Help me get laid b

Help me get laid b

"I'm sure I've got some humerus puns that will tickle that funny bone"

After that mention the bone in your pants

I don't get it

Because you're fucking stupid, but I'll pity you:

>Jessicas
>Just because

Not as much as you'll love giving me your snap

Kek. Can't help bro dog filters are boner killer. They scream "mentality of a slutty teen" abort now or get trapped in shit show of drama

Yeah, don't say this. Ask why she swiped right you fucking pussy.

This good?

You think a woman on tinder is capable of understanding that?

I didn't get it either. It wasn't the most obvious play. Because "Jessica" would naturally come at that place in the sentence so it doesn't exactly stand out.

"I hope that was enough to land a date because I'll be honest Jess, I have literally no idea where else to go from here."

"So if you give me a time and place, maybe I'll have a better idea."

Any girl who tries to get a date using the fucking dog filter (or any Snapchat filter) as their pic should be shot. Like every fucking girl thinks she's unique or something because they have Snapchat filters.

>I'll pity you
My sides, when you ask dumb niggers to help you score. You seem like your doing fine Sup Forumsro. But pro tip: woman like confidence, act like the user you are on Sup Forums with out the racism bigotry and gore and you'll score endlessly. Don't forget to wrap it in later or shell take your paychecks

>"I hope that was enough to land a date because I'll be honest Jess, I have literally no idea where else to go from here."
>"So if you give me a time and place, maybe I'll have a better idea

I certainly don't claim to be an expert, but women really don't want to make decisions like this. Indecisiveness is a feminine trait.

Op here, I didn't say that, it was someone else

Seconded

Tell her you love her

You seem like a whore

Reworked it a bit

My nigga

>Indecisiveness is a feminine trait
Your not wrong. Don't ever ask where they want to eat decide where from what food they enjoy most/what they have eaten in the past week

Oh, well the advice still applies, just be like that guy

Yeah cuz u seem like a whore

Probably not, but you're hot so im gonna try anyways

Damn son. I might figure something out

Tell her you'll go downtown

Rerolll

Roll

Sorry, faggot, it was me that taught ol' dumbshit up there how to read a joke. Gotta disagree with the leaving bigotry, racism, blah blah out - it's a good start, but a good looking dude can say whatever he wants and still get laid, pal.

I second this, And also this

Op here, I like this one. Yeah?

Absolutely not but you're hot so I'll fucking figure it out

just tell her you would like to make snaps with her and have fun with her you beta bitch

Sorry, dad jokes weren't on my radar when it came to Tinder game.

Yeah i want to send you a selfie of me with a dog filter so we can be twins

Don't say hot they don't like it. Think it's impersonal only applies to their body. Try jaw dropping or gorgeous. Bitches eat that shit up more then ben and Jerry's on shark week

It's cheesy pick up line not dad joke. You really are stupid

"Nope, but you're jaw dropping so I'll make something work" how about that?

Literally all you have to go on is their bodies, it's Tinder. Hot is fine.

haha she fucking cornered you, imbecile. unmatch, move on, you blew it.

told you to ask why she swiped right. great work.

Say "well I know where I want to end up ;)"

Don't use any of these, and for the love of Goku, never say sexy

Maybe for dog filter bitches, actual mature woman become disinterested.
Your not completely wrong but your not right either

Yes do it

"yea, i'll go from the window, to the walls, till the sweat drops down my ballz, and then i'll skeet skeet skeet on your face"

...

rolling

Why don't use? Have worked fine for me women assume your in touch with your emotional side if you can make something complex and thought provoking

Alright, you got me. I probably won't. Why did you swipe right anyway?

must be op because that was a fucking stretch

Nigga, you done goofed

this

Game over man

SHIT HELP ME SAVE IT

It's also a really good way to get friendzoned. Not saying it won't work at all, but it could go either way.

Must have Iq higher then plankton to understand. She got it fine and she's a dumb dog filter bitch. What does that make you?

We'll, I'm a woman, so I think I'd know...

...

nope, just not a god tier idiot.

Nah, man you used your judgement and failed. Reflect on it. Soak up in your failure juices.

You're fine dude, but don't try and correct her with more compliments, just keep going with something else.

so hows about that snapchat? I can send you a pic of my dick if you promise not to laugh?

Told you Sup Forumsro. Women are already disinterested because they assume tinder is used by men for sex(obviously true) you gotta make them think your different. If she doesn't auto reject come back to me . Other wise it's back to the drawing board

Yeah youre right i take that back...

Don't support the self deprecating play

True

BROKEN ARROW

dude...if this girl is replying to that, she's just as desperate for attention as you are posting this shit asking for help.

carry on with your dog bitch, OP, lets see how this goes.

Just be honest and tell her you want to fuck.

THIS.. say this otherwise she will think youre creepy

Kek. Like I'd believe you
"Everyone on the internet is a man until proven otherwise" tits with timestamp or your just another fatty jerking it in the dark

What should I reply with

kek

Let me show you how wrong you are

Okay, then don't believe me, like I give a fuck lmao.

Ugh I hate girls who think their ugly, like shut the fuck up

Reply with this

"I was just being nice."

She gave you an out nigga. Say shes right she's actually gorgeous and get the fuck off that topic.

you fucked up bro, say "sure you're not hot you're gourgeous and then hit her with YOU snapchat and ask her to hit you dm. then start flexin on her bro you got this, c'mon now

Roll

"Then explain my erection babyyyyy gurrrl"

Agreed

"You can thank me by sending me your snap so I can disappoint you even more"

Rolling

this fuckboi

Rell

Op here, got her snap

roll

>Say shes right she's actually gorgeous

This is why you don't come here for advice, OP.

This, right here. Works like a charm

roll

Winrawrs XD

You used my responses so you're welcome

Roll

underrated

this

Now what

Fine don't give a fuck trying to help him score with knowledge based on fact and trial and error

kys