There's also taxidermy conventions.

Giraffe.

Life is often about symmetry. Things get easier the more you know what to look for. You'll also get quicker.

Hmmm well how about this one then? "Gothy"

Whaaat? Nooo.... I would never... No.... I mean who would even think of... Hmm this gives me an idea for a new mount.

Second pic

No fetish in appreciating the elegance and biology of animals in the traditional art of taxidermy in an age in which we are so far away from nature and turning it into your profession for profit

Definity look at pictures of mice while you make these to help you get the right face shape. I also suggest getting a paint with a more ink-light consistency and not as opaque. Blood should have more of a staining effect rather than coating.

>"profit"
Personally, I like trying t bring the animals back to life.
It's almost insulting to me when someone wants a duck "dead" mounted.
You already killed it, fucker. You want it more dead?

how long do you think it would take you to skin a human?

Probably a while. Human skin is thin and fragile, and any knick would show up easily. It's also easy to flesh (remove fat/meat) a hole in human skin, due to being so thin. I had to mount a baboon once. Aside from the creepy as fuck hands and feet that kept peeling, I would never want to attempt a human. It's too much trouble. Donate yourself somewhere else.

Has competition from Uber and Lyft hurt your business?

Can you taxidermy a fish

Yep. We can skin, mount, and paint it like a deer. We pour a resin over them to give them an extra glossy look.
If you're also a "tall tale" person, you can give measurements (length and widest part of a belly) and call to have a replica made.

damn thanks for the insight, no wonder human taxidermist were always considered masters

Got any wicked huge animals or scary looking shit you stuffed or have laying around

are you a taxidermist?

Due to the nature of taxidermy, Imve never heard of a successful human taxidermist. I know that a few people have tried it, but you're better off scaping someone and having a wax replica made. It will look better and probably last a bit longer with less yellowing.

What was your hardest work?

Oxen, many, many, many skulls, elk, we have a plastic rhino. There's talk of having me start up a fucking dinosaur replica, but nothing really scary.

Post some

Unfortunately, I'm not at the shop right now, and it would be tomorrow before I was. All I have on my phone are squirrels and a bufflehead duck.

Boiling and bleach are both awful methods that will prematurely degenerate the bone. You should use a different method, like maceration. Faggot.