>Feels thread
Sometimes...life just feels lonely, no matter how happy you actually are.
I'm in an extremely happy relationship, doing well in school, doing well at my job, but I fucked up bad last year and can't stop thinking about it sometimes.
Why are you sad today, user?
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oh boy. incoming.
my mother is a disaster of a human. growing up she seemed to keep everythign together. maybe she did. maybe it was all a lie. Lying has become her primary form of communication. She treats us like her little dolls, insisting we act a certain way so she can pretend she has a perfect family, but then manipulating us against one another to suit her will. She fucks it all up then says it was just a game.
most recently she tried to turn me against my father. I didn't meet the man until i was 4, and I was not a fan. He was in the military so he wasn't exactly around a lot even after that. He left us for a year when i was 9 and i was basically left to take care of both my older and little brother. my older brother was a delinquent and I had to do my best just to stop him from destroying everything.
my mother came to me when they were talking about divorce and told me he left on purpose, that she suspected her of cheating on him with his brother so had to get away. I can respect the decision to run off and find your self, but it doesn't mean I have to respect him. This was the final nail in what was already a pretty full coffin.
but with everything coming to light, that might be a lie. I tried talking to them both about it, but he denied it, they both stuck to their stories , and then did what they do best: pretend it didn't happen. one of them was lying, the other knew it, and they just keep on going as if it didn't matter.
cont
even if he didn't have a choice in leaving us, it doesn't do much to change how I feel about him. Hes not the perfect villain by any means, but he was a bad dad, even when he was around. for some reason he picked on me the most, probably because i was the least masculine of his sons. If my older brother hated carrots he had no issues, but if i hated lasagna, he would keep up all night until I ate it, then when i finally tried, id vomit, and he'd smack me and tell me i was being 'dramatic' (as if i could force my self to throw up).
I could forgive this, I could forgive him leaving, I could forgive him smacking the shit out of me simply because I was a nervous laugher. he had some heavy crosses to bare and we all let it out negatively.
but what really makes me unable to forgive is that when I told him I was molested, he told me i needed to 'get over it' so that we could keep the family together. they insisted I continue to even share a bed with my molester, my brother.
My older brother molested me when i was 4 and he was 6. it was traumatic for the obvious reasons, but not something I held against him growing up. he was 6... not exactly the same person he is now. The unfortunate truth is it didn't end with the molestation. He is a big man, and he believes that being big means that he is in charge.
I remember one christmas I came back to visit, and my father had woken me up at 7am. like my brother, my father needed to just assert his dominance. I wa sfine waking up if there was a purpose, but i was grown man who lived on my own just visiting for the holidays, and my dad insisted 'if you're going to sleep under my roof, you gotta wake up when i want you to'.
i went to facebook and simply posted 'being an adult should mean being able to sleep in if you want to'. a bit passive agressive, sure, other than for the fact that I more or less said that to him first. i didnt see an issue with posting that.
this apparently made my mother cry though. She needs to have the 'perfect holiday' every holiday. i remember when we were younger we'd argue over which actor appeared in which movie, and she'd throw a plate at the wall and say we ruined christmas.
this facebook status about wanting to sleep in upset her. the next day my family and I went out shooting. on the way back there wasnt enough room for all the guns in the trunk so i held one in my lap as my brother drove us back to the house.
thats when he began to threaten me. he asked why i posted it, i said i was expressing my feelings. He said 'well i express my feelings with my fist, so next time you express your self im going to express my self all over your face'.
i was there, an adult, with another adult threatening to assault me because i posted an innocuous facebook update about wanting to sleep in. i had a gun in my lap, and it was already pointed in his general direction. 'i have a gun' i said. 'do not threaten me ever again'.
since then we have never been alone together. This essentially highlights our relationship. Since the very beginning it has been that he is bigger, so he is in charge of me, whether it be sexually or physically. growing up did not change this mindset at all. if he had just molested me as a kid i could overlook it. but he continued to believe that he was in charge simply because he was big.
but he took me seriously in that moment, and as a result we are no longer close.
now tonight is has come full circle back to mother. I was the last one to turn against her. She's tried to commit suicide (or pretended to at least) so many times in the last two years that its just become exhausting. and then she comes to me and says 'you are the only reason im alive. id die without you'.
tonight i called my little brother to inform him that I am going to be changing my number and leaving the family indefinitely. he was understanding, having still lived in my mothers town and seen her through years of abuse, cheating, and alcoholism.
we exchanged what we knew... he had no idea about me being molested and mom and dad just insisting i pretend nothing happened. likewise, I did not know that mother had come to both of them when i posted that facebook status about sleep and had asked them to get me to stop. I doubt she asked my brother to physically threaten me, but this is the kind of games she plays. Act like a victim if anyone steps just a little bit out of line, and turn everyone against each other.
she used to tell me I was her favorite. for the longest time I actually believed her. Now I wonder if she told my other brothers that too.
bought a new phone, changed my number, and asked them not to try and find me. we'll see how it goes.
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well, built up knowing a chick for months im really close to her, then introduce her to a friend in a atter of days they are even closer than i am, man life is nice
b/ro...
ugh that just fucking hurts user. i feel worse about oyur friend than i do about the girl. just rough all around.
sometimes it feels like everyones meant to be happy iwth each other but not with you.
Jesus user. I am so sorry you went through that.
I wish you the best of luck.
Hey, it happens. Maybe she just wasnt into you? No matter what happens, there is always some one else.
I dated a girl for...four years, my high school sweetheart, we did everything together, learned together, grew together...we talked about moving in together and maybe even getting married. We went through a really rough spat and thought that maybe if it was best that we split up for a while.
During that time, I met another girl and we fucked. A lot.
Well, I broke it off and got back with my girlfriend, because I did love her. She asked me about what I did with the other girl, nad I didnt want to hurt her...so I lied. I told her we just hung out, and never did anything more. Well she found out eventually, and suspected I cheated on her(I didnt.), but it ruined her trust and our relationship and I have regretted it since. We kept trying until the end of last year, but she was never happy with me afterwards. Not truly. She had depressive and suicidal episodes, she tried self-harming and overdosing...I still dont know if it was legit or just attention seeking, but I knew it was best that we end it for good. I was devastated for a while because i wanted so badly for us to work out but....
I'm five months into a new relationship...and I really like my new girlfriend, but I still sometimes think about my ex and what I did....
>someone posts 4 posts worth of family history and trauma
>oh man good luck
>someone posts two sentences of 'tfw no gf'
>three paragraphs of response
why
Its about experiences and empathy.
I can empathize with him, but I've never been in that situation or anything close to him. So what can I really say that means anything?
anything other than 'oh wow good luck' woulda been nice.
thanks user I really mean it.
I gotchu
>Three paragraphs of me BSing my way into some heart felt speech about how it can work out and get better because Ive never been through that sort of trauma and can't relate and any possible way, so the best I can really do without coming off a pretentious douche is a heart-felt "Im sorry and good luck"
Just broke up with my girlfriend so my inner betafag couldn't think of any other conclusion than to go on Sup Forums. Man, i didn't think it would be this hard. I really loved that girl but life is tough sometimes. Does anyone have any tips for winning her back?
same shit happened to me m8 wats worse is ive known her for like 8 years
this is probably the most generic shit someone has posted in a feels thread considering this is what just about everyone else says but fuck it.
I've never had a real gf, and that hasn't ever really bothered me until recently. As I get older I've been feeling more and more like I just want somebody that actually cares about me. I honestly couldn't care less about sex or any of that shit, I just want to know what it feels like to have somebody else love you. And the older I get, the more I realize that with the way I am, I probably never will.
I love a girl friend that got cheated and broke up a 12-year relationship. She is in pain, and likes my company but I think she only sees me as a friend whereas I love her so much. I've hurt myself trying to make her comfortable. We've had talked a lot about ourselves and there's no much secret. I want to confess my love to her, but i don't know how she will react since she kinda feels sad what happened. On my side, I cannot wait any longer, but I'm the only one she's been open about her feelings and I don't want make her suffer more.
why did you guys break up?
What happened?
How long ago did she break up?
January of this year
...
According to this the whole Sup Forums is cancer
Current year is the actual cancer
Just cause she's open about how she feels with you is not indicative of deeper feelings than friendship. Before you confess think long and hard about this. It's only been six months and she was in this relationship for over a decade. It took me a couple of years to completely get over my divorce and that marriage only lasted three years. If you really want a relationship that lasts, make sure that she's up for it and that she is interested in you..
summerfag go back to tumblr
She is a beautiful to my eyes, she invites me to talk somewhere or in her flat, I like when she smiles and I dare to say her pain, still there, is not as strong as before, also she's so sweet and as we walk she likes being closer.
Now how can I not have feelings for her? I always keep in mind her pain which hurts me in a way, I do not want to mess with her broken heart, but I'm hurting myself while i try to make her feel better. Sometimes I feel that if I hug her, I wouldn't let her go.
It's getting painful for me, and I plan to fess up everything regardless the result, I just want to stop her tears.
Well well. Going to break the tearjerking here for a small bit.
I'm young, 19, still a virgin. Good bunch of friends from here and there. But also only recently developed any form of personality, for being bullied for so many years, basically the childhood as a whole was that way. And the fact that i let everything build up inside left me with emotional walls bigger than Trumps wet dream.
Not my point. My point is, despite my failings, i am happy. I'm young, i have time. I help everybody i can anyway i can, but a few people came asking for help about getting a Gf and getting more friends. And those cunts ran circles around my point, and never seem to really try. That pisses me off, when i try but others don't.
But those problems got me thinking. Those and 5 shots of vodka in short time. My old relationship was nice, she was my type, but i was too beta at the time. So she broke up with me. Well just quietly left me to rot but it's a different story.
And now i feel like shit. I feel so very lonely, without a shoulder to really cry upon. Nobody to vent about. I feel hollow.
Well more vodka and a snooze should help
I'm still here user, your soul is fragile, unfortunately adversity is what makes us stronger. Don't let yourself drown in sadness, it only makes things worst.
However, you are a source of comfort for her and at this point she is probably still hurting from the breakup to adequately reciprocate your feelings. If you do this and it damages the bond between you two, it would be more hurtful for her than anything she would gain. If you are hurting, maybe you need to back off for awhile to gain some perspective. Just cause you are a source of comfort does not lead to romance very often.
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I wish it was as easy as saying go find friends and be happy. However I feel for you. I know that loneliness very well and the best I can offer is some stupid platitude about not giving up. I hope the best for you user..I really do
I love u
Well yes drowning myself in sadness is not the choice. I know that. And i'm trying to make some friends of mine understand that.
And yes. I have walls, but there is a reason why i have them. Not a terribly good reason, but working on removing them.
So in summary: don't just lie there sad. Get the fuck up son. Get help.
I'd love to find a fucko willing to listen to my whining that i could treat as a person.
Sup Forums works, but it is only text on a screen.
Same here bro, at least we are not alone
Hell, sometimes that little stupid platitude is the difference between life and death.
Thank you for replying, it hurts, really, I just cry when I think of what I'm in. We talk when we can, and she told me she appreciates I'm there for her, sometimes like the debt is huge.
Love has changed me these past months a lot, I'll try to back a bit.
Sup Forums is cancer
late night feel threads are the only time I see humans on this website
>Sup Forums
>Humans
If you care about yourself and her, you really need to think clearly. Unrequited love may be romanticized but it sucks balls. I will also bet that if she cares for you in any way she would not want to be an emotional burden to you. Take a step back, think clearly and then decide what to do
It's hard to find happiness when everything seems pointless. You ought to love an activity that suits you, then you might find yourself into something others like too. Being alone only brings more pain and low self esteem.
It's not like "stop being sad", more like "do what you really love/like", if it helps people, much better, I guess.
Im a procrastinating little shit who gets stressed over messes i could fix with minimal effort, my mom died a long time ago and i never grieved, my dads a shit parwnt and just got us evicted, so im currently living on the floor of my friends room and here i am posting my problems on Sup Forums Thats the short version anyway.
>why are you sad today?
Because I'm a fat ass with a small dick.
Friends wanted to go swimming today
Girl I like is going too.
"Thanks for invite but I'm feeling sick"
Stay home cause I don't want to take off
my shirt in front of her.
>I just need to lose weight!
My dick will still be small.
What's the point?
Just cuz you got a small dick doesnt mean you cant get the mouth game of a god dood. And ive met quite a few chicks who preferred my friend over me because he was fatter and cuddlier where as im a walking skeleton. Theres someone out there for everyone.
I have tears atm, when you say unrequited, I hope you're wrong. Later or sooner she has to know i really love her, even if it finishes a friendship.
My soul is getting hurt for her to be happier, and I think I can wait till Christmas.
I hope there really is someone out there for everyone. Thanks, bud. Maybe I won't lose all hope.
Not all girls are the same, if you have a bit of confidence, stop your eating behaviour/disorder. Not from one day to another, it takes from simple things to complex ones. Once you get over it, you can adjust to a diet easily and exercise to lose weight efficiently and fast.
Working on my suicide note.
Last year I left the career I had been working on for 10 years so that I could spend more time with my girlfriend at the time. Prior to meeting her I had spent most of my life living alone, in the same studio apartment. I meet her after my promotion and things were going amazing. She had a beautiful smile, and loved to do anything so long as we did it together. I let her see who I actually was as a person, told her my hopes and dreams and we made plans together.
One month after I found a new job that would pay me the same but I worked half the hours, she cheated on me and left me, taking everything with her. I never trusted anyone like I trusted her, no ones ever gotten that close to me.
But it didn't stop there. At the same time my new job realized the head bookkeeper was stealing and covering it up, the company was close to bankruptcy and didn't know it. I was laid off indefinitely within a couple months of being hired. I had taken most of my cash and credit to keep myself stable after losing everything and finding a new job, so I had nothing to tide me over. I was broke and facing eviction. To top it all off, my best friend died in a car crash around this time.
This was all last year, and things haven't gone anywhere since then. I don't even know where to start. I've been hospitalized a couple times since then as my mental health deteriorates, but no combination of meds and therapy techniques can make me forget that I've lost it all.
I'm sad and lonely inside and no ones knows it because I wouldn't tell if anyone asks but I feel happy and kinda block out those feelings with certain songs and I know they're still there but it's just a matter of time until my little artificial happiness runs out and I crash and burn I know it's gonna happen and I can't keep going on like this I need someone in my life but I'm to shy to go ask anyone out
>be me, in the army
>come home for leave the first time
>oldest cousin introduces me to girl
>we talk briefly, we decide to stay friends
>during the rest of my 6 month stay at AIT I occasionally think of girl
>come home from AIT for a week and some change
>girl is still single, so we talk it up
>we fall for each other only admitting it to one another my last day here
>leave the next day for first duty station
Anyone else feel this?
I shouldn't really be sad. I live in the first world, have a decent job, good upbringing. Have friends, family, and while I don't right now, I've had some very good relationships in the past. But my life lacks passion, intimacy, direction.
The best part of my day is at work...I'm good at it, and it gives me purpose. But it's the only thing people prize me for. It's the only place I've made friends. If I start working at a new place, all my old friends fall away. The only time people seem to genuinely care or want to support me is when my depression gets so bad my work starts to suffer.
Friends I truly connect with, that I can honestly just talk with and speak my mind are few and far between. My best friend right now, I only see them maybe once a month, and they probably only like me because I stick with them even through the hard times. We're so different otherwise.
The rest of the people I felt I could talk to...have fallen away. For whatever reason, I tried to keep the friendship alive and they just let it die. I valued them so much, I would've done almost anything to keep that connection, but they just couldn't be bothered.
Like I said, I've had some really good relationships in the past. Eventually, like my friends, they seem to just get bored and let things fade out. These are the women who I've loved, poured my heart into, learned to be a better man for...if I called any one of them and told them I was having a tough time and needed someone to talk to, would they even care? I guess at least they tried, at the time.
I haven't felt more than a handshake for months. Can't remember the last time I spoke honestly about my feelings outside of my monthly best friend hang outs and counselling sessions. Sometimes I think maybe paying for a cuddle buddy or even an escort might be a good idea.
you're trying too hard
Cont. because it feels good to get this off my chest...
The joke goes you don't pay a prostitute for sex, you pay her to leave after...if I hired a prostitute I'd probably pay for an extra hour for the pillow talk and to feel someones arms around me. Sometimes I still remember the good times my last girlfriend and I had...the sound of her voice, the way she laughed at my stupid jokes, the look in her eyes when she looked into mine...I feel like bursting into tears but I just can't. Even here, sitting alone, there's some sort of mental block stopping me from expressing my emotions.
The world is turning against me. I'm a straight white middle-class male. The left thinks I'm a misogynist racist sexist bigot just for existing. The right thinks my reason for existence is to increase someones bottom line. I'm going to have to bust my ass to hopefully not live in a basement suite my entire life, while my dad went to university for free because the government decided they needed more people in the tech industry at the time. Can you imagine that nowadays? Lucky bastard.
You seen the video of that japanese home holograph girlfriend thing? Make fun of them all you want, if it had an actual AI with a personality, I'd get one...
Is there still anyone out there trying to solve the Elisa story and get justice for her? :(
The person I want to spend the rest of my life with recently discarded me like a used napkin. I just can't get over what happened no matter how hard I try. They said they cared about me and that they would not abandon me, but here we are.
They didn't even think I mattered enough to be honest with. Instead they choose disloyalty followed by making me feel guilty for their life ruining actions. Sure I acted ridiculous afterwards, but they knew I would given how important they were and given the words they used to inflame things worse. To this day they say they still care, but if they cared why did they think I deserved this?
Either way, I need to better myself. Maybe then a miracle will happen.
Also, how do you pronounce Elisa? Alissa? El-eye-zah?
I killed my ex's pet lol
Anyone still around?
Yeah
Your not alone bro I'm in the same boat plus I'm in love with my best friends gf..
Recently broke up with my girlfriend and I just feel miserable all the time even with my friends. We were fighting all the time and when I brought it up to her I asked her, would she rather try and work it out or just end it. She barely gave me a reply and said "Yah lets just end it". Now I see her snapchats to my friend of her being a hoe with tons of different guys. But she's still so perfect to me. All my friends are happy we're over bc they said she treated me like shit and an amazing guy like me deserves better. But god damn I would kill for her to look into my eyes one last time, tell me she loves me and bury her head into my chest. I saw her snapchat story today and she looked stunning as always and now i'm drunk as fuck. I'm an alcoholic and I almost beat it but now i'm back to drinking
I'm here man
Okay so I can blame my loneliness on lack of trying but my point is that the chances arw so low that i don't see the point its like jumping a gorge you know you'll never make it to the other side. Let me extrapolate. I am about 5'2", with a 4.5 inch penis. I hace trouble communicating myself properly and accurately. I am always afraid to say how feel unless I know that the person won't be a judgemental prick about it.
I'm pretty much the same dude I'm 5'5 but with a nice dick, but trust me dude that doesn't make it any better. I can't talk to people because they won't understand what I've dealt with.
Don't be the rebound, mate. You'll only end up with a broken heart.