Hey Sup Forums, i have no clue where else to post this, so why not here...

hey Sup Forums, i have no clue where else to post this, so why not here. tbh im prob posting this on the wrong board but im a fucking normie and idk what im doinng

so lets sit around the campfire and get ready for this /feels trip

>be me
>6th grade
>have a normal amount of friends
>take everything for granted as kids do
>be generic "haha who tf gets bullied" kid
>parent be in the military
>we get moved from california to Virginia in the span of a month of getting told to move
>by the time we get there only 1 month left of summer
>litterly no kids my age were out side, only like tolders and shit
>realize im kinda lonley
>"o whale ill make friends when school starts"
>school starts
>first day of 7th grade
>be really shy and scared cause my biggest fear is being alone
>go up to a group of kids before the homeroom bell rang
>"hey"
>all i said was "hey"
like i didnt nothing but say "hey: to them
>"leave us the fuck alone you scrawny little ginger fuck"
>O
>gets but hurt
>dosent talk for the rest of the day
>next day
>X17 times more nervous and shy but still try and make friends
>we got 5 minutes for passing periods for lockers and such
>tries to get in locker
>oof
>4 big black dude come and start fucking with me
>take my glasses and toss all of my shit from my bag down the hall
>shoves me into locker (not inside)
>okay
>week goes by
>still hasnt made anyfriends
>starting to get sad
>kid asks me to sit with him at lunch cause all of his friends went on vacation for 2 weeks
>bond with my only friend for 2 weeks
>talk about nerd shit like books and yu-gi-yo
>says his friends can be dicks but can be cool
>i talk about how i get messed with from the 4 niggers of the apocalypses
>he says his friend his friend is on the football team and can help me
>his friends get back
>Mr. foorball is the one who called me a ginger fuck
>o
>4 turns into 7
>no longer have anyone to talk to cause my only friend was best friends with the kids who beat the shit out of me evey day (pt. 1)

now this he wasnt a bad guy, and looking back on it, he was prob friends with them to protect him self

>7th grade goes on
>makes no friends whole year]
>gets shit kicked out of me regularly
>parents dont care but i love them anyway
>school dosent care
>literlly my daily scheldule for 7th grade was go to school, not talk to anyone, get my shit kicked in, go home, then go to room and just sit and listen to music

okay and thats 7th grade summed up for me, and i know reading it is short, but please just >be me for a moment, think about living that daily schedule, exepecilly when going thru puberty,
like my biggest social interaction was eating diner

>8th grade starts
>changed school building from 7th to 8th, but same distric with same people
>day 1
>starts to repeat 7th grade schedule
>meets mexican dude
> false naming him J for easiness
>hang out with J at lucnh
>he plays trombone so we talk about music
>he dosent really listen to any, but stuff like eminem and daft punk
>i have a lot of music to talk about casue thats all i did
>A7X, lamb of god, slayer, motorhead, metallica
>gets him interested
>we swap songs to listen to, i gave hime kill em all and master of puppets by metallica
>he just gave me songs
>i didnt listen to any of his songs
>he comes in next day
>holy shit user, i fucking love this
>invites me over to his house
>we jam out to metallica all day long
>is a mile walk from his house to mine
>i have to go home
>he volenteers to walk me home
>o
>blasts "disposable heros" while walking down a hill
>we are both screeching alog
>"YOU WILL DO, WHAT I SAY, WHEN I SAY, BACK TO THE FRONT"
Pt.2

>becomes best friends
>spend all of our time together cause we have no one else but eachother (no homo)
>he also usesd to know how to play the bass but stopped cause borring
>inspires me to want to learn to play guitar
>parents say no
>oh whale
>become literly the same person, like we were inseperable
>one day he deecids to prank me
>"hey user come over to my house, we can play vidya (we always played MKx)
>sure
>walks all the way to his hosue
>he isnt home
>what the heck
>i call him
>he pranked me
>mfw i walked 2 miles for nothing


okay so 2 months through 8th grade thats all that really happens, we still best friends
so J had talked about this one dude he knew named juan. he was short fat mexican kid and was 2 years younger than everyone else.


>we hung out one day
>he talked about how he fingered and fucked this one girl and how she was so hot but she was kinda crazy
>call bs
>he gives me her number to call and ask her to prove it
i wish this never happened, this is where my life went to shit
> calls her
>she gets embaresd and hangs up
>i think nothing of it and think we wont ever talk again
>me, j, and juan all go home
> she texts me
>"why did you call me and ask that, who are you anyways"
> "o my name is user and im one of juans friends, he was bragging about everything you guys did"
>expalin all of the stuff he said they did
>she says that they daited for a week and that he had a micro penis
>kek
>"well my name is ryah, and i think we have english together"
>i never payed attention in school cause ik it was only 8th grade and didnt matter
>she was an A student while i had F's in every class
>we start genuienly talking
>like it was a normal conversation but texting, like there was no motive behind it, and she didnt want anything, she was just genuienly curious
> talk until 2 in the morning
>she said "time to go to sleep, im starting to hear voices"
>lol k

i wish she was fucking joking
(pt.3)

> wake up
>"2 new messages"
> "hey britanny do you have the wrong phone number"
> "lol sorry wrong number"
>i responded "lol okay"
> she responds instantly
>we started conversating
>was a genuine conversation, like we never got bored when we texted

we talk this consistantly everyday and become best friends, and we talked about alot of person stuff. like how i got bullied alot and how my parents just ignored me.
and she talks about how her step dad beats her alot.

>now be me
>past 2 years no females every payed any attention to me
>thinks all female think im inharently disgusting
>dosent think of he as a possible gf at
>expecially cause she taled about having a bf

now this is where it starts to pick up

>parents suprise me for some reason
>i get to visit one of my friends from califoornia who moved relitivly close to us
>few hour car ride
>talk to ryah whole way there
>gets there
>me and my friend just dick around
>gets late
>start talking about his gf
>he asks me if i have one
>"nope"
>well are you talking to anyone?
>i mention ryah and how she has a bf
>i show a picture of her
>tells me to go for it

now i dont know why, but this just brough a wave of feelings over me for her

Stfu you stupid ginger fuck, no one gives a shit. Neck yourself

>nothing else happens while im at friends house, but i still talk to ryah when i could
>go home
>juan texts me
>"dude ryah likes you"
>i drop everything and go to text her
>ask her about it
>shes upset but still talks to me
> "yes i do user, i wanted to break up with my bf and tell you personally, im sorry for ruining our freinship'
> "but i like you too"
> we start talking about it
> we agree to start phyisically hanging out after school instead of just inschool
>she agree that she'll break up with current bf and we'll start daiting
>we hang out everyday for a week
>there was always sexual tension when we hung out
>weekend happens, like it does
>"hey user, my parents are gone for the day, come over and play some vidya with me"
>"okay"
>this was before the "my parents arent home" memes so i didnt think anything would happen
>oh boy i was wrong
> get there
>play vidya for 20 minutes
>she turns to me
>"hey user, i broke up with my boyfriend"
>i do this whole gay thing of asking her out
> she says yes
>the force of the universe pushed me to kiss her
>it was only a kiss
>just a simple kiss
>i pull back
>she gives me this look
> she grabs me and we start violently making out

now i wont go any farther with any details but user made it to flavor town
(((still a virgin)))

>i get home
>go to text her like we always do
>user i diddnt actually break up with my bf yet, i dont want to hurt im, but im going to
>well i mean
>i thought it was okay
>ONLY
>cause she was going to break up with him later
>i should have taken it as a sign

>she breaks up with oldbf and i become newbf.
>aperantly the whole time she was really depressed and she said i helped her
>gives me weird feeling of purpose
>we keep on talking more and more
>she had depressive episodes but she never thretened herself
>2 months into the relationship
>be me
(((actually think what it would have been like to be me)))
>went from having nothing in my life, i had no reason to live but the future
>meets best friend
>meets amazing gf, who we had genuine feelings for eachother
>the worst thing about my life was the depressive episodes but those only happened like 3 times in the first 2 months so it was fine
>now
>be me
(again)
>sunday night
>she texts me
>shes having an episode
>its really bad
>like really really bad
>shes not listening to me andgoing on about how there is no future for her
>she wont explain
>she tells me goodbye and to tell everyone sorry
>im confused
>ohgodno.jpg
>beg her not to
>she says that she was sorry meeting me and putting me through this
>keep on begging her
>she dosent respond
>keep trying to text her
>she dosent respond
>call her
>goes to voice mail
>calls her 17 times
>nothing
>she goes silent
>oh god she did it
>i didnt sleep that night
>at all
>spent all night balling my eyes out
>morning comes
>dosent say anything to parents
>i dont even shower
>and i shower everyday
>just gets on bus
>and goes to school
>she wasnt where we normally met in the morning
>shes gone

>gets to 3rd period science
>i just sit in there cause 2nd period is right next to it
>contemplate life and if its worth living if we all die anyways

this is where my real depression starts, yeah i was sad during 7th grade but i had hope for the future. now everything i hoped for was gone. there was no tomorrow that was worth living without her

>ryah walks through the door, looking happy as fuck
>im so confused
>"sorry user, i fell asleep last night and i slept in"
>give her the hug of all hugs
>the feeling of no tommorw leaves
>the feeling left a mark on me
>realized i was nothing with out her
>hold her
>i never wanted to let go
>she was the only thing i needed
>i never wanted to feel the feeling of losing her ever again
>a week goes by
>everything is fine
>thats in the past
>sunday night again
>same thing happens again
> all the same emotions
>everything is happening again
>morning comes
>goes to school
>shes at our normal spot this time at least
>thank god

now this is really all that happened for awhile. this happened every week or everyother week, but i never got used to it at all.
now im leaving out alot of stuff cause ive already spent 2 hours typing this but this is the final chapter of important stuff

>8th grade is growing to an end
>get word of moving again but dont say anything
>things with ryah were the same but i thought things were going as best as abything could ever go
>go to her birthday party
>just me her and her other friends, cause none of her other friends like me
>go to theme park
>its pretty gay tbh
>enjoy it tho
>car ride home
>as i leave she hands me like 7 peices of paper folded up
>she just said "im sorry" snd they left
>i was confused
>get home and read the letter
>oh god why
>deatails of how she cheated on me with 4 people
>i die inside
>i just stop
>i didnt care about anuthing anymore
>i didnt have a tommorow with out her
>text her and break up with her
>idc its over text cause what she did to me
>30 minutes later
>gets call from her friend
>tells me she going to try and kill herself again
>i still careabout her, but i didnt want to be with her at the same time
>decide to be a good person
>call ryah
>talk
>only way to get her to not is to agree to start daiting again
>she wanted to keep talking like we used to
>i do it
>for her

and well, thats the last of the major events of my time in virginia, for the rest of the time i was there, the suicidal episodes when to almost everyother day, and i still cared, even after everything she did to me. i have no clue why.
i felt responsible for her life.

>i move back to cali

>she has an episode
>onlyway to calm her down was to promise to wait though all of Highschool and meet back together
>at this point i kinda got over her cheating on me and i didnt really care
>back ito the relation ship
>do the relationship for the 1month before school started
>first day
>three kids come and talk to me
>actaully makes friends
>goes to school
>in fancy engineering program for smart kids
>meets other smart peopel
>everyone is nice
>have a great day
>gets home
>ryah texts me
>tell her about my day
>triggers her and cause her to have an episod
>calm her down
>deal with her foor the next 4 months of my freshmen year
>starting to get tired of it
>talking to j
>he says to just end it
>says she prob wont even do it
>"yeah prob, that makes sense considering she hasnt yet"
>text her
>break up with her
>30 minutes later
>her friend calls me again
>tells me she going to commit the suicides
>tell her its not my problem
>2 weeks go by i hear nothing
>gets call from her friend
>says that she actually did it
>mfw all the feeling that i got from the first time she almost killed her self came back but 17x worse
>i realize how much of an asshole i am
>i realize im the shitiest person ever
>it was litterly my fault
>beat the shit out of myself for it
>next day

>put on mask
>b happy for evry one else
>act like nothing happened
>none of my new friends even knew about her
>afew months go by
>freshmen year of highschool is almost over
>me and my group of friends got into some dramma and i needed new friends
(oh yeah, i also started to play guitar near the middle of the school year)
>be in fancy engineering class
>literly the smartest kid in the the scool in next to a another dude with a guitar
>go up and talk to them
>talk about music
>start hanging out with them
>becomes new best friends
>look up to gituar dude cause he is so much better than me
>they have a whole group of amazing people
>they accept me
>new friends
>new life
>tells smart guy and guitar dude about ryah
>smart dude says i should make a post about this on Sup Forums
>i knew what Sup Forums was
>"o i will eventually, it'd be alot to write"
>fresmen years ends

well its now almost the begining of sophmore year and im doing what mr.smartguy said i should do, and i left out a ton of details and this is the end for now. theres a whole epiloug i could do but oh ive been typing for a long time
also thank you for reading, reliving all of this was tough so thanks for giving it a read, id anyone even reads it

and last thing, if anyone sayas "oh you were only in 7th grade you couldnt have felt that way about another person" fuck you, i could have easily put myself at college age and it would have been fine

also if anyone is being rude, stfu you go on Sup Forums for fun, but if you arent rude, youre cool

Good on you for posting this. I spent a good 15 mins of my time to read this. I'm sorry for your loss

You ginger fuck your parents never loved you. And you drove the only pussy you'll ever get to suicide. Have fun never having a healthy relationship you mentally scared faggot

Probably best greentext I've read in a while. Also, don't beat yourself over it. She decided to do it, you tried to help but she didn't want to get help.

who else didnt read this suicide note essay but skipped to the last line

>Neck yourself
Get off your dad's computer and get ready for summer school you normie trash. Underage b&, only middle schoolers talk like this.

Thanks for sharing op Sorry about all that shit tho

Summer school already ended unless ure in special summer school

i really want to say that OP is a faggot but i can relate to this too much

Same ;((((

holy fucking shit this greentext is long

You were in no way obligated to deal with her episodes for the rest of your life - she cheated on you - 4 TIMES - FOUR . I would've dropped her at that point.

And I guess she never did it and she only wanted to make you feel worse about it.

Have you ever checked if she actually killed herself?

yeah there was a whole nother meme of things that happened that i diddnt want to have to type cause it was already long enought, but she her mom found her and she got send to a mental hospital. she got out like 2 weeks ago and texted me

See. That should've lifted you up, after you heard that.

Happy for you, user :)!

Rock on!

kek

im loving this thread already

read it all

what did she say OP

This is a blog thread...

she prolly sent some fuck shit

the greentext is long enough to be a blog if you think about it

she said that all of her friends left her for some reason, and that she basically has no one. it made me feel kinda bad cause i can relate

TL;DR OP is a ginger faggot who killed a bitch in freshman year

what did you do then?

o/

>mfw op is 16/17

dubs of truth

the dubs of confirming dubs of truth

tbh i just kinda ignored her. i said i was busy with work

good on you then, the bitch didnt deserve your attention

>no one has posted underage b&
Kid, middle school and high school were the worst parts of my life. I'm 24 with a career, a family, and a house now. Not to quote the fag slogan but it does get better if you make a serious effort to not be beta for the rest of your life.

it depends if OP is going to be a beta fag for his whole life

This is very true. It's close to being the only this that matters.

Thanks for sharing. Your not responsible for her actions.

I fucking loved middle school and high school. That's when kids actually started talking to me instead of treating me like a disease. But in elementary school, so many people disliked me that I was actually rather content because I liked that I was known by many people. I thought of myself as the popular unpopular person. The one everyone would recognize.

WTF is going on with my posts??

OP, does your last name have anything to do with metal?

Quit living in the past and dont put pussy on a pedestal. Plus your like what 16 ?

Bruv I didn't meet my missus til like 26

/thread

no but if it did that would be metal af

underage b&

There is someone your age who moved from Cali to Virginia. I would mentor the fuck out of you it you were who I thought you were.

Hope things pick up for you user. Life is shit but you're a guy. It gets better as it goes by.

>all these lame ass teenage problems
Dude you're going to be fucked as an adult if you don't grow a spine.
>chick hears voices
Attention whore.
>threatens to kill herself constantly if you don't do what she wants
Retarded attention whore
>cheats and you don't care
Talk about not having any self respect for yourself

You're too young to be caught in this stupid shit and all it'll do is drag you down more and more. Stop being a faggot and worrying about the stupid actions of some desperate skank that did nothing but use you. It's not your job to be the emotional tampon of any woman you meet.

hey i was near Fort Lee if you know where that is, then cool